Never say goodbye, because goodbye means going away and going away means forgetting. - Peter Pan
If you can dream it, you can do it. - Walt Disney
Never underestimate the power of a good pair of shoes. - Cinderella
All of our dreams can come true if we have the courage to pursue them. - Walt Disney
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Step Brothers
Brennan: I'm going to take a pillowcase and fill it with bars of soap and beat the shit out of you.
Brennan: Mom, I honestly thought I was gonna be raped for a second. He had the craziest look in his eyes and at one point he said, "Let's get it on."
Dale Doback: My dad and I decided that Nancy's kind of hot, so maybe we should just both bang her and in the meantime deal with the retard.
Brennan Huff: I swear, I'm so pissed off at my mom. As soon as she's of age, I'm putting her in a home.
Dale Doback: Suppose Nancy sees me coming out of the shower and decides to come on to me. I'm looking good, got a luscious v of hair going through my chest pubes down to my ball fro. She takes one look at me and she goes "Oh my god, I've had the old bull now I want the young calf" and she grabs me by the wiener.
Brennan Huff: You better not close your eyes, because as soon as you do, I'm gonna punch you square in the face!
Derek: Brennan has a man-gina.
Brennan Huff: You are making an ass out of yourself, you geriatric fuck!
Brennan Huff: I tea-bagged your drum set!
Brennan Huff: [in his therapist's fantasy] I've come five hundred miles to deliver my seed.
Brennan Huff: This house is a fucking prison!
Dale Doback: On Planet Bullshit!
Brennan Huff: In the galaxy of This Sucks Camel Dicks!
Brennan Huff: Sticks and stones may break my bones, but I will kick you repeatedly in the balls!
Dale Doback: Martha Stewart, Oprah, your wife. You gotta fuck one, kill one, and marry one, who do you pick?
Brennan: Robert better not get in my face, I'll drop that motherfucker.
Dale: We're men, okay? That means a few things. We like to shit with the door open. We like to talk about pussy. We go on riverboat-gambling trips. We make our own beef jerky.
Dale: Why don't you take a picture, it'll last longer.
Dale: If you wanna get down on these hairy balls. Why don't you jump right in? It's a crotch party right up in here. Why don't you lick on this big joint?
Dale: That's so funny. Haha, the last time I laughed that hard I fell off my dinosaur.
Dale: The only reason you're living here is because me and my dad decided that your mom was really hot and maybe we should just both bang her. And we'll put up with the retard in the meantime.
Dale: You and your mom are hillbillies.
Brennan: You're a big, fat, curly-headed fuck.
Brennan: You better not go to sleep. As soon as your eyes shut, I'm gonna punch you square in the face.
Dale: I hope you stay still when you sleep because I'm putting a rat trap between your legs.
Brennan: Out of my face or I will round house your ass.
Dale: If you touch my drums I will stab you in the neck with a knife.
Dale: I'm gonna rub my balls on your mom's face.
Brennan: You drum set's a whore. I teabagged your fucking drum set!
Nancy: What the fucking fuck?
Robert: Okay here's the deal. Number one, you will fix that fucking drywall now. Number two, you have one month to find jobs or you're out on your asses.
Nancy: Today I saw my own son use a bicycle as a weapon. You yelled "rape" at the top of your lungs.
Dale: The clown has no penis.
Brennan: Hey Derek, you know what's always good for shoulder pain. If you lick my butthole.
Alice: I wanna roll you into a little ball and shove you up my vagina. You could just live there. It's warm and it's cozy. I wanna walk around with you in there and just know that whenever I feel a tickle or a scratch, it's your hair on my vagina. Please, just do it for me.
Brennan: It was Johnny Hopkins, and Sloan Kettering, and they were blazin that s##t up everyday.
Brennan: Mom, I honestly thought I was gonna be raped for a second. He had the craziest look in his eyes and at one point he said, "Let's get it on."
Dale Doback: My dad and I decided that Nancy's kind of hot, so maybe we should just both bang her and in the meantime deal with the retard.
Brennan Huff: I swear, I'm so pissed off at my mom. As soon as she's of age, I'm putting her in a home.
Dale Doback: Suppose Nancy sees me coming out of the shower and decides to come on to me. I'm looking good, got a luscious v of hair going through my chest pubes down to my ball fro. She takes one look at me and she goes "Oh my god, I've had the old bull now I want the young calf" and she grabs me by the wiener.
Brennan Huff: You better not close your eyes, because as soon as you do, I'm gonna punch you square in the face!
Derek: Brennan has a man-gina.
Brennan Huff: You are making an ass out of yourself, you geriatric fuck!
Brennan Huff: I tea-bagged your drum set!
Brennan Huff: [in his therapist's fantasy] I've come five hundred miles to deliver my seed.
Brennan Huff: This house is a fucking prison!
Dale Doback: On Planet Bullshit!
Brennan Huff: In the galaxy of This Sucks Camel Dicks!
Brennan Huff: Sticks and stones may break my bones, but I will kick you repeatedly in the balls!
Dale Doback: Martha Stewart, Oprah, your wife. You gotta fuck one, kill one, and marry one, who do you pick?
Brennan: Robert better not get in my face, I'll drop that motherfucker.
Dale: We're men, okay? That means a few things. We like to shit with the door open. We like to talk about pussy. We go on riverboat-gambling trips. We make our own beef jerky.
Dale: Why don't you take a picture, it'll last longer.
Dale: If you wanna get down on these hairy balls. Why don't you jump right in? It's a crotch party right up in here. Why don't you lick on this big joint?
Dale: That's so funny. Haha, the last time I laughed that hard I fell off my dinosaur.
Dale: The only reason you're living here is because me and my dad decided that your mom was really hot and maybe we should just both bang her. And we'll put up with the retard in the meantime.
Dale: You and your mom are hillbillies.
Brennan: You're a big, fat, curly-headed fuck.
Brennan: You better not go to sleep. As soon as your eyes shut, I'm gonna punch you square in the face.
Dale: I hope you stay still when you sleep because I'm putting a rat trap between your legs.
Brennan: Out of my face or I will round house your ass.
Dale: If you touch my drums I will stab you in the neck with a knife.
Dale: I'm gonna rub my balls on your mom's face.
Brennan: You drum set's a whore. I teabagged your fucking drum set!
Nancy: What the fucking fuck?
Robert: Okay here's the deal. Number one, you will fix that fucking drywall now. Number two, you have one month to find jobs or you're out on your asses.
Nancy: Today I saw my own son use a bicycle as a weapon. You yelled "rape" at the top of your lungs.
Dale: The clown has no penis.
Brennan: Hey Derek, you know what's always good for shoulder pain. If you lick my butthole.
Alice: I wanna roll you into a little ball and shove you up my vagina. You could just live there. It's warm and it's cozy. I wanna walk around with you in there and just know that whenever I feel a tickle or a scratch, it's your hair on my vagina. Please, just do it for me.
Brennan: It was Johnny Hopkins, and Sloan Kettering, and they were blazin that s##t up everyday.
Sweet Valley High: Bad Girl
That's exactly what he liked about her: the fact that she always said exactly what was on her mind. No holds barred.
Change is what makes life exciting. Something happens - Good or Bad, and you have to just go with it, see where it takes you, and hop for the ride. That what living is all about.
Change is what makes life exciting. Something happens - Good or Bad, and you have to just go with it, see where it takes you, and hop for the ride. That what living is all about.
How to Deal
Sometimes life is so perfect, isn't it? It has to be to make up for all the hard stuff it throws your way. You have to learn how to walk, you have to learn how to walk, you have to wear that totally ridiculous hat your grandma bought for you, and you have no say in the matter. And when you're a little older, even though you get to choose your hats, you don't get to choose what they put in those meatballs in the cafeteria, or when to fall in love... Things happen and you just have to deal... - Halley
Why does love make people crazy?! - Halley
The quickest way to end a relationship with someone is to actually try to have a relationship with them. - Halley
Love isn't about words, it's about what you do. - Macon
First loves are never really over. - Grandma
When you meet the right person and you fall in love, it's like... it's like everyone you thought, you though is... - Scarlett
You are sounding dangerously close to a Hallmark greeting card. You're going to let yourself turn into mush over somethings like sex? - Halley
You can't expect to do anything great in life if you buckle the first time some guy bats his eyes at you. - Halley
Lorna: Well Look at you Halley.
Halley: That's kinda hard to do with out a mirror.
Lorna: You keep getting pretty every day.
Halley: I have no idea how you could say that, cause you definitely don't see me everyday, do you? And yesterday, oh, my God, I was so ugly. And last Wednesday, that sucked too. So it's kind of a day to day thing.
Macon: "From small beginnings comes great things."
Michael: "Congratulations on your baby boy."
Michael: "The first time I met you you stole my heart."
Macon: "Good luck in finding a compatible organ donor." Nice.
Michael: This girl is amazing, unlike you, and she's sensitive, unlike you, and she's sexy. Unlike you.
