Wade: Lemon, another beer.
Lemon: You snap those fingers at me one more time Wade, and I'll swear to God I will chop them off that dainty little hand of yours.
Lavon: Zoe, Wade just text me, he says it's an emergency. You need to go home.
Zoe: As if I 'm gonna fall for that. Nice try Wade. Lavon, text him back and tell him to blow it out his wazoo.
Zoe: Well, do you think you could be done with him by 11?
Joelle: Why?
Zoe: Oh, man, this is awkward. I thought Wade told you. See, all that fighting we do, it's foreplay. Tell Wade I am sorry I let the cat out of the bag. But, still, if you could be done with him by 11 that would be fantastic.
Lavon: I couldn't sleep last night. Saw something that upset me.
Zoe: Was it Wade and Joelle making out on his porch again? That woman kisses like she's eating corn.
Wade: Sometimes I just think you're just the saddest person in the world. You're always looking over your shoulder wondering what life should be instead of taking it for what it is. You're not honest about what makes you happy. You what I'm going to do tonight, I'm going to go home and play video games for two or three hours.
Zoe: Oh, good for you. Dream big.
Wade: What I'm not going to do is beat myself up for playing video games instead of saving the world. If I wanted to save the world, hell, I'll do it tomorrow.
Zoe: If you have time between video games.
Wade: EXACTLY! Cause it's my choice. Just like it was your choice to stay in Bluebell, just like it was your choice to be a G.P. instead of a supersonic space surgeon or whatever. And it was your choice to go to bed with me. Clearly and something about every one of those choices make you happy. The problem is they don't match up with the picture you made up in your head about what your life should be.
George: You know what I'd say Brick, I'd say I'm sorry. That I really am so truly sorry for breaking your daughters heart. The last thing I wanted to do this in the world was hurt her or hurt you. Fact of the matter is, you've been nothing less than a father to me Brick.
Brick: Well, maybe that's why it hurts so much. Lemon's loss, it was my loss too. You were in my family for fifteen years and felt like I was losing a son.
Lemon: [To Brick] Remind the gardener to trim back the roses and re-fertilize the front lawn and pick up your dry cleaning. Don't forget you need to lift and pull up on the dryer door when it get's stuck and-
Brick: I can run my own home...
Zoe: Ever since we become monogamous, we have been sleeping less than ever.
Lavon: No details necessary.
Zoe: Why should you be worried, we’re only colleagues remember?
Ethan: Zoe, look.
Zoe: What? The way you’re talking to me right now, it’s almost like you’re my dad. That is crazy. Right, Ethan.
Ethan: Okay, I can see that you’re upset.
Zoe: Oh yeah? Well, why should I be upset? Because the one man that I have looked up to my entire life, the man who I thought was my father until eight months ago abandoned me, stopped returning my phone calls without any explanation as to why, turned me into the kind of girl who was so desperate for affection she doesn’t know how to be in a relationship with men!
Ethan: Look, I didn’t know you were angry.
Zoe: Of course, I’m angry! I have every right to be. Okay? I don’t want to be your freaking friend. Alright? I would rather go back to having no relationship with you at all than having some crappy fake one. So if you have nothing else to say to me, why don’t you go back to New York?
Wade: Hey guys, isn’t my girlfriend great? I mean, kind, generous, beautiful, and I mean, a firecracker in the sack.
Zoe: I’m the town doctor, you can’t just – Hey I suppose though, its beneficial for the people to know that I have a healthy sex life. We all should.
Wade: She’s like the mayor of pound town and city hall is open all day every day.
Zoe: Relationships are hard, especially when you are married to a man who doesn’t shower and hangs out in horse stalls; a man who lets a raccoon eat your very, very, very expensive wooden shoes just to prove a point; a man who borrows things like your buggy and then loses it after drinking too much spirits; a man who conveniently forgets about your romantic orange picking plans when his buddy shows up who on top of it lies to you when said buddy takes him to a strip club! That’s right, a strip club!
Wade: Luckily, my wife is very understanding. She understands, for example, that I was just going to get a beer ‘cause it’s ‘two for one’ at the Fox Trap.
Zoe: A person can only give so much understanding. How can I be in a relationship with someone so immature? You need a babysitter.
Wade: I’m sorry? I’m immature? You’re the one taking relationship advice from a two-hundred year old dead woman.
Zoe: Who was helpful! It was working!
Wade: It was ridiculous, alright! You can’t avoid arguing.
Zoe: Well, we’re not avoiding it now, are we?!
Wade: No ma’am. Where are you – where are you...
