Huge

Will: Everyone wants us to hate our bodies, but I refuse to.

Will: Oh right health, you want to tell me she's here for her health.
Amber: Don't tell me what I'm here for.

Becca: You see, everyone's overweight, so the playing field is... more like there is one.

Will: I feel like inside me, there's an even fatter person waiting to get out!

Will: Do I seem gay to you? Like on a scale of 1 to... Ellen?

Alistair: I want to be one the cat people. I bet they're really graceful.

Ian: I don't want a number to decide my whole view of myself.

Alistair: Ever try to make G.I. Joe dance in the sky? It's depressing.

Rand: There may be a self-destructive part of us that doesn't want us to get better, that's more comfortable with pain.

Privileged

Megan: Rose and Sage... pretty names...great spices... it's like I have Tourette's.

Boss [about Megan's hair]: It's just so bright
Megan: Everyone loves Lucille Ball but no one does anything about it.
Boss: This isn't about the hair, though it is really distracting...

Sage: I know who you are and p.s. I puke outfits cuter than that one.

Charlie: Yeah my job comes with a hair net, I don't judge.

Megan: Oh room, I may love you even more than car.

Megan: With great power comes great responsibility... shout out to Uncle Ben... Uncle Ben is Spiderman's uncle, not mine, I just wanted to make that clear.

Marco: I hate seeing people sleep...it's just one of my things...and wrists.. I hate looking at people's wrists...

Megan: God is not a republican... he's not a democrat... I don't think he's affiliated with any politcal party... is this vodka?

Megan: It's like they don't even appreciate all the knowledge bombs I'm dropping on them.
Charlie: Maybe that's because you're calling them knowledge bombs.

Sage: You're Rose Baker. You're hot! Come on, the guy had bacne last year, he should be kissing the ground you walk on!

Sage: Are you deaf AND fat? I just said she was dating someone.

Charlie: I don't. Giving high school girls advice is not my forte..I rock at bowling I don't even need the bumper things.

Sage: It's like watching Mary Poppins on crystal meth.

Laurel: It's nice to see you on top of things...
Megan: I like to be on top.... of things... in work situations.

Marco: Oh yes, I just love unnecessary encounters with law enforcement officers... you're on your own sledge sister..

Sage: I so would have rocked my mug shot...
Marco: I'm sure there will be plenty more opportunities.

Sage: You think you can lecture me on being a good sister? I'd jump in front of a bus to save Rose from being hurt. You'd throw Lily under a bus for fun.

Megan: What's the oracle? Other than a scary lady from the Matrix? Best movie ever, am I right?

Megan: Exactly, what else is new? Uh, nothing. You're still a trampy little tramperstein and I'm still an idiot for being nice to you.

Marco: A kiss on the beach doesn't mean they're registered at Tiffany's.

Megan: I had to go on a date just so people wouldn't think I was a lesbian..
Marco: I could see that...
Megan: I know I would make such a great lesbian.. but sadly, I'm straight.

Megan: I just came to my senses and remembered she's a boyfriend-stealing trampy tramp.

Charles: Therapized?
Megan: It's a new verb I'm working on. Of or related to having too much therapy. It's going to be in the book.

Megan: Being in the principal's office kinda makes you feel like a kid a again. You probably are a kid. Bad kid if your sitting here. I was a good kid. Not that I'm judging you. Just saying. Hugs, not drugs.

Megan: The whole tutor and headmaster feels like a whole Andrew McCarthy movie gone to DVD.

Megan: You can't not try because you're afraid your gonna fail... that'd be like not wanting to go on a date because you're afraid all guys will cheat on you... that'd be like not writing because you're afraid you're not gonna get published anyways.
Rose: Are we talking about Sex and the City now? Because I loved that movie..

Marco: Man at the front door carries a surfboard as an accessory. Has a smile that can light up my Christmas tree through February.
Megan: Charlie!
Marco: Ahh Charles. bachelor number three, a fine specimen.
Megan: I'm not dating him.
Marco: I hate you.

Megan: What is lithium?
Rose: An anti-depressant?
Megan: I was going with alkali metal...

Rose: I needed a specific kind of porn... Can we go back to chemistry?
Megan: Why do you need a specific kind of porn? Why do you need any kind of porn. Why is porn a need? Why can't I stop saying porn?

Rose: Just in case, I am on the pill... there is no way I'm getting preggers in high school.

Marco: Guys like you don't end up with girls like Megan... not now at least... maybe at the end of the movie.

Megan: And if I say all guys like big boobs you'd say?
Jacob: Not me, I hate them.