There's gotta be a card here for a redhead from a newly smitten hunka hunka burning love. Look, summer romance has it's own section. - Macon
Well, at least if they're eloping you won't have to go to the wedding. Weddings are the worst. - Macon
Because the Jedi mind trick is when you tell someone what to think, and they think it. - Macon
The point is that you put words into somebody's mouth and they give them back to you like they've come up with the idea. - Macon
Haven't you noticed when the opposite sex get together, eventually someone ends up getting hurt? - Halley
And he is still your father, after all, and if he wants to make a complete and utter fool of himself by trying in some pathetically cliche fashion to recapture his sorry state of manhood, by hooking up with not even a very attractive bimbo, then it that's what he wants, I'm fine with that. - Lydia
You think that planning the most important day for us is a hassle? - Ashley
It's too bad you can't get a divorce before getting married, that way you could save yourself on the stupid extra step. - Halley
Okay, fall once and you may never be able to get back up again. - Halley
I thought my parents' divorce was the end of the world. That was before Michael died of a heart defect. And the world stopped, which it should have. - Halley
It was great... if you happen to be the Devil and enjoy human pain. - Halley
Well, then why do people get married, anyways? I mean, we know that they're lying to each other, but are they lying to themselves, too? How can you promise that you're gonna feel the same way forever? - Halley
Some people fall in love, I had to crash into it. - Halley
I suck with words. But sometimes words aren't the thing. Love isn't about words, it's about what you do. And what I did, running away, it was stupid. We both know love's a big, scary, evil concept. but you know, if you feel it, it's gonna follow you around like a hungry dog no matter how far you run. Wait, I didn't mean to say that love's a dog, I just mean, I'm not going anywhere. I love you Halley. If love beats us up, let's beat it up right back. We could do this, Halley. If you're ready to make the jump, then I'll be right here to catch you. - Macon
I hate the way that your hair falls in your face. And I hate the way that your voice gets really low when you're serious. And I hate the way that you bite your bottom lip when you're nervous. And the way your eyebrow goes, like that. I hate that. - Halley
But you are going to regret ever having messed up, because I'm gonna make you pay for a long time. But first, you're going to take three steps towards me. And you're going to wrap your arms around my waist. And on the count of three, two... We're gonna dance. - Halley
Thank you for showing me that socks don't need to be ironed, that one needn't employ the Dewey decimal system for their CD collection, and that, in the end, it doesn't make a whole lot of difference whether you start the toilet paper facing up or down. Despite what my parents taught me. Because Ashley, you have shown me that life is worth embracing. Even if it means making a giant fool of yourself. And lucky for me, you're willing to marry the guy who's been the biggest fool of all. So here's to a lifetime of big, messy, wonderfully out-of-order moments with the most beautiful woman in the world, my bride. - Lewis
Why does love make people crazy?! - Halley
The quickest way to end a relationship with someone is to actually try to have a relationship with them. - Halley
Love isn't about words, it's about what you do. - Macon
First loves are never really over. - Grandma
When you meet the right person and you fall in love, it's like... it's like everyone you thought, you though is... - Scarlett
You are sounding dangerously close to a Hallmark greeting card. You're going to let yourself turn into mush over somethings like sex? - Halley
You can't expect to do anything great in life if you buckle the first time some guy bats his eyes at you. - Halley
Lorna: Well Look at you Halley.
Halley: That's kinda hard to do with out a mirror.
Lorna: You keep getting pretty every day.
Halley: I have no idea how you could say that, cause you definitely don't see me everyday, do you? And yesterday, oh, my God, I was so ugly. And last Wednesday, that sucked too. So it's kind of a day to day thing.
Macon: "From small beginnings comes great things."
Michael: "Congratulations on your baby boy."
Michael: "The first time I met you you stole my heart."
Macon: "Good luck in finding a compatible organ donor." Nice.
Michael: This girl is amazing, unlike you, and she's sensitive, unlike you, and she's sexy. Unlike you.
There's gotta be a card here for a redhead from a newly smitten hunka hunka burning love. Look, summer romance has it's own section. - Macon
Well, at least if they're eloping you won't have to go to the wedding. Weddings are the worst. - Macon
Because the Jedi mind trick is when you tell someone what to think, and they think it. - Macon
The point is that you put words into somebody's mouth and they give them back to you like they've come up with the idea. - Macon
Haven't you noticed when the opposite sex get together, eventually someone ends up getting hurt? - Halley
And he is still your father, after all, and if he wants to make a complete and utter fool of himself by trying in some pathetically cliche fashion to recapture his sorry state of manhood, by hooking up with not even a very attractive bimbo, then it that's what he wants, I'm fine with that. - Lydia
You think that planning the most important day for us is a hassle? - Ashley
It's too bad you can't get a divorce before getting married, that way you could save yourself on the stupid extra step. - Halley
Okay, fall once and you may never be able to get back up again. - Halley
I thought my parents' divorce was the end of the world. That was before Michael died of a heart defect. And the world stopped, which it should have. - Halley
It was great... if you happen to be the Devil and enjoy human pain. - Halley
Well, then why do people get married, anyways? I mean, we know that they're lying to each other, but are they lying to themselves, too? How can you promise that you're gonna feel the same way forever? - Halley
Some people fall in love, I had to crash into it. - Halley
I suck with words. But sometimes words aren't the thing. Love isn't about words, it's about what you do. And what I did, running away, it was stupid. We both know love's a big, scary, evil concept. but you know, if you feel it, it's gonna follow you around like a hungry dog no matter how far you run. Wait, I didn't mean to say that love's a dog, I just mean, I'm not going anywhere. I love you Halley. If love beats us up, let's beat it up right back. We could do this, Halley. If you're ready to make the jump, then I'll be right here to catch you. - Macon
I hate the way that your hair falls in your face. And I hate the way that your voice gets really low when you're serious. And I hate the way that you bite your bottom lip when you're nervous. And the way your eyebrow goes, like that. I hate that. - Halley
But you are going to regret ever having messed up, because I'm gonna make you pay for a long time. But first, you're going to take three steps towards me. And you're going to wrap your arms around my waist. And on the count of three, two... We're gonna dance. - Halley
Thank you for showing me that socks don't need to be ironed, that one needn't employ the Dewey decimal system for their CD collection, and that, in the end, it doesn't make a whole lot of difference whether you start the toilet paper facing up or down. Despite what my parents taught me. Because Ashley, you have shown me that life is worth embracing. Even if it means making a giant fool of yourself. And lucky for me, you're willing to marry the guy who's been the biggest fool of all. So here's to a lifetime of big, messy, wonderfully out-of-order moments with the most beautiful woman in the world, my bride. - Lewis
Georgia Rule
I lie to make a point.
Save the lies for something more important than cancer.
It's about knowing the difference between right and wrong, the truth and a lie. And if you can't tell the difference then you can't trust anyone, and if you can't trust anyone then you can't love anymore.
To forgive is to move forward.
Save the lies for something more important than cancer.
It's about knowing the difference between right and wrong, the truth and a lie. And if you can't tell the difference then you can't trust anyone, and if you can't trust anyone then you can't love anymore.
To forgive is to move forward.
Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement
Being married is about being yourself, just with someone else.
Joe: No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
Joe: No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
Garden State
I know it hurts, but it's life, and it's real. And sometimes it fucking hurts, but it's life, and it's pretty much all we got.
Winnie the Pooh
Things are so much more grand and wonderful when friends are there to share them.
If you live to be 100 I want to be 100 minus one day, so I never have to live without you.
If there is ever a tomorrow when we're not together.. there is something you should always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But most important thing is even if we're apart I will always be with you in the heart.
Sometimes, if you stand on the bottom rail of a bridge and lean over to watch the river slipping slowly away beneath you, you will suddenly know everything there is to be known.
You can't help respecting anybody who can spell TUESDAY, even if he doesn't spell it right; but spelling isn't everything. There are days when spelling Tuesday simply doesn't count.
Rivers know this: there is no hurry. We shall get there some day.
Nobody can be un-cheered with a balloon.
A bear, however hard he tries, grows tubby without exercise.
I am a bear of very little brain, and long words bother me.
Just because an animal is large, it doesn't mean he doesn't want kindness; however big Tigger seems to be, remember that he wants as much kindness as Roo.
Promise me you'll never forget me because if I thought you would I'd never leave.
If the person you are talking to doesn't appear to be listening, be patient. It may simply be that he has a small piece of fluff in his ear.
I used to believe in forever, but "forever" is too good to be true.
A little consideration, a little thought for others, makes all the difference.
Don't underestimate the value of doing nothing, of just going along, listening to all the things you can't hear, and not bothering.
If there ever comes a day when we can't be together keep me in your heart, I'll stay there forever.
It is more fun to talk with someone who doesn't use long, difficult words but rather short, easy words like "What about lunch?"
You can't stay in your corner of the Forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes.
When late morning rolls around and you're feeling a bit out of sorts, don't worry; you're probably just a little eleven o'clockish.
People who don't think probably don't have brains; rather, they have grey fluff that's blown into their heads by mistake.
If you live to be 100 I want to be 100 minus one day, so I never have to live without you.
If there is ever a tomorrow when we're not together.. there is something you should always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But most important thing is even if we're apart I will always be with you in the heart.
Sometimes, if you stand on the bottom rail of a bridge and lean over to watch the river slipping slowly away beneath you, you will suddenly know everything there is to be known.
You can't help respecting anybody who can spell TUESDAY, even if he doesn't spell it right; but spelling isn't everything. There are days when spelling Tuesday simply doesn't count.
