Richard Gilmore: Who's going to help her get into Harvard?
Lorelai Gilmore: Reese Witherspoon.
Richard: [giving the toast at the reception] Now, many of you know my daughter Lorelai. When Lorelai was three, she went through a period of having chronic ear infections. It was terrible. Screaming all night long - we couldn't keep a nanny for a week!
Lorelai: [to Luke] Yeah, that was the terrible part of it. The searing pain was just a side note!
Richard: She's having sex, Lorelai. She's having sex under my roof. I paid $40,000 to redecorate her sex house. I bought her a sex mattress. Her sex box springs. I provided everything she needs to waste her life.
Lorelai: Dad, Rory having sex is not your fault. Really, she was having sex way before the big renovation.
Richard: I feel so much better now.
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