Zach: You don't visit, Damon... You appear. Periodically. Reminding me that this isn't my house, that you're only allowing me to live here ... allowing me to live.
Damon: Someone had to mow the lawn.
Caroline: How come you don’t sparkle?
Damon: Because I live in the real world where vampires burn in the sun.
Damon: It’s cool not growing old. I like being the eternal stud.
Stefan: Yes, being a 150 year old teenager’s been the height of my happiness.
Elena: How can you be so arrogant and glib after all that you’ve done?
Damon: How can you be so brave and stupid to call a vampire arrogant and glib?
Caroline: What is that? The ‘Hey’s.’ that is two ‘Hey’s.’ Do you have any other words in your vocabulary?
Matt: what’s wrong with ‘Hey’?
Caroline: It reeks of awkward subtext. You spent the night in my bed. There was cuddling and then you snuck out before dawn so you wouldn’t have to face me which I must say is a total lame guy move that I did not appreciate. Now with the ‘Hey’s.’ Seriously? I mean, I may have been some pathetic insecure mess after the party but do not mistake that for me being a pushover. Because I do not let guys mess with my head anymore.
Matt: I heard your mom in the morning. I didn’t want to get you in trouble so I went out the window.
Caroline: you went out the window. Another lame guy move.
Matt: your mom is the sheriff. And as for the ‘hey’s,’ I’m pretty sure it’s what I said to you every day since first grade. Trying to read something into it, lame girl move.
Tyler: It never is until you become ‘we’ people.
Matt: ‘We’ people?
Tyler: Yeah. ‘We’ can’t make it to the party. ‘We’ll’ never miss a game. ‘We’ don’t like the color red.
Bonnie: I’m proving something to my friend.
Ben: Oh yeah, what’s that?
Bonnie: That you don’t have to sit around and wait for a guy to come up to you.
Matt: Duke’s a douche.
Tyler: Yeah a douche with ten kegs. My new best friend.
Matt: Do you ever get bored of it?
Tyler: Of what?
Matt: Yourself.
Jeremy: Jenna, what’s up?
Jenna: Regret.
Damon: Does it get tiring, being so righteous?
Elena: It flares up in the presence of psychopaths.
Jeremy: I wake up every day and I feel okay, but there’s something missing. Like a, like a hole. Some people they fit in life or whatever, I don’t.
Anna: So you want a pity turn.
Jeremy: You should turn me because I don’t have anything else.
Anna: Do you know why we turn people. It’s not so we can give a one way ticket out of loner hood. One, we need someone to do our dirty work. Two, revenge. Three, boredom, but you know that never turns out well. And ya know, there’s the obvious one. You love someone so much that you’d do anything to spend eternity with them. I’m sorry but you don’t fit any of those categories yet.
Jeremy: Why does she hate you?
John: We used to sleep together.
Damon: You won. Now nothing can come between you and Elena. Except the truth. The lies catch up to you, the longer you keep lying to yourself about who you are.
Stefan: The beauty of you in there and me out here ... is that I can walk away.
Damon: I'm stronger than you think.
Stefan: You always have been. But you're not stronger than vervain. And you know it. I'm sorry. It didn't have to be this way.
Stefan: They are people, Damon. She's not a puppet, she doesn't exist for your amusement, for you to feed on whenever you want to.
Damon: Sure she does. They all do. They're whatever I want them to be.
Elena: We never go to the texting part.
Bonnie: That's an important part in any relationship.
Stefan: Wherever you go, people die.
Damon: That's a given.
Elena: What happened?
Damon: Katherine happened.
Mason: In my mind, you're 12 years old.
Tyler: That's two years older than the last time you saw me.
Bonnie: When we're alone, I'm gonna take you out.
Damon: You need to stop with the witch's brew. You're starting to believe your own press.
Stefan: How can I play if I don't know the rules?
Katherine: No rules, Stefan. Don't you remember? No rules.
Stefan: I haven't spent 145 years obsessed with you.
Katherine: Based on your choice of women, I'd say otherwise.