Rivers know this: there is no hurry. We shall get there some day.
Nobody can be un-cheered with a balloon.
A bear, however hard he tries, grows tubby without exercise.
I am a bear of very little brain, and long words bother me.
Just because an animal is large, it doesn't mean he doesn't want kindness; however big Tigger seems to be, remember that he wants as much kindness as Roo.
Promise me you'll never forget me because if I thought you would I'd never leave.
If the person you are talking to doesn't appear to be listening, be patient. It may simply be that he has a small piece of fluff in his ear.
I used to believe in forever, but "forever" is too good to be true.
A little consideration, a little thought for others, makes all the difference.
Don't underestimate the value of doing nothing, of just going along, listening to all the things you can't hear, and not bothering.
If there ever comes a day when we can't be together keep me in your heart, I'll stay there forever.
It is more fun to talk with someone who doesn't use long, difficult words but rather short, easy words like "What about lunch?"
You can't stay in your corner of the Forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes.
When late morning rolls around and you're feeling a bit out of sorts, don't worry; you're probably just a little eleven o'clockish.
People who don't think probably don't have brains; rather, they have grey fluff that's blown into their heads by mistake.
Mean Girls
Don't have sex because you will get pregnant and die. Don't have sex in the missionary position, don't have sex standing up. If you touch each other, you will get chlamydia and die.
In the regular world, Halloween is when children dress up in costumes and beg for candy. In girl worlds, Halloween is the one night a year when a girl can dress like a total slut and no other girl can say anything about it. The hard core girls just wear lingerie and some form of animal ears.
Janis: Regina George... How do I begin to explain Regina George?
Emma Gerber: Regina George is flawless.
Mathlete Tim Pak: I hear her hair's insured for $10,000.
Amber D'Alessio: I hear she does car commercials... in Japan.
Kristen Hadley: Her favorite movie is Varsity Blues.
Short Girl: One time she met John Stamos on a plane...
Jessica Lopez: - And he told her she was pretty.
Bethany Byrd: One time she punched me in the face... it was awesome.
Karen: So, you have your cousins, and then you have your first cousins, and then you have your second cousins...
Gretchen: That is so fetch!
Regina: Gretchen, stop trying to make fetch happen! It's not going to happen!
Cady: Regina said she'll talk to Aaron. And now she is. How can Janis hate her? She's such a good... SLUT!
Damian: She's fabulous, but she's evil.
Regina: No! Do you know what everyone says about you behind your back? Hmm? They say that you're a home schooled jungle freak that's a less hot version of me! Yeah, so don't try to act so innocent! You can take that fake apology, and shove it right up your hairy c...
Cady: Half the people in this room are mad at me, and the other half only like me because they think I pushed somebody in front a bus, so that's not good.
Coach Carr: Don't have sex, because you will get pregnant and die! Don't have sex in the missionary position, don't have sex standing up, just don't do it, OK, promise? OK, now everybody take some rubbers.
In the regular world, Halloween is when children dress up in costumes and beg for candy. In girl worlds, Halloween is the one night a year when a girl can dress like a total slut and no other girl can say anything about it. The hard core girls just wear lingerie and some form of animal ears.
Janis: Regina George... How do I begin to explain Regina George?
Emma Gerber: Regina George is flawless.
Mathlete Tim Pak: I hear her hair's insured for $10,000.
Amber D'Alessio: I hear she does car commercials... in Japan.
Kristen Hadley: Her favorite movie is Varsity Blues.
Short Girl: One time she met John Stamos on a plane...
Jessica Lopez: - And he told her she was pretty.
Bethany Byrd: One time she punched me in the face... it was awesome.
Karen: So, you have your cousins, and then you have your first cousins, and then you have your second cousins...
Gretchen: That is so fetch!
Regina: Gretchen, stop trying to make fetch happen! It's not going to happen!
Cady: Regina said she'll talk to Aaron. And now she is. How can Janis hate her? She's such a good... SLUT!
Damian: She's fabulous, but she's evil.
Regina: No! Do you know what everyone says about you behind your back? Hmm? They say that you're a home schooled jungle freak that's a less hot version of me! Yeah, so don't try to act so innocent! You can take that fake apology, and shove it right up your hairy c...
Cady: Half the people in this room are mad at me, and the other half only like me because they think I pushed somebody in front a bus, so that's not good.
Coach Carr: Don't have sex, because you will get pregnant and die! Don't have sex in the missionary position, don't have sex standing up, just don't do it, OK, promise? OK, now everybody take some rubbers.
Into the Wild
When you want something in life, you gotta reach out and grab it.
Christopher McCandless: You don't need human relationships to be happy, God has placed it all around us.
Christopher McCandless: If we admit that human life can be ruled by reason, then all possibility of life is destroyed.
Christopher McCandless: Rather than love, than money, than faith, than fame, than fairness... give me truth.
Christopher McCandless: I read somewhere... how important it is in life not necessarily to be strong... but to feel strong.
Christopher McCandless: You don't need human relationships to be happy, God has placed it all around us.
Christopher McCandless: If we admit that human life can be ruled by reason, then all possibility of life is destroyed.
Christopher McCandless: Rather than love, than money, than faith, than fame, than fairness... give me truth.
Christopher McCandless: I read somewhere... how important it is in life not necessarily to be strong... but to feel strong.
Scrubs
A person doesn't have to be perfect to be exactly what you need.
Dr. Cox: People are just bastard covered bastards with bastard filling.
Dr. Cox: This moment is so great I'd cheat on that other moment from before, marry this one and raise a family of little moments!
Dr. Cox: I love this moment so much I want to have sex with it.
Turk: You know, I never get chocolate cake.
Elliot: Oh, right, cause you're diabetic. Boo hoo. You know Turk, if you want sympathy, get a disease people can see!
Elliot: Dr. Cox, does this lipstick make me look like a clown?
Dr. Cox: No, Barbie... It makes you look like a prostitute who caters exclusively TO clowns.
Dr. Cox: Hey, Betty. Hey, Wilma. Oh, what the hell, you're only forty minutes late. Do I... do I smell beer?
JD: Uh, we... uh, we had a few.
Dr. Cox: Newsflash, you can't drink and then come to work. You're not airline pilots.
Dr. Cox: Let me ask you a quick question: are you trying to make my head explode? Because you have no idea just how frustrating it is working your ass off trying to inflate a tiny little balloon inside somebody's clogged artery when all that person has to do, really is - oh, I don't know - go for a walk in the morning or choke down a fresh green salad. And you come back here looking like that? And, I know here, I know I'm supposed to be Dr. Give-A-Crap, but you wanna hear the God's honest truth? And this is a fact: you are what you eat. And you clearly went out and devoured a big fat guy, didn't ya?
Carla: You can deny you like her all you want. But, I know for a fact, that every time you guys are done "playing racquetball" or "having a conversation" or whatever it is you crazy kids are calling it, you like nothing more than to just lie next to Jordan and watch her sleep.
Dr. Cox: It would be impossible for me to lie next to Jordan, she sleeps hanging from a ramp in the ceiling, wrapped in a cocoon of her own wings.
Dr. Cox: People are just bastard covered bastards with bastard filling.
Dr. Cox: This moment is so great I'd cheat on that other moment from before, marry this one and raise a family of little moments!
Dr. Cox: I love this moment so much I want to have sex with it.
Turk: You know, I never get chocolate cake.
Elliot: Oh, right, cause you're diabetic. Boo hoo. You know Turk, if you want sympathy, get a disease people can see!
Elliot: Dr. Cox, does this lipstick make me look like a clown?
Dr. Cox: No, Barbie... It makes you look like a prostitute who caters exclusively TO clowns.
Dr. Cox: Hey, Betty. Hey, Wilma. Oh, what the hell, you're only forty minutes late. Do I... do I smell beer?
JD: Uh, we... uh, we had a few.
Dr. Cox: Newsflash, you can't drink and then come to work. You're not airline pilots.
Dr. Cox: Let me ask you a quick question: are you trying to make my head explode? Because you have no idea just how frustrating it is working your ass off trying to inflate a tiny little balloon inside somebody's clogged artery when all that person has to do, really is - oh, I don't know - go for a walk in the morning or choke down a fresh green salad. And you come back here looking like that? And, I know here, I know I'm supposed to be Dr. Give-A-Crap, but you wanna hear the God's honest truth? And this is a fact: you are what you eat. And you clearly went out and devoured a big fat guy, didn't ya?
Carla: You can deny you like her all you want. But, I know for a fact, that every time you guys are done "playing racquetball" or "having a conversation" or whatever it is you crazy kids are calling it, you like nothing more than to just lie next to Jordan and watch her sleep.
Dr. Cox: It would be impossible for me to lie next to Jordan, she sleeps hanging from a ramp in the ceiling, wrapped in a cocoon of her own wings.
Almost Famous
I always tell the girls to never take it seriously, if you never take it seriously, you never get hurt and if you never get hurt, you always have fun.
Boy Meets World
We're all a little weird, and when we find those people whose weirdness is compatible with ours. We join up with them and fall into mutually satisfying weirdness and call them our best friends.
The Little Rascals
He makes me melt like a Popsicle on the 4th of July.
Dear Darla,
I hate your stinking guts.
You make me vomit.
You are the scum between my toes.
