Grey's Anatomy: Callie Torres

You don’t see him. Either of you, he’s just George to you. He’s just O’Malley, just your roommate. He makes my world stop. George O’Malley is sweet and kind, and smart and strong. He makes my world stop, so you just shut up.

Don't forget to clean it up. When you've finished smashing.

It hurts less if you don’t see it coming.

Orthos love hockey season. It’s like Christmas every day.

He’s got a passion and he sacrificed for it.

Sometimes you can’t wait. You want the pain to stop so you cut it off. End the problem and the pain.

From what I understand is that his best friend hasn’t been the best matchmaker in the past.

You missed the boat George. A hot chick gives you her number, you’re supposed to call.

I have verbal diarrhea and I’m a moron.

The other night when I told you I was done trying to compete, that was me breaking up with you.

You were sexier when you weren’t talking.

You guys should think about getting a hotel room or something.

We're socially retarded. I mean, look at me. I'm in love with a guy who won't say he loves me back... and here I am in his kitchen cooking, hoping he comes home and notices me. I'm a total freak. I'm the girl in the back of the class who eats her hair.

I do not do pink or baby blue. I will not be wearing flowers in my hair and I will not be seen with a bow on my ass.

Don't chase me anymore, unless you're ready to catch me.

We're working, George. I'm your boss, alright?

You're an obstetrician.

I used to believe in God, and marriage, and heaven and hell.

I believe in love, and second chances. And that even though George wasn't the one for me, it was okay that I believed that he was because, well, for a little while, at least, I got to be an O'Malley. And I really loved being an O'Malley.

It wasn't cheerful, it was dirty.

I cut off a healthy leg. I just cut it off. It was for the patient's own good, but still, I feel like a butcher.

I washed my hands. I went down to the kitchen and I washed my hands. I didn’t wash them in the bathroom because those girls were staring at me like I was a rodent or something. Like I was in high school having the naked dream and it was actually happening. I didn’t even know they were home. I washed my hands.

Okay, shut your trap for eight seconds and let me finish!

You dared him to lay down in a vat of concrete!

You didn't love her! You just didn't want to be alone. Or maybe, maybe she was good for your ego. Or, or maybe she made you feel better about your miserable life, but you didn't love her, because you don't destroy the person that you love!

You think you can pray away the gay? You can’t pray away the gay. You can’t pray away the gay!

I hate that I’m so into you.

The man flew 3,000 miles to make me straight. With a priest! I'm lucky they didn't march into the ER swinging incense all hepped up for an exorcism.

Don’t take it personally. It’s the doctor thing. Four years of high school, four years of college, four years of med school. By the time we graduate, we’re in our late twenties. We’ve never done anything except go to school and think about science. Time stops, we’re socially retarded. Ha, look at me. I’m in love with a guy who won’t say he loves me back and here I am in his kitchen cooking, just hoping he comes home and notices me. I’m a total freak. I’m that girl in the back of the class who eats her hair. M, she’s 17 years old. We’re all 17 years old. This is high school with scalpels.

I’m out of my element here. I break bones for a living. I used to live in the basement. Most days I wear last night’s eye liner to work. I don’t give a crap what other people think about me because I’m a happily, independent, successful woman, and I like it that way. Only when you say stuff like this, it makes stuff too hard. So please don’t chase me anymore unless you’re ready to catch me.

Don’t do that. Don’t tough it out. Just say yes.

Don’t make me climb over this stall. I’ll do it but I’ll be really pissed because I don’t know you that well.

Imagine your dad’s like a vintage car, okay. And his blood is like gas flowing to the fuel lines. The cancer cells are like the gunk that builds up in there. Once the gunk starts circulating it can do a whole lot of damage to the carburetor, everything. It’s like the engine had already blown a gasket, even before all the other damage started.

Panties, Meredith. I’m talking about the freaking code of silence, pair of panties I pulled off the bulletin board, not to mention the adulterous McSex I witnessed!

We were broken up, as in, not together. I slept with Mark to get over you, and guess what? It didn’t work. It was mistake. I did not betray you, George. I would never do that.

George has become a sex machine.

I married the help.

I look insane, I’m wearing pearls.

George, what I’m about to say is crazy and I am not responsible. I am saying this against my will because I am a surgeon, okay? I love my job. I love my life exactly as it is, exactly as it is! Do you understand what I’m saying? I have no desire to house a human being in my body for nine months, and then push it out and raise it. Okay, none. Zero. Except housing a human for nine long months is all I can think about. The thoughts are invading the surgeries that I love and it’s hormonal and horrible. But it is happening, to me.

I like to be good at things. I do not fail, I do not quit. I like to be good at things and I want to be good at this so, I need you. I need you to show me.

