Gilmore Girls: Rory & Paris

Rory: [in government class at Chilton] Henry VIII started a new church when the old one wouldn't allow divorce.
Paris: He also cut off his wife's head. Is he still your role model?

Rory: This is the headmaster's office. How did she get the keys? I'm sure he didn't give them to her.
Paris: Stop it. We are making very important social contacts here.
Rory: Hey, I'm not looking for social contacts. I have friends. I'm fine.
Paris: Well, how nice it must be to be you. Maybe someday I'll stumble into a Disney movie and suddenly be transported into your body, and after living there awhile, I'll finally realize the beauty of myself. But until that moment, I'm going to go in there and I'm going to become a Puff. Now get out of my way.

Paris: I'm not allowed to have Mac&Cheese.
Rory: Splurge. Come on Paris, stay.
Paris: Do you have a 24-hour pharmacy just in case I have an allergic reaction to something?
Rory: Believe it or not, we do.

Paris: So I told her, "Look missy - "
Rory: You called your advisor "Missy"?
Paris: It was attitudinal. I said I'm not taking AP calculus from Henneman. I'm going with Branch. Branch is a graduate of MIT and HenX-Mozilla-Status: 8000 X-Mozilla-Status2: 00000000 neman went to Berkeley. Berkeley! I mean, he may have majored in math but what did he minor in? Bean sprouts? Forget it. And I'm telling my advisor all this, Mrs. Schlosser, and I look down in her trash can and there's this half-eaten banana in there. Nothing else. And I pictured her sitting in this shoe box of an office eating a banana all by herself and I almost felt sorry for her, but then she questioned my judgement about Berkeley so I eviscerated her. I mean, she was welling up at the end, but she had the decency to hold it in until I was gone. I have enough faculty recommendations to run for student council, so I don't need her anyway. My locker's this way.

Paris Geller: I wish I knew if he was right for me. You know? So I don't put myself through all of this for nothing? I mean women fall for men who are wrong for them all of the time, and then they get sidetracked from their goals. They give up careers and become alcoholics and, if you're Sunny von Bülow, wind up in a coma completely incapable of stopping Glenn Close from playing you in a movie.
Rory Gilmore: I think you should wear your hair down.

Paris Geller: I've been going over it in my head; I mean, it seemed to go pretty well. The fire was nice, and thank god he didn't try to put on any ridiculous make-out music, and - then it just happened. I was actually fairly surprised at the timing of it, because I wasn't wearing anything particularly alluring; and in the moments just before the act ...
Rory Gilmore: [appalled] Oh god!
Paris Geller: - we were actually discussing modern-day Marxism in America, which is not what I would have deemed a "come and get it" sort of conversation, but nevertheless he came and got it, and I have to figure out what that means to me on a psychological level. So I thought maybe, if you and I could have sort of a healthy debate about it, I could come to some sort of reasonable conclusion about how I should be feeling right about now; so, come on, talk! What do you think?

Paris: Way to have that radar up.
Rory: Let's not make each other feel bad.
Paris: Hey, hug a dolphin another day, all right? We need to rev up the gunships and retaliate before the next strike. We gotta go full-out Sharon.

Rory: It's Girls Gone Wild, and Boys Doin' the Twist. We're not Spring Break people, are we?
Paris: I don't know what we are. But the thought of spending a week with a bunch of drunken college bimbos and rattle-headed frat boys is a great payoff for staying warm.

Paris Geller: I need the exact time of today's sunset.
Rory Gilmore: I'm in the middle of an article.
Paris Geller: Well, if you read faster, you wouldn't be.
Rory Gilmore: Okay, the time of today's sunset is 4:31.
Paris Geller: Okay. Then I just have to keep my mind occupied until 4:31.
Rory Gilmore: Paris.
Paris Geller: What?
Rory Gilmore: Tell me again why you're fasting for Ramadan.
Paris Geller: Look, Rory, if you want to crib your articles from the AP wire, that's your business. I, on the other hand, actually give a rat's ass about journalistic integrity. When I write about Ramadan, I experience Ramadan. Are you chewing gum?
Rory Gilmore: What? Yes, why?
Paris Geller: I'd really prefer it if you didn't chew it at me.
Rory Gilmore: Paris, did you know that not eating can make people kind of snippy?