Love, Alfalfa
Dear Darla,
I hate your stinking guts.
You make me vomit.
You are the scum between my toes.
Love, Alfalfa
Van Wilder
You shouldn't take life too seriously. You'll never get out alive.
Van Wilder: I know Ms Pacman is special. She's cute...she's fun...she swallows.
Gwen: Well, I think it takes a lot more than the kind of underwear one wears to define them as a person.
Van Wilder: Like what?!
Van Wilder: I know Ms Pacman is special. She's cute...she's fun...she swallows.
Gwen: Well, I think it takes a lot more than the kind of underwear one wears to define them as a person.
Van Wilder: Like what?!
Hidden Palms
I want you to be with someone who sees in you what I do.
Some things you can't explain. Sometimes there's no one to blame. Some things are just inexplicable, life-changing, and awful.
Some things you can't explain. Sometimes there's no one to blame. Some things are just inexplicable, life-changing, and awful.
A League of Their Own
Legs always together. A lady never reveals anything.
There's no crying in baseball.
There's no crying in baseball.
Fast Times at Ridgemont High
If you don't shut up I'm going to kick 100% of your ass!
Hey Bud. What's your problem?
Hey Bud. What's your problem?
Cry Baby
Dig it babe you need a new look.
Don't you got any tits? Stick 'em out.
Our bazooms are our weapons.
I'm burning inside to touch you baby.
Don't you got any tits? Stick 'em out.
Our bazooms are our weapons.
I'm burning inside to touch you baby.
Pearl Harbor
Pres. Roosevelt: We’re building refrigerators while our enemies build bombs.
Adm. Isoroku Yamamoto: War is inevitable. To hide this fact is death. The Americans cut off the oil that is our lifeline. We have only enough for eighteen months, we have no choice but war. There is only one way. A massive, sudden strike. We will annihilate their Pacific Fleet in a single attack at Pearl Harbor.
Earl: Hey, you know you're not supposed to be painting titties on the side of my airplanes, and if you do, don't make 'em lop-sided.
Gooz: They we're lop-sided, Earl.
Gooz: Pride of the Pacific.
Danny: Terrors of the skies.
Rafe: Dear Evelyn, it’s different than I thought it would be here. It’s cold, so cold it goes deep into your bones. There is one place I can go to find warmth. That is to think of you. I just wish I could be back there with you. It’s not easy making friends. Two days ago I had a beer with a couple of RAF pilots. Yesterday, both of them got killed.
Evelyn: Dear Rafe, I miss you so much. It’s so strange to be half a world away from you. Every night I look at the sunset and try to draw the last ounce of heat from its long day and send it from my heart to yours.
British pilot: A lot of people frown on the Yanks for not being in this war yet. I’d just like to say, if there are many more back home like you, God help anyone who goes to war with America.
Admiral Kimmel: A smart enemy hits you exactly where you think you’re safe.
Analyst: Distance is our ally.
Betty: I’m no good at church. Whenever I’m up there getting my slate wiped clean, I’m thinking how to dirty it up again.
Martha: This coming from a virgin.
Danny: He taught me how to fly. I always knew that no matter what trouble I got into I’d never be in it alone. He’d be there with me. Up there, he was always pushing me to be better and faster. He was always trying to protect me. But you know what? I look at myself in the mirror in this uniform and I still don’t know who I am. I look like a hero but I don’t feel like it. Rafe, he always looked the part, didn’t he?
Danny: To Rafe McCawley. The best pilot and the best friend I ever knew and ever will know.
Adm. Isoroku Yamamoto: A brilliant man would find a way not to fight this war.
News reporter: Victory does not come without sacrifice.
Danny: I remember this one time when I was like seven years old. I was always building these gadgets and things. He told me he wanted me to build him some wings so he could fly like his daddy does in crop. And I told him you can’t fly without some kind of engine, right. But he wouldn’t listen. He told me, “Danny, never mind all that just build ‘em anyway.” So I did. And I’m up there strapping these big ol’ wings on his back that we made from paper and glue and these massive silk bloomers that we stole. And he looked so stupid. And I told him, “You can’t jump off the barn in these.” And bam! He busted his leg on a back hoe. Yeah, but don’t you think that Rafe was up there the next day, cast and everything, telling me to make some adjustment on those wings.
Betty: When my dad left, my mom said I was too much to handle so she sent me to live with my aunt. I thought my life was over but you don’t know where it’s all gonna lead. If I hadn’t run away and lied about my age and enlisted in the Navy I would have never met Red. And now he’s my fiancée.
Betty: Rafe sent his best friend to tell you, so you would be okay, so you can move on. You gotta go on living, Ev.
Tony: Tell me if you were dead and you saw best buddy doin’ your girl you wouldn’t come back and beat the living crap out of him? I’d be back so fast.
Gooz: Ladies...cloud the mind.
Evelyn: People in this outfit have way too much time on their hands.
Captain Thurman: We guess. It’s like playing chess in the dark. Any rumor, troop movement, ship movement, spine tinge, goose bump, we pay attention to it.
Admiral Kimmel: I’ve seen these new radar screens, Major. There’s no way of telling whether they’re ours, theirs, or a flock of damn birds.
Rafe: Well, them Luftwaffe boys can fly pretty good. It’s not like, you know, training. You know they’re all about tactics is what it is. See, the Nazis, right, they’re faster than you are, so they’ll disappear and they get up in the soup and they’ll throw like a roll or a hammerhead and they’ll come around on your high side, shoot you from behind like some Americans will.
Rafe: I’ll make a toast. To returning from the dead. Wasn’t all I expected, but, well, that’s life. To my best friend and loyal buddy Danny for keepin’ up the war effort back here at home. You know, where I come from, somebody makes a toat to you and you don’t drink, that’s sayin’ something.
Danny: You know, you’re a rotten drunk, you always have been.
Rafe: Well, you’re a lousy friend. That’s a new development.
Danny: You left her to fight somebody else’s war, and you made damn sure that I didn’t go with you and we thought you were dead.
Rafe: I almost did die you son of a bitch and her face was the last thing that went through my mind, so don’t stand here and tell me and act like it’s alright.
Danny: Yeah, Rafe, well, I stayed. I stayed, you made sure of that. Some things change and I hope you can get used to that.
Chinese pilot: Revered father, I go now to fulfill my mission and my destiny. I hope it is a destiny that will bring honor to our family and if it requires my life, I will sacrifice it gladly to be a good servant of our nation.
Priest: Remember son, hold onto your fait. Remember what Jesus said, “Today you will be with me in paradise, so fear not.” Fear not, my son. You are a man truly blessed. You will die in a state of grace. Remember, pain is temporary, but glory is forever. Hold onto your faith, my son. You’ll be with God, the saints, and the angels very soon. I absolve you of your sins, in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. In nomine patris et fili, fet spritius sancti. Amen. Go with God, my son.
President Roosevelt: Yesterday, December 7, 1941, a date which will live in infamy, the United States of America was suddenly and deliberately attacked by naval and air forces of the empire of Japan. It is obvious that planning the attack began many weeks ago. During the intervening time, the Japanese government has deliberately sought to deceive the United States by false statements and expressions of hope for continued peace. The attack yesterday on the Hawaiian Islands has caused severe damage to American military forces. I regret to tell you that over 3,000 American lives have been lost. No matter how long it may take us to overcome this premeditated invasion, the American people, in their righteous might will win through to absolute victory. Because of this unprovoked, dastardly attack by Japan, I ask that the Congress declare a state of war.
Evelyn: If I had one more night to live, I'd wanna spend it with you.
Rafe: Could you not come see me off because saying goodbye to you once is hard enough.
Evelyn: Are you gonna be a bad influence?
Rafe: Of course I'm a bad influence.
Evelyn: You're acting like I didn't love you.
Rafe: Evelyn, loving you kept me alive.
Lt. Col. Jimmy Doolittle: Victory belongs to those who believe in it the most and believe in it the longest. We're gonna believe. We're gonna make America believe too.
President Franklin D. Roosevelt: I like sub commanders. They have no time for bullshit, and neither do I.
Rafe: Not anxious to die sir, just anxious to matter.
Lt. Col. Jimmy Doolittle: There's nothing stronger than the heart of a volunteer.
Admiral Yamamoto: I fear all we have done is to awaken a sleeping giant.
Rafe: Miss, I really really lick you. Like you. And I would really like to donate dinner. Buy you dinner. Can I just ask you out?
Rafe: You are so beautiful it hurts.
Evelyn: It's your nose that hurts.
Rafe: I think it's my heart.
Rafe: Not anxious to die sir, just anxious to matter.
President Franklin D. Roosevelt: How long is America going to pretend, that the world is not at war? From Berlin, Rome and Tokyo, were have been described as a nation of weaklings and playboys who hire British or Russian, or Chinese soldiers, to do our fighting for us. We've been trained to think we're invincible, and our people think Hitler and his Nazi thugs are Europe's problem. We have to do more. Does anyone think that victory is possible without facing danger? At times like these we all need to be reminded who we truly are. That we will not give up or give in.
Gooz: How are you going to know they're submerged if they're submerged?
Evelyn: You died, and so did I.
Danny: The only thing that scares me is that you might love him more than you love me.