Just because we’re not sleeping together doesn’t mean we can’t hang out and be friends. You’re good for more than sex Mark.

Don’t get naked with an intern.

No casual glances over the shoulder. No “This is interesting, can everyone see?”

You know I used to walk tall around here. I used to walk tall, then…came George. He took off at least an inch. Then Erica came and left me, that shaved off a few more. I got shorter. All that humiliation makes you shorter, so yeah, I am scared of getting hurt because one more personal disaster right now would cut me off at the knees.

Dear God, I need your guidance. I kissed a Peds surgeon. I never thought I would end up with a woman, God, but I mean, not until lately, but that’s not the problem. The problem is the Peds thing. She’s... she’s perky. And has butterflies on her scrub cap. But she’s also hot... really hot. So, help me get over the butterflies. Amen.

I married the help. We went to the Vegas. My idea, I embraced the trashy.

You thought our marriage was toxic?

Don’t you dare sleep with that woman!

It’s sad and pathetic. Sloane and her baby leaving you can be the best thing to happen to you. You can grow up, find a woman to love, have a baby or you can be the ass attending who abuses all the residents and screws whatever walks into this hospital. So just pick one.

That’s because they’re husband and work wife. The chief’s your husband and you’re his work wife. You look out for each other; you take care of each other. There’s nothing wrong with it. It’s like me and Sloan. He’s my work husband but he has a girlfriend. And I have a girlfriend, but nothing is going on between us.

Find a grown up that wants what you want, and date, like a grown up.

Yeah, third date’s a sex date. And he’s cooking for you, at his home, where he keeps a bed.

Fine. I’m not putting a gun to your head. Let freedom ring.

I’m building cartilage... from jello, and you paged me for condoms?

Guy brings a condom.

Okay, guy brings a condom. But sometimes they fail to provide them on the third date as a sign of respect. “Oh, I never imagined this would happen so soon. Oh, I wasn’t prepared.” So you should bring them. Never trust a guy.

You’re not just a sex machine, Mark. Look, don’t get me wrong, you’ve got skills. But you’re a good person. Why do you think Little Miss Muffet fell for you?

You’re a good guy. You’re worth getting to know... in daylight.

You shouldn’t fight this hard for a wedding. You fight for a marriage and sometimes that is a lost cause so you should let go already. Just freaking let go!

Don’t you dare come to me for forgiveness you traitorous bitch.

Dr. Hahn, anyone who can out drink me and still kick my ass at the dart board can call me Callie.

You didn’t tell your mom that we broke up. Your mom is making us baby clothes because she thinks we’re still trying to get pregnant, because she thinks we’re still married, because she thinks you’re still the kind of person who would never cheat on his wife. Hand-stitched uni-sex baby clothes! They’re yellow and green and go up to toddler sizes. And she’s waiting for you in the lobby.

I like penis. I'm a huge huge fan of penis.

How long did your not friend lay in that vat of cement unable to move before you four geniuses, band of brothers, you future Mother Teresas, how long did he lay there in that quick drying cement yelling that he couldn’t move before you called the police?! Yeah that’s what I thought.

No he’s not okay. He’s stuck in a block of cement.

He needs you and you’re too worried of what your friends think.

It was not good. At all. I choked. I couldn't go down there. I tried, but it just felt so weird and clinical like gynie rotation.

No lessons. Just sex. Nothing fancy just plain old missionary, boy girl, penis vagina sex. I mean it. No dirty talk, no Erica talk. Just grunting and grinding.

Sounds like my life. Married, betrayed, gay, abandoned. Then I woke up and had no idea how I got here.

I cannot have another stupid, romantic disaster in this hospital. It’s embarrassing.

‘Alone’ people don’t like to hear about the ‘together’ people. Even if the ‘alone’ people are alone by choice, it’s sort of mean, it’s sort of like bringing a six pack to an AA meeting. Keep it to yourself.

You’re an amazing doctor. You save babies. God knows who you are.

I have experience to give. Life experience. Like the fact that I was married, did you know that? Or that I was in Peace Corps. Botswana, that’s what made me go to med school. And most recently I’ve experienced the joy of cooking. Yeah, I make an excellent chicken picada, in addition to many other delicious meals that you’d be very lucky to experience yourself. And the fact that you can’t open your eyes to see that makes you a little inexperienced.

Shadow Shepherd. He’s a solid surgeon but kinda like the JV player to Shepherd’s varsity, the B team to Shepherd’s A, the bricklayer to Shepherd’s architect.

No. I don’t do woods. The woods are dirty and there are many, many bugs.

I can’t lie, even if they think I’m wrong, even if they don’t understand, even if they think I’m crazy. I’m me. They’re supposed to accept me. They’re supposed to support me. They’re supposed to love me, you know. I can’t lie.