Monday, November 19, 2012
Hart of Dixie: Minor Characters
Magnolia: I’d like to butter his biscuit.
Ruby: It's not a job if they don't pay you.
Ruby: It's not a job if they don't pay you.
Hart of Dixie: Dash DeWitt
Our children are a reflection of ourselves and your little angel is a little bit of a hoo-hoo-hooligan.
Hart of Dixie: Tom Long
You're like the girl of my dreams and the girl I made on my computer all in one.
Hart of Dixie: Annabeth Nass
You know what we saw? A force of nature at work. Someone who doesn't hear the word "no", when you set your mind to something you will it into existence. You always have. Take those powers and use them for good.
[Lavon] He is so gorgeous. Like drop dead, spank it on the ass, gorgeous. I'm married so I can say that.
[Wade] You can see into his window. He must sleep naked. Does he sleep naked?
[Lavon] He is so gorgeous. Like drop dead, spank it on the ass, gorgeous. I'm married so I can say that.
[Wade] You can see into his window. He must sleep naked. Does he sleep naked?
Hart of Dixie: Shelley Ng
I have to put a stop to this; asking Wade how to woo women is like asking a hunter how to train bears. A woman wants a romantic gesture. Do that.
Hart of Dixie: Dr. Brick Breeland
You see, to southern people, who we came from is who we are.
Maybe that's why it hurts so much. Lemon's loss was my loss too. You were in my family for fifteen years. It felt like I was losing a son.
Maybe that's why it hurts so much. Lemon's loss was my loss too. You were in my family for fifteen years. It felt like I was losing a son.
Hart of Dixie: George Tucker
Your immaturity has no bounds.
I'm sorry. I really am so truly sorry for breaking your daughter's heart. The last thing I would ever want in this world was to hurt her or hurt you. The fact of the matter is you've been nothing less than a father to me, Brick.
I feel like I’m asking a stripper out to go dancing.
There are a lot of people in this town and they try to live life by the book, and it hasn’t worked out so well for them.
I'm sorry. I really am so truly sorry for breaking your daughter's heart. The last thing I would ever want in this world was to hurt her or hurt you. The fact of the matter is you've been nothing less than a father to me, Brick.
I feel like I’m asking a stripper out to go dancing.
There are a lot of people in this town and they try to live life by the book, and it hasn’t worked out so well for them.
Hart of Dixie: Wade Kinsella
You are a certified crazy person, you know that? Historically, I found that hot, but I think I'm cured.
I still think number six is doable, all we need is a helicopter and a tiny monkey.
You're single for the first time since Clinton was President and you're spending it alone on boat when you should be naked with strangers, boat optional.
If it walks like a duck and it sounds like a duck, then the doctor of the duck is banging Zoe Hart.
I'm peachy keen, jelly bean.
I considered it, but then I decided I needed to clear the air. See Lavon was right. I did like you. You’re plaguing me, walking around in your little outfits, smiling. It confused my feelings. But now I see those feelings was just, uh, just sexual frustration. You see, you were the first and only girl I couldn’t get to sleep with me and it messed up my mind. It got me diluted so I was thinking you were like this, uh, this like holy grail which sweetie you are not. See if we had just slept together that first night we met I would have seen you as the annoying, electricity robbin’ neighbor that you are.
A woman will mistake finally having good sex for connection.
You had A+ sex for the first time. For me, it was more B, B-.
I don't want you to take this the wrong way but God sometimes I just think you are the saddest person in the world. I was looking over your shoulder wondering what life should be instead of taking it for what it is. You're not honest about what makes you happy. You know what I want to do tonight? I'm gonna go home, I'm gonna play video games for two or three hours. What I'm not gonna do is beat myself up for playing videos games instead of saving the world. If I want to save the world, hell I'll do it tomorrow.
If you want to happy Doc, change your picture or change your life.
As luck would have it, you have hit upon my area of expertise. My friend let me introduce you to the compliment sandwich. On top you’ve got your bread, nice little piece of flattery like, “Your beauty humbles a simple man like me.” Then quickly get to the meat, “but you and I both know timing isn’t right for us.” And then before she has a chance to argue, you hit her is one final compliment, “A woman as perfect as you deserves it all.”
I still think number six is doable, all we need is a helicopter and a tiny monkey.
You're single for the first time since Clinton was President and you're spending it alone on boat when you should be naked with strangers, boat optional.
If it walks like a duck and it sounds like a duck, then the doctor of the duck is banging Zoe Hart.
I'm peachy keen, jelly bean.