Evelyn: I love you Danny, and I'll be here waiting for you to come back.
Danny: Well guess what? It's not training over there. It's war. Where the losers die, and there aren't any winners, just guys that turn into broken down wrecks like my father.
Danny: Don't preach to me about duty, damn it. I wear the same uniform as you. If trouble wants me I'm ready for it. But why go looking for it?
Barbara: If the call of duty involves seeing 150 men in their underwear every day, we are here to serve.
Rafe: I can hit a running rabbit with a $3.00 pistol.
Rafe: I know why I'm here. To be a pilot. You don't dogfight with manuals, you don't fly with gauges. I mean, it's all about feeling and speed, and lettin' that plane become like a part of your body. And that manual says that a guy who's a slow ready can't be a good pilot. That file says I'm the best pilot in this room. Ma'am, please, don't take my wings.
Rafe: Miss, I really, really lick you. Like you. I didn't mean to say that. I just want to ask you if I can donate you dinner. Um, buy you dinner.
Adm. Isoroku Yamamoto: War is inevitable. To hide this fact is death. The Americans cut off the oil that is our lifeline. We have only enough for eighteen months, we have no choice but war. There is only one way. A massive, sudden strike. We will annihilate their Pacific Fleet in a single attack at Pearl Harbor.
Earl: Hey, you know you're not supposed to be painting titties on the side of my airplanes, and if you do, don't make 'em lop-sided.
Gooz: They we're lop-sided, Earl.
Gooz: Pride of the Pacific.
Danny: Terrors of the skies.
Rafe: Dear Evelyn, it’s different than I thought it would be here. It’s cold, so cold it goes deep into your bones. There is one place I can go to find warmth. That is to think of you. I just wish I could be back there with you. It’s not easy making friends. Two days ago I had a beer with a couple of RAF pilots. Yesterday, both of them got killed.
Evelyn: Dear Rafe, I miss you so much. It’s so strange to be half a world away from you. Every night I look at the sunset and try to draw the last ounce of heat from its long day and send it from my heart to yours.
British pilot: A lot of people frown on the Yanks for not being in this war yet. I’d just like to say, if there are many more back home like you, God help anyone who goes to war with America.
Admiral Kimmel: A smart enemy hits you exactly where you think you’re safe.
Analyst: Distance is our ally.
Betty: I’m no good at church. Whenever I’m up there getting my slate wiped clean, I’m thinking how to dirty it up again.
Martha: This coming from a virgin.
Danny: He taught me how to fly. I always knew that no matter what trouble I got into I’d never be in it alone. He’d be there with me. Up there, he was always pushing me to be better and faster. He was always trying to protect me. But you know what? I look at myself in the mirror in this uniform and I still don’t know who I am. I look like a hero but I don’t feel like it. Rafe, he always looked the part, didn’t he?
Danny: To Rafe McCawley. The best pilot and the best friend I ever knew and ever will know.
Adm. Isoroku Yamamoto: A brilliant man would find a way not to fight this war.
News reporter: Victory does not come without sacrifice.
Danny: I remember this one time when I was like seven years old. I was always building these gadgets and things. He told me he wanted me to build him some wings so he could fly like his daddy does in crop. And I told him you can’t fly without some kind of engine, right. But he wouldn’t listen. He told me, “Danny, never mind all that just build ‘em anyway.” So I did. And I’m up there strapping these big ol’ wings on his back that we made from paper and glue and these massive silk bloomers that we stole. And he looked so stupid. And I told him, “You can’t jump off the barn in these.” And bam! He busted his leg on a back hoe. Yeah, but don’t you think that Rafe was up there the next day, cast and everything, telling me to make some adjustment on those wings.
Betty: When my dad left, my mom said I was too much to handle so she sent me to live with my aunt. I thought my life was over but you don’t know where it’s all gonna lead. If I hadn’t run away and lied about my age and enlisted in the Navy I would have never met Red. And now he’s my fiancée.
Betty: Rafe sent his best friend to tell you, so you would be okay, so you can move on. You gotta go on living, Ev.
Tony: Tell me if you were dead and you saw best buddy doin’ your girl you wouldn’t come back and beat the living crap out of him? I’d be back so fast.
Gooz: Ladies...cloud the mind.
Evelyn: People in this outfit have way too much time on their hands.
Captain Thurman: We guess. It’s like playing chess in the dark. Any rumor, troop movement, ship movement, spine tinge, goose bump, we pay attention to it.
Admiral Kimmel: I’ve seen these new radar screens, Major. There’s no way of telling whether they’re ours, theirs, or a flock of damn birds.
Rafe: Well, them Luftwaffe boys can fly pretty good. It’s not like, you know, training. You know they’re all about tactics is what it is. See, the Nazis, right, they’re faster than you are, so they’ll disappear and they get up in the soup and they’ll throw like a roll or a hammerhead and they’ll come around on your high side, shoot you from behind like some Americans will.
Rafe: I’ll make a toast. To returning from the dead. Wasn’t all I expected, but, well, that’s life. To my best friend and loyal buddy Danny for keepin’ up the war effort back here at home. You know, where I come from, somebody makes a toat to you and you don’t drink, that’s sayin’ something.
Danny: You know, you’re a rotten drunk, you always have been.
Rafe: Well, you’re a lousy friend. That’s a new development.
Danny: You left her to fight somebody else’s war, and you made damn sure that I didn’t go with you and we thought you were dead.
Rafe: I almost did die you son of a bitch and her face was the last thing that went through my mind, so don’t stand here and tell me and act like it’s alright.
Danny: Yeah, Rafe, well, I stayed. I stayed, you made sure of that. Some things change and I hope you can get used to that.
Chinese pilot: Revered father, I go now to fulfill my mission and my destiny. I hope it is a destiny that will bring honor to our family and if it requires my life, I will sacrifice it gladly to be a good servant of our nation.
Priest: Remember son, hold onto your fait. Remember what Jesus said, “Today you will be with me in paradise, so fear not.” Fear not, my son. You are a man truly blessed. You will die in a state of grace. Remember, pain is temporary, but glory is forever. Hold onto your faith, my son. You’ll be with God, the saints, and the angels very soon. I absolve you of your sins, in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. In nomine patris et fili, fet spritius sancti. Amen. Go with God, my son.
President Roosevelt: Yesterday, December 7, 1941, a date which will live in infamy, the United States of America was suddenly and deliberately attacked by naval and air forces of the empire of Japan. It is obvious that planning the attack began many weeks ago. During the intervening time, the Japanese government has deliberately sought to deceive the United States by false statements and expressions of hope for continued peace. The attack yesterday on the Hawaiian Islands has caused severe damage to American military forces. I regret to tell you that over 3,000 American lives have been lost. No matter how long it may take us to overcome this premeditated invasion, the American people, in their righteous might will win through to absolute victory. Because of this unprovoked, dastardly attack by Japan, I ask that the Congress declare a state of war.
Evelyn: If I had one more night to live, I'd wanna spend it with you.
Rafe: Could you not come see me off because saying goodbye to you once is hard enough.
Evelyn: Are you gonna be a bad influence?
Rafe: Of course I'm a bad influence.
Evelyn: You're acting like I didn't love you.
Rafe: Evelyn, loving you kept me alive.
Lt. Col. Jimmy Doolittle: Victory belongs to those who believe in it the most and believe in it the longest. We're gonna believe. We're gonna make America believe too.
President Franklin D. Roosevelt: I like sub commanders. They have no time for bullshit, and neither do I.
Rafe: Not anxious to die sir, just anxious to matter.
Lt. Col. Jimmy Doolittle: There's nothing stronger than the heart of a volunteer.
Admiral Yamamoto: I fear all we have done is to awaken a sleeping giant.
Rafe: Miss, I really really lick you. Like you. And I would really like to donate dinner. Buy you dinner. Can I just ask you out?
Rafe: You are so beautiful it hurts.
Evelyn: It's your nose that hurts.
Rafe: I think it's my heart.
Rafe: Not anxious to die sir, just anxious to matter.
President Franklin D. Roosevelt: How long is America going to pretend, that the world is not at war? From Berlin, Rome and Tokyo, were have been described as a nation of weaklings and playboys who hire British or Russian, or Chinese soldiers, to do our fighting for us. We've been trained to think we're invincible, and our people think Hitler and his Nazi thugs are Europe's problem. We have to do more. Does anyone think that victory is possible without facing danger? At times like these we all need to be reminded who we truly are. That we will not give up or give in.
Gooz: How are you going to know they're submerged if they're submerged?
Evelyn: You died, and so did I.
Danny: The only thing that scares me is that you might love him more than you love me.
Evelyn: I love you Danny, and I'll be here waiting for you to come back.
Danny: Well guess what? It's not training over there. It's war. Where the losers die, and there aren't any winners, just guys that turn into broken down wrecks like my father.
Danny: Don't preach to me about duty, damn it. I wear the same uniform as you. If trouble wants me I'm ready for it. But why go looking for it?
Barbara: If the call of duty involves seeing 150 men in their underwear every day, we are here to serve.
Rafe: I can hit a running rabbit with a $3.00 pistol.
Rafe: I know why I'm here. To be a pilot. You don't dogfight with manuals, you don't fly with gauges. I mean, it's all about feeling and speed, and lettin' that plane become like a part of your body. And that manual says that a guy who's a slow ready can't be a good pilot. That file says I'm the best pilot in this room. Ma'am, please, don't take my wings.
