Gilmore Girls: Rory & Others

Dean: Because you're nice to look at, and because you've got unbelievable concentration.
Rory: What?
Dean: Last Friday these two guys were tossing around a ball and one guy nailed the other right in the face. I mean, it was a mess, blood everywhere, the nurse came out, the place was in chaos, his girlfriend was all freaking out, and you just sat there and read. I mean, you never even looked up. I thought, "I have never seen anyone read so intensely before in my entire life. I have to meet that girl."
Rory: Maybe I just didn't look up because I'm unbelievably self-centered.

Rory: Patty! It's not like that. He's just a person.
Miss Patty: A person?
Rory: A boy-type person.
Miss Patty: Oh, my favorite kind.

Rory Gilmore: Hey Sookie, look.
Sookie St. James: [gasps] Oh, my goodness. Your a movie star! I'm serious. At some point tonight, walk down a flight of stairs. Movie stars always walk down staircases.

Louise Grant: Those who simply wait for information to find them spend a lot of time sitting by the phone. Those who find it themselves have something to say when it rings.
Rory: Nietzsche?
Louise Grant: Dawson.
Rory: My next guess.

Rory Gilmore: Dean, I promise, the *only* way you could be more important to me is if you had a kit-kat bar growing out of your head.
Dean Forester: [pause] I won't make any promises, but I'll work on that.

Man With Saw: You got a hammer?
Rory Gilmore: Oh, yes sir.
Man With Saw: Where is it?
Rory Gilmore: [Rory takes a hammer from her backpack, it is decorated with pink feathers, rhinestones and ribbon] It's a real hammer underneath.
Man With Saw: That's a hammer?
Rory Gilmore: Well, it's just dressed up a little.
Man With Saw: You dressed up a hammer?
Rory Gilmore: No, my mother did. She does that. She um, she takes things that arn't pretty and makes them pretty, like a hammer, you know. One time she made little individual outfits for my liquid paper bottles, A clown, a cowboy... a newscaster. She's not insane. She just sounds it.
Man With Saw: Ok.

Rory Gilmore: Please, don't walk away like that!
Dean Forester: Sorry, I'd do a silly walk, but I'm not feeling very John Cleese right now.

Jess Mariano: You know, I like this place.
Rory Gilmore: Wow, a place in Stars Hollow you actually like.
Jess Mariano: You see that spot over there?
Rory Gilmore: Yeah.
Jess Mariano: That's where Luke pushed me in.
Rory Gilmore: Pff.
Jess Mariano: Are you mad or something?
Rory Gilmore: I just don't want to be in a fight with Dean.
Jess Mariano: I'm sorry about that. Do you want to push me in a lake?
Rory Gilmore: Maybe later.

Rory: [cut to kitchen] God, how much food is in there? This could feed twelve!
Jess: Excuse me, I've seen you eat.

Rory Gilmore: Just assume that Jeannie's gonna get Major Healey out of whatever scrape he's in.
Jess Mariano: Gee, thanks for spoiling it for me.

Rory Gilmore: Sarcasm does not become you.
Lane Kim: Maybe not but it does sustain me.

[Rory and Lane are shopping for hair dye]
Lane Kim: God! There's a lot of cheese associated with the color pink. How about blue?
Rory Gilmore: Blue isn't right for your skin tone. And I agree with you about pink. What about purple?
Lane Kim: Yes purple.

Lane: You need some perspective on sex from me?
Rory: I need some perspective on sex with Dean from you.

Rory: Because then you would have known that I was calling, and therefore that I liked you.
Dean: Yes, but I liked you too.
Rory: Well, I know that now.
Dean: You could have known that then.
Rory: Dean, please, this is a girl thing.

Jess: Sure you don't want a soda?
Rory Gilmore: Yeah, I'm sure.
[awkward pause]
Jess: Please let me get you a soda. I gotta do something other than stand here like a moron.
Rory Gilmore: Take comfort in the fact that you are not doing it alone.

Rory: Hey, can you stash this at your house till the party? It's just favors and stuff.
Lane: Ironic, isn't it? You having to hide stuff at my house for a change.
Rory: Life has come full circle.

Rory Gilmore: She didn't know how to get it out of reverse.
Luke: So she drove it in reverse all the way from her house?

Rory Gilmore: You quiched my room!
Sookie St. James: They're not quiche. They're broccoli tarts.
Rory Gilmore: Then you tarted up my room.

Lane Kim: It's people like you who are destroying music.
Rory Gilmore: Oh no, Britney's got some of the blame.

Rory Gilmore: The floor wasn't too comfortable, huh?
Lane Kim: No it was fine... till Paris came home and stepped on my face.

Rory: I have no words.
Logan: It was just a joke!
Rory: Oh no wait I thought of some, jerk, ass, arrogant, inconsiderate, mindless, frat boy, low-life, butt-face miscreant.
Logan: Butt-face miscreant?

Rory: I am not a fan of ladders.
Logan: They scare the crap out of me too.

Logan: Rory, you're special.
Rory: Like, "Stop eating the paste" special?

Reverend Boteright: You know, Rory, being a young lady comes with many gifts. Your virtue, for example, is a gift, a precious gift, possibly the most precious gift you possess.
Rory: Uh huh...
Reverend Boteright: You want to give this gift very carefully. It is a gift you can only give to one man. Once you give it, it's gone, you cant re-gift it. If you give it away too soon, to the wrong man, then when the right one does come along, you have no gift to give... you'll have to buy him a sweater. Do you understand what I'm saying?
Rory: No.
Reverend Boteright: Think long and hard about when and to whom you want to give the ultimate gift you have to give away.
Rory: Oh.
Reverend Boteright: Yes.
Rory: Oh dear...
Reverend Boteright: Oh dear indeed.
Rory: Um, well, listen, reverend, I really appreciate you taking the time out of what I assume is a busy day to come here and talk to me about... all of this, but I'm afraid the ultimate gift ship has sailed.
Reverend Boteright: What?
Rory: A while ago... it's probably in Fiji by now.

Lane Kim: Hey, do you wanna be our D.A. Pennebaker? We're borrowing a videocamera and we need someone sober to do the photography.
Rory Gilmore: I can set my crack pipe aside for a night and do that.

Dr. Shapiro: Who's Dean?
Rory: My married ex-boyfriend who I lost my virginity to!

Rory: You only did it one time, and - wow! - a baby!
Lane: That's what ya get, folks, for makin' whoopee!