Grey's Anatomy: Derek Shepherd

Hence the ferryboats. Now I have to like it here. I wasn't planning on liking it here. I'm genetically engineered to dislike everywhere, except Manhattan. I have a thing for ferryboats.

Seattle has ferryboats. I didn’t know that. I have a thing for ferryboats.

All I want is Seattle. I want Seattle and to never see you again.

Don't get me wrong: I like the kissing. I'm all for the kissing. More kissing, I say.

Is it going to happen again? Let me know next time. I'll bring breath mints. Put a condom in my wallet.

Keep your friends close, keep your enemies closer.

Should you be worried that I met a woman? No. Should you be worried that for me flirting with that woman was the highlight of my week? Yeah, you should be worried or something.

So in other words, we’re a whole bunch of idiots.

We can be dull and lifeless together.

You deserve to be with somebody who makes you happy, somebody who’s not going to complicate your life, somebody who won’t hurt you. He’s a better guy, Meredith. Finn is the better guy. I’m walking away.

I have good news and bad news. The good news is that Dr. Bailey stopped the bleeding. The bad news is, we're giving your penis to the cops. Have a nice day.

So... it is intense... this thing I have for... ferryboats, I mean. No self control. It is sad, really.

You might want to leave before I change my mind and let her beat you to the tiniest pulp with her ineffectual fists.

It’s not the chase. You and me, it is not the thrill of the chase. It is not a game. It’s your tiny ineffectual fists. And your hair, it smells good. And you're very bossy, it keeps me in line.

Yeah, I'd say we're pretty good sneakers.

You know, in some states you get arrested for that.

You had a one-night stand with Mark. Okay, it was two nights. You made a mistake. Meredith and I had a relationship.

Can you imagine, just doing your job, and someone comes in and puts a bullet in your head? Just nineteen years old.

So you blew me off for a bottle of tequila. Tequila's no good for you. It doesn’t call. It doesn’t write. It’s not as nearly as much fun to wake up to.

You Ju-ju-ed Meredith.

Fish don’t like to go where there is a bunch of noise.

I'm gonna tell you. All right. My mother's maiden name, Maloney. I have four sisters. I have, uh, nine nieces. Five nephews. I like coffee ice cream, single-malt scotch, occasionally a good cigar. I like to fly fish. And I cheat when I do the crossword puzzle on Sunday. And I never dance in public. Um, favorite novel, The Sun Also Rises. Favorite band, The Clash. My favorite color is blue. I don't like light blue, indigo. The scar right here on my forehead, that's why I don't ride motorcycles anymore. And I live in that trailer. All this land is mine. I have no idea what I'm gonna do with it. So that's it. That's all you've earned for now. The rest you're just... just gonna have to take on faith.

Or you could just roll with it, be flexible. See what happens.

Lighten up. It'll be good for your blood pressure.

How goes our special super secret silent sunset surgery? I've been practicing that.

Somewhere out there is a steak with your name on it and maybe a bottle of wine.

You trying to, uh, get me drunk so you can take advantage of me?

Do you want to take advantage again? Say, Friday night?

Goes along with an adulterous sociopath.

So I go upstairs, as I'm walking down the hall I try to prepare myself for what I'm going to see when I walk into my bedroom. I step on a man's jacket that doesn't belong to me. And everything I know... just shifts. Because the jacket that doesn't belong to me is a jacket that I recognize, what I know now is that when I go into my bedroom, I'm not just going to see that my wife is cheating on me. I'm going to see that my wife is cheating on me with Mark, who happened to be my best friend... I walked out, flew out to Seattle.

You were like coming up for fresh air. It's like I was drowning and you saved me. It's all I know.

We've had adultery, that was enough.

Satan speaks.

Uneasy lies ahead that wears the Chief's cap.

If you want me to cleared, you should have thought about that before you gave chief to Burke and invited Satan to Seattle.

Don't peg me, I'm not peggable.

Doctors make the worst patients. Just breathe in the happy gas. Stop running my OR.

There is a land called Passive Agressiva, and you are their Queen.

Your girlfriend is my ex- girlfriend's best friend.

Apparently being a bald beauty queen is the worst thing that could happen in the history of the world.

The chief of surgery doesn't scare me, Dr. Bailey scares me. I'm not gonna be the one to let her husband die.

And her cervix is being examined by my wife... which is an image I'll never get out of my head. Thanks for the warning.

