American Dreams: Season Two

The smart ones make lousy military wives. - Diane

Is the doctor going to take blood, because that counts as a shot. - Will

My mother always said only tramps and whores where red. - Diane

Why is it he can go out with every coed and you can't date 100 guys? - Roxanne

Sometimes you have to get behind the wheel. Lots of guys like a girl that knows how to steer. - Roxanne

Drew: I would have introduced you except I couldn't remember her name.
Meg: Oh, that makes me feel better because I thought you couldn't remember mine.

Nobody's ever believed in me as much as you have. I mean it. - Lenny

For a very smart girl you lack some common sense. - Helen

Just tell me what city you're in, and I'm on the greyhound. - Roxanne

You gotta learn, you gotta pick and choose your battles. - Henry

You're just some girl who went all the way with some guy going on his first tour. - Meg

Roxanne: Remember when he was three and we made him eat those worms?
Meg: You made him. I just put them in the cupcakes.

I found out what they mean when they say "leave no man behind," because we don't. When you go out into battle, everyone on your team is looking out for each other. And that's how you make it. Everyone is behind you, Will. - J.J.

One for my baby and one for the road. Sinatra. - Pete

If someone is putting a noose around your neck and you're trying to take it off. That's not violence. - Sam

Meg: Is that legal?
Roxanne: It is when you drop out of catholic school.

So my brother likes a beer or two. What guy doesn't? - Jack

As serious as a heart attack. - Pete

You cannot tell me how to act. - Meg

What kind of guy in college messes around with a girl in high school? - J.J.

Girls can be a challenge. - Helen

Get it. My life is none of your business. - Meg

Most of these girls are here because they have nothing else. - Lenny

Have some waffles with your syrup. - Helen

That's exactly why God gave you a brother - so you could date his friends. - Roxanne

They have payphones on tour. - Roxanne

He probably misses you so much that he doesn't know what to say. It's probably easier not talking at all. - Luke

See, dating two guys at the same time isn't so hard. - Roxanne

Well my grandfather used to say when you don't know what to do, flip a coin. - Meg

If ping pong was a real sport, I'd have a gold medal. - Perez

That's not a family tree, Will. That's a family tumbleweed. - Patty

Meg: How am I supposed to compete with all theses girls who don't have -
Roxanne: Morals?
Meg: Curfews.

Meg, they are always ready before you are. - Roxanne

No, everyone goes out to meet Mr. Right, I've already met him. - Beth

Did you ever hear the expression, "If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is?" - Henry

Remember to hold the door open for her. And tell her she looks nice. Oh, and don't try to kiss her unless you've held her hand first. Girls hate that. - Roxanne

A colored man can be his own boss. - Melvin Bishop

Put up or shut up. - Perez

We do a man's work here. War is no place for a woman. - Perez

I'd help too but when Meg's driving, we should all stay off the road. - Patty

People always pay up when they see a cop. - Pete

Sometimes with your brother, it's like having another child around. - Helen

Some people think the world revolves around them. - Jack

You want some cover up, try a paper bag. - Roxanne

Why do I feel like I'm catching stupid by being near you? - J.J.'s soldier friend

They're in a long distance argument. - Patty

What kind of religion tells you not to fight for your country? - Henry

People shouldn't have to fight if they don't believe in it. - Meg

I'm not really the type that protests, more just the type that lets things happen. - Roxanne

You're mean enough to be a nun. - Will

The Hangover

Alan: I want you to know, I'm a steel trap. Whatever happens tonight, I will never ever ever speak a word of it. Seriously, I don't care what happens, I don't care if we kill someone.