Katherine: I came back for you.
Stefan: The problem, Katherine, is that I hate you.
Katherine: That sounds like the beginning of a love story. Not the end of one.
Stefan: Maybe they're ninja turtles. Or zombies. Werewolves.
Damon: This is reality, and there's no such thing as werewolves.
Alaric: You did kill her brother.
Damon: There is a huge asterisk next to that statement: he came back to life.
Stefan: Why are you back in town?
Katherine: Three reasons: you, you, and you.
Mason: I've heard a lot of great things about you.
Damon: Really? That's weird because I'm a dick.
Stefan: They were your friends, they were your family and you sold them out.
Katherine: Without blinking.
Damon: I always pegged you for a lone wolf.
Mason: I'm sure I wasn't half the lady killer you were.
Stefan: I'm starving.
Elena: Spending a day with your jealous ex will do that.
Caroline: You're gonna pretend to be a mother?
Mrs. Forbes: I'll bring my gun if it gets rough.
Katherine: So, here we are: the brother who loved me too much and the only who didn't love me enough.
Damon: And the evil slut vampire who only loved herself.
Katherine: Have I mentioned how inconvenient your obsession for me as been?
Damon: You and me both, honey.
Stefan: I'm sorry.
Damon: About what?
Stefan: About being the guy that made you turn 145 years ago... what I did was selfish. I didn't wanna be alone. Guess I just needed my brother.
Elena: The oldest vampire in the history of time is coming after me?
Damon: We're looking at a solid... maybe.
Rose: Being in love with your brother's girlfriend must be difficult.
Damon: I'm not in love with anyone.
Rose: Wanna try that again?
Kelly Donovan: I love to see a man drown his sorrows, it’s so sexy.
Damon: I prefer to call it nursing my wounds.
Kelly: Take a night off. It’s good for the soul.
Damon: Great for the soul.
Jenna: This is going to end up badly.
Elena: Do you think this is funny?
Damon: Yes, Elena, I find hilarity in the lengths I need to go to to save your life
Damon: You sure you can do that?
Rose: I don't love men that love other women. I think more of myself then that.
Rose: I miss being human.
Damon: Humanity's not all it's cracked up to be.
Elena: We just need answers. Try not to do anything stupid.
Damon: Yeah, but stupid's so much more fun.
John: You guys are drinking vervain.
Damon: It's an acquired taste.
Andie: What do you want, Mr. Tall, Dark and Handsome?
Damon: I'm not that tall.
Tyler: I'm sorry.
Caroline: No. It's too late because we are not friends anymore and what happened to me tonight? That will never happen again. So you take that back to your little werewolf pack and you get the hell out of my house.
Andie: I can't believe you called me. I thought I was being way to forward when I had Jenna give you my number.
Damon: I like a woman who knows what she wants.
Damon: I'm in love with a woman I can never have.
Andie: I knew it. I know how to pick them.
Andie: So why can't you have her? She's with another man I assume.
Damon: Yeah, but that's not the point. The point it, I'm in love with her. It's driving me crazy. I'm out of control.
Andie: You don't trust yourself around her?
Damon: I don't trust myself around anyone, Andie. I'm bad, Andie. I do bad things. I kill people. Don't be afraid. You're ok.
Andie: Why do you kill people?
Damon: Because I like it. It's in my nature too. It's who I am. But then I have to stay together to protect her and she wants me to be the better man which means I can't be who I am. Do you see the problem I'm having, Andie?
Damon: Without a full moon it's not an even fight and you know it. We will take you.
Jules: I'm not so sure about that tough guy.
Stefan: I'm sorry about Rose.
Damon: Whatever, I knew the woman for...five minutes.
Stefan: Well, you cared about her after five minutes though. I wonder what that means?
Damon: It means I care, Stefan. It means I'm changing and evolving into a man capable of greatness.
Damon: You need to stop doing that.
Elena: Doing what?
Damon: Assuming that I'll play the good guy, because it's you who's asking.
Tyler: The Doppleganger?