I considered it, but then I decided I needed to clear the air. See Lavon was right. I did like you. You’re plaguing me, walking around in your little outfits, smiling. It confused my feelings. But now I see those feelings was just, uh, just sexual frustration. You see, you were the first and only girl I couldn’t get to sleep with me and it messed up my mind. It got me diluted so I was thinking you were like this, uh, this like holy grail which sweetie you are not. See if we had just slept together that first night we met I would have seen you as the annoying, electricity robbin’ neighbor that you are.
A woman will mistake finally having good sex for connection.
You had A+ sex for the first time. For me, it was more B, B-.
I don't want you to take this the wrong way but God sometimes I just think you are the saddest person in the world. I was looking over your shoulder wondering what life should be instead of taking it for what it is. You're not honest about what makes you happy. You know what I want to do tonight? I'm gonna go home, I'm gonna play video games for two or three hours. What I'm not gonna do is beat myself up for playing videos games instead of saving the world. If I want to save the world, hell I'll do it tomorrow.
If you want to happy Doc, change your picture or change your life.
As luck would have it, you have hit upon my area of expertise. My friend let me introduce you to the compliment sandwich. On top you’ve got your bread, nice little piece of flattery like, “Your beauty humbles a simple man like me.” Then quickly get to the meat, “but you and I both know timing isn’t right for us.” And then before she has a chance to argue, you hit her is one final compliment, “A woman as perfect as you deserves it all.”
Hart of Dixie: Lavon Hayes
Some people say that women can't have it all... Those people obviously never met Lemon Breeland.
We can keep our feelings aside as long as you want to. Doesn’t mean they don’t exist.
Comb your damn hair. Put on a clean shirt. Zoe may not be with Judson today but there are a lot of other Judsons out there. Serious men with adult responsibilities, with the sense to tell a girl how they feel. But right now there is no one else. The only thing keeping you from being with Zoe Hart is you.
Surely you can ask the man a question without falling into bed.
Do you even know what a mayor is? A mediator. People come to you with every issue you can imagine. And it is your job to figure out what they need. And guess what, I’m good at it. As a matter of fact, I’m great at it.
May we each find our Bora Bora wherever it may be.
We can keep our feelings aside as long as you want to. Doesn’t mean they don’t exist.
Comb your damn hair. Put on a clean shirt. Zoe may not be with Judson today but there are a lot of other Judsons out there. Serious men with adult responsibilities, with the sense to tell a girl how they feel. But right now there is no one else. The only thing keeping you from being with Zoe Hart is you.
Surely you can ask the man a question without falling into bed.
Do you even know what a mayor is? A mediator. People come to you with every issue you can imagine. And it is your job to figure out what they need. And guess what, I’m good at it. As a matter of fact, I’m great at it.
May we each find our Bora Bora wherever it may be.
Hart of Dixie: Lemon Breeland
Your medical help is appreciated but your family counseling is not.
I'm working hard on not slapping you silly, does that count?
You may be a snobby New Yorker with horrible fashion sense but at least you have a career.
I mean I still hate and I'll hate you until your dying day
I'm working hard at not slapping you right now, does that count?
God gave you a big heart that he left you no room for plain sense.
I'm working hard on not slapping you silly, does that count?
You may be a snobby New Yorker with horrible fashion sense but at least you have a career.
I mean I still hate and I'll hate you until your dying day
I'm working hard at not slapping you right now, does that count?
God gave you a big heart that he left you no room for plain sense.
Hart of Dixie: Dr. Zoe Hart
Okay, we don't get ticks in New York City. Kind of like how you guys don't get movies not made by Michael Bay.
If that line ever works for you, tell that poor girl to come to my office so I can dispense her some medicine.
They don't like my New York flag, they don't even like my shorts.
How about fire ants in his underwear drawer? That'll leave a mark.
But then I realized that it wasn't fair of me to pour all of my bitterness and resentment into one parent.
Last night, while George was calling off his wedding, I was having sex with Wade.
Let's just say I finally understand what R. Kelly has been singing about all of these years...
I am a strong and confident woman Wade. And I know that from the fact that I have had sex with no less than four other men, okay, none of who have complained that I am in great in bed. GREAT! Just like I am at everything else I do. I don't have anything to prove to you! You got that?
It takes a lot of marshmallows to get any nutritional value. Plus it's almost been 24 hours since I've had sex with Wade, it's either this or smoking.
I wrote that I am a thriving and beloved G.P. in a small town where everyday brings a new medical adventure and I'm changing lives and healing the world by reinventing healthcare in Bluebell, Alabama.... I may have exaggerated a little.
