One Tree Hill: Brooke Davis

Brooke's Philosophy on dating:
Brooke: Here's my philosophy on dating: it's important to have somebody who can make you laugh, somebody you can trust, somebody that, ya know, turns you on. And it's really, really important that these three people don't know each other.

All girls really want is someone to want them back.

Sometimes people play hard to get because they need to know that the other person's feelings are real.

A girl can do whatever she puts her mouth to.

Someone once said, "It's the good girls who keep diaries. The bad girls never have the time." I just wanna live a life I'm gonna remember. Even if I don't write it down

Don't cry for a guy, let a guy cry for you. Cause girls give and forgive, but guys get and forget.

Guys are easy. They usually fall for me over the first pathetic dinner.

Welcome to the dark side. Deception for lunch. Payback for dinner. Pie for lunch.

How about how you show it? I'm not pushing you away Lucas. I am holding on for dear life, but I need you to need me back. Okay, why wouldn't you tell me about the kiss and why didn't you call me while you were away and why won't you ever just let me all the way in? We have to go give our toasts now, about love.

This, Missy blond girl, is the Brooke Davis version of 'Spin the Bottle'. Only now, it's 'Spin the Body'. Watch. OK, you two have to make out. And last but not least; we have 'Five Minutes in the Elevator'.

Hey cutie! I saw your picture in the paper. Personally, I didn't think it did you justice.

Congratulations, Victoria, now you have a company and no daughter. You got your dream.

1 out of every 500 people gets assaulted or raped. There were over 30,000 aggravated assaults in our state alone last year. 7,000 robberies, 3,000 murders, 600 rapes. It's official, life sucks and then you die.

Do you know what my mother said to me when I told her I wanted to start a company? She said "your chances are one in a million" and I said "Maybe I'm that one" and she said "you're not.". And she was wrong. And whatever she thought she saw in me was wrong... Because I am one in a million and there is a child out there who has something so special inside of them but whose life is miserable because they think that nobody wants them. And I could be a great mother to that child, no matter their age or race or sex. I could help them find what makes them special. And if you can't see that, then you're wrong, just like my mother. Why don't you go ahead and write that down?

Well buddy, you found my birth control patches. Those fix a whole other problem. Next cabinet.

I don't wanna call him. It violates all the rules of dating. And yet, I'm gonna look like a desperate. He has to do us a favor and then he can make fun of me for it.

It has always been "Lucas and Peyton". You guys are meant to be together. It's the way it's supposed to be. So go and get your man. And this time, if he proposes please say "yes."

Duh! For Lucas. Game on, bitch!

Honey, Lindsey doesn't stand a chance, trust me. I have been the "Lindsey" between "Lucas and Peyton" and it is not a great place to be.

Are you kidding? You're Peyton Sawyer. The guy wrote a whole book about how much he loves you.

I know. You've had your "Lucas Stealing Face" since you picked me up from the airport.

I'm sorry, darling, you're not nearly bitchy enough to work in one of my stores.

Oh don't look away, second and third greatest nights in your life just walked back into your world.

You know love triangles are so high school.

We made it, didn't we? Through all the tragedy and jealousy and confusion. We made it.

I don't get it; he left with Rachel, why would he need ass?

That is your problem, you are so ungrateful.

Don't call me an idiot, bitch!

I'm the one with no prom dress, no boyfriend and a black eye, you get to go to prom with the boy you love, so you win. Why do you even care anymore?

Okay, my discomfort meter is pretty much pegged.

Peyton here. I like to steal boys but I'm afraid to tell them how I feel.

Okay. Peyton here again. Did I mention that if you love me you're probably gonna die soon? See mothers 1 and 2.

Oh then I guess your mom slept around even more than you do.

What are you laughing at? Your "I love you"'s send people to their grave.

Now I know how this dress looks on a witch.

Don't even try it. Please, the Fall Out Boy? I can spot him hitting - on - you from a mile away, and you were definitely returning fire.

I really really do love that big piece of sexy.

Your elevator list! Come on! The list of people you're allowed to have sex with if you're ever stuck in an elevator with them.

Details! It's like driving a car but into water, without a speed limit.

We are practically a beer commercial. It would be wrong not to take it. So let's go. Hop on, best friend.

No, not really. I don't know what hurts worse: you and Lucas sneaking around behind my back or you lying about it to my face.

The rest of the world's been waiting on you two idiots since high school.

Behave, or I will smack you.

They don't do that at real weddings, Skills.

That gown is tailor-made, so, no. And Peyton is gonna be okay.

And with that, boy time is over.

I believe in our lives we were all meant to do something. It does not matter when your success comes, success can come whenever you want it to.

I live with my friend Rachel, she is so funny and she had all this plastic surgery and she just got suspended and now... she is kind of... missing.

I guess now it's hoes over psychos.

