Cast: [voiceover] Human beings need a lot of things to feel alive. Family, love, sex, but we only need one thing to actually be alive. We need a beating heart. When our heart is threatened, we respond in one of two ways. We either run, or we attack. There’s a scientific term for this: Fight or Flight. It’s instinct, we can’t control it, or can we.
Cristina: If I stab this fork into his thigh, will I get in trouble?
Meredith: Not unless you make it look like an accident.
Cristina: The problem is estrogen.
Meredith: No the problem is tequila.
Cristina: You know I used to be all business and then he goes and gets me pregnant.
Meredith: Stupid boy penises.
Cristina: Oh the hormones. He ruined me. I’m ruined. He turned me into this fat stupid pregnant girl. Who cares? Estrogen
Meredith: Penises. Penises Izzie.
Cristina: Estrogen George.
Alex: What are you pissed about?
Izzie: You look at everything in a skirt.
Alex: I'd look at you in a skirt, something short, maybe school girl. Pleated.
Izzie: If that skirt didn't have a big pair of bouncing boobs attached to it, you'd stop looking.
Alex: You cut 'em off, you build 'em back up. Maybe you get to upgrade. Life goes on.
Izzie: If there was a genetic test for testicular cancer, you think men who tested positive would have this surgery? No, because it's castration. What man would willingly get rid of the part of his anatomy that makes him a man? This woman is having herself castrated. And we book an OR and act like it means nothing. It's not nothing! God, how could you possibly act like it's no big deal? I mean, what if it was me?
Alex: Izzie, you're freaking out. You know that, right?
Izzie: If I was the one with the cancer gene... I mean, what if I showed up tomorrow and my boobs were made of plastic and my skin had aged 10 years and my sex drive had dried up? If it was me, Alex, would you be so fine with it then?
Izzie: Yeah, you'd be really hot to kiss me with tongue then, wouldn't you?
Alex: Here's the thing - I like your rack.
Izzie: God, what is wrong with you? Why do you have to be so... what is wrong with you?
Alex: I like your rack and I'd want them around if I could have them, trust me I would, but it wouldn't be the end of the world if you got rid of them... because really, I'd want you.
George: I'm in hell.
Cristina: I'm the one in hell. Burke's going all Iron Chef in your kitchen. Get your ass back here and save me.
George: I'm in the woods with shotguns and liquor. It's like Deliverance out here.
Cristina: Well, at least you've got liquor. Where does Meredith keep the booze?
George: I don't think she has any.
Cristina: How is that possible? She's a WASP. Liquor is like oxygen to a WASP.
Cristina: Yeah hi, did you bring liquor?
Joe: No, I brought pie. Pumpkin.
Cristina: You're a bartender.
Joe: Did you bring scalpels?
Cristina: Unbelievable, who would do this to themselves?
Bailey: The woman wasn't just in prison, Yang, she was in solitary.
Cristina: She's seriously deranged.
Bailey: You try spending a month locked in a room with no windows, no one to talk to, 23 hours a day, see how deranged she is then.
Cristina: Dr. Bailey, she's a murderer.
Bailey: I didn't say she wasn't. 1, 2, 3. I said try to having no one to make your snarky comments to for a solid month. My guess is you'd swallow the entire razor.
Olivia: I'm not that good at handling leaches.
George: That's not what I heard.
Meredith: It's just funny, I just would never have pegged you for "that guy".
Derek: What guy?
Meredith: You know the "marble bath, private pool, gated community" guy.
Derek: Don't peg me, I'm not peggable.
Meredith: You're pegged, deal with it.
Izzie: I'm telling you, Meredith was all over him.
Cristina: Seriously, she was all over him? What, like mounting him, with all the babies watching? Seriously?
Izzie: Well, she would have been if I hadn't interrupted.
George: She was talking to him.
Izzie: You don't talk to bastards who cheat on their girlfriends, George. That's the rule.
George: You weren't officially his girlfriend.
Izzie: That's not the point.
George: It is kind of the point. You don't see me getting all emotional over people I'm not dating.
Izzie: Really? You want to go there?
George: No.
Izzie: I'm having a moment here. Don't mess with me.
George: You're not gonna have a nervous breakdown and kill yourself are you?
George: No.
Cristina: So there's no chance you'll kill us?
George: Oh, that was wrong on so many levels.
Cristina: And so good.
George: That was. That was good.
George: I can't hear you when his hand is on your boob.
Cristina: Take your hand off my boob, Alex.
Preston: I believe there's a mind-body-spirit connection. And if Justin really doesn't want this heart, his body will reject it.
Cristina: Okay, let me get this straight. You don't just celebrate Christmas... you actually believe in Santa Claus?
Izzie: He cheated on me with George's skanky syph nurse!
George: That is just plain rude!
Meredith: We know, he cheated on you! That's why we let you turn the living room into Santa's freaking Village.
Izzie: What?
Meredith: We're not big on holidays. You know that. We're trying to be supportive because you're having a hard time. But right now, Alex, he's having a harder time.
Izzie: Why does everyone care what kind of time Alex is having?
Meredith: Because he's dirty Uncle Sal.
Cristina: Sorry?
George: You lost me.
Meredith: Dirty Uncle Sal. Who embarrasses everyone at family reunions, and who can't be left alone with the teenage girls, but you invite him to the picnic anyway.
Cristina: Sorry, what?
George: Still lost.
Meredith: I have a mother who doesn't recognize me. As far as family goes, this hospital, you guys are it. So, I know you're pissed at Alex, but, maybe you could try to help him anyway. Sort of like the spirit of this holiday you keep shoving down everybody's throats.
Cristina: You...
George: What?
Cristina: "Boob"?
Cristina: McSexy?
Izzie: McYummy?
Meredith: McSteamy.
Denny: I don't sleep in hospitals, scared I'll never wake up. Can I ask you something personal?
Izzie: And if I say no?
Denny: I'll hold my breath which will stop my heart, killing me. You're right here, you'll be charged with murder, lifetime in prison being loved by a big ol' girl named Hildy.
Izzie: So my choices are homicide charges or inappropriate questions from a patient?
Denny: I know, kinda sucks.
Izzie: You know what, hold your breath. I'll take my chances with Hildy. I can do girl on girl.
Denny: Oh so you bring up girl on girl. How can I blackmail you when you bring up girl on girl?
Izzie: What do you want to know?
Denny: That guy Alex, you with him?
Izzie: No, not anymore and never ever again.
Denny: Good.
Izzie: Good?
Denny: Yeah good. Means I won't have to fight him for ya.
Izzie: What makes you think I want you to fight him for me?
Denny: Hello? You are in love with me.
Izzie: Am I?
Denny: Yeah, it’s not your fault. I mean I’m well off but not into money. I’m smart but I’m not a know-it-all. I’m funny. I’m really nice. I love animals. And I’m hot. I’m a catch. You know if you can wrap your head around the large unfeeling heart and the dependency to IV meds.
Izzie: You’re right. I am so in love with you. It’s a shame really, since I’m with Hildy and all.
Bailey: Epidural increases the possibility of a seizure.
Addison: And also decreases pain.
Denny: You didn’t tell me we were playing naughty word scrabble.
Izzie: We’re not playing naughty word, you just have a dirty mind.
Denny: You’re the one that put down ‘screw’
Izzie: I was referring to hardware, not sex.
Denny: Woman I’m beating the pants off you, what the hell are you doing?
Izzie: I am knitting a sweater. Actually Meredith, that’s my friend, the friend that broke George, she is knitting a sweater. She’s not really knitting a sweater because she cannot knit, but I want her to think she is knitting a sweater because she and I took a celibacy vow so now she’s replacing sex with knitting, and so I am knitting pieces of Meredith’s sweater so that I can switch them out with hers so that she can really believe she is knitting because if anybody needs to be celibate it’s Meredith because she broke George, you know.
Denny: You took a vow of celibacy? How am I supposed to get in your pants if you took a vow of celibacy?
Izzie: That is a very inappropriate thing to say to your doctor.
Denny: Do you know what’s inappropriate? Promising sexual favors to a patient in order to get him to live and then back out.
Meredith: Explain? You know when you should have explained? The night we met in the bar, before any of the rest of it. Yeah, that would have been a good time to discuss it.
Derek: Look I know how you feel.
Meredith: Do you? Because somehow I doubt that. Because if you did, you would shut up, and you would turn around and go back inside, because you would realize that I am this close to getting in my car and running you down in the parking lot!
Cristina: He was lying. Besides your 'harsh' is another man’s 'refreshing'.
Derek: Well he’s in shock. The man’s lost his fingers and his only remaining habit in one day. We need to be compassionate.
Cristina: Compassionate?
Derek: Yeah. It’s an emotion. Have you ever heard of it?
Cristina: Oh, have you? She’s barely back on her feet and you’ve got her calling you Mc Dreamy again. You know I was just telling the patient the truth. So you might want to try it sometime.
Cristina: You know in the movies, how there's always the hero and then there's the other guy? You know, the guy who sees danger, and then runs in the opposite direction?
Burke: Yes.
Cristina: Be the other guy.
George: Another sleepless night in Seattle.
Izzie: Yeah, who was it this time? Hairy back guy?
George: You now who I miss? Inappropriate facial hair guy. You know, he did his own dishes.
Izzie: Tattooed ass guy made coffee.
George: Yeah, he was a keeper.
George: Oh he's new.
Izzie: Oh, I shall name him, Running Guy.
George: You know who I heard Alex come home with last night. You.
Izzie: I don't want to talk about it. Actually I really do want to talk about it, but he doesn't want to talk about it because there were technical difficulties.
George: Hey aren’t you supposed to be having free time?
Meredith: Oh, I did 5 loads of laundry. Cut my split ends, studied, cleaned out the fridge. Free time sucks.
George: When would it have been the right time to hear about your boyfriend’s wife?
Meredith: Okay are you mad at me or something?
George: No! No. Sorry. It’s just I have this patient and I get that there’s a right and a wrong time to hear big news but wouldn’t you rather no sooner than later? I mean just so you could move forward one way or the other. It’s a fresh start, right?
Meredith: You are a great guy. You are a wonderful guy. And you may even be the better guy. But -
Finn: He’s the one.
Meredith: And I wish he wasn’t.
Cristina: Did you just say something? Did you just speak? Oh, Meredith... okay, Mer, I can't understand you. Just try... try again, try again for me, okay? What? I can't... come on, please... please don't be... Your brain works, okay? So all you need to do is form a word. Please.
Meredith: Ouch.
Cristina: Oh... hi! I'm getting married to Burke! Not that that should be anywhere on your list of thoughts right now, but just in case you slip it in the hall later... you are the one person I wanted to tell. Thank you for not dying.
George: It’s just that she’s Izzie. She’s blond, she’s stacked, she’s super model. And I’m George.
Callie: So what does that make me?
George: No, come on. You’re gorgeous. And you’re curvy. I never thought you’d go for me.
George: I got married and I’m scared it was a bad idea.
Izzie: Nobody got married and didn’t think that at least once.
Izzie: I had sex last night. With the wrong person. But the thing is, it didn't feel wrong; at the time. It felt like; something was falling into place. So what do I do?
Addison: What am I? The go to person for adultery?
Izzie: No. Just, I just don't know what to do.
Addison: You stop. That's what you do.
Izzie: Are you sure? I mean, how do you know that it didn't feel so right because.... It's God's plan.
Addiso: God wants you to be an adulterer?
Izzie: God got a virgin pregnant by magic. God is not playing by the rules.
Katie Bryce: I can't sleep, my head feels full.
Meredith: It's called thinking. Go with it.
Izzie: George, can you maybe stop talking so I can concentrate?
George: What's your problem?
Izzie: My problem is you. You're my penis fish.
George: Your what?
Izzie: You've crawled in, and latched on. And now I can't move, or talk, or think, or even pee without the nagging feeling that something is eating through my organs.
George: You don't even have a penis! How am I the fish?
Izzie: It's a metaphor, George.
George: What happened to us being fine?
Izzie: I don't know. Maybe we're not.
Violet: Therapy sucks.
Pete: Says the therapist.
V: My particular brand of therapy might actually be full of crap. People talking about their problems endlessly, telling people to think positively, visualize their destiny.
P: And it doesn’t work?
V: I think positively, I visualize my destiny, and look, just look…
P: What am I looking at?
V: Me. My pathetic, miserable existence. He left six months ago. He was a loser! Do you know he peed a little bit every time he coughed, like an incontinent old woman, he smelled like pee. And there I was in the car crying. I’m a serious feminist. Not to mention my no-sex couple. Turns out it was a hormone thing. It’s physical. In the old days, we would have talked and talked and talked as things would become simpler. My profession is becoming irrevelant. Maybe it’s a good thing.
P: People should just tell the truth to the people in their lives.
V: They can’t. If they could, we’d all be healthy.
P: Like me.
V: You’re not healthy, you’re in denial.
P: I am not in denial.
V: You’re in denial. You’re angry. You’re the angriest man I know.
P: Is that why you won’t sleep with me?
V: You’re in denial, you’re angry, and you use sex as a weapon to deflect it.
Cristina: Is the toilet paper cutting off your circulation?
Meredith: You marrying Burke is about restoring my faith in me.
Cristina: Oh, my wedding is about you.
Bailey: You’re getting married in less than 12 hours.
Cristina: Burke’s getting married too and he gets to operate.
Bailey: There’s only one Preston Burke.
Cristina: There’s only one Cristina Yang.
Bailey: I’ve given you the day off, the whole day. It’s a kindness. Take it, it’s your wedding day. There will always be more surgeries. Really, what would you rather be doing? Prepping a patient or prepping for your wedding?! Go home.
George: Poor guy just wanted to climb a mountain and he ends up with an axe in his head.
Derek: Well he shouldn’t of tried turning back. The group is going on, you move with the group.
George: He panicked. You have a right to turn back if you’re scared.
Callie: If I were you I would think long and hard because you cannot afford to lose another friend, not when people around keep…
Izzie: Keep dropping like fries, is that what you’re going to say?
Izzie: I can’t lie about how I feel.
George: Actually you can. People lie all the time. They hold their tongues and they wait. You should hold your tongue because by if I’m not making a mistake you’re going to look like a jerk and I am, I’m going to need you. I need you. And you keep taking that away.
Sloan: These interns are out of control.
Callie: Stalkers.
Sloan: Sexed-up stalkers.
Callie: And if we stay strong…
Sloan: And don’t get drunk…
Callie: And keep staring at Joe, we’ll be fine.
Addison: Some men do. Some men use other women.
Derek: Some women use men.
Izzie: You say… they have a choice. They can run away and hide from it, or they can face it. You say they need to be around the people who love them because it’s gonna be the toughest fight of their life and no one should do it alone. And then you give htem the odds, and even though five percent survival rate is bad, it’s really bad, and then you say… you say…
Lexie: Screw the odds. People die of the hiccups. The odds mean crap, so people should face it, they should fight it.
Becca, patient: Today’s the day my life begins. Today I become a citizen of the world. Today I become a role model. Today I become accountable to someone other than myself and my parents, accountable for more than my grades. Today I become accountable to the world, to the feature, to all the possibilities that life has to offer. Starting today. My job is to show up, wide eyed, and willing, and ready. For what? I don’t know. For anything. For everything. To take on life. To take on love. To take on the responsibility and possibility. Today my friend, our lives begin. And I, for one, can’t wait.
George: So how do you break a guy’s penis?
Meredith: Why does every guy I meet come with his own unique set of nightmarish humiliations?
Sloan: This may come as a shock to you. But it looks like I’m the respectful adult in this situation. So why don’t you talk to her about how she treats people?
Bailey: If it does go to that, do I sleep over?
Callie: No, no. Sex on the couch. Walk of shame to the car under a cover of darkness.
Bailey: Do I wear a dress?
Callie: Uh, uh, casual. Like you don’t expect it to happen but you’re ready for it to happen.
Bailey: Oh how ready?
Callie: Like you’ve prepped the surgical field.
Meredith: I think I mentioned sleeping with Alex was a bad idea.
Lexie: No, it’s not a bad idea, it’s happy and easy. Do you know how much mental energy Mark took up? And I’m telling you, ending it was the best thing. Do you know how much happier he would be if he could just move on?
Hunt: She’s my friend and Mark Sloan is a public health hazard.
Meredith: It took a long time to make her happy and she’s finally happy. And if you mess with that, I will turn on you. That’s a team.
Callie: You took down three guys by yourself.
Lady Officer, patient: A girl’s gotta do what she’s gotta do. You know what I mean?
Meredith: You had dirty sex with Owen Hunt?
Yang: No it’s not dirty, it’s not sex. It’s… I don’t know what it is.
Yang: I have five rules, memorize them. Rule number one, don’t bother sucking up, I already hate you, that’s not going to change.
Izzie: Trauma protocols, phone lists, pagers. The nurses will page you, you answer every page at a run. A run. That’s rule number two. You’re supposed to follow me.
Alex: Your first shift starts now and lasts 36 hours. Your grunts, nobodies, the bottom of the surgical food chain. You run labs, write orders, and work every second and night until you’re off. And you don’t complain.
Meredith: On-call room, sleep when you can, where you can. You know, but not with anybody. Not attendings, especially not attendings. Sleep with attendings, not a good idea. Where was I?
George: Rule number three, if the patient’s not dying, don’t wake you.
Yang: The patient better not be dead when I get there because not only will you have killed someone but you will have woken me for no good reason. Are we clear? Yes?
Lexie: That was four rules, you said five.
Yang: Rule number five, when I move, you move. Go!
Sloan: Dr. Bailey, what’s the first thing that comes to mind when I say ‘gentlemen’s evening?’
Bailey: Tassels. Shiny, sequined tassels and one dollar bills.
George: I got married on the spur of the moment. I don’t have a brain tumor.
Meredith: That you know of.