Stevie: Evil twin shadow person.
Bonnie: Overnight, you turned into this hot guy, who's really hot and...
Jeremy: You think I'm hot?
Stefan: Are you actually gonna be careful for once?
Damon: Yes, I've become you. How tragic for both of us. Gotta run. Have a murder to plan. Busy day.
Damon: So let me guess--in addition to the moonstone, the doppelganger, the lion, the witch, and the wardrobe, you need to find this witch burial ground.
Elijah: Because I feel that we've grown so close, Damon, I'll tell you "yes."
Elena: What is she doing here?
Damon: When we killed Elijah, it broke the compulsion and freed the bitch from the tomb.
Elena: You screw up everything, John. Everything you touch just falls apart. But you’re the only parent I have left. So maybe I can learn not to hate you.
Damon: You should be thankful she’s here. She’s keeping me from going for what I really want.
Stefan: You’re right. Thank you for being in love with my girlfriend.
Damon: Wow, I'd love to lend you a hand, but, you know, you wouldn't want me doing anything stupid.
Stefan: You're seriously gonna be like this?
Damon: You and your girlfriend are calling the shots. I'm just... backing off, Stefan.
Stefan: Elena made her decision. She's choosing to trust Elijah. I'm going to put my faith in her.
Damon: Why? She's going to end up dead.
Stefan: Because she put her faith in me. She chose to trust me in spite of what I am. I'm going to bet on somebody's instincts, it's going to be hers.
Damon: Well, then, that makes you the biggest idiot of them all.
Stefan: She chose to trust you, too.
Damon: Then maybe you shouldn't be so sure about her instincts.
Stefan: Look, I know this isn’t the first time you have thought about it, drinking vampire blood to survive and I know I have thought about it a 100 times.
Elena: and before all this with Klaus? Do you think about it then?
Stefan: Of course I did. Look, if it were my choice I would want to be with you forever.
Elena: Why have you never brought it up?
Stefan: Because I knew if it was an option you would have. It’s selfish for me to ask you.
Elena: Didn’t stop Damon.
Stefan: He shouldn’t of done what he did, he did it because he loves you.
Elena: But he did this to me, Stefan. Which means he doesn’t really know what love is and to be honest I don’t know if I do? I’m seventeen years old. How do I know any of this yet? I know that I love you Stefan, I know that but my future, our lives together, those were things I was supposed to do as they came along, I was supposed to grow up, decide if I wanna have kids and start a family, grow old and I was supposed to have a lifetime of it. Now, that’s all gone.
Stefan: It’s ok to say it, please.
Elena: I don’t want to be a vampire, Stefan. I never wanted to be one.
Tyler: You were right. I shouldn't have come home.
Caroline: No, you just...should have never left. And you shouldn't leave again.
Tyler: You're kidding, right? This is the second time I've tried to kill you.
Caroline: Well, no friendship is perfect.
Damon: When Klaus dies, you're going to walk out of here without a scratch and Elena's aunt dies. Somehow you're the only one that wins. How'd that happen?
Katherine: I didn't let love get in the way.
Damon: Enjoy an eternity alone, Katherine.
Stefan: Your blood is the cure.
Klaus: Gotta love mother nature.
Damon: You should have met me in 1864. You'd have liked me.
Elena: I like you now. Just the way you are.
Monday, May 24, 2010
Vampire Diaries: Isobel Peterson
You were supposed to mourn me, and move on.
Forever doesn’t last very long, when you’re human.
Don’t look for any redeeming qualities in me. I don’t have any.
Goodbye Elena. As long as you have a Salvatore on each arm, you’re doomed. Katherine was smart. She got out. But we all know that you’re not Katherine.
I wanted this. I needed this. And I’m going to regret it forever. This was my mistake, not yours. You are not going to remember this. I loved you. I did. And when I think about what I gave up, it hurts. But now your heart is free of me. It’s easier this way. Goodbye Rick.
Forever doesn’t last very long, when you’re human.
Don’t look for any redeeming qualities in me. I don’t have any.