I have a lot of skeletons in my closet, and apparently half of them are naked.

Did you do something slutty?

What do virgins talk about?

Check me out! I'm a smart virgin!

I'm not book smart, I'm Brooke smart and there is a big difference.

Shelly: Well, the door's always open.
Brooke: Just like Rachel's legs.

Brooke: A little late for a Clean Teen meeting, don't you think?
Rachel: What else does virgins have to do at night?

Well, I'd like to say yes. But, honestly I don't really think people can change. You know at the end of the day you are who you are, and it's probably who you've always been.

Rachel: Slut.
Brooke: Bitch.
Rachel: Whore... Well, I know I'm not in heaven 'cause they'd never let Brooke Davis' skanky ass through the gates.
Brooke: And your ass wouldn't fit. At least not the old one.

Before we end the night I just want to say a few words about Nathan and Haley. I told them once, not too long ago to be happy because someday they'd make us all believe in true love. And, they do. In a few days they're going to renew that love for all of us to see. But, in a way we see it every day. The only difference is that Haley will look fabulous in her dress by Clothes over Bros; which is kind of odd seeing as how she's marrying a bro. But, that's not the point, sorry. One rainy day Nathan Scott proposed to Haley James and the rest is a fairy tale...

Once upon a time in a kingdom far, far away a girl and a boy fell in love. And then another girl, supposedly a friend, secretly taped how they fell in love and decided use it against them. So tonight I give you an authentic and very unauthorized reenactment of Nathan and Haley, a fairy tale.

We're all gonna get our hope back Luke. It's just gonna take some of us longer than others, you know?

You should be ashamed of yourself. There are kids inside our school fearing for their lives right now, terrified that someones gonna put a gun in their face and pull the trigger and you want to know how I'm feeling? Our pain is not a commodity for you. It's not a news bite to boost your ratings because tomorrow or the next day or the next week when we go back to school, changed forever by a day that will never leave us where are you gonna be? At the next tragedy thrusting your microphone in the face of the next fractured person asking them how they feel? Lady that is not journalism. You are not contributing anything to society. You are buzzards circling the carnage but you prey on the living. That is how I'm feeling but something tells me you're not gonna air that.

The truth is, I don't really like to think about college 'cause that means high school's over. After graduation everyone will probably go play basketball, or sing, or start record labels. And I'll have to start all over - alone.

There are 82 letters in here, and they're all addressed to you. I wrote them all this summer. One a day, but I never sent them 'cause I was afraid....I was afraid of getting my heart broken again, like before. 'Cause you hurt me so bad, and I was afraid to be vulnerable. And I was afraid of you and the way that you make me feel. And I know that doesn't matter now after what I did, but I just thought that you should know. This was how I spent my summer Luke, wanting you... I was just too scared to admit it.

It was a fantasy draft Tim, you know like the fantasies you have about Nathan, not real.

Bevin, what the hell was going through your size two brain?!

Naked in the backseat? That's so last year it's two years ago.

This is our new post-game party palace. All it needs is a P. Sawyer makeover, a little paint, couple of those creepy nobody-understands-me drawings that you do and a batch of hot boys.

Come get the crabs at Carl's Crab Shack.

And once you lose yourself, you have two choices: Find the person you used to be or lose that person completely.

So you're probably looking at this and making fun of my outfit, right? Anyway, here's all you really need to know about today; if... you fat, dumb, sexual, and a guy, you're OK. If you're a girl, not so much. Please tell me that's changed in the future. Somebody tell me you've got love figured out, because I got news for you; it's pretty darn messy right now. But I guess it's always been that way. Wanting to be loved, to find somebody that makes your heart ache in a good way.. feel understood. So... if you're robots, or aliens, or something and you're watching this right now and that feeling no longer exists; well... you missed it... and I feel sorry for you. 'Cause as far as I can tell, that's what it's all about. And that's what I know it should be about.

I thought I knew you. But I guess it's easier to see what we want than to look for the truth. You think you know me but you don't. And that means you don't know what I can do. You see me as someone who's popular and who has all the answers but that's not true. I may not always know what I'm doing but I'll try to make things better. And when I make a mistake, because face it, we all do, I promise I'll ask for your help. I can't do this alone, but if you'll take a chance on me, we can do great things together. I promise if you believe in me, I'll find the courage to reach for your every dream. John F. Kennedy said, "the courage of life is a magnificent mixture of triumph and tragedy. A man does what he must, in spite of personal consequences, in spite of obstacles and dangers and pressures. And that is the basis of all morality."

Hi, I'm Brooke. We haven't been officially introduced, but you're dating my ex-boyfriend and I'm sleeping with your brother. So it looks like we have a lot in common.

It's another mechanic stripper! ... No. Just Lucas.

This means that I would actually have to study to get into college.