Mark: I'm thinking we ought to have a little contest of our own.
Derek: You wanna live in the hospital like a roach?
Mark: Different kind of contest. You and Rose, you're not exclusive right? So I'm thinking.
Derek: You are not serious.
Mark: One woman 10 points, two women same time 20 points. You get out in the morning before anybody wakes up; 5 point bonus.
Derek: You are serious.
Mark: You need a little spice in your life, man. I'm just trying to help.
Derek: I am truly a worse human being for knowing you.
Miranda Bailey: I thought you told me to keep the animals under control!?
Richard Webber: From time to time, I like to go to the zoo.
Mark: I don't like her. I'm sorry, but as your friend it's my job to say I don't like Rose.
Derek: Why?
Mark: You're not even sleeping with her.
Derek: You don't like her 'cause she's not sleeping with me? That's a little weird.
Mark: It's not weird.
Derek: It's a little weird.
Mark: Hey, if you were sleeping with Rose, I could understand why you're spending time with her, but you're not. And it's... it's just I thought that uh... you know. I thought it was just gonna be you and me!
Derek: Having sex?
Mark: After! After Addison, after Meredith. I have been patient. I have waited when you partnered up with these chicks, but now they're over. And it's supposed to be just us! You and me; two guys on the prowl, on the hunt.
Derek: You're having trouble getting laid. And you need my help.
Mark: I can get laid. I can get laid whenever I want. I DO get laid whenever I want. That's the point. Women are everywhere... I only have one person I can talk to.
Derek: That's sweet.
Mark: Shut up!
Derek: No, it's really warm and fuzzy.
Meredith: No, we screw boys like whores on tequila.
Cristina: And then we either try to marry them or drown ourselves.
Meredith: Hey, you're leaving already?
Addison: I have a plane to catch...I walk on the beach now, I buy aromatherapy candles, I'm very Zen, but I want to kick your ass so badly right now it is killing me.
Meredith: Excuse me?
Addison: I'm talking about Derek. Derek Christopher Shepherd. Are you letting him get away? Because I swear to God Meredith, if you let him ride off into the sunset with that doe-eyed little thing...
Miranda: Just wanted to drop off the form myself... answer any questions you might have.
Richard: There are interns on this form.
Miranda: Mmm hmm. I require the energy of youth. Dr. Shepherd was a moment of weakness for both of us.
Richard: Dr. Sloan?
Miranda: Oh that was many moments. On call rooms. It was... very hot.
Richard: Alright, Dr. Bailey, I get the joke.
Miranda: See this is a joke to you. I am a single woman. I've been a single woman for some time now, but the very idea that I could have a sexual encounter - a consensual sexual encounter - is a joke to you!
Richard: Dr. Bailey, I...
Miranda: So much so that you would single me out of this entire hospital as the one person who couldn't interest a person of the opposite sex... it's ... it's ... just...
Adele: It's harassment.
Richard: Adele!
Miranda: Just shame on you sir!
Mark: The most refined, professional, lady-like doctor in this hospital came to my defense tonight. Best she could come up with was "he's a whore." I’m a whore.
Derek: I slept with her... and the whole time I was thinking of Meredith... who's the whore?
Meredith: It was a good day.
Dr. Wyatt: Look, I'm just going to say this because your insurance only covers 20 sessions and I feel we should get right to the point. That was a load of crap. It was not a good day, your patient died alone unable to tell the love of his life how he felt.
Meredith: Yeah, but he did it for his boyfriend. I mean, I actually think it was kind of heroic.
Dr. Wyatt: It's a load of crap.
Meredith: Stop saying that!
Dr. Wyatt: Look, let me draw the parallels for you. The tragic patient dies alone while the love of his life is literally in the next room. That's you.
Meredith: What are you talking about? I'm not dying alone.
Dr. Wyatt: Oh. But I think you are, and you're telling yourself you're a hero, when in reality all you are is alone.
Meredith: THAT is a load of crap!
Dr. Wyatt: He's with Rose.
Meredith: You know what, I'm not going to do this.
Dr. Wyatt: He's with Rose.
Meredith: WHY DO YOU KEEP SAYING THAT?!?
Dr. Wyatt: Because if you can't see what is wrong with that sentence, ‘He's with Rose,’ we're never going to get anywhere, He's with Rose.
Meredith: OKAY! So he's with Rose. SO WHAT?!
Dr. Wyatt: If he's with Rose that means he's not with you. And do you know why he's not with you? You're scared.
Meredith: Are you calling me a coward?
Dr. Wyatt: I think you are very frightened Dr. Grey.
Meredith: Are you calling me a coward?
Dr. Wyatt: What do you think?
Meredith: I don’t quit things.
Dr. Wyatt: Well actually you do. You mother quit your father. Your father quit you. You quit your boyfriend. And if I read your hospital chart correctly, you quit your life momentarily on a couple of occasions. You quit, it’s what you know how to do.
Dr. Wyatt: What happened last year when you fell in the water?
Meredith: I almost drowned. Do you think I did that for kicks?
Dr. Wyatt: You put your hand in a body cavity that contained unexploded ammunition.
Meredith: I was trying to save a patient!
Dr. Wyatt: Why is it that every other person in that room had the sense to hit the deck? You know people run away from this line between life and death. You seem to stand on it and wait for a strong wind to sway you one way or the other. You’re careless with your life. You’re not slitting your wrists but you’re careless. Probably because your mother told you you were a waste of space on this planet. The problem is you believed her. And if you don’t want out one of these days you’re going to die because of it.
Meredith: Hand me my chart. NOW! And don't ever talk about my mother again.
Meredith: Where have you been?! I've been waiting and waiting for you! And I did this stupid, embarrassing, humiliating, corny thing. And I was just gonna tell you that, this over here is our kitchen and this is our living room, and over there that's the room our kids could play. I had this whole thing about I was gonna build us a house, but I don't build houses because I'm a surgeon. And now I'm here feeling like a lame ass loser. I got all whole and healed and you don't show up. And now it's all ruined because you took so long to come home! And I couldn't even find that bottle of champagne...
Derek: It's the kitchen? Living room - a little small. The view's much better from here. And that's where the kids are going to play? Where's our bedroom?
Meredith: I'm still mad at you and I don't know if I trust you, I wanna trust you, but I don't know if I do. So I'm just gonna try, I'm gonna try and trust you. Because I believe that, we can be extraordinary together. Rather than ordinary apart and I wanna be...
Derek: I have to go.
Meredith: What?
Derek: In order to kiss you the way I wanna kiss you and in order to do more than kiss you I need to speak to Rose. I want my conscience clear so I can do more than kiss you. Stay here. Don't move. Wait for me.
Sloan: You’re an intern. Why are you talking to me?
Lexie: You’re my half sister’s boyfriend’s best friend.
Richard: You don't know how to do anything. None of you. You're half way through your 2nd year of residency and you walk around this hospital like it's your God given right to be here. Well it is not, Dr. Grey. I assure you. You are here because I allow it. You are here to do what i say. And the one thing I ask you to do you can't even save...
Derek: Richard! We can't save everybody.
Richard: We should try harder. We should try harder.
Mark: You're never at a loss for words with your patients. You don’t seem to have any trouble telling me how you feel. So why not tell O'Malley.
Lexie: You are the last person who should be giving romantic advice.
Mark: When I like somebody I make sure they know it. Life's too short to live any other way.
Lexie: What if he doesn't like me back?
Mark: He's an idiot.
Richard: I also heard a story that you constructed an O.R. table from an exploded Humvee in the middle of the desert, is that true?
Owen: Well, you have to be innovative in the middle of the desert.
Richard: You have to be innovative everywhere. How would you like a job, Dr. Hunt?
Owen: I... appreciate the offer, but I have to go back to the sand pit. Finish my tour.
Lexie: Were you in love with her?
George: I thought I was. I was scared to admit it but I did not that she did not like me that way, and... I did it anyway. I shouldn't have, because, besides just being... so selfish, I take advantage in that way to want her to want me like that, when clearly she… Like I said I made a lot of mistakes last year, but I'm trying to get back on track, and I gotta do it by myself, so...
Lexie: The only reason I wanted to help is that, um, I... I feel like you and I are more than just ... roommates.
George: We are more than just roommates.
Lexie: We are?
George: Yeah we're friends ... I mean right now I'd probably say you're one of my best friends.
Callie: I'm not an experimenter. I don't like to experiment.
Erica: Oh.
Callie: Then you showed up and we did it together and... the experiment was kind of a success!
Erica: Oh... oh!
Callie: Look, I've never done this before. I've never kissed a girl. I'm not sure I even like kissing girls. I don't, actually, like kissing girls. I just like kissing one girl. You.
Erica: I don't have anything to compare it with. You're the only woman I've ever kissed.
Callie: This kinda makes us virgins, doesn't it.
Erica: I guess in a way it does!
Callie: Vir-gins. Hey, we can be scared together.
Erica: Kinda virgins. And yeah, we can be scared together.
Meredith: If I'm going to do this, and be whole and healthy and be a warm, gooey person who lives with a boy... I need you. I need you on board. I need you to cheer me on. Because you're the only one who knows me. Darkly. Really knows me. I need you to pretend that I can do this even if you don't believe. Because if you abandon me now, I will never make it, and I will never get my happy ending and that's just...
Cristina: Life.
Meredith: I'm saying please here.
Cristina: I think you and Derek will make it. You will make it work.
Meredith: Are you just telling me what I wanna hear?
Cristina: I'm your person. I am on your side.
Derek: It’s a zoo. A frat house. Alex and his parade of women.
Izzie: His parade of skanks.
Lexie: Our guy's been in pain. Pain at a constant 8, for the last seven years, because of an inflamed nerve in his nose. It's crazy.
George: I wish I had an inflamed nerve in my nose.
Cristina: There's no way that guy has been living at an 8. He's a wimp. His 8? My 3. I can take pain.
Meredith: You can't talk to my boyfriend for 10 minutes.
Cristina: Well there's pain and then there's torture.
Miranda: They got the nerve to be indignant that they aren't on their specialties anymore. They don't have specialties! They should be grateful they're even allowed in this... Are you listening to me?!
Callie: I'm going on a date with Erica Hahn. It's awkward. Because she's a colleague and because she's an attending and because she's a... she. There's been kissing, but... no touching and what if I'm not into it? What if I'm horrible at all that stuff... south... of the border. I've never been south of the border. With a female. I mean, I've never even been over the ... northern mountains, if you know what I'm saying.
Miranda: I don't talk about sex.
Callie: Please. Let's just pretend I never said a single word.
Miranda: I don't talk about sex with anyone, ever. Any kind of sex.
Callie: Bailey I am begging you...
Miranda: Shhhh!!! The va-jay-jay is undiscovered country. It is the mother land. You've never traveled there... You don't know its customs and ways. Now me? I've always wanted to go to Africa. But if I go, I'm going to have to learn a few things first. I'm going to have to prepare. I'll need shots. Bring my own syringes, in case something goes wrong. And I'll wanna know how to get to the embassy.
Callie: Okay now you've lost me.
Miranda: Just talk about it. Not with me, with the other one. Talk about the rules, the expectations; figure out how to gracefully dinner if you find that you don’t like the… local cuisine. In Ethiopia, they eat stew of spongy, sour bread. That's not for everyone!
George: Izzie, in the wild Wild West, there is a woman in the saloon and no one messes with her even though they all have guns.
Izzie: She’s a prostitute. The woman in the saloon is a whore, George.
George: No, she just has other skills she uses to make her way in the world. So just, use what you got.
Alex: You stole my surgery!
Izzie: Using me as a doormat is one thing. Screwing with my career is another! I have been wiping your snot and covering your ass for weeks now. And all you've done is abuse me. And for a little while you get to do that because you're heartbroken and pathetic, and I'm a good friend. But it ends now. Get your own surgery and wipe your own snot.
Callie: We need to have rules.
Erica: What?
Callie: Rules. We need rules about how we're going to deal with the motherland. Because it's undiscovered country. Maybe... maybe it will be the best vacation either of us have ever had, but it's mysterious, and dark, and there should be rules. Oh, and an embassy. And a safe word.
Erica: I'm sorry. What the hell are you talking about?
Callie: Below the Mason-Dixon line. Of your pants! I'm not sure I'm ready to go there.
Erica: Me neither! There's lots of undiscovered territory above the belt. We can take it slow. Maybe, just... first base?
Callie: Okay. Phew. Thank you. Sorry.
Erica: Finish my wine. I'm going to look at the menu for a minute while your blood pressure drops back down to normal.
Callie: Erica? Maybe second base too.
Izzie: Maybe he just cares about his son but the moron is too emotionally stunted to let him.
Alex: See, this, this right here is your problem. You get all wrapped up and involved and you start caring about these people! Your patient in there? He's the moron. His son's never gonna give him what he wants and he's just gonna be disappointed! And the sooner he gets that the sooner you get it, and ...
Izzie: No, go on please. Be a selfish ass. Because then at least I know what to expect. This whole 'be a nice guy one minute and a total jerk the next' is getting really old, Alex. So who's it gonna be? Pick one.
Callie: I do not quit. I do not fail. I like to be good at things, and I wanna be good... at this. So... I need you. I need you, to show me.
Mark: Show you?
Callie: Just because you don't publish a big clinical trial doesn't mean you're not a genius.
Mark: Fine. Take off your pants.
Derek: I'm not gonna do this with you.
Meredith: Do what?
Derek: Have this silent fight. I'm gonna write to the editors and have them print a correction. The Shepherd-Grey Method.
Meredith: I don't want you to give me credit because you're mad that I'm mad. I want you to give me credit because you think I worked hard for it and I deserve it.
Derek: You don't deserve it. You're a baby. You have the potential to be a good surgeon. Maybe a great one. But you haven't even scratched the surface on what you need to learn.
Meredith: It was my idea. And I hate that picture!
Derek: Dr. Bailey. I heard your big surgery went well today. Congratulations.
Miranda: The same to you. It must feel good to see your name in print like that.
Derek: It would feel better if Meredith wasn't so... you know. She's acting silly about the credit. She's getting emotional.
Miranda: That girl worked her ass off for you and you got all the credit.
Derek: I would have gotten all the blame had we failed.
Miranda: But you didn't fail.
Derek: It's simple, I'm an attending... she's a second-year resident.
Miranda: Who you're now living with. That's not simple, it's messy. If it were me, I'd start with thank you. You'd be surprised how far that one goes. Especially with us silly emotional women.
Cristina: Oh that is a kidney in a jar, that's not fair, how did you get that?
Derek: Being an incredibly important fancy neurosurgeon has it's perks.
Meredith: Thank you.
Derek: I couldn't have done it without you. One surgery, one patient, I couldn't have done any of it without you. Thanks.
Izzie: I care about you, and I'm not gonna go crazy, and I'm not gonna try to kill myself and I'm not gonna stop caring about you no matter how hard you push me away.
Alex: Shut up and get outta my room.
Izzie: And I know you care about me too and it's not too late for us.
Alex: Get outta my room.
Izzie: Admit it. I know you care about me too I know you do. I care about you. I care about you. I care about you. I care about you. I care about you!
Alex: What's wrong with you?
Izzie: What's wrong with me? We've been sleeping together for a week and already you're bored. I am hot! And great in bed. So what is wrong with you?
Alex: I didn't say I was bored. I just asked whether I should keep sleeping with Michelle. I'm asking if you're all in! What's so wrong with that?
Izzie: You're a barbarian. How can I be all-in with an actual barbarian?
Alex: Fine. Holly in radiology thinks I have a hot ass. I'll tap that next.
Izzie. You do that.
Erica: Don't get emotional Bailey. No one likes a girl who gets emotional.
Miranda: Still. I’d like you on my team.
Izzie: You want lessons, huh?
Alex: I want lessons.
Izzie: Okay. You start with 'Isobel Stevens, you are staggeringly good in bed. You are amazingly smart, wonderfully funny, and you care about animals.'
Alex: That's where I start?
Izzie: Yeah. And then you say 'Do you wanna go steady with me?'
Alex: That's what I would say if it was 1952.
Izzie: Alex? Do you wanna go steady with me?
Alex: If that's what you want, I mean yeah, whatever.
Alex: I'm not good at this. I'm not good at ... relationships or talking about stupid feelings. And you are, so maybe you could teach me or something. Tell me where I go wrong.
Izzie: You don't want us to see other people. You don't want us to see other people and that's how you tried to tell me! By asking if it was cool if you screw Michelle.
Owen: What's his name? I was wondering if you found out his name so that he would become a person to you. They're all people, you know. This is not a game or a competition, who gets surgeries and who doesn't. They're people and we get to save them. Now you're good. You're excellent and you can win all the contests. But if that's why you're doing this then you shouldn't be. Did you find out his name?
Cristina: My dad died when I was nine. In a car accident, I was with him in the car. While we waited for the ambulance, I tried to keep his chest closed, so he wouldn't bleed so much. When he died, my hands felt his heart stop beating. That's why I do this. It's also why I win all the contests. The patient's name is Tom.
Sloan: These interns are out of control.
Callie: Stalkers.
Sloan: Sexed up stalkers.
Callie: We’re like addicts, right. We need a twelve-step program.
Sloan: I’m not going to a meeting to discuss my obsession with my best friend’s girlfriend’s half-sister.
Callie: No, it’ll just be us. We’ll be each other’s sponsors. Make sure we stay on the program.
Sloan: What are the steps?
Callie: Don’t get naked with an intern. It’s more of a one-step program.
Izzie: What did he do to get on Death Row? Did he mow down a bunch of people with a machine gun?
Yang: Probably found his wife in bed with a hooker or a handyman.
Izzie: They don’t give you the death penalty for crimes of passion. People understand that.
Meredith: All crimes are crimes of passion. There’s always a reason. People don’t do stuff like that because they forget it’s illegal.