Charlie: She bought porn? Who buys porn anymore? It's all free on the internet.
Megan: Cost is not the issue here.

Megan: Which one do you prefer? And i'd like to remind you, I am a very vulnerable girl who's about to go on her first sex date in two years so mocking would be in very poor taste.
Marco: Way to knock the wind out of a girl's sails.

Megan: Who told you I was dating someone?
Will: Marco, the original gossip girl.

Megan: ...she was gonna have sex with Bobby Gardner.
Marco: the gardener?
Megan: We didn't have a lawn, much less someone to keep it neat.

Megan: I had this whole speech planned...
Marco: I'm sure it was good
Megan: Instead I let her watch porn and called her a slut.

Lily: Your friend... Parsley... Sage... the tall one!

Megan: Just cause that ship has sailed... doesn't mean it has to sail every time.

Megan: I'm talking about good old fashion self-respect... kinda big in the 90's... I hear it's making a big comeback.

Megan: Patience schmacience. I have a knot so deep in my neck it's almost a bone... I named it Sage.

Rose: It's not gonna be a high school party.. Older people are coming... Actually Will's gonna be there.
Megan: Excellent... Yeah I'll bring enough Bengay for the both of us. That's arthritis medicine.

Sage: It's an emergency... We didn't know Laurel was going out of town and everyone was gonna ditch their party for ours.. Okay that we do know... Whatev's... Work it out with your therapists people.

Megan: You girls underestimate me. This is an impenetrable force I'm all knowing, all seeing.

Megan: It'd be weird for the girls to see their headmaster in a speedo.
Charlie: Well if the man wears a speedo, I cannot allow you to date him.

Rose: I want you to invite her... your sister Lily.
Megan: Yeah... right. I hear Charles Manson is up for parole soon... Maybe he wants to catch some rays too..

Megan: I'm warning you, Lily is a disaster. This is your china shop. If you want to, invite the bull.

Lily: 9000 rooms in this house and the two of them decide to share?

Charlie: The case of Sage's exploding face has officially been solved. Apparently Betty and Veronica here thought it would be a good idea to put muscle relaxers in Sage's drink.

Megan: No kissing on campus. That was rule... I'm not sure which rule that was, but it's an important one.

Marco: You're not gonna start singing songs from Annie are you? Because I bet my bottom dollar that you could.

Charlie: Not every guy is gonna cheat on you.

Rose: Sage is just mad because our friend Precious is getting all famous.
Sage: She's not famous, she did a movie with elephants and subtitles.
Rose: I hate subtitles.
Sage: Yeah everyone does.

Marco: In my heart your up here writing trashy romance novels, don't take that away from me.

Marco: Why don't you write her a Dear John letter while your at it.
Charlie: What are you talking about?
Marco: Don't be coy with me Chuckles.

Marco: Now pass the ketchup, I need to drown out the taste of my first ever chili dog.

Megan: I hooked you up with an organization called "Once Upon a Dress." They provide donated dresses to high school girls who can't afford them for prom and homecoming.
Sage: So they wear used dresses? I'd sooner borrow someone's tooth brush.

Megan: Good morning ladies!
Sage: Okay that "first thing in the morning chipper voice" you do has to stop.

Megan: A doctor that does house calls, how quaint.
Marco: He gets $5,000 a day.
Megan: By quaint I mean holy crap.

Megan: Welcome to the public school system girls.
Sage: Oh that reminds me, I forgot to TiVo prison break.

Megan: This is the type of place most kids go to school.
Sage: Now I know why there's so much crime in this country.

Megan: He's a completely different person. He's sober, employed.
Marco: I do love a girl with low standards.

Megan: You look pretty dapper yourself.
Marco: I was gonna go all out with the musk, but then I remembered it's a straight crowd.

Lily: They're eating with us?
Sage: It's our house and our food, so technically you're eating with us.

Megan: It's like a perfect storm of everyone who gives me anxiety in my life. All that's missing is Kurt Fulman.
Marco: Old boyfriend?
Megan: No, tenth grade lab partner, had a lazy eye, freaked me out.

Sage: You have some serious balls stealing a bracelet and then wearing back to the scene of a crime.

Rose: I would give up every single one of my tennis bracelets to have dinner with my dad again.

Marco: That's the secret to a creme brulee. Plus using a torch makes me feel butch.

Sage: I know we were like fairy godmothers today, except not all old and dumpy.

Marco: You ever gonna tell me what the clickidy clack is all about or am I going to have to wait in line on Barnes & Noble with the rest of the riff raff?

Marco: Last I heard there were no reports of pigs flying or hell freezing over.