It was a Thursday morning. You were wearing that ratty little torn up tee shirt you look so good in. The one with a hole in the back of the neck. You just washed your hair and you smelled like some sort of flower. I was running late for surgery, you said you were gonna see me later and you leaned to me, you put your hand on my chest, and you kissed me, soft. It was quick. Kind of like a habit, you know, like we would do it every day for the rest of our lives. You went back to reading the newspaper and I went to work. That was the last time that we kissed.

I just don't want me known as the guy who killed Bailey's husband.

People do things every day that they know will kill them, but doesn’t mean they want to die.

I didn't forgive her and with you I have no obligation to try.

So, baby trumps husband? Baby trumps husband?

It's just too early for me to interpret girl flip-out into normal conversation.

So was the knitting a phase? Who's next? Alex? 'Cause I here he likes to sleep around. You two have that in common.

This thing with us is finished. It's over.

If something’s over, it’s just got to be over.

Sometimes you've gotta take a chance to save a life.

There is no 'wow' in practical.

She’s tough. She tries to hide it. She’s difficult. But if you make an effort, she’s worth it. She’s worth the effort.

You think I want to look at you? That I wouldn't rather be looking at my wife? I'm married. I have responsibilities. She doesn't drive me crazy. She doesn't make it impossible for me to feel normal. She doesn't make me sick to my stomach thinking about my veterinarian touching her with his hands. Man, I would give anything to not be looking at you.

It means you have a choice. You have a choice to make. And I don't want to rush you into making the decision before you're ready. This morning I was going to come over... I was going to say... What I wanted to say was... But now all I can say is that... I'm in love with you. I've been in love with you for, ever. I'm a little late, I know I'm a little late in telling you that. I, I just, I just want you to take your time, you know. Take all the time you need, because you have a choice to make. And when I had a choice to make, I chose wrong. Good night.

I didn't crash your date, it was professional.

No, it’s fine. I’m glad I know about him, the vet. You really get around.

She wanted you to know that if love were enough, that she'd still be here with you.

So we're kissing but not dating?

She wanted you to know, that if love were enough, she’s still be here with out.

I certainly operate well with her!

Well forgive me for pointing out the obvious, but I don't see any practitioners of veterinary medicine at your bedside.

Don't you see? Don't you understand? You're the love of my life. I can't leave you. But you're constantly leaving me. You walk away when you want, you come back when you want. Not everyone. Not your friends. But you leave me. So I'm asking you, if you don't see a future for us, if you're not in this... Please... please just end it because I can't. I'm in it. Put me out of my misery.

I want to marry you. I want to have kids with you. I want to build us a house. I want to settle down and grow old with you. I want to die when I'm 110 years old in your arms. I don't want 48 uninterrupted hours. I want a lifetime.

Do you see what happens? I say things like that and you fight the urge to run in the opposite direction. It's okay. I understand. I didn't, but now I do, I do. You're just getting started and I've been doing this for a long time. Deep down you're still an intern, and you're not ready.

Things can't stay the way they are. We can still meet in the elevator, the on call room. And maybe you'll get ready, and I'll wait. I'll wait until you're ready.

It's a beautiful day to save lives. Let's have some fun.

Fight. Fight for your life. Fight for your marriage.

You’re thanking me for the most boring sex ever?

There's no hard or fast rule, but brain injuries tend to pile up around the holidays. Like our friend here. Folks fall off their roofs while they string up lights. Or they go skating for the first time in a decade and break their heads open. And every year people drive through blizzards to get to parties where they kiss germ-infected strangers under poisonous mistletoe. And then they get so drunk that they smash their heads through their windshield on their way home. Like I said, there's no hard or fast rule.

Christmas makes you want to be with people you love. I'm not saying this to hurt you, or because I want to leave you, because I don't. Meredith wasn't a fling. She wasn't revenge. I fell in love with her. That doesn't go away because I decided to stay with you.

I was different in New York before Mark, I was different towards you. I was absent. I’m partly to blame for what’s happened to our marriage. I’m sorry. I’m working on it.

You really are Satan, you realize that right? If Satan were to take physical form he'd be you, everywhere all the time. How come you haven't gotten on your broomstick and gone back to New York where you belong? Stop being an adulterous bitch.

I wanna be with you forever, and you wanna be with me forever. In order to do that we need to make vows. A commitment. A contract. Give me a piece of paper.