Chuck, patient: Do you know what it’s like to have everyone you know literally look down on you? Or what it’s like to ask for help from a teenager at the grocery store ‘cause you can’t reach the top shelf? I’ve gone on two dates in the last six months, both I’ve met with women over the internet. But hey, no one wants to see me again because no one wants to date the short guy! I wanted those two inches, Gary, I wanted them so bad.
Gary: It’s two inches. What’s the difference between 5’3” and 5’5”?
Chuck: 5’5” you can say out loud.
Mrs. Shepherd: Mark, you’ve been avoiding me. You have that same guilty face on that you did when you were ten years old and you put Derek’s favorite frog into the microwave.
Sloan: I never pushed start.
Sloan: Pain and agony for a little bit of pleasure. I get it.
Callie: If it’s that bad then why don’t you stop doing what you’re doing?
Sloan: Because it doesn’t feel bad when I’m doing it. It’s good. It’s great. And maybe if you weren’t so scared of getting burned you’d do the same thing.
Callie: You know, I used to walk tall around here. I used to walk tall. Then, came George. He took off at least an inch. Then Erica came and left me that shaved off a few more. I got shorter. All that humiliation, I got shorter.
Alex: What is wrong with you? We just took a liver and an intestine from a little kid, a dead little kid. And you don’t even care. You’re talking about rainbows, and relationships and crap. What the hell is wrong with you?
Arizona: You don’t think that I know that they just pulled the plug on a kid? You don’t think that I get that? You don’t think I know about the tiny, tiny coffin they’re going to stick him in? I know about the tiny coffins. I see them all the time, in my sleep. So if you don’t mind, I’m going to keep talking relationships and rainbows and crap, and I’m going to make plans for tomorrow. Because that’s what you do Karev, you make plans. You have to. You turn your back on the tiny coffin and you face forward, to the next kid.
Mrs. Shepherd: You have very low expectations for yourself, Mark Sloan, since you were a little boy, you’ve always had. And it’s time to raise them.
Sloan: She’s 24.
Mrs. Shepherd: You have the emotional maturity of a horny fifteen year old. You need young.
Chuck: I am under 5’3”. I am 5’2” and three quarters. But hey, maybe I can squeeze by the height requirement at the amusement park.
Gary: Do you know why I never played varsity basketball?
Chuck: Because you didn’t make the team?
Gary: No, I never tried out for the team because I didn’t want to make you feel bad for being too short to play. Even now, if I have a bad day, I can’t even talk to my own brother about it because maybe you had a bad day and you’re short! I couldn’t even get depressed about Laurie leaving me because you don’t have a girlfriend and you’re short! And by the way, the reason you don’t have a girlfriend, it’s not because you’re short. It’s ‘cause all you ever do is talk about being short! No one knows how short you are except for you, dude. No one cares.
Chuck: I’m an ass, aren’t I?
Gary: Yeah, and you’re short.
Sloan: He is proposing to her. That makes little her, his little sister. And I can’t sleep with any more of his sisters. And she’s young and I’m her boss.
Callie: And I’m celebate.
Sloan: What does that have to do with anything?
Callie: Celibacy is lonely. Don’t spend all your time wondering what you are, or who you like or whether it’s right for you or wrong for you. Just let yourself be happy, before you find yourself alone. Celebate.
Dixon: Cows are squeezed tightly in a chute before they’re slaughtered. The chute applies intense pressure resulting in decreased post rate metabolic rate and muscle tone.
Bailey: It calms them down.
Dixon: It calms them down. The same principles apply to people like me. A hugging machine is used to relax the nervous system. It slows the heart. This is good, it’s working.
Naomi: Our eyes met over the cadaver. And I knew I had to have her.
Archer: Has his micro valve grown too thick?
Naomi: Is that what made our cadaver so sick?
Sloan: Right now, I’m battling a rapid heart rate, also feeling a little flush. I don’t even want to mention what’s going on beneath the belt.
Lexie: Hey, no I don’t do dirty secret flirting with you anymore. Okay, I told you, if you want to go public with me, with us, then I’ll do dirty public flirting. I mean, I will flirt, publicly, not dirtily. Maybe a little dirtily.
Naomi and Sam: Had the micro valve grown too thick? Is that what made the cadaver so sick?
Addison: Addison Montgomery, he met her in the summery.
Derek: Summery? I’d never used summery as a noun. I met her in the summer, she.
Naomi: She was cutting up a very dead body.
Sam: And in her eyes I saw my life
Naomi and Sam: I knew that she would be my wife. And she would breathe the life back into me. From every day until eternity.
Sam: Or until I’d be as dead as that body.
Izzie: You say, they have a choice. They can run away and hide from it or thay can face it. You say they need to be around the people that love them because it’s going to be the toughest fight of their life and non one should have to do it alone. And then you give them the odds. And even though 5% survival rate is bad, it’s really bad, you say, you say…
Lexie: Screw the odds. People die of the hiccups. My mother died of the hiccups. And survival rate for that is, what, 100%. The odds are that she should be alive right now. The odds are that the odds mean crap. So people should face it and they should fight. Maybe not those words.
Izzie: No. Exactly those words.
Lexie: Yes, the odds are against us. I’m a one woman wrecking ball. All I do is break you: your hand, your penis, your relationships, your life. I’d say our survival rate is 3%. And that’s bad but it’s not nothing. And I don’t think we should give up on this, at least not yet.
Sloan: You think you broke me Little Grey? You’re the one that put me back together.
Bailey: You don’t have to know him. You’re both surgeons. You’ve been through the same war. Just remind him that we’ve all been there, we all came back.
Callie: You’re kinda a bully, you know that?
Bailey: I wouldn’t do it if it didn’t work so well.
Sloan: You put the Berlin Wall up around Lexie.
Derek: Meredith asked me to. That’s what people do when someone they care about asks them to do something. They do it, which is what you should have done when I asked you to stay away from Lexie or Addison for that matter.
Sloan: Can’t say I’m sorry ‘cause I never had siblings.
Callie: They’re yelling ‘cause they care.
Meredith: Don’t do that. I’m not your friend and I’m not your family. You don’t get to call me into your office on personal business. You don’t get to do this and speak to me that way right now. It’s an abuse of power. I’m a resident, I work for you. You have to speak to me like a resident. And for the record Chief, somebody had to stand up for that little girl and I make no apologies for that.
Weber: You want to just be a resident? Fine. Alright then. That woman is a victim of domestic violence. This hospital is supposed to be a safe place for her to come and tell her story. And as her doctors it is our job to help her. You did not do your job. Instead you further battered a battered woman. Dr. Grey, you will stay away from that child. You will stay away from that family. You will not come within 100 feet of them and if you do, you will be suspended from this hospital pending reevaluation of your emotional and mental fitness for residency.
Callie: Yeah, bucket on a pulley. She’s up in the tree so she lowers a crap bucket to her friend every day who empties it, cleans it, puts food in it, and then sends it back up the tree.
Arizona: Oh that’s friendship.
Izzie: You can’t see him because you don’t have a tumor, but he says hi.
Bailey: Tell Denny I said go home.
Webber: Who is Santa Claus?
Bailey: An old white man who lives at the North Pole and enters people’s homes inappropriately.
Yang: Our job as doctors is to present the options, answer questions and let the patient decide their course of treatment. That is what we did.
Meredith: Right, but I may have presented her options as ‘You’re having this surgery over my dead body.’
Alex: You don’t get to quit. You don’t get to quit on me. Please, tear it up! The DNR, Tear it up!
Izzie: Where you eyes are supposed to be right now, I see sandy beaches. And there’s an ocean behind your head and there are ghosts wondering in and out. I can’t live like this. And I can’t live. If something goes wrong in that surgery I don’t want any extraordinary measures taken to keep me alive. It’s not what I want. I went crazy when Denny signed the DNR because I didn’t understand. I didn’t understand but now I do. I need you to understand. I don’t want you to go crazy I want you to have a brilliant career and I hope that I get to be here for that, but if I can’t, I just want to go to the other side. I don’t know what’s there but it’s got to be better than hospital beds and tubes down my throat, so please, please don’t cut LVADs. Just, if it comes down to it, just let me go. And right now, just kiss me. Please, please just kiss me. Close your eyes, because the beaches are so distracting.
Sara Beth, ball gown patient: Why do men cheat? My husband slept with my friend, he lost his job and then he slept with my friend, telling me he loves me. Why?
Alex: Maybe he was low, he was down and he didn't want you to see him like that, in pain, weak, less than a man. He has his pride so he turned away. It's not right but it doesn't mean he doesn't care about you. I swear it doesn't.
George: Interns don't respect me.
Lexie: I would respect you if I was your intern!
Cristina: George, the interns don't respect you because they're not scared of you. Just decimate one every few days, it's not rocket science.
Cast Voiceover:
Lexie: Grief may be a thing we all have in common, but it looks different on everyone.
Sloan: It isn’t just death we have to grieve, it’s life. It’s loss. It’s change.
Karev: And when we have to wonder why it sucks so much, sometimes it has to hurt so bad, the thing we’ve got to try to remember is that it can turn on a dime.
Izzie: That’s how you stay alive. When it hurts so much that you can’t breathe, that’s how you survive.
Derek: But remember that one day, somehow, impossibly, you won’t feel this way. It won’t hurt this much.
Bailey: Grief comes in its own time for everyone, in its own way.
Owen: So the best we can do, the best anyone can do, is try for honesty.
Meredith: The really crappy thing, the very worst part of grief, is that you can’t control it.
Arizona: The best we can do is try to let ourselves feel it when it comes.
Callie: And let it go when we can.
Meredith: The very worst part is that the minute you think you’re past it, it starts all over again.
Yang: And always, every time, it takes your breath away.
Meredith: There are five stages of grief. They look different on all of us, but there are always five.
Karev: Denial.
Derek: Anger.
Bailey: Bargaining.
Lexie: Depression.
Webber: Acceptance.
Teddy: I don’t care about awards.
Yang: Oh come on, only people who never win say that.
Bailey: The fascist vegan next door gave me a yoga class for Christmas. The fascist vegan thinks that yoga is going to make me a better person, which is less likely, but if I don’t go, I’ll have to hear about it every time.
Bailey’s boyfriend: ‘My back kinda hurts, but the breathing, I’ve never breathed like that before in my life.’ That’s what people say after their first yoga class. Tell her that, have dinner with me.
Arizona: You can’t be stuck on the same floor as me? That’s a hardship for you.
Callie: Yeah, frankly it is.
Yang: Yeah, I mean whatever. It means we can’t leave. It’s not like I leave here anyways, so what do I care? It’s probably just a drill, or like a psych patient got out or a baby went missing from the nursery. Or there’s an axe murderer on the loose.
Meredith: Axe murderer would be fun.
Callie: When are you going to forgive me for not being a good enough lesbian for you?
Arizona: When you do something to convince me that you’re falling in love with me and not with being in love, when you do something to convince me that I’m different than George O’Malley, Erica Hahn, Mark Sloan, the girl at the coffee cart. You have a huge heart and I love that about you, but I don’t trust you. Why would I?
Callie: People died. People are dead. I don’t want to have kids if it means I can’t be without you.
Arizona: No we’ll have kids. We’ll have all kinds of kids. I always thought I wasn’t cut out to be a mom, but you’ll be a great mom. You’ll be an amazing mom. And I love you so much and I can’t live without you and our ten kids.
Alex: You look hot. The whole crazy eyes, tight dress thing is working for you for whatever it's for.
Lexie: You think that you're so bad ass because you lived, but I'm the reason why you lived. And while you were dying you were crying out for the wife who left you. So that's the opposite of bad ass for whatever it's worth.
Dr. Perkins: Why did you walk away?
Alex: Look life is too short. I almost died trying to stop that guy. Besides, you know how much tail you get offered when you're carrying a bullet in your chest. It's like I'm a legend.
Dr. Perkins: Are you always this crass or is that a defense mechanism?
Alex: I've had too much crazy for one lifetime.
Owen: I need a best man. I know I know we're not that close, but I don't know, you being married to the other twisted sister I just thought it makes us brothers or something.
Derek: I'd be honored. It's an honor.
Alex: It ended the way it always ends. I get close to a chick and the chick goes crazy. Rebecca, then Izzie, my mom. The lightening rod's less crap.
Meredith: You're not that special. Lexie's not crazy. Sure a crazy thing happened to her, but her reaction was pretty normal and Izzie had brain cancer. Rebecca, she was crazy, but that was the facial reconstruction drama. You're not a lightening rod Alex, you're just a guy that's been through a lot of crap. (Looks at Alex's bullet) Wish I had a scalpel.
Alex: Junkie.
Derek: You're flaming out. And as someone who cares about you, it's not okay. I've seen a lot of residents come and go and very very few with your potential. It's not okay.
Cristina: I can barely remember it. You're whole procedure. I took a bullet out of your chest and all I can remember is bits and pieces. Bits and pieces that come back at very inconvenient times, so end of story.
April: I'm a virgin. That doesn't make it drinks conversation. We all have stuff we don't talk about.
Meredith: Oh April. I'm liking you more and more.
April: Thank you.
Meredith: Hostile uterus.
Cristina: House hunting with my husband. At least it's not cancer.
Meredith: At least you're calling him your husband.
Cristina: Baby steps, whatev.
Arizona: Mark stares at my boobs when we talk. He starts at my face, but somewhere along the way he gets distracted and ends up at my boobs. I love guys. I love them. But I've tried my whole life to avoid the boob staring guy. Biology even helped me by making me gay. But now, my girlfriend's best friend is that guy. And I don't think I need to apologize for the fact that the only person I want staring at my boobs is you.
Callie: Boobs, really, you're making this about boobs?
Arizona: He stares at them.
Callie: 'Cause their good boobs!
Cristina: Why would you want to put yourself through this again?
Her patient: Because I love what I do more than anything. You don't find something you love that much and let it go. You hold onto it and throw yourself in deeper.
Derek: I love you and you love me. And whatever happens, I don't care. I don't want to know. I mean it. I don't want to know.
Meredith: Well the lab already has my blood so..
Derek: Here's what we're gonna do. No more doctors, no more labs. You and I we have a lot of sex. Maybe we make a baby, maybe we do not. Maybe you get Alzheimer's, maybe you do not. Just screw the odds, screw science. Let's just live. Whatever happens. Happens. Me and you. Okay?
Meredith: Okay.
Derek: Okay!
Jackson: Competing with the wife. If that's not a stacked deck.
Meredith: It's a game really. All you have to do is win, which you wont.
Cristina: I know what's being asked of me and I'm doing it.
Owen: (to Cristina) There you are. I knew you were in there somewhere. End this day, good or bad, we're going to go home together.
Meredith: Ask anyone - we're close.
Derek: Yeah, Dr. Yang and my wife sometimes have sleepovers in my bed, with me in it.
Cristina: People like to say what I did was heroic, but I wasn't. It was just a thing that I had to do. I think people like to have a hero and it makes them feel better to think that they're in the middle of that horror that there's someone special working medical miracles. I don't have super special medical powers.
Meredith: Cristina is a hero, especially to me. The truth is most surgeons could not have done what she did that day.
Reporter: Is there any one thing you'll take away from all of this?
Cristina: Being a hero has its price.
Mark: You want to see us give a lady a really big ass?
Callie: Oh my God yes!
Cristina: How are you fine? How are you just completely fine? I'm ruined, okay I'm dead. I am wrecked. And you're just what, walking around babysitting me? As if you didn't go through the same thing too. Why are you okay?
Meredith: I don't know.
Cristina: You know what, you were there too. You were there too with your sad eyes screaming at me to save his life. Telling the guy to shoot you and not giving a crap about yourself or your pregnancy. I didn't have a choice. And you did that. If it was anyone else on the table, if it was anyone else standing there I would have walked away.
Meredith: You could not have walked away.
Cristina: I could have walked away and then I wouldn't be here!
Callie: Okay fine, I don't want to go to Africa, but I do want to be with you.
Arizona: You stay here and be happy. And I'll go there and be happy.
Callie: If you get on that plane and go without me we are done. Do you hear me? We are over.
Arizona: We are standing in the middle of an airport screaming at each other. We are already over.
Jackson: Nice face.
Alex: At least I can do surgery. How's that hand?
Jackson: It'd be better if you hadn't run your face into it.
Henry: How do I look? I'm about to propose to my girlfriend, so besides the gown and the IV and the ghostly pallor from being in the hospital for the past week... what do you think... do I have a shot?
Teddy: She'd be a fool to say no. Good luck.
Owen: Do you want to know what I think? I think you are reckless. I think you are reckless with your own life and today you were reckless with a patient's life. I don't care who you are. I don't want that in my OR, and I don't want that around my wife who is struggling just to hold on.
Meredith: Your wife is struggling just to hold on because you married her and let it be okay for her to completely fall apart.
Cristina: It's like court-ordered community service.
Meredith: I'd rather be picking up trash off the side of the highway.
Arizona: Okay, I know I'm not perfect, and I know sometimes I don't listen, and I'm sorry about that, so here I am ready to listen.
Callie: Um, ready to listen.
Arizona: Like a priest at confession.
Arizona: What the hell do I have to cop to to make her give me another chance?
Sloan: You bail. When things get hard, you bail.
Meredith: I used to be hardcore, now I'm softcore.
Derek: Did we just start talking about porn?
Callie: You want a second chance?
Arizona: Yes. I'll do anything.
Callie: Today I found out that I'm pregnant. With Mark's baby. How about now.
Teddy: You really had to go there. You're that insecure.
Jackson: No, just that much of an idiot.
Derek: How can Meredith and I try for months and not have any luck and you look at someone and a baby appears.
Mark: Sloans are unusually fertile.
Callie: You can be the cool uncle that hangs out on Sundays.
Mark: I'm not the cool uncle. I'm the dad.
Arizona: I might be having Mark Sloan's baby.
