Luke: He’s bagging groceries. It’s hard to be smug, bagging groceries.
Luke Danes: Yeah, that's tough when the universe is against you, that's like taking on the Manhattan garbage union.
Luke: I've just never heard anyone use "beaked" as a verb before.
Luke Danes: Don't pull the sheet back after I pull it, i need more room for this side.... You pulled it back again.
Luke Danes: [to Jimmy Mariano, Jess' dad] I'm gonna put your head through a wall, any wall, you can pick the wall, but it will be a wall.
Luke: I'm not storing your microbe mattress, forget it.
Luke Danes: There is no fate, there is no destiny, there is no luck. Astrology is ridiculous. Tarot cards tell you nothing, you cannot read a palm, tea leaves make tea and nothing else. Jim Morrison is not hanging out with Elvis. And the Kennedys did not kill Marilyn.
Luke Danes: I don't have time to kill you right now, Kirk. Come back in a couple of hours.
Luke: If I could pick anyone in the world for my sister to be with, that guy would be... his cab driver.
Luke Danes: I wasn't running I was walking, I wasn't yelling I was talking.
Luke: [walking into Jess' run down apartment] Hey neighbor! The guys next door just ran out of crack to sell so they sent me over to borrow a cup.
Luke: Lorelai, this thing we're doing here me, you I just want you to know I'm in. I am all in.
Luke: No, I fulfilled my whacking quota for the week.
Luke: Oh, really? Well, where the hell where you when she had the chicken pox and would only eat mashed potatoes for a week? Or when she graduated high school and started college, huh? Where the hell were you when I was moving her mattress into her dorm and out of her dorm and back into her dorm?
Luke: [talking about the pink drink Emily created] God, that's terrible. It's like drinking a "My Little Pony".
Luke: Yeah, but I'm the one who had to hear it. And she was loud! And she said "hell"; I never heard her say "hell", I didn't even know she knew how to say "hell". She was mad and she yelled and she said "hell".
Luke Danes: [to support group] Can I get you ladies anything? Compassion? Perspective?
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