Yes, I am. I’m a superstar, superstar with a scalpel. I am too big of a star for you to say my name. I build arms out of nothing and legs like God and when I win the Harper Avery and every other prize there is, you will rue this day Chief Webber. That’s right, I said rue.

He doesn’t look at my boobs anymore. The first thing he used to look at when I walked in anywhere was my boobs. He doesn’t look anymore. Not since he met you. Okay?

I probably shouldn’t say anything, she’s my roommate. Girlfriend trumps roommate. She’s Cristina. She’s all about cardio so she’s probably sucking up to you to get through the merger. I mean, is she good with the kids?
Callie: I made a list, to read to the chief. 50 Reasons Why You Should Hire Me as an Attending. Okay, number one, I build a man’s bones out of titanium rods. Two, what I lack in experience I make up for in raw talent. Three, I can go seven hours in the OR without even taking a pee break.

Oh, that’s why you flew three thousand miles to tell me I was going to hell? I thought you were here to apologize.

‘Jesus: A new commandment that I give unto you that you love one another.’ ‘Jesus: He who is without sin among you let him cast the first stone. Blessed are the merciful for they obtain mercy.’ ‘Jesus: Blessed are the pured heart for they shall seek God.’ ‘Jesus: blessed are those who have been persecuted for righteousness sake for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.’ Jesus is my savior Daddy, not you. And Jesus would be ashamed of you for judging me. He would be ashamed of you for turning your back on me. He would be ashamed.

Scars are hot. Scars are bad ass. Scars are poetic.

I have pox between my butt cheeks. Your pain doesn’t begin to compare to mine.

Here’s a newsflash, overly enthusiastic intern guy, I don’t have to do anything.

Sex on the couch, walk of shame under the cover of darkness.

You have the best doctor with you right now. Yeah, Dr. Robbins is the best doctor in this entire hospital. I think in the whole world. Yeah, people feel so much better after she helps them. People feel better after she walks in the room ‘cause we has got this super magic smile. And when she smiles at you, everything gets better. You don’t know that because you have your back to her, but she is giving you her best super magic smile.

Sex with you just makes me sad.

I am stubbornly choosing to believe that not all people are evil and bad and leave me at airports.

You had to fly across the world to get to me Arizona because you flew a whole world away without ever looking back. You just left. And this might be news to you — no, I think it kinda is — but you're not the only one in this relationship. There are two of us, and you came back today but I didn't.

No, no, you will not hold me hostage and make me listen to you. I am rebuilding the leg of a kid who's been shot. That's, that's why I'm here. That's the only reason.

Dr. Stark, you're new here, but in this hospital, we take shootings personally.

My lack of interest in seeing you is not a strategy. I'm not playing hard to get. I don't want to see you because I turned my life upside down for you and you walked away because for a week I was cranky. You're untrustworthy, so I don't want to see you. You're self-centered, so I don't want to see you. I am a hundred percent certain that if I let you back in my life again you will hurt me again, so I don't want to see you. This isn't a ploy. I'm not pouting. I don't want you in my life. Get your crap out of my apartment.

Things don't go the way you want them to. Ever.

I am a hormone casserole. My body is not my own, and something feels wrong.

(pointing to Arizona and Mark) Lesbian lover. Baby daddy.

So tell her. Do not wait until this kid comes out looking all Sloan-y.

I didn't plan this, OK? I didn't plan any of this, but there's a mighty oak or whatever showing up in our lives in about seven months, so now I have to plan, and I don't know how long I can wait for you to process, but I want you in my plan. I want you to be a part of my plan.

Words, make words.

If we're gonna do this whole everybody gets a vote thing, there's gonna be a new system. We'll still each get one vote, but also the baby gets a vote. As I house the baby, I'll be speaking for him slash her. And, since I'll be pushing this baby out of a very small hole in my body, I'll also get an extra-special vagina vote.

I don't drink chunks. I want my coffee.

I'm extending an olive branch here. Because I know how annoying I must be to you right now. But since I was four and I got that doll that crap its pants for Christmas, I wanted a kid because, other than cracking bones, this baby's my dream. And I get to be insanely out of my mind happy for my dream, but I'm not discounting your need to vomit over my insanity...

The brain is the human body's most mysterious organ. It learns. It changes. It adapts. It tells us what we see, what we hear. It lets us feel love. I think it holds our soul. And no matter how much research we do, no one can really say how all that delicate grey matter inside our skull works. And, when it's hurt, when the human brain is traumatized, well, that's when it gets even more mysterious.

Please take this baby away from me. I'm serious. Take her, Mark. Oh my God. Oh my God. The baby's crack, and she's crack baby.