Teddy: Oh good lord, he got to you too.
Sloan: A baby?
Callie: Growing like a weed in my uterus.
Sloan: Not like a weed... like a mighty oak.
Sloan: That's my kid in there. I'm a dad. We're parents. A baby!
Callie: Okay, you're in.
Sloan: Should we get married?
Callie: Oh, no. I mean I'm all for raising a baby with you, but there's a line.
Callie: Does anyone want to argue with my extra special vagina vote?
Mark: No, thank you.
Arizona: No.
Callie: Good. My votes and I have also decided we want Mark to rub my feet.
Mark:...I'll get the lotion.
Derek: I can't wait to meet our future fictitious baby.
Meredith: Me either.
Cristina: It was hasty. I was a PTSD wastoid shivering on the coach. Maybe we didn't think this through.
Owen: Stop it. You don't get to pull that crap with me. We got married not because you're a basket case but because we loved each other and we wanted a life together.
Meredith: I can't get over the fact that you know what onesie-decorating is.
Mark: I've been boning up. That's what you do for the people you love.
Arizona: Oh, bite me, Mark.
Bailey: Stalking a man while he's in the restroom.
Avery: I'd clean the restroom if he'd let me on his trial.
Cristina: I'd live in it.
Cristina: Yesterday we were at her stupid baby shower.
Meredith: I take it back. You can be Callie's baby's god-mother.
Alex: If there's a baby to god-mother.
Arizona: You know what I didn't ask for? I didn't ask for you, Mark. Because you know what you are? You're basically a sperm donor. I mean this is me and this is Callie, and we're together, so I say...
Mark: No, you don't get a say. This is my family. I'm the father. I'm the father. You're not anything. You're nothing.
Jackson: Look, I am not the kind of guy that waits around for the girl who's still in love with someone else. I'm just not.
Lexie: Jackson, let's go home.
Callie *singing*: Girl you got me trippin sunshine! God knows you just made my day. Since you came around no i just can't slow down. I wanna see you walking my way.
Arizona: Alright?!
Callie: It's not safe. The last time she was in a car she nearly died. We both nearly died.
Bailey: You're right. You are absolutely right. Cars are not safe for children. Okay
, neither are bookcases or squirrels, strong winds, people who sneeze. They're all going to get your baby. But honey you don't feel this was because you were in an accident. You feel this way because you are a parent.
Owen: It's a cute baby, right?
Cristina: Its small features and over-sized thighs trigger a hormonal response from humans. It's autonomic. It's what keeps us from eating them.
Patient: Oh, don't pretend to be smart, you crooked, little bastard.
Alex: And don't pretend you're poor, you evil, old bitch.
Lexie: He solicited a patient for money.
Cristina: What are hooking now?
Alex: No my African kid thing.
Owen: How'd she take it Karev?
Alex: Bitchy, cause she's a bitch.
Callie: I need to see my baby.
Cristina: She's mostly tubes and wires. And she looks more like a chicken than a baby. Like a featherless, beakless chicken. You want to wait until she's cuter.
Callie: You're the worst godmother ever.
Cristina: You picked me.
Mark: I'd like to propose a toast.
Colonel: Why is the sperm donor here? I thought tonight was a family dinner.
Cristina: Well, he only has a shot because I've been benched. The playing field has been leveled. You're all welcome.
Meredith: My Alzheimer's trial kicks African orphanage ass. It kicks all your asses.
Mark: At least one of my fathers-in-law doesn't hate me.
Mr. Torres: You're Sofia's father. I love Sofia so I'm gonna at least going to try to like you. But, if you call me your father-in-law again, I'll knock you out.
Arizona: Who's that from? Hottie husband or hottie boyfriend?
Teddy: It's from Andrew. He's not my boyfriend; he's just my wedding date.
Cristina: I'm sorry your ego is so fragile that I had to stand on the sidelines of a surgery I should have been performing with you today. I have been standing on the sidelines for the past three months basically ruining my chances for chief resident. You wanted sincerity? I could have not been more sincere.
Teddy: And you still don't get it, again.
Meredith: I put my hand on a bomb in a body. She could think that was...
Cristina: Suicidal? No, it was brave
Meredith: I told a shooter to shoot me.
Cristina: Change the subject.
Owen: You'd be a great mother. I know you don't believe me, but it is true. Just sit with this for a little while - this terrible idea that you might love a baby, for me just...
Cristina: Did you hear me? Why would I do that?
Owen: Because you love me - that's why.
Meredith: I don't think that things are simply right or wrong. Things are more complicated than that. This was more complicated than that. It's complicated that it was Adele and Richard. It's complicated that we have a drug in a box that could help her. There's nothing simple about that. I am very sorry that I messed everything up, but I would do it again.
Derek: I don't know how to raise a child with someone who doesn't understand that there's a right and wrong in the world.
Meredith: So, now I'm gonna be a bad mother. That's where we're going with this?
Derek: You've been saying it for weeks. Maybe you're right.
Lexie: You have to stop. You gotta stop talking to me and checking on me and talking to my boyfriend. I love you, and I'm always gonna love you, but I don't want to love you. I want to be happy, and Jackson makes me happy. And if you keep pulling at me, I'll come back to you.
Mark: You're right, I'm sorry.
Lexie: You got what you wanted. You wanted a family so please just let me have what I wanted.
Mark: I said you're right. I told Avery I was letting you go. Did he tell you that part?
Lexie: Yes, it's paternalistic and weird.
Mark: I'm letting you go, Lexie. That means you've got to walk away.
Alex: You look hot. The whole crazy eyes, tight dress thing is working for you for whatever it's for.
Lexie: You think that you're so bad ass because you lived, but I'm the reason why you lived. And while you were dying you were crying out for the wife who left you. So that's the opposite of bad ass for whatever it's worth.
Derek: You're flaming out. And as someone who cares about you, it's not okay. I've seen a lot of residents come and go and very, very few with your potential. It's not okay.
Cristina: I can barely remember it. You're whole procedure. I took a bullet out of your chest and all I can remember is bits and pieces. Bits and pieces that come back at very inconvenient times, so end of story.
Meredith: Hostile uterus.
Cristina: House hunting with my husband. At least it's not cancer.
Meredith: At least you're calling him your husband.
Cristina: Baby steps, whatev.
Arizona: Mark stares at my boobs when we talk. He starts at my face, but somewhere along the way he gets distracted and ends up at my boobs. I love guys. I love them. But I've tried my whole life to avoid the boob staring guy. Biology even helped me by making me gay. But now, my girlfriend's best friend is that guy. And I don't think I need to apologize for the fact that the only person I want staring at my boobs is you.
Callie: Boobs, really, you're making this about boobs?
Arizona: He stares at them.
Callie: 'Cause their good boobs!
Cristina: Why would you want to put yourself through this again?
Her patient: Because I love what I do more than anything. You don't find something you love that much and let it go. You hold onto it and throw yourself in deeper.
Derek: I love you and you love me. And whatever happens, I don't care. I don't want to know. I mean it. I don't want to know.
Meredith: Well the lab already has my blood so..
Derek: Here's what we're gonna do. No more doctors, no more labs. You and I we have a lot of sex. Maybe we make a baby, maybe we do not. Maybe you get Alzheimer's, maybe you do not. Just screw the odds, screw science. Let's just live. Whatever happens. Happens. Me and you. Okay?
Meredith: Okay.
Derek: Okay!
Cristina: People like to say what I did was heroic, but I wasn't. It was just a thing that I had to do. I think people like to have a hero and it makes them feel better to think that they're in the middle of that horror that there's someone special working medical miracles. I don't have super special medical powers.
Meredith: Cristina is a hero, especially to me. The truth is most surgeons could not have done what she did that day.
Cristina: How are you fine? How are you just completely fine? I'm ruined, okay I'm dead. I am wrecked. And you're just what, walking around babysitting me? As if you didn't go through the same thing too. Why are you okay?
Meredith: I don't know.
Cristina: You know what, you were there too. You were there too with your sad eyes screaming at me to save his life. Telling the guy to shoot you and not giving a crap about yourself or your pregnancy. I didn't have a choice. And you did that. If it was anyone else on the table, if it was anyone else standing there I would have walked away.
Meredith: You could not have walked away.
Cristina: I could have walked away and then I wouldn't be here!
Henry: How do I look? I'm about to propose to my girlfriend, so besides the gown and the IV and the ghostly pallor from being in the hospital for the past week... what do you think... do I have a shot?
Teddy: She'd be a fool to say no. Good luck.
Owen: Do you want to know what I think? I think you are reckless. I think you are reckless with your own life and today you were reckless with a patient's life. I don't care who you are. I don't want that in my OR, and I don't want that around my wife who is struggling just to hold on.
Meredith: Your wife is struggling just to hold on because you married her and let it be ok for her to completely fall apart.
Meredith: I used to be hardcore, now I'm softcore.
Derek: Did we just start talking about porn?
Callie: You want a second chance?
Arizona: Yes. I'll do anything.
Callie: Today I found out that I'm pregnant. With Mark's baby. How about now?
Friday, June 25, 2010
Center Stage
Sergei: I am your slave.
Eva Rodriguez: I'd believe it more if you weren't staring at your fucking reflection when you said it.
Instructor: If someone wants to hear profanity, Miss Rodriguez, they can take a subway. They don't need to spend sixty dollars on a ballet ticket.
[to Sergei]
Instructor: Though she has a point.
Maureen Cummings: Erik got injured today. And do you know the first thing I thought when I saw him go down?
Jim Gordon: What?
Maureen Cummings: "I wish that was me." So that made me think, you know, 'cause that's not a normal reaction. How much of what you liked about me was because I was a ballet dancer, and how much because I was me?
Eva Rodriguez: I screwed up any chance I had back in September. But I started dancing long before this stupid workshop, and I'm gonna keep on dancing long after it. So tomorrow is one more day I get to dance.
Eva Rodriguez: A girl's got a right to know what kind of hound she's saving herself for.
Jody: Cooper, you're an amazing dancer, and you're a great choreographer, but as a boyfriend... you kinda suck.
Eva Rodriguez: Truth? In terms of technique, you are behind. But the people here know what they're looking for. And on the day of you audition, they saw it. In you.
Jody Sawyer: Now all they see is the wrong body type.
Eva Rodriguez: What, did you go to a special bitch academy or something?
Eva: Being nice when you say something pricky is even prickier.
Erik Jones: I do ballet because it has nothing to do with the people. Give me tiaras and boys in tights any day.
Maureen Cummings: I'm just trying to be honest. That's what friends do.
Eva: I guess that would explain why you have so many friends.
Maureen Cummings: If this is what I wanted, I wouldn't be as unhappy as I've been. I'd have friends, I'd sleep well, I wouldn't throw up half the things that I eat.
Nancy Cummings: You watch your weight, there's nothing wrong with that!
Maureen Cummings: Mom, I'm telling you I'm unhappy and sick. I can't do this any more!
Nancy Cummings: But it's your dream. You just don't give up on your dream.
Maureen Cummings: It's your dream, and it matters more to you than anything ever did to me. So I did it, but I can't any more.
Nancy Cummings: I know what regret feels like, and I don't want that for you.
Maureen Cummings: That's what ballet would be... a life of wishing that I found something I loved, instead of something I just happened to do well. I'm not you, Mom. You didn't have the feet. I don't have the heart.
Eva Rodriguez: [Sergei drops Maureen] Careful with that one. You break it, you bought it!
Kathleen: You are in big trouble.
Cooper: She's in my ballet.
Kathleen: Oh please... she's a heartbeat away from tattooing your name on her ass.
Jody: That class, I mean, how come I can't dance like that in my ABA class?
Cooper: Because ABA has a great big stick up its ass?
Maureen Cummings: I've got priorities. I mean, you only get to be a dancer for ten years - maybe fifteen if you don't get injured. So for the next decade at least...
Jim Gordon: Hey, all I'm asking for is a date...
Charlie: Whatever you feel, just dance it.
Maureen Cummings: Look, you're a smart girl, Jody. If you turn in your application now, you can still get into a good college.
Jody Sawyer: But... I don't want to go to college. I want to dance.
Maureen Cummings: Yeah? Well so do a lot of people.
Jody Sawyer: Wait. All my life I've wanted to be one of ABC's perfect ballerinas. I wanted to be you, Juliette. But I'm not you, and I'm not perfect,I'm just me, bad feet and all, and I'm starting to think that I like that just as much. No, because if you're not going to offer me a place in the company I don't want to hear it. And if you are, I might not have the strength to say no, and then I would be spending my best dancing years in the back of a corps waving a rose back and forth, and I'm better than that. So thank you, Jonathan, for turning me into the best dancer I can be, I appreciate it more than I can say, really. Because the best dancer I can be is a principal in Cooper Neilson's new company.
Cooper: If you're still holding onto all that personal shit...
Jonathan Reeves: I don't have to hold onto anything. I got the girl.
Jody Sawyer: Margot Fonteyn didn't have great feet.
Jonathan Reeves: Well when Margot Fonteyn was on stage, you couldn't tear your eyes away from her. Pft. It can't be taught.
Instructor: Just dance the shit outta there!
Eva Rodriguez: I'd believe it more if you weren't staring at your fucking reflection when you said it.
Instructor: If someone wants to hear profanity, Miss Rodriguez, they can take a subway. They don't need to spend sixty dollars on a ballet ticket.
[to Sergei]
Instructor: Though she has a point.
Maureen Cummings: Erik got injured today. And do you know the first thing I thought when I saw him go down?
Jim Gordon: What?
Maureen Cummings: "I wish that was me." So that made me think, you know, 'cause that's not a normal reaction. How much of what you liked about me was because I was a ballet dancer, and how much because I was me?
Eva Rodriguez: I screwed up any chance I had back in September. But I started dancing long before this stupid workshop, and I'm gonna keep on dancing long after it. So tomorrow is one more day I get to dance.
Eva Rodriguez: A girl's got a right to know what kind of hound she's saving herself for.
Jody: Cooper, you're an amazing dancer, and you're a great choreographer, but as a boyfriend... you kinda suck.
Eva Rodriguez: Truth? In terms of technique, you are behind. But the people here know what they're looking for. And on the day of you audition, they saw it. In you.
Jody Sawyer: Now all they see is the wrong body type.
Eva Rodriguez: What, did you go to a special bitch academy or something?
Eva: Being nice when you say something pricky is even prickier.
Erik Jones: I do ballet because it has nothing to do with the people. Give me tiaras and boys in tights any day.
Maureen Cummings: I'm just trying to be honest. That's what friends do.
Eva: I guess that would explain why you have so many friends.
Maureen Cummings: If this is what I wanted, I wouldn't be as unhappy as I've been. I'd have friends, I'd sleep well, I wouldn't throw up half the things that I eat.
Nancy Cummings: You watch your weight, there's nothing wrong with that!
Maureen Cummings: Mom, I'm telling you I'm unhappy and sick. I can't do this any more!
Nancy Cummings: But it's your dream. You just don't give up on your dream.
Maureen Cummings: It's your dream, and it matters more to you than anything ever did to me. So I did it, but I can't any more.
Nancy Cummings: I know what regret feels like, and I don't want that for you.
Maureen Cummings: That's what ballet would be... a life of wishing that I found something I loved, instead of something I just happened to do well. I'm not you, Mom. You didn't have the feet. I don't have the heart.
Eva Rodriguez: [Sergei drops Maureen] Careful with that one. You break it, you bought it!
Kathleen: You are in big trouble.
Cooper: She's in my ballet.
Kathleen: Oh please... she's a heartbeat away from tattooing your name on her ass.
Jody: That class, I mean, how come I can't dance like that in my ABA class?
Cooper: Because ABA has a great big stick up its ass?
Maureen Cummings: I've got priorities. I mean, you only get to be a dancer for ten years - maybe fifteen if you don't get injured. So for the next decade at least...
Jim Gordon: Hey, all I'm asking for is a date...
Charlie: Whatever you feel, just dance it.
Maureen Cummings: Look, you're a smart girl, Jody. If you turn in your application now, you can still get into a good college.
Jody Sawyer: But... I don't want to go to college. I want to dance.
Maureen Cummings: Yeah? Well so do a lot of people.
Jody Sawyer: Wait. All my life I've wanted to be one of ABC's perfect ballerinas. I wanted to be you, Juliette. But I'm not you, and I'm not perfect,I'm just me, bad feet and all, and I'm starting to think that I like that just as much. No, because if you're not going to offer me a place in the company I don't want to hear it. And if you are, I might not have the strength to say no, and then I would be spending my best dancing years in the back of a corps waving a rose back and forth, and I'm better than that. So thank you, Jonathan, for turning me into the best dancer I can be, I appreciate it more than I can say, really. Because the best dancer I can be is a principal in Cooper Neilson's new company.
Cooper: If you're still holding onto all that personal shit...
Jonathan Reeves: I don't have to hold onto anything. I got the girl.
Jody Sawyer: Margot Fonteyn didn't have great feet.
Jonathan Reeves: Well when Margot Fonteyn was on stage, you couldn't tear your eyes away from her. Pft. It can't be taught.
Instructor: Just dance the shit outta there!
Thursday, June 24, 2010
The Black Dahlia
Bucky: [voiceover] Mr. Fire versus Mr. Ice. For everything people were making it out to be, you'd think it was our first fight. It wasn't. And it wouldn't be our last. I already knew him by reputation, record down pat. A regular attraction at the Hollywood Legion Stadium. Lee Blanchard. 43-4-2 as a heavyweight. And he knew me, Dwight "Bucky" Bleichert. Light heavy. 36-0-0. Ranked tenth by Ring Magazine. Fighting no-name opponents in a no-man's-land division. In our first year at Central Division Station, we never spoke. Warrants was local celebrity as a cop. Warrants was chasing the real criminals and not rousting winos and wienie waggers in front of some Midnight Mission. Jew-boy D.A.s with hard-ons for fighters. Transfers, promotions, back then, I told myself I didn't care. I lost a lot of things in life, but never a fight for money. I was trading Warrants for a close-out on old bad debts. The eight grand I was going to clear was enough to maintain the old man in a good, clean rest home for three years. The late-round tank job, enough to convince myself I wasn't a complete coward.