Rafe: Miss, I really, really lick you. Like you. I didn't mean to say that. I just want to ask you if I can donate you dinner. Um, buy you dinner.
The Crow
Suddenly I heard a tapping, a rapping as if someone were at my door.
Albrecht: At least he didn't do that walk against the wind shit, I hate that.
Eric Draven: It can't rain all the time.
Sarah: If the people we love are stolen from us, the way to have them live on is to never stop loving them. Buildings burn, people die, but real love is forever.
Albrecht: You the one who killed Tin-Tin?
Eric Draven: He was already dead. He died one year ago, the moment he touched her. They're all dead. They just don't know it yet.
Funboy: Jesus Christ!
Eric Draven: Jesus Christ? Stop me if you heard this one. Jesus Christ walks into a hotel. [Fun Boy shoots him.] He hands the innkeeper three nails, and he asks... [Fun Boy shoots him again.]
Funboy: Don't you ever fucking die?
Eric Draven: Can you put me up for the night?
Sarah: People once believed that when someone dies, a crow carries their soul to the Land of the Dead. But sometimes, something so bad happens that a terrible sadness is carried with it and the soul can not rest. Then sometimes, just sometimes, the crow can bring that soul back to put the wrong things right.
Albrecht: At least he didn't do that walk against the wind shit, I hate that.
Eric Draven: It can't rain all the time.
Sarah: If the people we love are stolen from us, the way to have them live on is to never stop loving them. Buildings burn, people die, but real love is forever.
Albrecht: You the one who killed Tin-Tin?
Eric Draven: He was already dead. He died one year ago, the moment he touched her. They're all dead. They just don't know it yet.
Funboy: Jesus Christ!
Eric Draven: Jesus Christ? Stop me if you heard this one. Jesus Christ walks into a hotel. [Fun Boy shoots him.] He hands the innkeeper three nails, and he asks... [Fun Boy shoots him again.]
Funboy: Don't you ever fucking die?
Eric Draven: Can you put me up for the night?
Sarah: People once believed that when someone dies, a crow carries their soul to the Land of the Dead. But sometimes, something so bad happens that a terrible sadness is carried with it and the soul can not rest. Then sometimes, just sometimes, the crow can bring that soul back to put the wrong things right.
Moulin Rouge
Without trust there is no love.
The greatest thing in the world is just to love and be loved in return.
The greatest thing in the world is just to love and be loved in return.
Newsies
Never fear. Brooklyn is here! - Spot Collins
I say, that what you say, is what I say. - Spot Collins
I say, that what you say, is what I say. - Spot Collins
Freaky Friday
Tess: Privacy is a privilege.
Chinese Fortune Cookie Horoscope:
A journey soon begins, its prize reflected in another's eyes. When what you see is what you lack, then selfless love will change you back.
Anna (as Tess): I don't believe in any contact with the opposite sex. At all.
Anna (as Tess): I Look like Stevie Nicks!
Tess (as Anna): Who's he?
Tess (as Anna): We're doing a role-switching activity.
Grandpa: If I have to do this with Harry, does that mean I need to wear a thong? Harry: Ooooh! Earthquake! Help me!
Anna (as Tess): You pierced your navel?!
Tess (as Anna): Oh, yeah, forgot to tell you about that...sorry
Tess (as Anna): When did you do this?
Anna (as Tess): At Maddie's cousin's sweet 16.
Anna (as Tess): Well when you get your body back, it's grounded!
Anna (as Tess): It's easy to be you I'll just suck the fun out of everything!
Tess (as Anna): I do not suck the fun out of everything!
Anna (as Tess): Fun-Sucker!
Anna (as Tess): I'm old!
Tess (as Anna): I beg your pardon!
Anna (as Tess): Oh, I'm like the Cryptkeeper!
Anna (as Tess): Like cooking: I mean, have you never heard of takeout? And cleaning: let's don't and say we did. Quality time with your kids: You know what? Quit bugging 'em. Leave 'em alone. They like it!
Tess (as Anna): She is dead, worse than dead. She will spend the next year in a phoneless, dateless, Amish existence!
Peg: Aren't you like the maid of horror or something?
Anna: You couldn't last one day in my high school.
Tess: Actually I could, and I would do it without getting a detention.
Anna: You're ruining my life!
Pei-Pei: Sexy new look for you, Mrs. Coleman! You look hot!
Peg: Mr. Dude, you rock!
Chinese Fortune Cookie Horoscope:
A journey soon begins, its prize reflected in another's eyes. When what you see is what you lack, then selfless love will change you back.
Anna (as Tess): I don't believe in any contact with the opposite sex. At all.
Anna (as Tess): I Look like Stevie Nicks!
Tess (as Anna): Who's he?
Tess (as Anna): We're doing a role-switching activity.
Grandpa: If I have to do this with Harry, does that mean I need to wear a thong? Harry: Ooooh! Earthquake! Help me!
Anna (as Tess): You pierced your navel?!
Tess (as Anna): Oh, yeah, forgot to tell you about that...sorry
Tess (as Anna): When did you do this?
Anna (as Tess): At Maddie's cousin's sweet 16.
Anna (as Tess): Well when you get your body back, it's grounded!
Anna (as Tess): It's easy to be you I'll just suck the fun out of everything!
Tess (as Anna): I do not suck the fun out of everything!
Anna (as Tess): Fun-Sucker!
Anna (as Tess): I'm old!
Tess (as Anna): I beg your pardon!
Anna (as Tess): Oh, I'm like the Cryptkeeper!
Anna (as Tess): Like cooking: I mean, have you never heard of takeout? And cleaning: let's don't and say we did. Quality time with your kids: You know what? Quit bugging 'em. Leave 'em alone. They like it!
Tess (as Anna): She is dead, worse than dead. She will spend the next year in a phoneless, dateless, Amish existence!
Peg: Aren't you like the maid of horror or something?
Anna: You couldn't last one day in my high school.
Tess: Actually I could, and I would do it without getting a detention.
Anna: You're ruining my life!
Pei-Pei: Sexy new look for you, Mrs. Coleman! You look hot!
Peg: Mr. Dude, you rock!
Law & Order
Women are always better off with their own mechanical devices.
Drama is a major food group for teenage girls.
Drama is a major food group for teenage girls.
October Road
It is the fool who fails to return to the place of his last happiness!
Never settle for anything less than the unexpected adventure.
You make a terrible mistake. You only get one shot to get it back.
Bennett Goldman(Editor): Dufresne College called. They wanna know if you'd be interested in teaching a one-day intensive on the art of the novel.
Nick Garrett: Not so much. Dufresne College - -that's in my hometown. I haven't been back there in 10 years. There's some people there that might not be so happy to see me.
Bennett Goldman(Editor): Maybe that's why you're blocked. Go back there. Make peace with it all. You've got to get past your fears, kiddo. G. Gordon Liddy was afraid of rats, so he cooked one up and ate it. Fear gone.
Nick Garrett: If you're suggesting that I cook and eat my old friends, I can assure you, in their opinion, I already have.
Hannah Daniels: Right. I think it was two weeks before my 18th birthday that you left. Yes, I'm quite sure because I remember getting those roses, thinking they were for my birthday, but they weren't. They were a goodbye present as in, goodbye I'm no longer in your present.
Nick Garrett: Look, I really am sorry, Eddie. I never thought anyone would get torn up in the process, especially you. I left here that summer with every intention of coming back to the Ridge. Then on the last night of the trip... I'm literally packing my bags and... I remembered something mom told me before she died. She said "You gotta promise me, Nicky... never to settle for anything less than unexpected adventure." And I couldn't kick the feeling that if I came back here, I'd be have giving up on that. It's like once I stayed away... staying away became a way. Any of this make sense?
Eddie Latekka: Hey Ikey! What do you even know about Janet? She may be the coolest person in this bar, but you'll never find out 'cuz you're too busy judging her on the outside, instead of finding out what's on the inside.
Ikey: All right, maybe I should find out what's on the inside. My guess is cake. Lots of cake.
Dean Leslie Etwood: Is this a joke? Because if this is a joke I'm still stuck in the setup. Which as you may recall involved you panicking and sputtering your way out of a one day seminar, with a case of the dry-heaves, leaving an entire lecture hall in the lurch. And now you want me to give you your own class?
Nick Garrett: Just, a little class. A nice, little graduate writing class.
Dean Leslie Etwood: What makes you think you can actually teach? And please don't tell me it's because you wrote a popular novel.
Nick Garrett: No, no. But... the journey, getting there, the journey which those students wish to embark upon, I can share my experience.
Dean Leslie Etwood: Then let's talk about that journey.
Nick Garrett: Let's talk about it.
Dean Leslie Etwood: The um, epic struggle of a coward who left his home, wrote a book about the friends and family that he abandoned, for reasons unknown, and now is afraid to face his own life.
Nick Garrett: Wow. I think you're leaving out the part where I burned down the orphanage and drunk-dialed the pope.
Dean Leslie Etwood: A teacher by nature is a leader. And a leader is someone who embraces their life. Not one who runs away from it. In other words, Mr. Garrett, my students have nothing to learn from you.