You can't function ten feet from the hospital.

Relationships are built on sacrifice.

It’s possibly that porn, like art and music, can stimulate the brain and produce endorphins that minimize pain.

No, I want you to go in there and tell him that you’re wrong. That you’re having a bad day. You’re favorite uncle died of lung cancer and that every time you see a cigarette you freak out. Say whatever you need to say. Get him to believe that this about you not him. Because if he thinks he won’t be able to quit, he won’t. Then we shouldn’t even do this surgery.

He’s cancer. He infects everything. Only three hours out of Seattle and still, he infects everything. I thought that if I just got away for a while by myself, get some answers. A fresh start.

You care, because you’re you.

I was a jerk. Sometimes boyfriends can be jerks, but it doesn't mean you stop talking to them... You get that I'm saying I'm sorry, right?

It never gets easier, you know, losing a patient. It’s no less shocking, I guess.

When you get divorce, isn’t that supposed to mean your wife stops nagging you?

I’m Derek Shepard. We met at this bar, do you remember? We met, and well, you said you were just a girl, I’m just a guy. And we started this thing. We started this thing. You didn’t know anything about me, the good, the bad, the wife. You didn’t even know my name. You didn’t know me. I want you to know me. I want to start over from the beginning. So hi, Derek Shepard.

Keep Little Sloan out of little Grey is my point. Little Sloan does not enter Little Grey.

Who’s making a porno movie in Izzie’s room?

No, killing people is inhumane. Denying him pain killers is a judgment call.

I watch people die all the time. I go to people’s families and tell them their world has been ripped apart all the time. I fight like a dog to make sure that I don’t have to deliver that message and I lose that fight all the time. Then some guy like Dunn comes along and simply throws it away, life. And he has the nerve to tell me that he and I are two sides of the same coin.

You should understand more than anyone else. You wrote the book of quitting, hiding, running. You wrote a lot of books, Mer.

It’s about the ring. It’s about the vows. Savvy didn’t screw around with you with your best friend. And she’s looking for support. If you don’t give that to her, if you don’t give her that support, then what the hell am I doing?

Eventually feels a lot different than actually.

So this isn’t just break up sex, this is secret break up sex.

If I wasn’t around, you’d starve in a dirty shirt and die a lonely death.

When was the last time you called a woman after having sex?

I’ve never in my life got a patient laid, much less two patients.

It's just a scratch. She gives me sex, especially when I'm wounded.

Rambo’s completely out of control.

We save lives here. We don't just patch up patients and leave them to die. If you can't handle that, go back to the desert, and leave us here. To do our jobs.

Keep Little Sloan out of Little Grey okay? Little Sloan does not go near Little Grey.

Ridiculous is a grown man telling another man to stay out of a woman’s little.

Who’s making a porno movie in Izzie’s room?

No, killing people is inhumane. Denying people painkillers is a judgment call.

I watch people die all the time. I go to families and I tell them their world’s been ripped apart all the time. And I fight like a dog to make sure I don’t have to deliver that message and I lose that fight all the time. Then some guy like that comes along and simply throws it away, life. Then he’s got the nerve to tell me that he and I are two sides of the same coin.

I know you two are still fighting, but it’s it about time you wrap that up? I ask because when I propose to her, she’s gonna need someone to freak out to. She misses you, a lot. You miss her too, right? I don’t know what’s going on in your life but I’m sure there’s something you need to freak out to her about.

We saved a life. That’s never a waste.

You should understand better than anyone else. You wrote the book on quitting, running, hiding. You’ve written a lot of books, Meredith.

Oh you’re here now. You’ve wanted me out since the day I moved in. because you’re incapable of anything that resembles commitment. You lied to me. You said you were healthy, you were healed. There’s no fixing you. You’re a lemon.

You got me into the OR. If there’s a crisis you don’t freeze. You move forward. You get the rest of us to move forward. Because you’ve seen worse, you’ve survived worse. And you know we’ll survive too. You say you’re all dark and twisty. That’s not a flaw, it’s a strength. It makes you who you are. I’m not going to get down on one knee. I’m not going to ask a question. I love you Meredith Grey. And I want to spend the rest of my life with you.

We’ll get naked and get married in a field of flowers.

If you have to ask for a compliment, it’s not a compliment.

To love each other even when we hate each other. No running, no one walks out. No matter what happens. To take care when old, senile, smelly. This is forever.