Notorious
Biggie: [narrations] In the beginning, God gave me a clean slate. But where I grew up, I knew I couldn't stay clean. If you was a nice, ordinary kid, you was an easy mark for the wannabe gangsters and cutthroat girls in the school yard. My moms was from a small town in Jamaica where they left the doors unlocked at night. But in our neighborhood, the only time she let me off the stoop was when she walked me home from school. This was Brooklyn. Do-or-die Bed-Stuy. And there was just some shit Moms couldn't protect me from. Right then and there, I decided to stop being that little kid on the stoop. I wanted to be like them brothers on the block. They didn't hold their heads down for no one. I knew life was a fucked up game, and I knew D Roc was fucked up enough to show me how to play. Motherfuckers got addicted to crack after they first hit but I got addicted to money after my first sale. By the time I was 17, I wasn't no ordinary kid. I was paid. Me and D Roc were like factory workers and Fulton Street was the assembly line. But every now and then, D Roc would say, "Yo, can I get a rhyme?" See, drug dealing was like my wife. Rapping was just some chick on the side. Before I knew it, word got out about my skills and shit. Then this kid named Primo called me out. Everyone was jocking him, 'cause he never lost a battle.It was one thing to rhyme for your boys, but it was another to battle. I wasn't the man my moms wanted me to be. So fuck it. I was gonna be the man I needed to be. I got tired of that nickel-and-dime shit, so I stepped up my game. I had for young cats out on the streets. I wasn't hanging with my boys, wasn't messing with no chicks. I was too busy counting paper. But I was moving too fucking fast, and I slipped up. That was the first time in my life I thought if I was dead my fucking problems would go away. I started rhyming 'cause I was bored. Plain and simple. But then my frustrations turned into rhymes, and those rhymes told my story. Having a daughter made me want to be a different kind of cat. But not being able to support her felt like a whole other kind of jail. I saw Tupac about 20 times in Juice. Now here I was walking into a party with him. It was crazy. Females ready to jump out their clothes to get at him. And all the brothers gave him mad respect. I figured if it was this good starting out, then being as large as Pac must be the shit. Doctors got all the cancer out of her. my moms was gonna live. And me, I was going to finally change my life. That shit just clicked. Puffy gave it that gloss. The way them snares hitting them vocals dropped, he took that track from 100% to 200%. They started saying we brought the funk back to hip-hop. All I know is, I was doing what I always did. If they didn't know Puff Daddy and Biggie Smalls before, they damn sure knew us now. Watchin' Faith, all I could think was, "Damn!" She was like some chick fresh off a movie screen. We had been seeing each other for three weeks. But I ain't wanna wait another minute. Things got cool with me and Faith so I took Junior M.A.F.I.A. on the road. But the smoother shot got with me and Fay, the bumpier they got with me and Kim. That was Pac. A revolutionary one minute, a thug life motherfucker the next. Ask 10 people who Pac is and you'll get 10 different answers. But he was all that and more, and sometimes we was just someone who liked fucking with you. But like Pac told me, the best time would be when I was coming up. Because once you on top, you can only go down. Pac was right. That night at Quad Studios changed everything. TuPac didn't know who the fuck to trust. As far as he was concerned, everyone near was responsible, including me. Pac went to jail on the sex-abuse charge. We thought all the bullshit would die down, but Suge Knight, the owner of Death Row Records, had something else in mind. Me and Pac should have said, "Fuck that bullshit. Let's go somewhere and talk this shit out." But the fact is, we were both way beyond that now. The media went crazy. It had nothing to do with hip-hop but everything to do with selling papers and magazines. And in that one moment, I had that thought again. Dying would be better than dealing with this shit. West Coast rappers were still scared to come to the East Coast and East Coast rappers were scared to come out west, but it was time to put an end to all this shit. So I went to Cali to promote my album.
Biggie: It's perfectly normal for a mother to feel jealous when her son cares about another female.
Biggie: You're carrying my seed, it means you are my world.
Voletta and Biggie: Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for thou art with me. Thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies. My cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life.
Puffy: My business is about the streets, but my business ain't in the streets.
Puffy: Don't chase the paper. Chase the dream!
Biggie: Puffy, I don't know about a chinchilla, but if you throw me out to the jungle, I'll have them muthafuckers dancin.'
TuPac: When you startin' out, that's the best time. 'Cause as soon as you get on top, that's when the shit start.
Faith: So, are you a bad guy trying to be good, or a good guy trying to be bad?
Puffy: We can't change the world unless we change ourselves.
Voletta: [narration] My son, Christopher Wallace, told stories. Some of them were funny, some of them were sad, some of them were violent, but people listened. I'm saddened that his life was cut down at the age of 24 but I find solace in knowing that he became a man and he was ready to live. as i looked out at all those faces, something happened. Someone in the crowd turned on the radio and I could hear my son's voice.
Christopher Geroge Latore Wallace
May 21, 1972 - March 9, 1997
Christopher Wallace, aka Notorious BIG, did not live to see the release of his second album. That album, "Life After Death", went on to sell 10 million copies worldwide.
With his life, he proved that no dream is too big. The sky is the limit.
Biggie: It's perfectly normal for a mother to feel jealous when her son cares about another female.
Biggie: You're carrying my seed, it means you are my world.
Voletta and Biggie: Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for thou art with me. Thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies. My cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life.
Puffy: My business is about the streets, but my business ain't in the streets.
Puffy: Don't chase the paper. Chase the dream!
Biggie: Puffy, I don't know about a chinchilla, but if you throw me out to the jungle, I'll have them muthafuckers dancin.'
TuPac: When you startin' out, that's the best time. 'Cause as soon as you get on top, that's when the shit start.
Faith: So, are you a bad guy trying to be good, or a good guy trying to be bad?
Puffy: We can't change the world unless we change ourselves.
Voletta: [narration] My son, Christopher Wallace, told stories. Some of them were funny, some of them were sad, some of them were violent, but people listened. I'm saddened that his life was cut down at the age of 24 but I find solace in knowing that he became a man and he was ready to live. as i looked out at all those faces, something happened. Someone in the crowd turned on the radio and I could hear my son's voice.
Christopher Geroge Latore Wallace
May 21, 1972 - March 9, 1997
Christopher Wallace, aka Notorious BIG, did not live to see the release of his second album. That album, "Life After Death", went on to sell 10 million copies worldwide.
With his life, he proved that no dream is too big. The sky is the limit.
Monday, June 21, 2010
Steel Magnolias
Clairee: She can't be more than 18. She hasn't had time to have a past.
Truvy: This is the 80s. If you can achieve puberty, you can achieve a past.
M'Lynn: All abuse is heaped on the mother of the bride.
Ouiser: He is a boil on the butt of humanity.
Ouiser: Men are the most horrible creatures, honey. They will ruin your life.
Clairee: All gay men have track lightin'. And all gay men are named Mark, Rick, or Steve.
Ouiser: I try not to eat healthy food if I can possibly help it. The sooner my body gives out, the better off I'll be.
Ouiser: Southern women are supposed to wear funny looking hats and ugly clothes and grow vegetables in the dirt.
Truvy: God don't care which church you go to, as long as you show up.
Ouiser: A dirty mind is a terrible thing to waste.
Clairee: You have the handwriting of a serial killer.
Ouiser: I do not see plays, because I can nap at home for free. And I don't see movies 'cause they're trash, and they got nothin' but naked people in 'em! And I don't read books, 'cause if they're any good, they're gonna make 'em into a miniseries.
M'Lynn: I find it amusing. Men are supposed to be made out of steel or something. I just sat there. I just held Shelby's hand. There was no noise, no tremble, just peace. Oh god. I realize as a woman how lucky I am. I was there when that wonderful creature drifted into my life and I was there when she drifted out. It was the most precious moment of my life.
M'Lynn: I'm fine! I can jog all the way to Texas and back, but my daughter can't! She never could! Oh God! I am so mad I don't know what to do! I wanna know why! I wanna know *why* Shelby's life is over! I wanna know how that baby will *ever* know how wonderful his mother was! Will he ever know what she went through for him! Oh *God* I wanna know why? Why? Lord, I wish I could understand! No! No! No! It's not supposed to happen this way! I'm supposed to go first. I've always been ready to go first! I-I don't think I can take this! I-I don't think I can take this! I-I just wanna hit somebody 'til they feel as bad as I do! I just wanna hit something! I wanna hit it hard!
Clairee: We'll sell t-shirts sayin' "I SLAPPED OUISER BOUDREAUX!" Hit her!
Clairee: M'Lynn, you just missed the chance of a lifetime! Half o' Chiquapin Parish'd give their eye teeth to take a whack at Ouiser!
Shelby: Remember what Daddy always says - an ounce of pretension is worth a pound of manure!
M'Lynn: Shelby, as you know, wouldn't want us to get mired down and wallow in this. We should handle it the best way we know how and get on with it. That's what my mind says, I just wish somebody would explain it to my heart.
Ouiser Boudreaux: Oh! Well don't you expect me to come to one of your churches or one of those tent-revivals with all those Bible-beaters doin' God-only-knows-what! They'd probably make me eat a live chicken!
Truvy: Laughter through tears is my favorite emotion.
Truvy: Smile! It increases your face value.
Clairee: Ouiser could never stay mad at me; she worships the quicksand I walk on.
Ouiser: Annelle, take your Bible and shove it where the sun doesn't shine.
Ouiser: You are evil, and you must be destroyed.
Clairee: Mother Nature's taking care of that faster than you could.
Clairee: The only thing that separates us from the animals is our ability to accessorize.
Clairee: That which does not kill us, makes us stronger.
Ouiser: I'm not crazy, I've just been in a very bad mood 40 years!
Ouiser: The only reason people are nice to me is because I have more money than God.
Clairee: Well, you know what they say: if you don't have anything nice to say about anybody, come sit by me!
Truvy: There's so much static electricity in this room, I pick up everything but boys and money.
Shelby: Well, we went skinny dipping and we did things that frightened the fish.
Shelby: Mama, I don't know why you have to make everything so difficult. I look at having a baby as the opportunity of a lifetime. Sure there may be risk involved, but that's true for anybody. But you get through it and life goes on. And when it's all said and done there will be a little piece of immortality with Jackson's good looks and my sense of style, I hope. Please, please I need your support. I would rather have thirty minutes of wonderful than a lifetime of nothing special.
M'Lynn: You are special Shelby. There are limits to what you can do.
Clairee: The older you get, the sillier you get.
Ouiser: Yeah, well the older you get, the uglier you get.
Truvy: There is no such thing as natural beauty.
Truvy: I don't like her. I don't trust anyone who does their own hair. I don't think it's natural.
M'Lynn: Oh Ouiser, Drum would NEVER point a gun at a lady!
Ouiser: Oh! He's a real gentleman! I bet he takes the dishes out of the sink before he PEES in it!
Truvy: This is the 80s. If you can achieve puberty, you can achieve a past.
M'Lynn: All abuse is heaped on the mother of the bride.
Ouiser: He is a boil on the butt of humanity.
Ouiser: Men are the most horrible creatures, honey. They will ruin your life.
Clairee: All gay men have track lightin'. And all gay men are named Mark, Rick, or Steve.
Ouiser: I try not to eat healthy food if I can possibly help it. The sooner my body gives out, the better off I'll be.
Ouiser: Southern women are supposed to wear funny looking hats and ugly clothes and grow vegetables in the dirt.
Truvy: God don't care which church you go to, as long as you show up.
Ouiser: A dirty mind is a terrible thing to waste.
Clairee: You have the handwriting of a serial killer.
Ouiser: I do not see plays, because I can nap at home for free. And I don't see movies 'cause they're trash, and they got nothin' but naked people in 'em! And I don't read books, 'cause if they're any good, they're gonna make 'em into a miniseries.
M'Lynn: I find it amusing. Men are supposed to be made out of steel or something. I just sat there. I just held Shelby's hand. There was no noise, no tremble, just peace. Oh god. I realize as a woman how lucky I am. I was there when that wonderful creature drifted into my life and I was there when she drifted out. It was the most precious moment of my life.
M'Lynn: I'm fine! I can jog all the way to Texas and back, but my daughter can't! She never could! Oh God! I am so mad I don't know what to do! I wanna know why! I wanna know *why* Shelby's life is over! I wanna know how that baby will *ever* know how wonderful his mother was! Will he ever know what she went through for him! Oh *God* I wanna know why? Why? Lord, I wish I could understand! No! No! No! It's not supposed to happen this way! I'm supposed to go first. I've always been ready to go first! I-I don't think I can take this! I-I don't think I can take this! I-I just wanna hit somebody 'til they feel as bad as I do! I just wanna hit something! I wanna hit it hard!
Clairee: We'll sell t-shirts sayin' "I SLAPPED OUISER BOUDREAUX!" Hit her!
Clairee: M'Lynn, you just missed the chance of a lifetime! Half o' Chiquapin Parish'd give their eye teeth to take a whack at Ouiser!
Shelby: Remember what Daddy always says - an ounce of pretension is worth a pound of manure!
M'Lynn: Shelby, as you know, wouldn't want us to get mired down and wallow in this. We should handle it the best way we know how and get on with it. That's what my mind says, I just wish somebody would explain it to my heart.
Ouiser Boudreaux: Oh! Well don't you expect me to come to one of your churches or one of those tent-revivals with all those Bible-beaters doin' God-only-knows-what! They'd probably make me eat a live chicken!
Truvy: Laughter through tears is my favorite emotion.
Truvy: Smile! It increases your face value.
Clairee: Ouiser could never stay mad at me; she worships the quicksand I walk on.
Ouiser: Annelle, take your Bible and shove it where the sun doesn't shine.
Ouiser: You are evil, and you must be destroyed.
Clairee: Mother Nature's taking care of that faster than you could.
Clairee: The only thing that separates us from the animals is our ability to accessorize.
Clairee: That which does not kill us, makes us stronger.
Ouiser: I'm not crazy, I've just been in a very bad mood 40 years!
Ouiser: The only reason people are nice to me is because I have more money than God.
Clairee: Well, you know what they say: if you don't have anything nice to say about anybody, come sit by me!
Truvy: There's so much static electricity in this room, I pick up everything but boys and money.
Shelby: Well, we went skinny dipping and we did things that frightened the fish.
Shelby: Mama, I don't know why you have to make everything so difficult. I look at having a baby as the opportunity of a lifetime. Sure there may be risk involved, but that's true for anybody. But you get through it and life goes on. And when it's all said and done there will be a little piece of immortality with Jackson's good looks and my sense of style, I hope. Please, please I need your support. I would rather have thirty minutes of wonderful than a lifetime of nothing special.
M'Lynn: You are special Shelby. There are limits to what you can do.
Clairee: The older you get, the sillier you get.
Ouiser: Yeah, well the older you get, the uglier you get.
Truvy: There is no such thing as natural beauty.
Truvy: I don't like her. I don't trust anyone who does their own hair. I don't think it's natural.
M'Lynn: Oh Ouiser, Drum would NEVER point a gun at a lady!
Ouiser: Oh! He's a real gentleman! I bet he takes the dishes out of the sink before he PEES in it!
Sunday, June 20, 2010
True Blood: Season Three
Tara: I don't know what I expect - trash is as trash does.
Pam: I should have told you that lavender is my favorite color.
Sookie: Pam, I'm in no mood for lesbian weirdness.
Lafayette: [to Lettie-Mae] Bitch! You, me, bridge ain't gonna never motherfuckin' happen.
Andy Bellefleur: We are going to get through this so long as we act like everything is perfectly normal.
Jason: I ain't even sure what normal is anymore.
Andy Bellefleur: Well for you, normal is goin' out and gettin' tail. So I suggest you start there.
Jason: No, that was the old Jason. I wanna be new Jason.
Andy Bellefleur: Well, when this thing blows over you can go out and not get laid all you want to. But for now, you gotta be the Jason Stackhouse everybody knows.
Lafayette: Good. Tequila and klonopin, baby girl. A steady diet of that will keep them thoughts away 'til y'alls more equipped to deal with them.
Hoyt: Well somebody musta told the truth about me then. My whole life has gone from happy to hell inside just a couple of days. No girlfriend. I got no roof over my head, unless you count my car.
Lafayette: [to Lettie Mae] Do everybody a solid. Instead of looking up at a god that let all this shit happen, you need to keep your eyes on your fucking daughter. She ain't right to be alone.
Reverend Daniels: [to Tara] This devil woman came to you and introduced you to a man and together they tried to pull you down into the pits of hell.
Andy Bellefleur: Say it with me! Conscious off - di*k on and everything's gonna be alright.
Jason: I'm starting to believe that the truth is poison.
Pam: I don't know what it is about me that makes people think I want to hear their problems. Maybe I smile too much. Maybe I wear too much pink. But please remember I can rip your throat out if I need to. And also know that I am not a hooker. That was a long, long time ago.
Jason: If you and me are gonna be roommates, there's a certain amount of pussy overflow you just have to get used to dealing with.
Lafayette: You're too busy praising Jesus to realize your daughter wants to move in with him permanently.
Sookie: It's 5 a.m. What are you doing eating my chicken in the dark?
Mrs. Reynolds: This is Jesus. He's a Mexican. But he ain't rape me yet.
Sookie: You wait to tell people how you feel about them, you never know what will happen.
Sam: I didn't realize this was a 'Whose Life is More Fucked' contest. If it means that much to you, you win.
Andy: You're a good guy, Stackhouse. You got a lot of heart. You're prettier than most girls.