Rose: I don't know what's sadder: that you keep all your papers or that you wear that thing around your neck.
Megan: I brought this for you, I'm not that big of a fashion victim, though it does match my cardigan.

Will: If it's any consolation, I did the same thing. The first real pictures I ever took were practically illegal.
Megan: If this is going to a naked school girl place, I don't want to know about it.

Megan: Is it too late to jump off the balcony?
Will: I'd be very sad if you did, even though you are on the ground floor.

Mandy: I had you pegged as this chill Abercrombie guy, and you have more drama going on than a sorority house.

Rose: I just really need an objective opinion from an older person and you're like the oldest person I know who that doesn't work for me.
Charlie: It's a weird little world you live in Rose.

Sage: I am so sick of you worshiping at the altar of Megan Smith.
Rose: What is that supposed to mean?
Sage: You've been acting all righteous ever since her and her poly cotton ass has walked into this house.

Laurel: You're staying on, you have all the cards, we'll see how honorable you really are.

Megan: My friend Caryn is flying in from New York and she's going to stay with me the next few days and I was hoping you could show us some of that rich ass Palm Beach living. You know maybe we could take a spin on one of your yachts tomorrow afternoon.
Will: How many yachts do you think I have?
Megan: Okay well if the yachts unavailable, we can go for a ride on one of your horses or elephants.

Caryn: I can't believe you live here.. I am in awe.
Sage: And I am in awe of your outfit.
Caryn: Thanks.
Sage: Not a compliment.. why do people just assume?

Caryn: You realize one pair of their shoes would cover my rent for a month.

Sage: We want longevity, a career. I mean look at Madonna that woman is literally a hundred years old and she's still relevant, that's what we want.

Laurel: You've made your bed, Megan, I suggest you learn how to lie in it.

Sage: Why would an American guy join the Italian army? It makes no sense. My ass can write better than Ernest Hemingway.

Rose: Wait, how can you be done already I'm barely half way.
Sage: Well maybe if you didn't all waste your time looking up every other word you'd be done too.
Rose: Megan says increasing my vocabulary is the easy the way to boost comprehension.
Sage: Well Megan is old.

Caryn: Will is basically the hottest guy ever, how haven't you thrown yourself at his feet?

Megan: I don't mean he has to live wit them, he's not a slacker or anything. I mean if my family owned half the oil in this country I'd probably live with them 'til I got married.

Megan: You girls are dressed a little fancy for a night of studying.
Sage: We're going out.
Rose: We just figured it was canceled because you have a friend it town... Hi Marci.
Megan: It's Caryn, nice try.

Megan: Pork fried rice, the effects of msg, extreme bloating.

Will: I've been refilling your coffee for over a year now peter, you never had a problem with it before.
Peter: I didn't know you wipe your ass with my paychecks before. I'm sorry, was that too blunt?

Marco: What's with the furrowed brow? Someone suck the cream out of your eclair?

Marco: Okay if I knew you were throwing a pity party I would have whipped up some hors d'oeuvres.

Megan: I still cannot believe your boss would fire you over this. Not only is it unfair but it's totally illegal. You know what, give me his phone number. I can be totally scary over the phone.

Marco: Well, well, well. Someone fell out of bed and into a makeover. what's going on, red?

Will: You don't have to worry, this isn't a rebound thing. I've been out with a few women since lily and I broke things off. So by definition...
Megan: You rebounded.. and scored. Look at me using the sports metaphors!

Megan: This is not how I wanted to look when I see the guy that I'm trying to be casual about casually dating.
Marco: But mentioning your pickle breath is a rock solid turn on.

Megan: I'm all about having lots of eggs in the basket. Yes, yes, I might like one egg more than the other but the fact that I have other eggs puts the pressure off the one egg I like really like so it won't crack.
Marco: I have no idea what you just said but now I'm jonesing for an omelet.

Sage: Clearly lying to Megan is just the gateway drug.

Sage: You're getting all perspirey, you look like the help.

Megan: What are you doing climbing up my balcony?
Will: In my head this was romantic, but now I see that it's just creepy. And for the record, you're on the ground floor so there wasn't any climbing involved.

Charlie: I have nothing to prove and only $400 / month to gain.

Megan: Hi, I'm Megan, Rose and Sage's tutor. We met at the parent-teacher BBQ. We discussed our mutual love of corn.

Megan: Sage, you can leave. I need to scream at your sister in private.

Megan: You're grounded, indefinitely. We're talking the X Games of grounding, without the games. After your little French final tomorrow, you are confined to these four... make that six to eight walls. No phone, no Internet, no Pilates. Consider your new status "grounded to infinity."