[voiceover] Ask most surgeons why they became surgeons and they usually tell you the same thing. It was for the high, the rush, the thrill that comes from cutting someone open and saving their life. For me, it was different. Maybe it’s because I grew up in a house with four sisters. Definitely because I grew up in a house with four sisters. Because it was the quiet that drew me to surgery. The operating room is a quiet place, peaceful. It has to be in order for us to stay alert, anticipate complications. When you stand in the OR, your patient open on the table, all the world’s noise, all the worries the world brings disappear. The calm settles over you. Time passing without thought. For that moment you feel completely at peace.

[voiceover] Ask most surgeons why they became surgeons, they usually tell you the same thing. The high, the rush, the thrill of the cut. For me, it was the quiet. Peace is a permanent state. It exists in moment, fleeting, gone before we even knew it was there. We can experience it at any time, in the stranger’s act of kindness, a task that requires complete focus, or simply the comfort of an old routine. Every day we all experience these moments of peace. The trick is to know when it’s happening so we can embrace them, live in them and finally let them go.

[voiceover] We ask a lot of our patients, cut them open, put them to sleep, poke around in their brains and cuts with sharp instruments. We ask for their blind trust. Irony is, trust is hard for surgeons because we’re trained from day one that we can’t trust anyone but ourselves. The only instincts you can count on are your own. The only skills you can count on are your own, until one day you leave the classroom and step into the OR. You’re surrounding by others, a team of others, a team you have to rely on, whether you trust them or not.

I know it’s been a long day and you’re all anxious to get home, but I feel like we got off on the wrong foot this morning. I don’t expect to win your trust over night, but I want each of you to know you have mine, which is why I felt it was important to personally come in here and apologize. I want to clear some things up; I am neither pro or anti merger. From this point on, everyone has a clean slate. I am not focused on the past. I looking to the future to all the promise this hospital has to offer. I plan to honor Richard Weber and his legacy, not undo it, which is why I am both honored and humble to be your new Chief of surgery.

If you don’t feel the losses, if they don’t hurt you and humble you, that’s when you know you’re not cut out for this kind of work.
Derek: This is a teaching hospital. We learn a lot by doing. We can also learn, should also learn from other people’s experiences. Their losses will save you losses. Their mistakes will save you mistake. Their victories will inspire yours.

No screwing drug reps in my hospital.

I’ll make it, I told off one of my heroes today. I can do anything.

You looked at him Meredith. When you’re pissed, your face says everything. So now I have a staff that can’t trust me.

I know your loss. I lost my father when I was a kid. Two guys killed my father for his watch right in front of me. Right in front of me. I didn’t become a doctor because I wanted to become God, I came a doctor because I wanted to save lives. Look at me, please. Look at me in the eye. I’m a human being, I make mistakes, I’m flawed. We all are. Today I think, for you it’s just a mistake, or justice, or someone to hate. You’re a good man, I can see it in your eyes. Can you see it in mine? Can you?.

[voiceover] The human life is made up of choices, yes or no, in or out, up or down. And then there are the choices that matter, to love or to hate, to be a hero or to be a coward, to fight or to give in, to live or to die.

[voiceover] Live or die. That’s the important choice. It’s not always in our hands.

[voiceover] Live or die. Hero or coward. Fight or give in. I’ll say it again to make sure you hear me. The human life is made up of choices: live or die, that’s the important choice. And it’s not always in our hands.

Life is short. So now I think less and just do.

She saved my life. I owe her everything. Get out. Get the hell out.

Breakthroughs don't happen because of the medicine. Real breakthroughs happen because someone is scared to death to stop trying.

If she's going to act like a stripper, I'm going to act like a bouncer.

You know the fish can hear you. Did you read about that in your research? Fishing is supposed to be quiet.

Well, the only thing predictable about fishing is that it's unpredictable.

You don't get to act like a spoiled little brat in my OR.

Dr. Grey, you're a surgeon, not a social worker.

If not for me then do it for your future baby.

You know, I was holding her yesterday, and she was crying and then she stopped. And I've held a lot of babies; I've fixed a lot of babies. But, I looked down at Zola, and I don't know what it was, but I just couldn't imagine her being with any other parent or any other family. We've been trying so hard to start a family, and she needs one. Let's adopt her. I'm serious, let's adopt her.

Yeah, Dr. Yang and my wife sometimes have sleepovers in my bed, with me in it.