Godric: A vampire is never at the mercy of his emotions. He dominates them.
Eric: You're going to invite me in so I can protect you. Or have passionate, primal sex with you. Or how about both?
Terry: I have a diploma from anger management, where I learned talking about your feelings is a manly thing to do.
Hoyt: The legal blood/alcohol level in the state of Louisiana is...
Jason: Drunk?
Eric: If you plan in rescuing a vampire during daylight, I have seriously overestimated your intelligence.
Lorena: The only way to show your love for a human is to stay away forever.
Alcide: No matter how well you think you know somebody, they can still turn around and kick you right in the nut sack.
Sam's mother: Sometimes I think that boy's cheese done fall right off his cracker.
Sookie: Can all vampires fly?
Eric: Can all humans sing?
Sookie : Are you kidding? I couldn't carry a tune in a bucket with a lid on it.
King: A woman is only a woman. But a good cigar is a smoke.
Arlene: People love giving redheads tips - and I've always been the only redhead at Merlotte's.
Franklin: If there's one thing I miss more than sunshine, it is good fruit.
Bill [to Lorena]: Any passion you felt was me killing my love for Sookie. It had nothing to do with you... It's been a long night, and I need to sleep. Now get the fuck out.
Talbot: You and your dusty love beast are at odds with my decor.
Sookie: I am not gonna die 'cause of your shitty girlfriend and a Mississippi pothole!
Russell: A King in front of them, a Queen behind them - and they're talking about a human girl.
Talbot: Men.
Tommy: He's little league. You're a smoking hot vampire. You're the Majors.
Mr. Northman: You can't live your life between a woman's legs.
Eric: I can try.
Franklin: Even when I'm away, I can feel your flesh molded to me. That's how close we are now.
Tara: That's really sweet.
Tara: We need to talk.
Franklin: Don't say that. Women say that, everything goes black, and I wake up surrounded by body parts.
Terry: I ain't worried. I've never been so not worried. This is what normal people do, Sam. They fall in love. They make each other laugh. They move in together. They raise kids. They fight over money. They get old and fat together. And it's normal. And it's happenin' to me. I can't believe it.
Arlene: Please don't eat me, I am pregnant. Oh that probably just made you want to eat me more.
Jessica: Just because my fangs popped out doesn't mean I am going to use them on you.
Lafayette: Go tell your mama that two faggots whooped your ass!
Sam: You're just a scared man in saggy underpants with no discernible life skills.
Summer: I really like you Hoyt and I really want you to taste my biscuits.
Jason: I didn't think I was smart enough to get depressed.
Talbot: Franklin's brains won't wash off the guest linens, I had to bury werewolves under the gazebo, and that Sookie bitch staked Lorena. I've had enough excitement, thank you.
Russell: Poor Talbot. Are your diamond slippers chafing?
Talbot: I'm bored. Take off your clothes.
Alcide: You can read minds and shoot light out of your fingers. Who am I to tell you what's best for you?
Arlene: That's Tara. She's all bark and, well, she bites, too.
Tara: Maybe you can flirt some sense into that girl 'cause logic sure ain't working.
Tara: Know what you sound like? One of those country songs about dumb bitches that let their men beat on them and cheat on them, all in the name of true love.
Sookie: Did you just call me a dumb bitch?
Jason: You got no right being in my head. That's... trespassing.
Eric: I enjoy a good head-ripping as much as any vampire, but in this case it might be wise to consider the value of the heads in question.
Talbot [to Russell]: You're acting like a century-old child!
Sookie: Just once I'd like to not find a dead body in my house. Is that asking too much?
Russell: We will eat you, after we eat your children. Now time for the weather... Tiffany?
Russell: Mine is the true face of vampires!
Franklin: I'll mourn you, Tara. I'll mourn you to my very marrow.
Lafayette's mother: I'll be damned. Maybe God loves fags!
Sookie: As much as you wanna be human, I think I'm closer to meeting you halfway to vampire.
Sookie: I don't know how you did things in the 1800s, but keeping a file on the woman you love is... creepy.
Terry: Arlene, I want to marry you. And together we will surround that baby with more love than it can handle.
Summer: I can tell you're a sexual person, Hoyt Fortenberry... I know God wants girls to wait, but I'm right about you.
Jessica: We get it. You don't like vampires. Well, I don't like narrow-minded skinny bitches with bad dye jobs.
Lafayette: Them fuckers is a whole new dimension of trash.
Bill: Sookie, it is not your blood I love. I love you. Your heart, your mind, your soul... you have brought light back into my life.
Bill [to Sookie]: Yours is the most delicious blood I've ever tasted. That's all I know.
Sookie: I'm a fairy? How fuckin lame!
Bill: It is more important than ever that we restrain ourselves, even if it is against our nature.
Eric: If I meet the true death without at least kissing you, Sookie Stackhouse, that will be my biggest regret.
Jason: Everyone in this town ain't what they're supposed to be. So... you turn into a panther. I love you.
Sookie: What would we be if we were normal? I can't even picture it.
Tara: No one cares about Eggs except me, and I'll miss him for the rest of my life.
Summer: I opened up my heart to him. I showed him my best underwear. There's nothing else I can do.
Sookie: I love you, Bill, but after this Mississippi mess, I'd be crazy to just trust either of you.
Russell [to Eric]: You are nothing more than a lump of muscle with a blood grudge.
Crystal: All I gotta do is marry my half-brother and let him breed me until I'm old or dead.
Lafayette: We could end up in Hell, or fuckin' South Dakota.
Pam: This is not just about your relationship, you infatuated tween. There's a bigger picture.
Eric [to Pam]: You know I love you more when you're cold and heartless.
Eric [to Russell]: Be brave. We'll die together.
Tara: Don't you think being a shape-shifter is something you should tell someone before you sleep with them.
Sookie: Stepping around the fact that your word is worth about as much as tits on a turtle.
Eric: If you two are done eye-fucking each other, can we go?
Jason: Sometimes the right thing to do is the wrong thing. I know I did the right thing.
Lafayette: You're a witch, who's a nurse, and a dude? How did I get so lucky?
Sookie: I feel better protecting myself, now that I know I am basically vampire crack.
Pam: I should have told you that lavender is my favorite color.
Sookie: Pam, I'm in no mood for lesbian weirdness.
Lafayette: [to Lettie-Mae] Bitch! You, me, bridge ain't gonna never motherfuckin' happen.
Andy Bellefleur: We are going to get through this so long as we act like everything is perfectly normal.
Jason: I ain't even sure what normal is anymore.
Andy Bellefleur: Well for you, normal is goin' out and gettin' tail. So I suggest you start there.
Jason: No, that was the old Jason. I wanna be new Jason.
Andy Bellefleur: Well, when this thing blows over you can go out and not get laid all you want to. But for now, you gotta be the Jason Stackhouse everybody knows.
Lafayette: Good. Tequila and klonopin, baby girl. A steady diet of that will keep them thoughts away 'til y'alls more equipped to deal with them.
Hoyt: Well somebody musta told the truth about me then. My whole life has gone from happy to hell inside just a couple of days. No girlfriend. I got no roof over my head, unless you count my car.
Lafayette: [to Lettie Mae] Do everybody a solid. Instead of looking up at a god that let all this shit happen, you need to keep your eyes on your fucking daughter. She ain't right to be alone.
Reverend Daniels: [to Tara] This devil woman came to you and introduced you to a man and together they tried to pull you down into the pits of hell.
Andy Bellefleur: Say it with me! Conscious off - di*k on and everything's gonna be alright.
Jason: I'm starting to believe that the truth is poison.
Pam: I don't know what it is about me that makes people think I want to hear their problems. Maybe I smile too much. Maybe I wear too much pink. But please remember I can rip your throat out if I need to. And also know that I am not a hooker. That was a long, long time ago.
Jason: If you and me are gonna be roommates, there's a certain amount of pussy overflow you just have to get used to dealing with.
Lafayette: You're too busy praising Jesus to realize your daughter wants to move in with him permanently.
Sookie: It's 5 a.m. What are you doing eating my chicken in the dark?
Mrs. Reynolds: This is Jesus. He's a Mexican. But he ain't rape me yet.
Sookie: You wait to tell people how you feel about them, you never know what will happen.
Sam: I didn't realize this was a 'Whose Life is More Fucked' contest. If it means that much to you, you win.
Andy: You're a good guy, Stackhouse. You got a lot of heart. You're prettier than most girls.
Godric: A vampire is never at the mercy of his emotions. He dominates them.
Eric: You're going to invite me in so I can protect you. Or have passionate, primal sex with you. Or how about both?
Terry: I have a diploma from anger management, where I learned talking about your feelings is a manly thing to do.
Hoyt: The legal blood/alcohol level in the state of Louisiana is...
Jason: Drunk?
Eric: If you plan in rescuing a vampire during daylight, I have seriously overestimated your intelligence.
Lorena: The only way to show your love for a human is to stay away forever.
Alcide: No matter how well you think you know somebody, they can still turn around and kick you right in the nut sack.
Sam's mother: Sometimes I think that boy's cheese done fall right off his cracker.
Sookie: Can all vampires fly?
Eric: Can all humans sing?
Sookie : Are you kidding? I couldn't carry a tune in a bucket with a lid on it.
King: A woman is only a woman. But a good cigar is a smoke.
Arlene: People love giving redheads tips - and I've always been the only redhead at Merlotte's.
Franklin: If there's one thing I miss more than sunshine, it is good fruit.
Bill [to Lorena]: Any passion you felt was me killing my love for Sookie. It had nothing to do with you... It's been a long night, and I need to sleep. Now get the fuck out.
Talbot: You and your dusty love beast are at odds with my decor.
Sookie: I am not gonna die 'cause of your shitty girlfriend and a Mississippi pothole!
Russell: A King in front of them, a Queen behind them - and they're talking about a human girl.
Talbot: Men.
Tommy: He's little league. You're a smoking hot vampire. You're the Majors.
Mr. Northman: You can't live your life between a woman's legs.
Eric: I can try.
Franklin: Even when I'm away, I can feel your flesh molded to me. That's how close we are now.
Tara: That's really sweet.
Tara: We need to talk.
Franklin: Don't say that. Women say that, everything goes black, and I wake up surrounded by body parts.
Terry: I ain't worried. I've never been so not worried. This is what normal people do, Sam. They fall in love. They make each other laugh. They move in together. They raise kids. They fight over money. They get old and fat together. And it's normal. And it's happenin' to me. I can't believe it.
Arlene: Please don't eat me, I am pregnant. Oh that probably just made you want to eat me more.
Jessica: Just because my fangs popped out doesn't mean I am going to use them on you.
Lafayette: Go tell your mama that two faggots whooped your ass!
Sam: You're just a scared man in saggy underpants with no discernible life skills.
Summer: I really like you Hoyt and I really want you to taste my biscuits.
Jason: I didn't think I was smart enough to get depressed.
Talbot: Franklin's brains won't wash off the guest linens, I had to bury werewolves under the gazebo, and that Sookie bitch staked Lorena. I've had enough excitement, thank you.
Russell: Poor Talbot. Are your diamond slippers chafing?
Talbot: I'm bored. Take off your clothes.
Alcide: You can read minds and shoot light out of your fingers. Who am I to tell you what's best for you?
Arlene: That's Tara. She's all bark and, well, she bites, too.
Tara: Maybe you can flirt some sense into that girl 'cause logic sure ain't working.
Tara: Know what you sound like? One of those country songs about dumb bitches that let their men beat on them and cheat on them, all in the name of true love.
Sookie: Did you just call me a dumb bitch?
Jason: You got no right being in my head. That's... trespassing.
Eric: I enjoy a good head-ripping as much as any vampire, but in this case it might be wise to consider the value of the heads in question.
Talbot [to Russell]: You're acting like a century-old child!
Sookie: Just once I'd like to not find a dead body in my house. Is that asking too much?
Russell: We will eat you, after we eat your children. Now time for the weather... Tiffany?
Russell: Mine is the true face of vampires!
Franklin: I'll mourn you, Tara. I'll mourn you to my very marrow.
Lafayette's mother: I'll be damned. Maybe God loves fags!
Sookie: As much as you wanna be human, I think I'm closer to meeting you halfway to vampire.
Sookie: I don't know how you did things in the 1800s, but keeping a file on the woman you love is... creepy.
Terry: Arlene, I want to marry you. And together we will surround that baby with more love than it can handle.
Summer: I can tell you're a sexual person, Hoyt Fortenberry... I know God wants girls to wait, but I'm right about you.
Jessica: We get it. You don't like vampires. Well, I don't like narrow-minded skinny bitches with bad dye jobs.
Lafayette: Them fuckers is a whole new dimension of trash.
Bill: Sookie, it is not your blood I love. I love you. Your heart, your mind, your soul... you have brought light back into my life.
Bill [to Sookie]: Yours is the most delicious blood I've ever tasted. That's all I know.
Sookie: I'm a fairy? How fuckin lame!
Bill: It is more important than ever that we restrain ourselves, even if it is against our nature.
Eric: If I meet the true death without at least kissing you, Sookie Stackhouse, that will be my biggest regret.
Jason: Everyone in this town ain't what they're supposed to be. So... you turn into a panther. I love you.
Sookie: What would we be if we were normal? I can't even picture it.
Tara: No one cares about Eggs except me, and I'll miss him for the rest of my life.
Summer: I opened up my heart to him. I showed him my best underwear. There's nothing else I can do.
Sookie: I love you, Bill, but after this Mississippi mess, I'd be crazy to just trust either of you.
Russell [to Eric]: You are nothing more than a lump of muscle with a blood grudge.
Crystal: All I gotta do is marry my half-brother and let him breed me until I'm old or dead.
Lafayette: We could end up in Hell, or fuckin' South Dakota.
Pam: This is not just about your relationship, you infatuated tween. There's a bigger picture.
Eric [to Pam]: You know I love you more when you're cold and heartless.
Eric [to Russell]: Be brave. We'll die together.
Tara: Don't you think being a shape-shifter is something you should tell someone before you sleep with them.
Sookie: Stepping around the fact that your word is worth about as much as tits on a turtle.
Eric: If you two are done eye-fucking each other, can we go?
Jason: Sometimes the right thing to do is the wrong thing. I know I did the right thing.
Lafayette: You're a witch, who's a nurse, and a dude? How did I get so lucky?
Sookie: I feel better protecting myself, now that I know I am basically vampire crack.
True Blood: Season Two
Jason Stackhouse: When you love someone, you gotta love it all. Otherwise it ain't love.
Bill Compton: Your bedtime will be at 4 a.m. and not a minute later. And whilst you're under my roof, hunting is completely forbidden.
Jessica Hamby: Like I'd know where to find people in the bum-fucked town! Are we even in a town?
Maryann Forrester: Ms. Thornton. MaryAnn Forrester. I've heard all about you. What a rare opportunity this is. I've always wondered what it'd be like to gaze into the eyes of some one so devoid of human compassion. That she would abandoned her own child when she needed you the most.
Maryann Forrester: The Greeks knew there was the flimsiest veil between us and the divine.
Eggs: We're all luckier than we can imagine.
Sam Merlotte: I can't be what ever you want, when ever you want anymore. I'm tired of charin' my ass on your back burner.
Sookie Stackhouse: Oh my god. Is it that easy for you to kill? Does human life mean so little, you can just kill on command? Toss someone in the water? I can't have people dyin' everytime I confide in you. I never felt more inhuman than when I had to kill Rene. It still haunts me and now you're made me feel like I killed another person. I feel sick... I always thought as different as we are, some how we can still be together. And now I don't know. I don't know anything.
Bill Compton: Sookie... I cannot and I will not lose you. For all the ways I have dismayed, aggrieved or failed you, I swear I will atone. But I am not sorry. I refuse to apologize for what you have awakened in me. You, you are my miracle, Sookie. For the first time in a hundred and forty years, I felt something I thought had been lost to me forever... I love you.
Royce: I'm sorry I hassled you about bein' gay. If it makes you feel any better once when I was fifteen at Safety Patrol camp I let my bunkmate blow me.
Sookie Stackhouse: We've never had 'make up' sex before.
Bill Compton: How does it compare to 'you thought I was dead' sex?
Sookie Stackhouse: You know you might wanna try going a little easier on her. It's hard enough being a teenager without...
Sookie Stackhouse: How is that any different from being a teenage girl? No humanity, check. In the grips of overwhelming transformations, check. Cannot control impulses, check. Alright, uh... how is that different?
Pam: I thought prostitutes were good at keeping secrets.
Lafayette Reynolds: Oh, don't get it twisted honeycone. I'm a survivor first, capitalist second and a whole bunch of shit after that. But a hooker dead last! So if I've got even a Jew at an Al Qaida pep rally's shot at getting my black ass up out of this motherfucker I'm taking it!
Tara Thornton: How many times do I have to tell you comin' into work when you don't have to is pathetic. It's like goin' back to high school and visitin' your teachers.
Tara Thornton: So basically you're like a step-mother to a vampire?
Sookie Stackhouse: Sweetie, vampires don't cry regular tears. So when you cry, you're gonna cry blood from now on.
Maryann: Abracadabra, Sam. What I just did to you, I can do anytime, anywhere. So unless you want your customers to know your little secret, you better thick twice before you threaten me ever again. Do we understand each other?
Sookie Stackhouse: I don't normally curse. But you have seriously fucked me here!
Jessica Hamby: Hey, I know and I'm sorry. But I swear it was like it wasn't even me doing it. It must be all those new vampire impulse control issues.
Sookie Stackhouse: Fuck your impulse control issues!
Lafayette Reynolds: Not if you turn me. I'd be good as ever. Look I'm already a person of poor moral character. So, I hit the ground running and I damn near glamor people already. Gimme what ya'll got. Not only will I be a badass vampire, but I'd be your badass vampire.