Nick Garrett: Just that she's like Stalin, only without the dreamy compassion.
Aubrey: And thus, the arsonist returns to the scene of his last great blaze.
Nick Garrett: Going down in flames does seem to be the motif.
Aubrey: What's the difference between self-pity and self-loathing?
Nick Garrett: Well I'd answer you but I'm too busy feeling sorry for my vile existence.
Eddie Latekka: Nah, it's nothing like that. I just wanna apologize for roughing up your friend. A few too many tequilas, misguided anger.
Dean Leslie Etwood: I am thinking of the students. That's why I'm not hiring Mr. Garrett. Because he's the very worst thing a teacher could be. A dilettante. Someone who does a job to suit his momentary needs. He reminds me of another man who came down to teach at a school in a parish of New Orleans. Only this man, he told the students that they could learn to sing. And so he sang to them, and the song was, uh, "Where Is Love" from the show "Oliver". But then this man, he left soon after, went back to his real life, leaving the students devastated. I remember that, because I was one of those children. And I remember the crushing sense of loss when that man left. So do not talk to me about the students Mrs. Weiner. Because everything I do, every fiber of my being is for these students.
Janet The Planet Meadows: I've always said Eddie, as shady as it may be, you got to admire a guy who conjures up a talking raccoon to impress the ladies.
Eddie Latekka: Yeah, I think maybe what I've got to work on is the type of ladies I'm trying to impress.
Eddie Latekka: Maybe sometime you want to come out, meet Ernesto, the singing koala bear who lives in my attic?
The Commander: Just because you are an idiot, it doesn't mean you have to act like one.
Ronny: Not true! I think we can do much better. Forget about Hannah and aging documents. Nothing beats a live testimonial. It's like I always said - "If you can't deliver the bacon, bring them the pig!"
Nick Garrett: Look, I'm trying to confront this stuff that I ran from years ago. And I'm willing to face anything, anything that comes my way. I will not leave you, Dean Etwood. Or your students either. This time I'm not leaving anything until it's ready to be left.
Dean Leslie Etwood: What makes you think you can actually teach? And please, don't tell me it's because you wrote a popular novel.
Nick Garrett: No! No. But... the journey. Getting there. The journey that those students wish to embark upon. I can share my experience.
Dean Leslie Etwood: Then let's talk about that journey.
Nick Garrett: Let's talk about it.
Dean Leslie Etwood: The, ahm, epic struggle of a coward who left his home, wrote a book about the friends and family that he abandoned for reasons unknown and now is afraid to face his own life. A teacher by nature is a leader and a leader is someone who embraces their life. Not one who runs away from it. In all the world Mr. Garrett, my students have nothing to learn from you.
Never settle for anything less than the unexpected adventure.
You make a terrible mistake. You only get one shot to get it back.
Bennett Goldman(Editor): Dufresne College called. They wanna know if you'd be interested in teaching a one-day intensive on the art of the novel.
Nick Garrett: Not so much. Dufresne College - -that's in my hometown. I haven't been back there in 10 years. There's some people there that might not be so happy to see me.
Bennett Goldman(Editor): Maybe that's why you're blocked. Go back there. Make peace with it all. You've got to get past your fears, kiddo. G. Gordon Liddy was afraid of rats, so he cooked one up and ate it. Fear gone.
Nick Garrett: If you're suggesting that I cook and eat my old friends, I can assure you, in their opinion, I already have.
Hannah Daniels: Right. I think it was two weeks before my 18th birthday that you left. Yes, I'm quite sure because I remember getting those roses, thinking they were for my birthday, but they weren't. They were a goodbye present as in, goodbye I'm no longer in your present.
Nick Garrett: Look, I really am sorry, Eddie. I never thought anyone would get torn up in the process, especially you. I left here that summer with every intention of coming back to the Ridge. Then on the last night of the trip... I'm literally packing my bags and... I remembered something mom told me before she died. She said "You gotta promise me, Nicky... never to settle for anything less than unexpected adventure." And I couldn't kick the feeling that if I came back here, I'd be have giving up on that. It's like once I stayed away... staying away became a way. Any of this make sense?
Eddie Latekka: Hey Ikey! What do you even know about Janet? She may be the coolest person in this bar, but you'll never find out 'cuz you're too busy judging her on the outside, instead of finding out what's on the inside.
Ikey: All right, maybe I should find out what's on the inside. My guess is cake. Lots of cake.
Dean Leslie Etwood: Is this a joke? Because if this is a joke I'm still stuck in the setup. Which as you may recall involved you panicking and sputtering your way out of a one day seminar, with a case of the dry-heaves, leaving an entire lecture hall in the lurch. And now you want me to give you your own class?
Nick Garrett: Just, a little class. A nice, little graduate writing class.
Dean Leslie Etwood: What makes you think you can actually teach? And please don't tell me it's because you wrote a popular novel.
Nick Garrett: No, no. But... the journey, getting there, the journey which those students wish to embark upon, I can share my experience.
Dean Leslie Etwood: Then let's talk about that journey.
Nick Garrett: Let's talk about it.
Dean Leslie Etwood: The um, epic struggle of a coward who left his home, wrote a book about the friends and family that he abandoned, for reasons unknown, and now is afraid to face his own life.
Nick Garrett: Wow. I think you're leaving out the part where I burned down the orphanage and drunk-dialed the pope.
Dean Leslie Etwood: A teacher by nature is a leader. And a leader is someone who embraces their life. Not one who runs away from it. In other words, Mr. Garrett, my students have nothing to learn from you.
Nick Garrett: Just that she's like Stalin, only without the dreamy compassion.
Aubrey: And thus, the arsonist returns to the scene of his last great blaze.
Nick Garrett: Going down in flames does seem to be the motif.
Aubrey: What's the difference between self-pity and self-loathing?
Nick Garrett: Well I'd answer you but I'm too busy feeling sorry for my vile existence.
Eddie Latekka: Nah, it's nothing like that. I just wanna apologize for roughing up your friend. A few too many tequilas, misguided anger.
Dean Leslie Etwood: I am thinking of the students. That's why I'm not hiring Mr. Garrett. Because he's the very worst thing a teacher could be. A dilettante. Someone who does a job to suit his momentary needs. He reminds me of another man who came down to teach at a school in a parish of New Orleans. Only this man, he told the students that they could learn to sing. And so he sang to them, and the song was, uh, "Where Is Love" from the show "Oliver". But then this man, he left soon after, went back to his real life, leaving the students devastated. I remember that, because I was one of those children. And I remember the crushing sense of loss when that man left. So do not talk to me about the students Mrs. Weiner. Because everything I do, every fiber of my being is for these students.
Janet The Planet Meadows: I've always said Eddie, as shady as it may be, you got to admire a guy who conjures up a talking raccoon to impress the ladies.
Eddie Latekka: Yeah, I think maybe what I've got to work on is the type of ladies I'm trying to impress.
Eddie Latekka: Maybe sometime you want to come out, meet Ernesto, the singing koala bear who lives in my attic?
The Commander: Just because you are an idiot, it doesn't mean you have to act like one.
Ronny: Not true! I think we can do much better. Forget about Hannah and aging documents. Nothing beats a live testimonial. It's like I always said - "If you can't deliver the bacon, bring them the pig!"
Nick Garrett: Look, I'm trying to confront this stuff that I ran from years ago. And I'm willing to face anything, anything that comes my way. I will not leave you, Dean Etwood. Or your students either. This time I'm not leaving anything until it's ready to be left.
Dean Leslie Etwood: What makes you think you can actually teach? And please, don't tell me it's because you wrote a popular novel.
Nick Garrett: No! No. But... the journey. Getting there. The journey that those students wish to embark upon. I can share my experience.
Dean Leslie Etwood: Then let's talk about that journey.
Nick Garrett: Let's talk about it.
Dean Leslie Etwood: The, ahm, epic struggle of a coward who left his home, wrote a book about the friends and family that he abandoned for reasons unknown and now is afraid to face his own life. A teacher by nature is a leader and a leader is someone who embraces their life. Not one who runs away from it. In all the world Mr. Garrett, my students have nothing to learn from you.
Talladega Nights
If you ain't first, you're last.
Shake and bake!
Ricky Bobby: Well, Let me give you a saying from Colonel Sanders. I am too drunk to taste this chicken.
Ricky Bobby: Well, I'm the best there is. Plain and simple, when I wake up in the morning I piss excellence.
Ricky Bobby: I've sent in my application to the Real World. So I'm hoping to hear back from that. I'm putting A LOT of my eggs into that basket, the MTV basket. I'm also thinking about getting a gun, and dealing crack. Being a crack dealer. Not like a mean crack dealer, but like... like a nice one. Kinda friendly like, "hey, what's up guys? Want some crack?" I'm just waiting on those two things to flesh themselves out.
Jean Girard: Hakuna matata, bitches!
Susan: It's because it's what you love, Ricky. It is who you were born to be. And here you sit. Thinking. Well, Ricky Bobby is not a thinker. Ricky Bobby is a driver. He is a doer, and that's what you need to do. You don't need to think. You need to drive. You need speed. You need to go out there, and you need to rev your engine. You need to fire it up. You need to grab ahold of that line between speed and chaos, and you need to wrestle it to the ground like a demon cobra. And then, when the fear rises up in your belly, you use it. And you know that fear is powerful, because it has been there for billions of years. And it is good. And you use it. And you ride it; you ride it like a skeleton horse through the gates of hell, and then you win, Ricky. You WIN! And you don't win for anybody else. You win for you, you know why? Because a man takes what he wants. He takes it all. And you're a man, aren't you? Aren't you?