It's ok, we sold my pride around 8:30. I'd rather see you wearing my clothes than these 50 year old wannabes. So I'll give you the good friend discount.

Okay, guy in need of a clue. Here's one. Women send signals. That was a brush off. Before you dip into your shallow pool of wit, let me paint us a picture and save us both the trouble. Here's your evening. You are going to slink back off to your buddies, laugh this off, get wasted, go home, and make nice with yourself. But don't be thinking of me because even your fantasy of me isn't interested in you.

That doesn't really matter, Lucas 'cause in the end, it all hurts just the same.

People that are meant to be together always find their ways in the end.

All work and no Brooke makes Luke a boring boy.

We're young. We're fine. Let's do some damage.

Wanna know what I think? I think Nathan likes tutor girl. But I think tutor girl likes Lucas. And I know I like Lucas. And I don't know who the hell you like anymore. This is all turning into one big love ... rectangle plus one, whatever that is..

You're not afraid that the three of us will get sucked back down this Bermuda triangle chain of drama?

Since when does grounding imply to fitness?

The bad guys lie to get in your bed; the good guys lie to get in your heart.

No, I was partially naked. At one point I had mittens on cause it was cold.

Easy on the skanky innuendo!

This is like dance auditions for "Crap, the Musical."

I didn't want to wake you, sleeping bitchy.

Haley still loves you. All you have to do is take her back.

Somebody was being a full on diva skank.

Real thing beat the internet don't they?

I can't breathe. There's no room with Chris's ego!

Peyton: Buds over studs.
Brooke: Hoes over bros.

Lucas was my gangrene-infected, amputated limb.

Well, we have a nightly banjo duel and then there's the cousin swap, and on Friday nights we all take baths together!

Naked in the backseat is so last year, its two years ago.

I guess that's in the vows, huh? I wonder if you knew that when you signed up at the ripe old age of, like, 12.

Is being desperately horny, contagious?

No sex til our hearts catch up with our hormones.

Being in love sucks.

So what if I start sleep walking. And my pajamas accidentally fall off. And I end up in your bed?

There are deal breakers for 17 year old boys, even married ones. There are times to keep your mouth shut and there are times to lie. That was a lie time.

I'm not the most eloquent speaker, so I thought I would bother a few words from Shakespeare. 'Love is not love, which alters when it alteration finds. When life gets hard, when things change, true love remains the same.' I look at Haley and Nathan and somehow I feel safer. I don't know if I can explain that but they give me hope. And I'm afraid to say it out loud because maybe if life finds out it'll try to beat it out of them and that would be a shame. Because we all could use a little hope, you know? That feeling that everything is gonna be okay. And there's going to be someone there to help make sure of that. So, here's to Nathan and Haley. And here's to hope and a love that will not alter.

A kiss always means something.

Don't you dare! Don't you dare twist my words around to make yourself feel like you are not a back-stabbing two faced bitch, Peyton, because you are and you know it.

Happy Birthday Brooke, welcome to 18. You've certainly made a mess of it.

Second hand death flowers, thanks... shoot me now.

Yes it would, everything is Peyton's fault. Shes like a cursed rabbit's foot. Shes bad luck. [Haley laughs] I am serious, traitor girl. Do not take her side against me.

Why not Hometown Hussy because you've got that one in the bag.

Okay, listen to me. Who I am and how I choose to live my life is none of your business.

What about my decision right now I'm making to kick your preachy ass?

Okay, I understand in your world it's black and white, but in the real world everything is just a little more complicated.

Burn me at the stake but I like boys and I like sex.

You have a virgin club and you're not a virgin.

You're either a virgin or not. And a pledge does not have broken hymen mend.

You're a hypocrite. you are walking around here preaching celibacy to everyone and you've already sold your cow, your milk or whatever.

Just think of it this way: most guys buy a motorcycle because they're compensating...for you know; Nathan wears a size 14.

Yeah, I don't hang out with "fake virgins".

Tree Hill High thinks I'm a slut. Lucas thinks I'm giving birth to Chris Keller the second and my gossipy roommate thinks I'd make a terrible mother, and she's right. I can't do this Haley. I can't be pregnant anymore.

The blow-off 101. Let's review: One, you can't date her right now, but it's not her, it's you. Two, you're so messed up right now she'd be miserable dating you. Three, there are way better guys she could have in her life. And Four, are you ready for this? Dating would ruin your really special friendship. If she gets bummed when you tell her you want to be good friends then tell her you want to be great friends.

Gee, I really need to stop being roommates with boyfriend stealing skanks, Peyton, I mean Rachel.

Really let's go over the list of things you have done to me. You tried to seduce Lucas when he was my boyfriend, take my spot as cheer captain, and two weeks ago, you told the entire school I was pregnant. I was just beginning to think you were a real person, but you're just a slutty lying liar who lies.