Sarah Newlin: Keep in mind that your ring is made out of pure silver. Protect it with your heart because one day it might protect you.
Lafayette Reynolds: And you can put me to work in the bar. I'm a good dancer, you've seen it on my site. Shit, I'd get up there and move earth and heaven Go-Go style.
Sookie Stackhouse: The more open my mind gets, the more evil I see.
Steve Newlin: You know Sarah doesn't whip out her pudding for just anybody.
Hoyt Fortenberry: This might sound kind of funny, but I was just sitting there thinking, "How come you don't ever meet a nice girl, Hoyt?" And then you just walked right in.
Jessica Hamby: How do you know I'm a nice girl?
Hoyt Fortenberry: 'Cause of your smile, I guess. You can tell a lot about someone by the way they smile.
Eric Northman: I imagine she's referring to the human in my basement... The human who traded sexual services with a vampire in order to sell his blood - which as you know is a grave offense.
Sarah Newlin: When the vampires came out of the coffin, I went with my big sister Amber to march for their equal rights. Two months later, Amber disappeared. Got hooked on V. I know they killed her. Got rid of her body in whatever way they do.
Eric Northman: You surprise me. That is rare quality in a breather.
Bill Compton: She is a vampire! She has no family!
Jessica Hamby: I'm a monster and I'm gonna be alone forever because of you!
Bill Compton: That does not give you license to behave like an irresponsible child! She is a loaded gun, Sookie. Not a doll for you to dress up and play with!
Tara Thornton: You can't expect her to learn if you don't give her any positive reinforcement.
Jason Stackhouse: Dear God. You gotta help me out. I don't know what's right or wrong no more. Maybe I never did. Just... please, please give me another sign. 'Cause I'm lost. I'm so fuckin' lost.
Ginger: That's the thing about being with vamps, ain't it? You always forget to eat. I've lost 37 pounds since I got this job. Way better than fat farm.
Eric Northman: Your human is getting cocky.
Sookie Stackhouse: I use to get so mad when people judged vampires just for being different. It's like they were judging me too. I told myself their fear was nothing but small mindedness. But maybe that's what I wanted to believe. 'Cause the more open my mind gets, the more evil I see.
Jason Stackhouse: Evil is makin' the pre-medicated choice to be a dick.
Sookie Stackhouse: You can't just sit around waiting for your perfect idea of a man to come along. Life is way too damn short.
Jason Stackhouse: Vampires are not a joke! There's a war goin' on and you're either on the dark side or you're on the side of the light! And there ain't no in between!
Jessica Hamby: I know you feel like shit because you had to make me and you should feel like shit! But guess what? I'd never kissed a boy before that. Meetin' Hoyt is the only good thing that's happened to me since... my whole new life started. No, I'm not ready for any thing to happen to fast. I-I'd been happy just to go on kissin' him all night long... Is it my fault my fangs come out when I get turned on?
Maryann Forrester: Go, flourish and don't ever say 'no' to yourself.
Tara Thornton: I always cry on my birthday. It's always the worst day. No matter what I do, I end up cryin'. 'Cause my birthday always sucks.
Sam Merlotte: As what ever the hell you are. A witch, a sorceress, a demon, I don't know what you are. I don't know what you're doing here, but these are people I care about. And I will not stand by if you try and hurt any of them.
Eric Northman: I admire you Bill it takes a real vampire to admit he cannot protect his human.
Bill Compton: And it takes a true monster to not care about anyone or anything other then himself.
Godric: What you love most... life.
Daphne: You're carrying that secret like a two-ton sack of feed on your back and it doesn't have to be that way.
Bill Compton: I would no more allow you to feed on that young man than to watch pornography on television!
Sam Merlotte: Well 'sorry''s not good enough. Not only did you leave us high and dry. But there are people here who give a shit about you. We didn't know if you were alive or dead... You know ordinarily, right about now you'd be telling me to fuck off in some colorful and creative way. You wanna talk, do some talkin'.
Lorena: For a vampire, you're a terrible liar.
Sookie Stackhouse: Oh, right. You know in person she looks like vanilla pudding.
Tara Thornton: 'I don't know' isn't a place, Eggs! It's a state of mind. It's a state of mind I don't like being in!
Luke McDonald: Sex outside of marriage is a sin.
Luke McDonald: Well, let's say you're gonna do it outta wedlock, gotta make sure the girl you do it to ain't married either.
Jason Stackhouse: Right. 'Cause adultery's bad.
Luke McDonald: One of the worst, right up there with incest and beastiology. But all of 'em put together ain't half as bad as if you do it to a vampire. Or to a dude. Or a vampire dude. That's like creme de la creme sin. There ain't no repentance for that!
Bill Compton: If Sookie is hurt in any way because of you, I will not stop until I drive a stake through whatever semblance of a heart you have left.
Lorena: It's true. You're in love with a human. That's so tragic, it's funny.
Eric Northman: You've got to be joking me. 'This' is the Fellowship of the Sun? That's their army? Scared little boys with bibles and crossbows?
Isabel: Don't underestimate them. Support for their movement is growing. Their leadership camps are over flowing with self righteous extremists, all willing and ready to die for their cause.
Jason Stackhouse: It just don't make sense how something that wrong can feel so right.
Jessica Hamby: I'd have totally been a slut if I coulda gotten away with it. Me and my friend, Lori, we had this bet since eighth grade over who'd lose it first. And she was like pregnant before I even got my first kiss and my dad was sucha dick head. So what's your excuse?
Hoyt Fortenberry: I was gonna wait, you know, till I met the right one. Well the right one never showed up. By then I had waited so long, I figured I couldn't give it away to just anybody. So now I'm twenty-eight... most girls probably think I'm like some kinda bi-sexual gay or somethin'. Not that I got any kind of problem with them. But I'm not.
Jessica Hamby: I'm not most girls. I'm not even a girl, technically. But if you're okay with it... I'd be your first.
Maryann Forrester: Feeling sorry for things is just an excuse not to celebrate your own happiness.
Daphne: Bein' apart of something devine is worth dyin' a thousand time, you'll see.
Hugo: I use to be like you. Thought I was a real emancipated thinker. Especially when Isabel took me to bed. The sex was... amazing. The best ever... well, you know. It's addictive, isn't it? To be desired by something that powerful.
Hugo: I know he and his friends are having you do their dirty work. I mean a telepath's gotta be a real trophy for a vampire.
Lafayette Reynolds: First time in my god-damned life, I ain't chasin' after trouble and it just keeps walkin' through my front door. Loot at you. Damn! Ain't nothin' good can come outta somethin' so pretty.
Lorena: You're making a fool of yourself with that girl. You have no future with her. Everyone knows it but you... Some day you'll see this for what it is. An act of love.
Arlene Fowler: Thank Jesus Christ, Santa Clause, and Hari Krishna.
Sookie Stackhouse: He's your maker, isn't he?
Eric Northman: Don't use words you don't understand.
Sookie Stackhouse: You have a lot of love for him.
Eric Northman: Don't use words I don't understand.
Sarah Newlin: Oh, for heaven's sake, grow a brain cell. Paintballs!
Sarah Newlin: You Stackhouses are nothing but a bunch of heartless... two-faced... vampire-fuckers!
Steven Newlin: The war has begun, you evil whore of Satan. You vampires cast the first stone by killin' my family! The lines have been drawn. You're either with us or against us. We are prepared for armageddon.
Lorena: This human act you do for your girlfriend is charmin' and all. But we both know better.
Steve Newlin: That's noble, but she's just as culpable as you are. She's a traitor to her race. The human race. She hardly deserves mercy. Maybe we should tie her to you so you could meet the sun together.
Sookie Stackhouse: 'It's complicated' is not an answer. Every time I've needed you, you've always come runnin'. Even in broad day light. What kept you?
Eric Northman: The bond between a vampire and his maker is stronger than you can imagine. Perhaps one day you'll find out.
Sheriff Bud Dearborne: If it's like you said, that there's something out there that's fixin' to get you, than jail's about the safest place to spend the night.
Eric Northman: They do nothing but fan the flames of hatred for us.
Lorena: Oh, hello darling. I was just getting to know your plaything. You always did like to pray on the innocent.
Lorena: Did you know your boyfriend hit me over the head with a fifty-two inch plasma screen television earlier tonight? Everyone always they're so thin and light. But let me tell you when wielded properly, it's quite a weapon.
Godric: Indeed it is. You're old vampire. I can tell. You've had hundreds of years to better yourself, yet you are still a savage. I fear for us all. Humans and vampires, if this behavior persists.
Bill Compton: The pain you suffer you have inflicted upon yourself.
Lorena: We're immortal. Our paths are bound to cross eventually.
Steve Newlin: On the final day of reckoning, we'll see who goes to heaven and who goes to hell.
Jason Stackhouse: I reckon I've already been to heaven. It was inside your wife.
Hoyt’s mom: Girls who call boys at all hours of the night like that are only looking for one thing. Money.
Steve Newlin: How can you be a God loving person but love something God detests?
Bill Compton: It doesn't matter if we ever meet again. You may be immortal, Lorena. But you are dead to me.
Bill Compton: Eric has had a thousand years pratice at deceit... He lied to prove his power to me. He counted on your goodness. There's no shame in that.
Jessica Hamby: I'll get used to it. Maybe there's an operation. I can't be the only vampire virgin.
Hoyt Fortenberry: You know, intercourse isn't the only way to have sex.
Jessica Hamby: But I want to have intercourse.
Hoyt Fortenberry: Well sure... We can do everything when we figure out how.
Jessica Hamby: You should break up with me.
Hoyt Fortenberry: Hell no. That thing that growns back, it's just a thing. I ain't perfect either. I'm the guy people laugh at.
Maryann Forrester: Look at you. A few bumps and bruises? A small price to pay for bliss.
Jason Stackhouse: Our whole family's gone. Everybody who counts. We're all alone. We're all that's left.
Sookie Stackhouse: So you know what we gotta do. We gotta grow up. We gotta stick together and we gotta be good to each other or we're lettin' them down.
Sookie Stackhouse: I didn't have any say about being normal. We're born the way were are.
Arlene Fowler: She was clumsy, stupid and mean. But I wouldn't wish that kinda death on a possum.
Eric Northman: You're ruthless because of the people you love. You'll do anything for them. Your brother, your friends... me.
Sookie Stackhouse: God doesn't punish. God forgives.
Godric: A human with me at the end and human tears. Two-thousand years... and I can still be surprised. In this I see God.
Detective Andy Bellefleur: People thought I was crazy, 'cause I thought I saw a pig!
Lafayette Reynolds: This has got to be the worst motherfuckin' intervention in history.
Lafayette Reynolds: If ever there was a time to listen to a white man, Tara, this would be it.
Lafayette Reynolds: She don't need no backwoods witch. She needs Thorazine and a padded cell.
Terry Bellefleur: Bullshit. God has horns.
Sam Merlotte: Andy, listen to me. She is a super-natural creature and she is immortal. She has powers and she's not leavin' till she gets what she wants, which I think is me.
Lafayette Reynolds: Jesus and I agreed to see other people, now that don't mean we don't still talk from time to time.
Sophie-Anne: All this alpha-male posturing. Why don't the two of you just fuck each other and get it over with? I could watch.
Sophie-Anne: I haven't enjoyed sex with men since the Eisenhower administration.
Sophie-Anne: What gives you the right to say 'no' to the femoral blood of a good human? You know what your problem is, William? You're a snob. I hate snobs. Tiny, tiny souls or penis's.
Sophie-Anne: I have several new members at court. A Latvian boy, has to be tasted to be believed. Not polluted like most humans. Just exactly the way they use to taste just after I was turned. Before the Industrial Revolution fucked everything to hell. Should I summon him?
Sophie-Anne: Never under-estimate the power of blind faith. It manifests in ways that bend the laws of physics or breaks them entirely.
Tara Thornton: We have to go get him. Eggs needs to get out now! How many times have you put yourself in danger for the man you love? How come you get that option and I don't? I finally found a strong, beautiful man who loves me, and y'all wanna keep me from rescuing him because you're afraid I might get hurt? How hurt do you think I'm gonna be if we wait and something happens to him!
Jason Stackhouse: Sometimes you need to destroy something to save it. That's in the Bible or the Constitution.
Sookie Stackhouse: Like there was no limit. Like anything could happen and probably will. You feel your insides expanding but there's also this... this emptying out right at the very center of your being and you don't want it to stop, ever.
Lafayette Reynolds: He's always in my head. Sex dreams is all kinda nasty and fantastic, which freaks me the fuck outs because I hates that mother-fucker more than you'll ever know.
Maryann Forrester: A ritual is a powerful thing and calling forth that kind of energy... that's god's ritual.
Eric Northman: Oh come on, Pam. They're funny. They're like humans, but miniature. Teacup humans.
Sophie-Anne: Maenads are sad, silly things... the world changed centuries ago and they're still waiting for the God who comes.
Sophie-Anne: Of course not. Gods never actually show up, they only exist in humans' minds, like money and morality.
Detective Andy Bellefleur: Well yeah, women do just throw themselves at you. You don't even have to do anything.
Jason Stackhouse: Yeah well, actually I do. I work out like a mother-fucker and I watch a lotta porn to learn stuff. What else?... My best friend killed my grandma and my girlfriend. I come from no money. My momma and daddy died when I was eleven.
Detective Andy Bellefleur: So did mine!
Jason Stackhouse: Your daddy died in Vietnam, but your momma ran off with some yankee race car driver. You may hate me, Andy Bellefleur. You may think you're better than me and maybe you are. But you and me are the ones who have received the callin' to save this town! So obviously God wants us to bury the hatchet.
Jason Stackhouse: 'Cause I ain't never taken any pussy away from you. There is more than enough pussy to go around.
Jason Stackhouse: This town might be full of crazy rednecks and dumb-asses, but they're still Americans.
Jason Stackhouse: It's like if a tree falls in the woods, it's still a tree ain't it?
Sookie Stackhouse: I'm a waitress. What the fuck are you?
Maxine Fortenberry: What would it do you to keep your own mother locked up in her own house. Norman Bates!
Hoyt Fortenberry: You know I'm going to take everything you've said for the last two days, about me, about daddy and I'm gonna lock it up in a little box and I'm gonna forget it ever happened.
Maxine Fortenberry: This is bigger than your petty little feelings. A god is coming into our midst. Does any part of your puny brain understand what that means?
Hoyt Fortenberry: We're stayin' home!
Maryann Forrester: He is the vessel. He appeared to me naked. A virgin drawn to the very statue that represents the birth of my god. 'Should have sacrificed him than and there. But I foolishly let him get away.
Maryann Forrester: It's the food of the gods. My husband will love it. It's the very thing that gives him life.
Sophie Anne: It's pure luck. Yahtzee is the most egalitarian game in the world. You could be my social, physical or intellectual inferior, but your chances are equal to mine. It's the perfect antidote for this world, where things of inferiority and superiority do matter.
Sophie Anne: You may be the strongest, oldest vampire in my queendom, but if I wanted I could own your fangs as earrings!
Sam Merlotte: Well, never say never when there's the Internet.
Sam Merlotte: You saw me turn into a dog. So apparently that was worth abandoning me over. I spent the next nineteen years making sure nobody knew what I really was. That's what you left me with.
Bill Compton: I love nothing more than to see you happy. It's really quite selfish.
Sookie Stackhouse: It's a good thing you don't eat, 'cause I wouldn't share it with anyone. I think of a better way to top off the best meal of my life.
Eric Northman: I do not love humans.
Sophie-Anne: One vampire falling in love is bad enough.
Coralee: God bless who ever made those jeans! I swear, I'd wear him like a scrunchie!
Jason: That sonuvabitch. It's like he sucked out my brain and planted all his own babies there.
Terry: I want you to imagine a golden, glowing ball, radiating warmth and safety.
Eric: The vampires here, they're like cowboys. If they don't get Godric back they'll want justice. They'll start attacking people.
Daphne: If you're worried about me seeing you naked, I have seen boy parts before and water ain't exactly opaque.
Hoyt: You should try the chicken fried steak. It's like a chicken and a steak got together and made a baby. A delicious, crispy baby
Jessica: This is so embarrassing. I'd die if I wasn't already dead
Bill Compton: Your bedtime will be at 4 a.m. and not a minute later. And whilst you're under my roof, hunting is completely forbidden.
Jessica Hamby: Like I'd know where to find people in the bum-fucked town! Are we even in a town?
Maryann Forrester: Ms. Thornton. MaryAnn Forrester. I've heard all about you. What a rare opportunity this is. I've always wondered what it'd be like to gaze into the eyes of some one so devoid of human compassion. That she would abandoned her own child when she needed you the most.
Maryann Forrester: The Greeks knew there was the flimsiest veil between us and the divine.
Eggs: We're all luckier than we can imagine.
Sam Merlotte: I can't be what ever you want, when ever you want anymore. I'm tired of charin' my ass on your back burner.
Sookie Stackhouse: Oh my god. Is it that easy for you to kill? Does human life mean so little, you can just kill on command? Toss someone in the water? I can't have people dyin' everytime I confide in you. I never felt more inhuman than when I had to kill Rene. It still haunts me and now you're made me feel like I killed another person. I feel sick... I always thought as different as we are, some how we can still be together. And now I don't know. I don't know anything.
Bill Compton: Sookie... I cannot and I will not lose you. For all the ways I have dismayed, aggrieved or failed you, I swear I will atone. But I am not sorry. I refuse to apologize for what you have awakened in me. You, you are my miracle, Sookie. For the first time in a hundred and forty years, I felt something I thought had been lost to me forever... I love you.
Royce: I'm sorry I hassled you about bein' gay. If it makes you feel any better once when I was fifteen at Safety Patrol camp I let my bunkmate blow me.
Sookie Stackhouse: We've never had 'make up' sex before.
Bill Compton: How does it compare to 'you thought I was dead' sex?
