Nick: I could pretend to be more like you, Jess, and live on a sparkly rainbow and drive a unicorn around and just sing all the time.
Cece: What's your stripper name?
Jess: Uh, Rebecca Johnson.
Cece: Your stripper name is Rebecca Johnson?
Jess: Boobies Johnson. Two Boobs Johnson.
Schmidt: I'll take you through the whole thing. I'll be like your guide.
Jess: Like Gandolf through Middle Earth?
Schmidt: Probably not like... Okay, first of all, let's take the Lord of the Rings references and put them in a deep, dark cave, where no one's gonna find them. Ever.
Jess: Except Smeagle. He lives in a cave.
Jess: Pink wine makes me slutty.
Jess: I'm doing sexy things with the pillow.
Jess: Who's that girl? It's Jess.
Nick: Did you just make up a theme song for yourself?
Jess: I was going for like a hot farmer's daughter kind of thing, like, oh, I'm gonna go milk my cows.
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