Well, I don't know who I hate more Mr. Chavez. You, for being a lying bastard or me, for believing your crap and for betraying my friend.

All you can do is weather the storm; don't fuel the flames and make it worse. Eventually they'll move onto someone else.

I mentioned it to Victoria and she jumped on it so fast you would think it was Julian's dad.

Get a shovel and help her get rid of the body.

Not unless you think Alex is trying to sleep with her.

Totally not a turd sandwich.

Does Brooke Davis have to slap a bitch?

What are you doing? Do you shake hands by spreading your legs? A guy who’s finally interested in your writing instead of your body, and you did what you do best. You blew it. He was giving you the chance to show the world that you are more than just another stupid, washed up actress but you proved that’s exactly what you are. Oh no, I’ll be taking this, we at least need your body in shape, since that’s all you have going for you.

This hot body of yours just inspired me to do something I have never done before. And it’s going to take lot of hard work, and a long, long time. And I’m going to need you to start by taking your pants off.

Once a hoe bag, always a hoe bag.

Hoe bag got naked in from of Julian!

Alex “my butt is the size of a cumquat” Dupray

She is so manipulative, and materialistic, and self-serving, and naked, and…

It’s been recently brought to my attention that the way you behave is a lot like “high school me” used to. And I would be insane to let “high school me” anywhere near the man I love. Man I love shouldn’t even think about sleeping anywhere but the couch tonight. What you didn’t do is tell me that hoe bag got naked for you.

Hey Chase, break’s over. So drop your pants.

I don’t think anyone has had homies since 1989.

Geez, Eddie Bauer did you buy the whole catalog?

Who knew that Tutor girl is actually Stoner girl.?

Please tell that munchkin to stop looking at me.

No. No no no, please no creepy psychics. I can’t handle it right now.

Quinn, your creepy psychic just cursed us.

I knew that woman would bring a demon into your house.

Life as Lucas Scott's girlfriend can get pretty lonely sometimes.

You know when I was a freshman, I wasn't a very good person. Sure I was popular, I dated seniors, but as a person I was pretty lost. And over the last four years, I've been forced to grow up. I stopped letting boys define me and I started believing in myself and my potential and I ran for student council preseident and I designed a clothing line. And somewhere along the way the lost little party girl became the girl on the wall of honor. And I know what I did was wrong, but the girl that I was when I came to this school, I'm not so sure she would of. But isn't that the point of high school? Isn't that what you guys have been trying to teach us for the last four years?

I know I watched her leave on my sneaky slut cam.

I’m pretty sure the last time I checked “what’s the rush?” doesn’t mean “let’s have a baby.”

Millicent Huxtable, that dress needs to leave this bar on or off of you. Your choice or your job.

Why can’t you be the girl that gets the boy and the baby, Brooke Davis?

Now is the time for us to shine. The time when our dreams are within reach and possibilities vast. Now is the time for all of us to become the people we've always dreamed of being. This is your world, you're here. You matter. The world is waiting.

Anorexia is a disease, not a fashion statement.

Maybe so. But being poor and horny is no way to go through life.

Okay here’s the thing. We are not dating, we are not going out. I am not your wife, your shrink, or your mommy. There is no romance, no crappy poetry, no PDA and no spooning. This is purely physical. If we have sex, it’s going to be safe sex. We’re friends with benefits, and in fact, we don’t even need to talk.

If it was up to you we’d all be getting our marriage licenses with our driver licenses.

Okay I’ve never had a problem that ice cream couldn’t solve. And I’ve had some problems.

My house key. You moved out, right? I can't have people coming and going like it's some kind of Rachel Gatina crack den.

Sometimes our relationships seem so simple and easy. no matter what it turns into a big mess. and there are days that i wanna dive into that mess. but then other days i can't help but wonder if maybe we're just two people that don't work as a couple.

Well I guess I made a huge, stupid, unforgivable mistake. Imagine that. Well then I guess I’m also a no-good, dirty liar.

Hi daughter. Hi mother. How was your morning on set daughter? Oh, it was just fine mother, fine, until the ex love of my life and current bane of my existence made it very clear to me that they did the wild thing last night.

It is very clear to me that the Julian apple didn’t fall far from the sleazy Paul tree.

I’m the donkey in a big, stupid Shakespearean mix up.

So I ruined wardrobe, bitched out the one man who makes my world turn, and clocked an interloping hoochie, who’s one mistake is sleeping with Crocodile Dundee.

If you ask me, they did you a favor. Boys love lesbians.

Clothes over Bros is my dream come true. This is what I wished for.

The bar is more for my roommate. You should see her knock them back she’s a champ.
The boy that she loves recently almost married someone else, when all in said, kinda went A-WOL, so unlike me who is perfectly stable and normal. She’s struggling a bit but I guess that’s what happens when you fall in love.