Men in Black

This definitely rates about a 9.0 on my weird-shit-o-meter. - Agent J

MIB Guard: It's about time you guys got here. That pretty lady in there is causing all kinds of hell.

Laura: Half the time you were on your back!
Agent J: That's how I fight.

Grand Central Station Locker Creatures: K is back! The keeper of the light! All hail K! All hail K! Oh K can you see by the dawn's early light...

Agent J: Am I supposed to take advice on love from a dude that chases his own ass?
Frank the Pug: Easy pal... That's canine profiling, and I resent it.

Jeebs: Smoke 'em if you got them.

Agent J: Could I have your attention, please? [Neuralyzes the crowd.] Thank you for participating in our drill. Had this been an actual emergency, y'all would have been *eaten*. 'Cause you don't listen! You're ignorant! How's a man gonna come crashin' through the back of a subway win - that's the problem with all y'all New Yorkers! "Oh no, we've seen it all!" "Oh no, a 600 foot worm, save us Mr. black man!" I ask you nicely to move forward to the next car, y'all just sit there like... [Neuralyzes the crowd again.] The City of New York would like to thank you for participating in our drill. Hopefully you enjoyed our smaller, more energy-efficient subway cars. Watch your step, you all have a nice evening.