Well for someone who is annoyed with me and definitely, positively doesn't want to sleep with me, you spend awful a lot of time at my house without a shirt.
But yo Simba how about a little heads up if their is going to be a hot new lioness in the den when Nola comes home.
Yeah, that's me, with my girly Wi-Fi connection and my silly cell phone that I only use to look at pictures of ponies.
I am a Belle: a southern Belle, a ‘Bama Belle, a Dixie Belle. I got secrets I won’t tell. Ya’ll don’t like it, go to - Hello soldier, what’s your pleasure?
Oh my God. I am a mistress. A mistress named Carl.
George Tucker is a man: a man who saved the hardware store, a man who got Eric Sunberg his job back, who also did lots of things to make this town love him. George doesn’t do it for money or because it makes him popular. He does it out of love because he loves this town and this town is lucky to have him. Lucky to have someone so funny and charming, a man who listens when he’s with you, who really hears you, who gets you like no one else ever did. Says me, Lavon Hayes.
When the magic wears off, reality will still be here and you have to deal with it.
Even grown up, we're all fifteen at heart.
If that line ever works for you, tell that poor girl to come to my office so I can dispense her some medicine.
They don't like my New York flag, they don't even like my shorts.
How about fire ants in his underwear drawer? That'll leave a mark.
But then I realized that it wasn't fair of me to pour all of my bitterness and resentment into one parent.
Last night, while George was calling off his wedding, I was having sex with Wade.
Let's just say I finally understand what R. Kelly has been singing about all of these years...
I am a strong and confident woman Wade. And I know that from the fact that I have had sex with no less than four other men, okay, none of who have complained that I am in great in bed. GREAT! Just like I am at everything else I do. I don't have anything to prove to you! You got that?
It takes a lot of marshmallows to get any nutritional value. Plus it's almost been 24 hours since I've had sex with Wade, it's either this or smoking.
I wrote that I am a thriving and beloved G.P. in a small town where everyday brings a new medical adventure and I'm changing lives and healing the world by reinventing healthcare in Bluebell, Alabama.... I may have exaggerated a little.
Well for someone who is annoyed with me and definitely, positively doesn't want to sleep with me, you spend awful a lot of time at my house without a shirt.
But yo Simba how about a little heads up if their is going to be a hot new lioness in the den when Nola comes home.
Yeah, that's me, with my girly Wi-Fi connection and my silly cell phone that I only use to look at pictures of ponies.
I am a Belle: a southern Belle, a ‘Bama Belle, a Dixie Belle. I got secrets I won’t tell. Ya’ll don’t like it, go to - Hello soldier, what’s your pleasure?
Oh my God. I am a mistress. A mistress named Carl.
George Tucker is a man: a man who saved the hardware store, a man who got Eric Sunberg his job back, who also did lots of things to make this town love him. George doesn’t do it for money or because it makes him popular. He does it out of love because he loves this town and this town is lucky to have him. Lucky to have someone so funny and charming, a man who listens when he’s with you, who really hears you, who gets you like no one else ever did. Says me, Lavon Hayes.
When the magic wears off, reality will still be here and you have to deal with it.
Even grown up, we're all fifteen at heart.
Switched at Birth: Multiple Characters
Angelo: Have you ever played with a band?
Toby: Yeah but my bass player got shipped off to boarding school and my drummer had sex with my girlfriend, so I'm kinda nowhere right now.
Toby: Yeah but my bass player got shipped off to boarding school and my drummer had sex with my girlfriend, so I'm kinda nowhere right now.
Switched at Birth: Minor Characters
Tina: People like this kind of true-life horror story with a happy ending.
Alex [about Bay]: So we bonded over our hatred of the sun and the ocean instead.
Patrick: I'd rather be in a relationship where both people choose to, not because getting out of it would be a pain in the ass.
Alex: He rode up on his motorcycle looking like a deaf James Dean.
Alex [about Bay]: So we bonded over our hatred of the sun and the ocean instead.
Patrick: I'd rather be in a relationship where both people choose to, not because getting out of it would be a pain in the ass.
Alex: He rode up on his motorcycle looking like a deaf James Dean.
Switched at Birth: Chef Jeff
I have to treat you just like any other employee even though I just want to kiss you right now.
Switched at Birth: Wilke
It's not fun going after something you're never going to get. That's why you've got to give up the ghost.
You thought my life was one giant kegstand.
You thought my life was one giant kegstand.
