The Best Boyfriend I've Had Is Married

It's really sad that I've been with a bunch of different types of guys and the only one that's ever treated me the way a lady should be treated, is married. My married boyfriend.... still going strong for over two years now. He's only been married a year and a half but that's not the point. He brought up it up last night after our amazing date night, that I spend a lot of money on him, with getting hotel rooms, buying him lunches or dinners sometimes, giving him gas money, etc... and all he has in return is mind blowing amazing sex... but that's not even the case. If he was like any of the last few guys I've spent my money on like that, he would disrespect me and treat me like garbage. But he doesn't. He's sweet and caring, and even though our time is limited and his love is shared with his wife and kids, he's still the most genuine guy. He's never lied to me, he's always upfront and honest about what's going on. He's mature and things that would gross most guys out about a woman's body, don't affect him. We make our relationship work despite what our friends think about it. I see him everyday now, because we work together. He's amazing that he helped me get a better paying job. You would think we get sick of each other being that close now, but we don't. We're just the best of friends at work, and sometimes we can get a little intimate but we usually wait for the mornings after work for all that. And how I love those mornings! I'm 90% sure that most of my family knows he's married and knows that I'm still seeing him. My sister outed me a few months ago at a baby shower. But it really doesn't matter what they think, because they're not dating him. I am. And I'm happy and we know what we're doing. They should just want me to be happy right? It may be morally wrong what we're doing, but we don't care. All that morals stuff doesn't get in the way. My conscience isn't beating away at me for what I'm doing with him. We're not flaunting our tryst around. We can't do a lot of public things for the sake of his wife finding out, but that's okay. I don't need all that "in your face" public romance. I love sneaking around with him. I love spending five hours or so hiding away in a hotel room, with a hot tub in the room (if I may add), getting taco bell after an intense round of steamy sex... and cuddling up with some Pawn Stars on tv. If we could, we would do that every Friday night. But we can't, because plans fall through, money is an issue, rooms are expensive, and every other thing that gets in the way. But the nights that we do get like those, are always special and amazing and memorable. I'm in love with the best man I've ever met and known, and I don't care that he's married. Because when I look at him, he's not married. When I'm with him, it's just me and him. The world isn't there. By the way, HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY!!!

Pitch Perfect

Aubrey: What's your name?
Fat Amy: Fat Amy.
Aubrey: You call yourself Fat Amy?
Fat Amy: Yeah, so twig bitches like you don't do it behind my back.

Donald: Who'd be easier to sleep with? Captain America or a Great White shark?

Bumper: [to Amy] You are probably the grossest human being I have ever met.
Fat Amy: You're no panty dropper yourself.
Bumper: I have a feeling we should kiss. Is that a good feeling or an incorrect feeling?
Fat Amy: Well... sometimes I have the feeling I can do crystal meth, but then I think, mmm... better not.

Aubrey: And I solemnly promise to never have sexual relations with a Treblemaker, or may my vocal cords be ripped out by wolves.

Aubrey: The Trebles don't respect us, and if we let them penetrate us, we are giving them our power.
Fat Amy: Not a good enough reason to use the word 'penetrate'.

Aubrey: We will practice, and I trust you will add your own cardio.
Beca: Why cardio?
Fat Amy: Yeah, no, don't put me down for cardio.

Aubrey: I know you have a toner for Jesse.
Beca: A what?
Aubrey: A toner. A musical boner. I saw it on Hood Night. It's distracting.
Beca: Yeah, that's not a thing, and you're not the boss of me. So...

Aubrey: I can see your toner through those jeans!
Beca: That's my dick!

Beca: Tell me, what does Judd Nelson eat for breakfast?
Jesse: Oh, well, like all misunderstood rebels, he feeds on hypocrisy.
Beca: Sure.
Jesse: And black coffee, to help with his morning dumps.

John: The bad boys of a cappella have just gotten badder!
Gail: Whoo! That's right, John, I'm gonna have to excuse myself to freshen up the downtown.
John: Can I help?

Fat Amy: What up, Shawshank?
Cynthia Rose: Did you get yourself a bitch?
Fat Amy: Did they spray you with a hose?
Lilly: [quietly] I did a turn at County.

Fat Amy: I'm just gonna pump and dump.

Fat Amy: I'm gonna kill him! I'm gonna finish him like a cheesecake!

Fat Amy: You guys are gonna get pitch-slapped so hard, your man boobs are gonna concave.

Lilly: I set fires to fill joy.

Aubrey: Chloe, could you please get your head out of your ass? It's not a hat!
Fat Amy: A-ca-awkward...

Aubrey: If at first you don't succeed, pack your bags.

Cynthia Rose: This is hard for me to admit to you guys.
Fat Amy: Oh, here it comes. Lesbihonest.
Cynthia Rose: But for the past two years, I have had a serious gambling problem.
Fat Amy: Wait... what?
Cynthia Rose: It all started when I broke up with my girlfriend.
Fat Amy: Whoop, there it is!

Lilly: I ate my twin in the womb.

Fat Amy: I'm an open book. For God's sake you guy call me Fat Amy. I guess I'm not really living if I'm not being honest. And my real name is Fat Patricia.

Becca: I've never been one of those girls you had a lot of friends who were girls, and I do now. And that's pretty cool.

