Stick It

Haley: Elite gymnastics is like the Navy Seals, only harder. There are like 2,000 Navy Seals, there are only like 200 elite gymnasts. Guess that's because most kids would rather have a life than spend six hours a day training tricks that could kill you. Look, don't be fooled by the leotards people. The things gymnasts do make Navy Seals look like wusses. And we do them without a gun.

Joanne: What do they have that we don't have?
Haley: Boobs.

Joanne: You know boys?
Haley: Yes. They're called friends. You should try it some time.

Joanne: It's not called gym-NICE-tics.

Poot: Dude, how did we not know about this sport?

Haley: Every girl here wants the same thing. To justify this crazy thing we do and stand on that podium and be the best. And we want it so bad that we will fight each other for it. Who are we really competing against? I mean, we all want to win, but should we be fighting each other? Or the officials? Maybe they judge us so hardly because of one thing - they want to be like us. I mean, everyone knows they're just jealous.

Burt: This isn't the real world. This is my world. You don't have to like me or like it here, but you do have to respect it.

Haley: Dalmatians are born with spots they don't earn them which is exactly my point.

Poot: Hi, I'm Poot and this is my hetero life mate, Frank.

Tricia Skilken: What do you think, huh Wei Wei? Beat that.
Wei Wei Yong: Oh, I'm so shaking things up!

Frank: I have a gut feeling something bad is gonna happen. [farts]

Poot: Man, why do you always have to bite my moment? Did it taste good?
Frank: [Slurps] Delicious.

Haley Graham: Don't worry, my heads up my butt too.

Judge Westreich: [talking to Haley] There are a lot of great people who have jerks for parents, we gotta stick together. [winks]

Joanne: OK, anything to get out of this tard, that's leo-tard without the leo in case your wondering.
Poot: Dude she's hot. What you don't think she's hot?
Frank: Man, she's got an apple butt.
Poot: A what?
Frank: An apple butt.

Haley Graham: Gymnastics tells you no. All day long. It mocks you over and over again. Telling you you're an idiot. That you're crazy. If you like running fullspeed towards a stationary object, vault's for you. If you like pealing pieces of skin the size of quarters of your hands... bars is for you. Because the only thing more fun then rips, is when your rips get rips. It's super sexy. And floor, are you serious, I mean who doesn't want to parade around in a leotard getting wedgies and doing dorky choreography? It's delicious. If you like falling, then gymnastics is thee sport for you! You get to fall on your face, your ass, your back, your knees, and your pride! It's a good thing I didn't like falling... I LOVED IT!

Tricia Skilken: Go ahead, scratch. You're all zeros anyways.

Dorrie: I said pointy feet, not pointy words! Pointy words are mouth turds.

Joanne: Deja jealous Haley?
Haley Graham: Yes, I'm so jealous of Joanne that I've already memorized her pre-school beam routine.
Dorrie: Hey, easy. I choreographed that routine.

Burt Vickerman: Where is this deduction coming from?
Head Vault Judge: Her bra was showing, Burt. It is an automatic deduction if an undergarment is showing, Burt!
Burt Vickerman: She's flipping through the air, Doris, she's spinning! Of course her bra popped out! That rule is ancient!

Poot: This casa's not su casa, no way.
Stussy: Get out!
Poot: There's like 6 other empty pools!
Stussy: That aren't as deep.
Poot: You're not that good!

Frank: I'm so pissed at that kid, dude. We were totally gonna throw drinks on you. I feel so upstaged.
Poot: I know! Who do they think they are? They think they can just hate on you like that?
Frank: It's a bloody outrage, I tell you!
Poot: They're fakers, that's what! I can't stand fake Haley-haters! WE HATE HALEY MORE, PEOPLE, SO GET IN LINE!

Poot: [to Frank, after insulting Joanne] Dude, I totally hate you right now.

Joanne: Call me!
Poot: Stalk you!

Poot: Dude, when is whipped bad?
[pause]
Poot: Ever.

Burt Vickerman: Wait. Next time you should stick your tongue out too.
Haley Graham: I would, but my coach likes it when I control my tricks.

Haley Graham: [voiceover] The only reason I'm doing these tricks, is because someone said 'I don't care if this is nuts, and I don't care if it hurts. I'm gonna climb this insanely high mountain. Watch me.' And when you're the first to climb a new mountain in gymnastics, they name it after you. A Gienger, a Rufolva, a Tchusovitina, a Shaposhnakova. They all rocked. And we salute you.

Poot, Frank: [singing after being kicked out of the gym by Haley's coach] Every party has a pooper, that's why we invited you! Party pooper!

Haley Graham: There are things you wish for before big moments. I wish my friends were here. I wish my parents were different. I wish there was someone who got what was happening, and could just look at me and tell me we weren't crazy, that we weren't being stupid. Someone to say "I'm proud of you, and I got your back... no matter what."