Switched at Birth: Melody
Sometimes it's hard to be the one who cares the most.
You live in a world of money. Money means choices. No money, no choices. Welcome to reality.
He can amuse my mouth, anytime he wants.
You live in a world of money. Money means choices. No money, no choices. Welcome to reality.
He can amuse my mouth, anytime he wants.
Switched at Birth: Regina Vasquez
You signed "hang out" wrong. You wrote "you guys get circumcised a lot."
Listen to me, you are not the worst thing you've ever done. You did something thoughtless, people suffered, you try to make amends and you move on.
Why would I be supportive of you dating somebody so totally inappropriate?
Listen to me, you are not the worst thing you've ever done. You did something thoughtless, people suffered, you try to make amends and you move on.
Why would I be supportive of you dating somebody so totally inappropriate?
Switched at Birth: Kathryn Kennish
You carried me, we share the same DNA and right now I couldn't feel any less connected to you.
She's a teenage girl. It's easier for her to yell at us about one thing when she's upset about another.
She's a teenage girl. It's easier for her to yell at us about one thing when she's upset about another.
Switched at Birth: John Kennish
We have been cutting you slack, we have been making excuses for your bad behavior ever since we found out about the switch.
Switched at Birth: Emmett
I can't imagine a world in which I couldn't check out sometimes. That's gotta suck.
You're the star and I'm the star's best friend, which makes me your entourage.
You're the one place in my life I can go to get away from everything.
You're the star and I'm the star's best friend, which makes me your entourage.
You're the one place in my life I can go to get away from everything.
Switched at Birth: Toby Kennish
We should change the name of our band to "Free Beer."
Dude, you're really trying to be a referee in a girl fight? Can I get you a training bra while you're at it?
I hope whoever broke your heart actually got to hear that.
Dude, you're really trying to be a referee in a girl fight? Can I get you a training bra while you're at it?
I hope whoever broke your heart actually got to hear that.
Switched at Birth: Daphne Vasquez
I can't believe you think I'm the type of girl who would sleep with someone else's boyfriend.
I just wanted to be able to save him after all of the times he's saved me.
Sometimes I just wish I could be Daphne. Not deaf, not hearing, just a girl playing basketball.
Am I just like a cardigan wearing, opposite-of-sex, hopeless geek?
She's cute, she's deaf, and she's into motorcycles. She's the perfect girl for you.
I know you want to be smart and I do too. But I don't always want to wonder if we missed out on something really good because we were too scared.
I know what that means. It means, "I don't love you back."
Because that's the thing, the day before your life changes forever, it's just like any other day.
I just wanted to be able to save him after all of the times he's saved me.
Sometimes I just wish I could be Daphne. Not deaf, not hearing, just a girl playing basketball.
Am I just like a cardigan wearing, opposite-of-sex, hopeless geek?
She's cute, she's deaf, and she's into motorcycles. She's the perfect girl for you.
I know you want to be smart and I do too. But I don't always want to wonder if we missed out on something really good because we were too scared.
I know what that means. It means, "I don't love you back."
Because that's the thing, the day before your life changes forever, it's just like any other day.
Switched at Birth: Bay Kennish
Sometimes I would like to be known as someone besides the girl who was switched at birth.
She's actually pretty cool when she's not turning your art show into a telenovela for the hard of hearing.
You wanna do something to make this better? Don't be in my world anymore.
I wasn't sure what you get your bio mom for marrying your bio dad so he doesn't get deported, and it wasn't exactly like you guys had a registry, but congratulations!
We have found some real common ground here. You're gonna help me with trig and I'm gonna help you with your borderline slutty re-branding.
It is people who are otherwise invisible, expressing themselves the only way they know how.
I don't exactly give off the virginal vibe.
You know, somebody who is sleeping with her 85 year old boss probably shouldn't throw stones.
You ripped the fabric apart. You can't just tape it back together with words.
She's actually pretty cool when she's not turning your art show into a telenovela for the hard of hearing.
You wanna do something to make this better? Don't be in my world anymore.
I wasn't sure what you get your bio mom for marrying your bio dad so he doesn't get deported, and it wasn't exactly like you guys had a registry, but congratulations!
We have found some real common ground here. You're gonna help me with trig and I'm gonna help you with your borderline slutty re-branding.
It is people who are otherwise invisible, expressing themselves the only way they know how.
I don't exactly give off the virginal vibe.
You know, somebody who is sleeping with her 85 year old boss probably shouldn't throw stones.
You ripped the fabric apart. You can't just tape it back together with words.
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