Ricky Bobby: Susan, I've never heard you talk like that... Are we about to get it on? Because I'm as hard as a diamond in an ice storm right now.
Ricky Bobby: Hi, I'm Ricky Bobby. If you don't chew Big Red, then f*** you.
Ricky Bobby: I'm going fast again!
Cal Naughton, Jr.: How fast is he going?
Lucius Washington: 26 miles per hour.
Cal Naughton, Jr.: I like to think of Jesus as a mischievous badger.
Jean Girard: Why do you want me to break your arm so badly?
Ricky Bobby: You don't understand. You don't understand because you don't understand liberty. You don't understand freedom. So you put a crack in my arm like the crack in the Liberty Bell! You hear me?
Texas Ranger: Old man, I'm gonna come at you like a spider monkey!
Texas Ranger: I'm all jacked up on mountain dew!
Texas Ranger: One of you turds is gonna get smacked in the mouth!
Ricky Bobby: [while signing autographs] I'd love to sign your baby!
Texas Ranger: Why, if it isn't our mangy, transient grandfather.
Reese Bobby: Hey shut up you little pot-licker I'll stick you in a microwave!
Ricky Bobby: This sticker is dangerous and inconvenient, but I do love Fig Newtons.
Ricky Bobby: Did that blow your mind, because that just happened!
Shake and bake!
Ricky Bobby: Well, Let me give you a saying from Colonel Sanders. I am too drunk to taste this chicken.
Ricky Bobby: Well, I'm the best there is. Plain and simple, when I wake up in the morning I piss excellence.
Ricky Bobby: I've sent in my application to the Real World. So I'm hoping to hear back from that. I'm putting A LOT of my eggs into that basket, the MTV basket. I'm also thinking about getting a gun, and dealing crack. Being a crack dealer. Not like a mean crack dealer, but like... like a nice one. Kinda friendly like, "hey, what's up guys? Want some crack?" I'm just waiting on those two things to flesh themselves out.
Jean Girard: Hakuna matata, bitches!
Susan: It's because it's what you love, Ricky. It is who you were born to be. And here you sit. Thinking. Well, Ricky Bobby is not a thinker. Ricky Bobby is a driver. He is a doer, and that's what you need to do. You don't need to think. You need to drive. You need speed. You need to go out there, and you need to rev your engine. You need to fire it up. You need to grab ahold of that line between speed and chaos, and you need to wrestle it to the ground like a demon cobra. And then, when the fear rises up in your belly, you use it. And you know that fear is powerful, because it has been there for billions of years. And it is good. And you use it. And you ride it; you ride it like a skeleton horse through the gates of hell, and then you win, Ricky. You WIN! And you don't win for anybody else. You win for you, you know why? Because a man takes what he wants. He takes it all. And you're a man, aren't you? Aren't you?
Ricky Bobby: Susan, I've never heard you talk like that... Are we about to get it on? Because I'm as hard as a diamond in an ice storm right now.
Ricky Bobby: Hi, I'm Ricky Bobby. If you don't chew Big Red, then f*** you.
Ricky Bobby: I'm going fast again!
Cal Naughton, Jr.: How fast is he going?
Lucius Washington: 26 miles per hour.
Cal Naughton, Jr.: I like to think of Jesus as a mischievous badger.
Jean Girard: Why do you want me to break your arm so badly?
Ricky Bobby: You don't understand. You don't understand because you don't understand liberty. You don't understand freedom. So you put a crack in my arm like the crack in the Liberty Bell! You hear me?
Texas Ranger: Old man, I'm gonna come at you like a spider monkey!
Texas Ranger: I'm all jacked up on mountain dew!
Texas Ranger: One of you turds is gonna get smacked in the mouth!
Ricky Bobby: [while signing autographs] I'd love to sign your baby!
Texas Ranger: Why, if it isn't our mangy, transient grandfather.
Reese Bobby: Hey shut up you little pot-licker I'll stick you in a microwave!
Ricky Bobby: This sticker is dangerous and inconvenient, but I do love Fig Newtons.
Ricky Bobby: Did that blow your mind, because that just happened!
South Park
Boobs come and go. Soon you'll find new boobs. And you'll want to marry those boobs. - Stan's Dad
No Kitty! This is my pot pie! Mom, Kitty's being a dildo! - Eric Cartman
Football Commentator: Oh I haven't seen a Jew run like that since Poland, 1938.
Football Commentator: Oh, I've haven't seen an Englishman take a blow like that since Hugh Grant.
Cartman: How come everything today has involved things either coming in or going out of my ass?
Trey Parker: You know, when Comedy Central asked us to do a Thanksgiving episode, the first thought that went through my mind was, "Boy, I'd like to have sex with Jennifer Aniston."
Kyle: Cartman, you have such a fat ass, that when you walk down the street people go, "God, dammit thats a big fat ass!"
Cartman: They do not!!
Random guy: God Dammit, thats a big fat ass!
Mr Garrison: Genetic engineering is man's way of correcting God's hideous mistakes, like German people.
Mr Garrison: A haiku is just like a normal American poem except it doesn't rhyme and it's totally stupid.
Mr Garrison: Tolerant, but not stupid! Look, just because you have to tolerate something doesn't mean you have to approve of it! Tolerate means you're just putting up with it! You tolerate a crying child sitting next to you on the airplane or, or you tolerate a bad cold. It can still piss you off!
Eric Cartman: Independent films are those black and white hippy movies. They're always about gay cowboys eating pudding.
Eric Cartman: I've been keeping this place free of hippies since I was five and a half.
Eric Cartman: Respect my authority!
Eric Cartman: Too bad drinking scotch isn't a paying job or Kenny's dad would be a millionare!
Eric Cartman: This picture, I'd like to call "The Pierre." I invited Butters to stay the night and while he was sleeping I made a mustache on his face with cat poo!
Eric Cartman: Attention shoppers! Outside today, we have a cripple fight. Cripple fight, outside!
Eric Cartman: I hate hippies! I mean, the way they always talk about protecting the earth' and then drive around in cars that get poor gas mileage and wear those stupid bracelets… I hate 'em!
No Kitty! This is my pot pie! Mom, Kitty's being a dildo! - Eric Cartman
Football Commentator: Oh I haven't seen a Jew run like that since Poland, 1938.
Football Commentator: Oh, I've haven't seen an Englishman take a blow like that since Hugh Grant.
Cartman: How come everything today has involved things either coming in or going out of my ass?
Trey Parker: You know, when Comedy Central asked us to do a Thanksgiving episode, the first thought that went through my mind was, "Boy, I'd like to have sex with Jennifer Aniston."
Kyle: Cartman, you have such a fat ass, that when you walk down the street people go, "God, dammit thats a big fat ass!"
Cartman: They do not!!
Random guy: God Dammit, thats a big fat ass!
Mr Garrison: Genetic engineering is man's way of correcting God's hideous mistakes, like German people.
Mr Garrison: A haiku is just like a normal American poem except it doesn't rhyme and it's totally stupid.
Mr Garrison: Tolerant, but not stupid! Look, just because you have to tolerate something doesn't mean you have to approve of it! Tolerate means you're just putting up with it! You tolerate a crying child sitting next to you on the airplane or, or you tolerate a bad cold. It can still piss you off!
Eric Cartman: Independent films are those black and white hippy movies. They're always about gay cowboys eating pudding.
Eric Cartman: I've been keeping this place free of hippies since I was five and a half.
Eric Cartman: Respect my authority!
Eric Cartman: Too bad drinking scotch isn't a paying job or Kenny's dad would be a millionare!
Eric Cartman: This picture, I'd like to call "The Pierre." I invited Butters to stay the night and while he was sleeping I made a mustache on his face with cat poo!
Eric Cartman: Attention shoppers! Outside today, we have a cripple fight. Cripple fight, outside!
Eric Cartman: I hate hippies! I mean, the way they always talk about protecting the earth' and then drive around in cars that get poor gas mileage and wear those stupid bracelets… I hate 'em!
Horton Hears a Who
A person's a person, no matter how small
In my speck, everyone is a pony, and they eat rainbows and poop butterflies.
In my speck, everyone is a pony, and they eat rainbows and poop butterflies.
Quotes from My Friends
You can't love anybody until you first love yourself... but you can work on loving yourself with the help from the firsts you love. - Allisea Horvath
You live how you live. You smile for yourself. - Matt McGuire
Today I forgot your name...
Tomorrow I'll forget the pain...
Nothing else left to gain
as you're everything I have to blame.
Fuck you... You're all the same.
- BKizzle
Caps lock is cruise control for your mom. - Aimee Sanjari
You live how you live. You smile for yourself. - Matt McGuire
Today I forgot your name...
Tomorrow I'll forget the pain...
Nothing else left to gain
as you're everything I have to blame.
Fuck you... You're all the same.
- BKizzle
Caps lock is cruise control for your mom. - Aimee Sanjari
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