Rose: Get out... are you guys a couple?
Megan: Uh no, we are not sharing. You know why? You're grounded from all fun things, including gossip, chit chat, delightful banter. You are grounded from banter.

Charlie: Will just lost a job, right? Probably the first real rejection the guy's ever had. So instead of focusing on the imaginary test you thought you gave him, why not try being the great girlfriend he needs right now?

Rose: Zachary Todd. He wears a choker, it's really hot.

Sage: I get really mad when my blood sugar gets low.

Rose [to Miles]: We also have an indoor pool, but that's more for special occasions, like those three days of winter we get.

Megan: I will take two days off your grounding if you promise never to bedazzle anything of mine again.

Miles: I'm really glad you found me because I always thought we deserved a better ending.

Will: I do know that part of being a good boyfriend is listening... and big presents never hurt either.

Sage: Yeah with you and at like parties and stuff. But you know how you're always saying, school just comes easy for me. Well being adorable just comes easy for you. It's a gift Rose, you should cherish it.

Megan: Will's a playboy right?
Marco: Generally speaking, absolutely.
Megan: So why isn't he playing me? I'm ready to go. Wearing to go. Every night's the same -- just when we get to the good part he says "oh it's getting late" or "I have an early tennis match." I mean who plays that much tennis?

Megan: Well yeah. I thought we'd, you know, have a few drinks, get a little loosely goosey. I kept drinking when you kept drinking and you're much bigger than I am and all of a sudden I got very loose very fast.

Keith: Do you ever get tired of being the Alice to all these little bratty Bradies?
Marco: I do get a little weary, mainly because I don't get to see Sam the butcher nearly enough.

Megan: I sustained a head injury trying to whore it up as per your instruction and as a head trauma victim I thought it'd be appropriate to have supply closet sex with him.

Megan: Respect is for grandmas. I want naked and stuff.

Marco: it's okay, this way the world maintains a love hate balance. I'm happy for you two high school musical looking misfits.

Megan: If Rose were a serial killer, Sage would just stay in jail to braid her hair.

Rose: Why would you lie to me so early in our relationship? I mean that is something you do in like week two when things get really hard.

Rose: As far as nerds go, you're even cooler than Michael Cera.

Megan: Cancel the check!
Will: The bank's closed.
Megan: You're a billionaire, isn't there a special number you call?
Will: Yeah it's 1-800-I'm-rich.
Megan: That's not even enough numbers.

Zach: I don't know how you girls can walk so fast in those heels.
Girls' Friend: Rose can teach you, she's your size.

Megan: Sage, when I was your age, my biggest concern was trying to get Ethan Hawke to marry me. The Realty Bites Ethan Hawke, not the "I left my wife for my nanny and haven't showered in ten days" Ethan Hawke.

Will: I'm sorry I told you to ditch your family. The woman I fell in love with could never give up on anybody.

Charlie: I love you Megan.. Tell me you feel the same way and I won't go. Tell me you need me to stay.

Rose: What if he started avoiding you after you told him you never had sex before?
Sage: I would hate him.
Rose: Exactly. Almost as much as I hate emo.

Megan: When all is said and done, he's my best friend in the whole world and I have to say goodbye.
Will: And what I'm saying is you've already kissed your best friend goodbye.

Mandy: You play and sweet and adorable but the truth is you're completely selfish. You're the worst kind of bad person cause you think your good but you're not. You're not a good person at all.

Charlie: Owe! You're unusually strong for a little person.

Sage: Umm.. you're obsessing over a fat girl from spacecamp and I'm overreacting? My guy is a religious zealot!

Keith: I did the math and it turns out Smirnoff vanilla vodka is cheaper than artificial insemination.

Marco: Waiting for a distraction is not a plan.
Megan: Well it's less fattening than your turtle plan.

Megan: Some might say she's single-handedly revitalizing the economy with her shopping addiction.
Rami: Some might ask you to take that silver lining and hang me with it.

Rose: You know how I moved in to my own room about a month ago after I found out you guys all lied to me about different stuff?
Megan: You decided to kill us and leave our bodies in the woods?
Rose: Wow, that's super dark Megan.

Sage: I don't need bullets points to make people agree with me, I have a black AMEX card for that.

Zach: I don't know if I'm ever gonna be the type of guy that can go number two in the woods.

Rose: All this personal growth stuff is stressful.. it's hard figuring out who you want to be.
Sage: Frankly I don't know why we started trying. Things were a lot easier when we just shopped... I blame Megan.
Sage: Totally.