Sookie Stackhouse: You know you might wanna try going a little easier on her. It's hard enough being a teenager without...
Sookie Stackhouse: How is that any different from being a teenage girl? No humanity, check. In the grips of overwhelming transformations, check. Cannot control impulses, check. Alright, uh... how is that different?
Pam: I thought prostitutes were good at keeping secrets.
Lafayette Reynolds: Oh, don't get it twisted honeycone. I'm a survivor first, capitalist second and a whole bunch of shit after that. But a hooker dead last! So if I've got even a Jew at an Al Qaida pep rally's shot at getting my black ass up out of this motherfucker I'm taking it!
Tara Thornton: How many times do I have to tell you comin' into work when you don't have to is pathetic. It's like goin' back to high school and visitin' your teachers.
Tara Thornton: So basically you're like a step-mother to a vampire?
Sookie Stackhouse: Sweetie, vampires don't cry regular tears. So when you cry, you're gonna cry blood from now on.
Maryann: Abracadabra, Sam. What I just did to you, I can do anytime, anywhere. So unless you want your customers to know your little secret, you better thick twice before you threaten me ever again. Do we understand each other?
Sookie Stackhouse: I don't normally curse. But you have seriously fucked me here!
Jessica Hamby: Hey, I know and I'm sorry. But I swear it was like it wasn't even me doing it. It must be all those new vampire impulse control issues.
Sookie Stackhouse: Fuck your impulse control issues!
Lafayette Reynolds: Not if you turn me. I'd be good as ever. Look I'm already a person of poor moral character. So, I hit the ground running and I damn near glamor people already. Gimme what ya'll got. Not only will I be a badass vampire, but I'd be your badass vampire.
Sarah Newlin: Keep in mind that your ring is made out of pure silver. Protect it with your heart because one day it might protect you.
Lafayette Reynolds: And you can put me to work in the bar. I'm a good dancer, you've seen it on my site. Shit, I'd get up there and move earth and heaven Go-Go style.
Sookie Stackhouse: The more open my mind gets, the more evil I see.
Steve Newlin: You know Sarah doesn't whip out her pudding for just anybody.
Hoyt Fortenberry: This might sound kind of funny, but I was just sitting there thinking, "How come you don't ever meet a nice girl, Hoyt?" And then you just walked right in.
Jessica Hamby: How do you know I'm a nice girl?
Hoyt Fortenberry: 'Cause of your smile, I guess. You can tell a lot about someone by the way they smile.
Eric Northman: I imagine she's referring to the human in my basement... The human who traded sexual services with a vampire in order to sell his blood - which as you know is a grave offense.
Sarah Newlin: When the vampires came out of the coffin, I went with my big sister Amber to march for their equal rights. Two months later, Amber disappeared. Got hooked on V. I know they killed her. Got rid of her body in whatever way they do.
Eric Northman: You surprise me. That is rare quality in a breather.
Bill Compton: She is a vampire! She has no family!
Jessica Hamby: I'm a monster and I'm gonna be alone forever because of you!
Bill Compton: That does not give you license to behave like an irresponsible child! She is a loaded gun, Sookie. Not a doll for you to dress up and play with!
Tara Thornton: You can't expect her to learn if you don't give her any positive reinforcement.
Jason Stackhouse: Dear God. You gotta help me out. I don't know what's right or wrong no more. Maybe I never did. Just... please, please give me another sign. 'Cause I'm lost. I'm so fuckin' lost.
Ginger: That's the thing about being with vamps, ain't it? You always forget to eat. I've lost 37 pounds since I got this job. Way better than fat farm.
Eric Northman: Your human is getting cocky.
Sookie Stackhouse: I use to get so mad when people judged vampires just for being different. It's like they were judging me too. I told myself their fear was nothing but small mindedness. But maybe that's what I wanted to believe. 'Cause the more open my mind gets, the more evil I see.
Jason Stackhouse: Evil is makin' the pre-medicated choice to be a dick.
Sookie Stackhouse: You can't just sit around waiting for your perfect idea of a man to come along. Life is way too damn short.
Jason Stackhouse: Vampires are not a joke! There's a war goin' on and you're either on the dark side or you're on the side of the light! And there ain't no in between!
Jessica Hamby: I know you feel like shit because you had to make me and you should feel like shit! But guess what? I'd never kissed a boy before that. Meetin' Hoyt is the only good thing that's happened to me since... my whole new life started. No, I'm not ready for any thing to happen to fast. I-I'd been happy just to go on kissin' him all night long... Is it my fault my fangs come out when I get turned on?
Maryann Forrester: Go, flourish and don't ever say 'no' to yourself.
Tara Thornton: I always cry on my birthday. It's always the worst day. No matter what I do, I end up cryin'. 'Cause my birthday always sucks.
Sam Merlotte: As what ever the hell you are. A witch, a sorceress, a demon, I don't know what you are. I don't know what you're doing here, but these are people I care about. And I will not stand by if you try and hurt any of them.
Eric Northman: I admire you Bill it takes a real vampire to admit he cannot protect his human.
Bill Compton: And it takes a true monster to not care about anyone or anything other then himself.
Godric: What you love most... life.
Daphne: You're carrying that secret like a two-ton sack of feed on your back and it doesn't have to be that way.
Bill Compton: I would no more allow you to feed on that young man than to watch pornography on television!
Sam Merlotte: Well 'sorry''s not good enough. Not only did you leave us high and dry. But there are people here who give a shit about you. We didn't know if you were alive or dead... You know ordinarily, right about now you'd be telling me to fuck off in some colorful and creative way. You wanna talk, do some talkin'.
Lorena: For a vampire, you're a terrible liar.
Sookie Stackhouse: Oh, right. You know in person she looks like vanilla pudding.
Tara Thornton: 'I don't know' isn't a place, Eggs! It's a state of mind. It's a state of mind I don't like being in!
Luke McDonald: Sex outside of marriage is a sin.
Luke McDonald: Well, let's say you're gonna do it outta wedlock, gotta make sure the girl you do it to ain't married either.
Jason Stackhouse: Right. 'Cause adultery's bad.
Luke McDonald: One of the worst, right up there with incest and beastiology. But all of 'em put together ain't half as bad as if you do it to a vampire. Or to a dude. Or a vampire dude. That's like creme de la creme sin. There ain't no repentance for that!
Bill Compton: If Sookie is hurt in any way because of you, I will not stop until I drive a stake through whatever semblance of a heart you have left.
Lorena: It's true. You're in love with a human. That's so tragic, it's funny.
Eric Northman: You've got to be joking me. 'This' is the Fellowship of the Sun? That's their army? Scared little boys with bibles and crossbows?
Isabel: Don't underestimate them. Support for their movement is growing. Their leadership camps are over flowing with self righteous extremists, all willing and ready to die for their cause.
Jason Stackhouse: It just don't make sense how something that wrong can feel so right.
Jessica Hamby: I'd have totally been a slut if I coulda gotten away with it. Me and my friend, Lori, we had this bet since eighth grade over who'd lose it first. And she was like pregnant before I even got my first kiss and my dad was sucha dick head. So what's your excuse?
Hoyt Fortenberry: I was gonna wait, you know, till I met the right one. Well the right one never showed up. By then I had waited so long, I figured I couldn't give it away to just anybody. So now I'm twenty-eight... most girls probably think I'm like some kinda bi-sexual gay or somethin'. Not that I got any kind of problem with them. But I'm not.
Jessica Hamby: I'm not most girls. I'm not even a girl, technically. But if you're okay with it... I'd be your first.
Maryann Forrester: Feeling sorry for things is just an excuse not to celebrate your own happiness.
Daphne: Bein' apart of something devine is worth dyin' a thousand time, you'll see.
Hugo: I use to be like you. Thought I was a real emancipated thinker. Especially when Isabel took me to bed. The sex was... amazing. The best ever... well, you know. It's addictive, isn't it? To be desired by something that powerful.
Hugo: I know he and his friends are having you do their dirty work. I mean a telepath's gotta be a real trophy for a vampire.
Lafayette Reynolds: First time in my god-damned life, I ain't chasin' after trouble and it just keeps walkin' through my front door. Loot at you. Damn! Ain't nothin' good can come outta somethin' so pretty.
Lorena: You're making a fool of yourself with that girl. You have no future with her. Everyone knows it but you... Some day you'll see this for what it is. An act of love.
Arlene Fowler: Thank Jesus Christ, Santa Clause, and Hari Krishna.
Sookie Stackhouse: He's your maker, isn't he?
Eric Northman: Don't use words you don't understand.
Sookie Stackhouse: You have a lot of love for him.
Eric Northman: Don't use words I don't understand.
Sarah Newlin: Oh, for heaven's sake, grow a brain cell. Paintballs!
Sarah Newlin: You Stackhouses are nothing but a bunch of heartless... two-faced... vampire-fuckers!
Steven Newlin: The war has begun, you evil whore of Satan. You vampires cast the first stone by killin' my family! The lines have been drawn. You're either with us or against us. We are prepared for armageddon.
Lorena: This human act you do for your girlfriend is charmin' and all. But we both know better.
Steve Newlin: That's noble, but she's just as culpable as you are. She's a traitor to her race. The human race. She hardly deserves mercy. Maybe we should tie her to you so you could meet the sun together.
Sookie Stackhouse: 'It's complicated' is not an answer. Every time I've needed you, you've always come runnin'. Even in broad day light. What kept you?
Eric Northman: The bond between a vampire and his maker is stronger than you can imagine. Perhaps one day you'll find out.
Sheriff Bud Dearborne: If it's like you said, that there's something out there that's fixin' to get you, than jail's about the safest place to spend the night.
Eric Northman: They do nothing but fan the flames of hatred for us.
Lorena: Oh, hello darling. I was just getting to know your plaything. You always did like to pray on the innocent.
Lorena: Did you know your boyfriend hit me over the head with a fifty-two inch plasma screen television earlier tonight? Everyone always they're so thin and light. But let me tell you when wielded properly, it's quite a weapon.
Godric: Indeed it is. You're old vampire. I can tell. You've had hundreds of years to better yourself, yet you are still a savage. I fear for us all. Humans and vampires, if this behavior persists.
Bill Compton: The pain you suffer you have inflicted upon yourself.
Lorena: We're immortal. Our paths are bound to cross eventually.
Steve Newlin: On the final day of reckoning, we'll see who goes to heaven and who goes to hell.
Jason Stackhouse: I reckon I've already been to heaven. It was inside your wife.
Hoyt’s mom: Girls who call boys at all hours of the night like that are only looking for one thing. Money.
Steve Newlin: How can you be a God loving person but love something God detests?
Bill Compton: It doesn't matter if we ever meet again. You may be immortal, Lorena. But you are dead to me.
Bill Compton: Eric has had a thousand years pratice at deceit... He lied to prove his power to me. He counted on your goodness. There's no shame in that.
Jessica Hamby: I'll get used to it. Maybe there's an operation. I can't be the only vampire virgin.
Hoyt Fortenberry: You know, intercourse isn't the only way to have sex.
Jessica Hamby: But I want to have intercourse.
Hoyt Fortenberry: Well sure... We can do everything when we figure out how.
Jessica Hamby: You should break up with me.
Hoyt Fortenberry: Hell no. That thing that growns back, it's just a thing. I ain't perfect either. I'm the guy people laugh at.
Maryann Forrester: Look at you. A few bumps and bruises? A small price to pay for bliss.
Jason Stackhouse: Our whole family's gone. Everybody who counts. We're all alone. We're all that's left.
Sookie Stackhouse: So you know what we gotta do. We gotta grow up. We gotta stick together and we gotta be good to each other or we're lettin' them down.
Sookie Stackhouse: I didn't have any say about being normal. We're born the way were are.
Arlene Fowler: She was clumsy, stupid and mean. But I wouldn't wish that kinda death on a possum.
Eric Northman: You're ruthless because of the people you love. You'll do anything for them. Your brother, your friends... me.
Sookie Stackhouse: God doesn't punish. God forgives.
Godric: A human with me at the end and human tears. Two-thousand years... and I can still be surprised. In this I see God.
Detective Andy Bellefleur: People thought I was crazy, 'cause I thought I saw a pig!
Lafayette Reynolds: This has got to be the worst motherfuckin' intervention in history.
Lafayette Reynolds: If ever there was a time to listen to a white man, Tara, this would be it.
Lafayette Reynolds: She don't need no backwoods witch. She needs Thorazine and a padded cell.
Terry Bellefleur: Bullshit. God has horns.
Sam Merlotte: Andy, listen to me. She is a super-natural creature and she is immortal. She has powers and she's not leavin' till she gets what she wants, which I think is me.
Lafayette Reynolds: Jesus and I agreed to see other people, now that don't mean we don't still talk from time to time.
Sophie-Anne: All this alpha-male posturing. Why don't the two of you just fuck each other and get it over with? I could watch.
Sophie-Anne: I haven't enjoyed sex with men since the Eisenhower administration.
Sophie-Anne: What gives you the right to say 'no' to the femoral blood of a good human? You know what your problem is, William? You're a snob. I hate snobs. Tiny, tiny souls or penis's.
Sophie-Anne: I have several new members at court. A Latvian boy, has to be tasted to be believed. Not polluted like most humans. Just exactly the way they use to taste just after I was turned. Before the Industrial Revolution fucked everything to hell. Should I summon him?
Sophie-Anne: Never under-estimate the power of blind faith. It manifests in ways that bend the laws of physics or breaks them entirely.
Tara Thornton: We have to go get him. Eggs needs to get out now! How many times have you put yourself in danger for the man you love? How come you get that option and I don't? I finally found a strong, beautiful man who loves me, and y'all wanna keep me from rescuing him because you're afraid I might get hurt? How hurt do you think I'm gonna be if we wait and something happens to him!
Jason Stackhouse: Sometimes you need to destroy something to save it. That's in the Bible or the Constitution.
Sookie Stackhouse: Like there was no limit. Like anything could happen and probably will. You feel your insides expanding but there's also this... this emptying out right at the very center of your being and you don't want it to stop, ever.
Lafayette Reynolds: He's always in my head. Sex dreams is all kinda nasty and fantastic, which freaks me the fuck outs because I hates that mother-fucker more than you'll ever know.
Maryann Forrester: A ritual is a powerful thing and calling forth that kind of energy... that's god's ritual.
Eric Northman: Oh come on, Pam. They're funny. They're like humans, but miniature. Teacup humans.
Sophie-Anne: Maenads are sad, silly things... the world changed centuries ago and they're still waiting for the God who comes.
Sophie-Anne: Of course not. Gods never actually show up, they only exist in humans' minds, like money and morality.
Detective Andy Bellefleur: Well yeah, women do just throw themselves at you. You don't even have to do anything.
Jason Stackhouse: Yeah well, actually I do. I work out like a mother-fucker and I watch a lotta porn to learn stuff. What else?... My best friend killed my grandma and my girlfriend. I come from no money. My momma and daddy died when I was eleven.
Detective Andy Bellefleur: So did mine!
Jason Stackhouse: Your daddy died in Vietnam, but your momma ran off with some yankee race car driver. You may hate me, Andy Bellefleur. You may think you're better than me and maybe you are. But you and me are the ones who have received the callin' to save this town! So obviously God wants us to bury the hatchet.
Jason Stackhouse: 'Cause I ain't never taken any pussy away from you. There is more than enough pussy to go around.
Jason Stackhouse: This town might be full of crazy rednecks and dumb-asses, but they're still Americans.
Jason Stackhouse: It's like if a tree falls in the woods, it's still a tree ain't it?
Sookie Stackhouse: I'm a waitress. What the fuck are you?
Maxine Fortenberry: What would it do you to keep your own mother locked up in her own house. Norman Bates!
Hoyt Fortenberry: You know I'm going to take everything you've said for the last two days, about me, about daddy and I'm gonna lock it up in a little box and I'm gonna forget it ever happened.
Maxine Fortenberry: This is bigger than your petty little feelings. A god is coming into our midst. Does any part of your puny brain understand what that means?
Hoyt Fortenberry: We're stayin' home!
Maryann Forrester: He is the vessel. He appeared to me naked. A virgin drawn to the very statue that represents the birth of my god. 'Should have sacrificed him than and there. But I foolishly let him get away.
Maryann Forrester: It's the food of the gods. My husband will love it. It's the very thing that gives him life.
Sophie Anne: It's pure luck. Yahtzee is the most egalitarian game in the world. You could be my social, physical or intellectual inferior, but your chances are equal to mine. It's the perfect antidote for this world, where things of inferiority and superiority do matter.
Sophie Anne: You may be the strongest, oldest vampire in my queendom, but if I wanted I could own your fangs as earrings!
Sam Merlotte: Well, never say never when there's the Internet.
Sam Merlotte: You saw me turn into a dog. So apparently that was worth abandoning me over. I spent the next nineteen years making sure nobody knew what I really was. That's what you left me with.
Bill Compton: I love nothing more than to see you happy. It's really quite selfish.
Sookie Stackhouse: It's a good thing you don't eat, 'cause I wouldn't share it with anyone. I think of a better way to top off the best meal of my life.
Eric Northman: I do not love humans.
Sophie-Anne: One vampire falling in love is bad enough.
Coralee: God bless who ever made those jeans! I swear, I'd wear him like a scrunchie!
Jason: That sonuvabitch. It's like he sucked out my brain and planted all his own babies there.
Terry: I want you to imagine a golden, glowing ball, radiating warmth and safety.
Eric: The vampires here, they're like cowboys. If they don't get Godric back they'll want justice. They'll start attacking people.
Daphne: If you're worried about me seeing you naked, I have seen boy parts before and water ain't exactly opaque.
Hoyt: You should try the chicken fried steak. It's like a chicken and a steak got together and made a baby. A delicious, crispy baby
Jessica: This is so embarrassing. I'd die if I wasn't already dead
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