Fat Amy: Even though some of you are pretty thin, you all have fat hearts, and that's what matters.

Dawson's Creek: Season One

Joey: You’re born. You die. You make a lot of mistakes in between. Pacey: Hey, I don't talk trash. I recycle it. JOEY: I can't. I can't. 'Cause if I say these things, I can't ever take them back. And it'll change everything, and I can't do that. I can't.

Hart of Dixie: Multiple Characters

Wade: Lemon, another beer.
Lemon: You snap those fingers at me one more time Wade, and I'll swear to God I will chop them off that dainty little hand of yours.

Lavon: Zoe, Wade just text me, he says it's an emergency. You need to go home.
Zoe: As if I 'm gonna fall for that. Nice try Wade. Lavon, text him back and tell him to blow it out his wazoo.

Zoe: Well, do you think you could be done with him by 11?
Joelle: Why?
Zoe: Oh, man, this is awkward. I thought Wade told you. See, all that fighting we do, it's foreplay. Tell Wade I am sorry I let the cat out of the bag. But, still, if you could be done with him by 11 that would be fantastic.

Lavon: I couldn't sleep last night. Saw something that upset me.
Zoe: Was it Wade and Joelle making out on his porch again? That woman kisses like she's eating corn.

Wade: Sometimes I just think you're just the saddest person in the world. You're always looking over your shoulder wondering what life should be instead of taking it for what it is. You're not honest about what makes you happy. You what I'm going to do tonight, I'm going to go home and play video games for two or three hours.
Zoe: Oh, good for you. Dream big.
Wade: What I'm not going to do is beat myself up for playing video games instead of saving the world. If I wanted to save the world, hell, I'll do it tomorrow.
Zoe: If you have time between video games.
Wade: EXACTLY! Cause it's my choice. Just like it was your choice to stay in Bluebell, just like it was your choice to be a G.P. instead of a supersonic space surgeon or whatever. And it was your choice to go to bed with me. Clearly and something about every one of those choices make you happy. The problem is they don't match up with the picture you made up in your head about what your life should be.

George: You know what I'd say Brick, I'd say I'm sorry. That I really am so truly sorry for breaking your daughters heart. The last thing I wanted to do this in the world was hurt her or hurt you. Fact of the matter is, you've been nothing less than a father to me Brick.
Brick: Well, maybe that's why it hurts so much. Lemon's loss, it was my loss too. You were in my family for fifteen years and felt like I was losing a son.

Lemon: [To Brick] Remind the gardener to trim back the roses and re-fertilize the front lawn and pick up your dry cleaning. Don't forget you need to lift and pull up on the dryer door when it get's stuck and-
Brick: I can run my own home...

Zoe: Ever since we become monogamous, we have been sleeping less than ever.
Lavon: No details necessary.

Zoe: Why should you be worried, we’re only colleagues remember?
Ethan: Zoe, look.
Zoe: What? The way you’re talking to me right now, it’s almost like you’re my dad. That is crazy. Right, Ethan.
Ethan: Okay, I can see that you’re upset.
Zoe: Oh yeah? Well, why should I be upset? Because the one man that I have looked up to my entire life, the man who I thought was my father until eight months ago abandoned me, stopped returning my phone calls without any explanation as to why, turned me into the kind of girl who was so desperate for affection she doesn’t know how to be in a relationship with men!
Ethan: Look, I didn’t know you were angry.
Zoe: Of course, I’m angry! I have every right to be. Okay? I don’t want to be your freaking friend. Alright? I would rather go back to having no relationship with you at all than having some crappy fake one. So if you have nothing else to say to me, why don’t you go back to New York?

Wade: Hey guys, isn’t my girlfriend great? I mean, kind, generous, beautiful, and I mean, a firecracker in the sack.
Zoe: I’m the town doctor, you can’t just – Hey I suppose though, its beneficial for the people to know that I have a healthy sex life. We all should.
Wade: She’s like the mayor of pound town and city hall is open all day every day.

Zoe: Relationships are hard, especially when you are married to a man who doesn’t shower and hangs out in horse stalls; a man who lets a raccoon eat your very, very, very expensive wooden shoes just to prove a point; a man who borrows things like your buggy and then loses it after drinking too much spirits; a man who conveniently forgets about your romantic orange picking plans when his buddy shows up who on top of it lies to you when said buddy takes him to a strip club! That’s right, a strip club!
Wade: Luckily, my wife is very understanding. She understands, for example, that I was just going to get a beer ‘cause it’s ‘two for one’ at the Fox Trap.
Zoe: A person can only give so much understanding. How can I be in a relationship with someone so immature? You need a babysitter.
Wade: I’m sorry? I’m immature? You’re the one taking relationship advice from a two-hundred year old dead woman.
Zoe: Who was helpful! It was working!
Wade: It was ridiculous, alright! You can’t avoid arguing.
Zoe: Well, we’re not avoiding it now, are we?!
Wade: No ma’am. Where are you – where are you...

Hart of Dixie: Minor Characters

Magnolia: I’d like to butter his biscuit.

Ruby: It's not a job if they don't pay you.

Hart of Dixie: Rose Hattenbarger

Hart of Dixie: Crickett