Goodbye Elena. As long as you have a Salvatore on each arm, you’re doomed. Katherine was smart. She got out. But we all know that you’re not Katherine.
I wanted this. I needed this. And I’m going to regret it forever. This was my mistake, not yours. You are not going to remember this. I loved you. I did. And when I think about what I gave up, it hurts. But now your heart is free of me. It’s easier this way. Goodbye Rick.
Vampire DIaries: Minor Characters
Lexie: That’s it, Damon. After a century I’ve realized that death means nothing without you. Do me.
Lexie: But at the end of the day, love really did conquer all.
Lexie: When it’s real, you can’t walk away.
Lexie: You'll rock her world so hard with your vamp sex, she'll be yours forever.
Lexie: It's not every day a guy turns 162 years old.
Frederick: Vervain... making it hard to find something to eat in this town.
Pageant contestant: Just because my DUI made my community service mandatory doesn't mean I was any less committed.
Lexie: Well, that's the benefit of knowing someone for over a hundred years. You can just be yourself.
Lexie: The love of my life was human. He went through what I imagine you're going through: denial, anger, etc. But at the end of the day, love really did conquer all.
Mayor: You don’t fight in there like pansies; you take your battles outside and fight like men.
Bree: If you’re not roped, you’re whipped. Just enjoy the ride.
Lexie’s boyfriend: If you want to be with someone forever, you have to live forever.
Ben: You know, you shouldn’t be so desperate. You made it too easy.
Kelly Donovan: Just stop. Stop trying so hard. This thing you’re doing, this nice thing. It’s fake, like you, like your mom. And for some reason Matt fell for it, but that doesn’t mean I will. And I like you. Okay?
Pearl: The keypad is for texting, which you want to do when you want to avoid talking to someone.
Pearl: I have 400 years on you little boy. I’ll rip you from limb to limb and you know it.
Frederick: 145 years left starving in a tomb thanks to Katherine’s infatuation with you and your brother. The first few weeks, every nerve in your body screams with fire, kind of pain that can drive a person mad. Well, I thought your brother might want to get a taste of that before I killed him.
Kelly Donovan: Well I guess ‘dead kid’ rates a special greeting from the mayor.
John: You vampires, you’re so emotional.
Emily: Katherine saved my life once. I owed her. I wouldn’t wish her curse on anyone.
Emily: Even in death, your heart is pure, Stefan. I sense that about you. That would be a curse.
Rose: I'm a vampire. I haven't had a cold in five centuries.
Andie [to Damon]: Love does that Damon. It changes us.
Andie: You can booty call me anytime you want.
Jules: I'll tell you the only sure that exists. Take a stake and drive it through her heart.
Jules: We live by a code of loyalty. We take care of each other. It's my duty and honor to help you. Please let me.
Brady [to Tyler]: They're the enemy. And if they break that curse, all of us are as good as dead.
Elijah: If you so as much make a move to cross me, I'll kill you and kill everyone in this house.
Journal entry: I saw the vampire who killed me. I recognized him. It was Stefan Salvatore.
Elijah: I don't really pursue younger women. It's a joke, Ric. Lighten up.
Elijah: The problem, Damon...you talk a good game but you don't actually know anything. She'll never forgive you. And never for a vampire...it's a very long time.
John: (voiceover, in his letter to Elena) Elena, it's no easy task being an ordinary parent to an extraordinary child. I failed in that task. And because of my prejudices, I failed you. I'm haunted by how things might have played out differently if I'd been more willing to hear your side of things. For me, it's the end. For you, a chance to grow old and someday do better with your own child than I did with mine. It's for that child that I give you my ring. I don't ask for your forgiveness or for you to forget. I ask only that you believe this. Whether you are now reading this as a human or as a vampire, I love you all the same. As I've always loved you, and always will. John.
Klaus [to Stefan]: You are just shy of useless.
Klaus: I could have compelled her to behave, but a real ripper enjoys the hunt.
Lexie: But at the end of the day, love really did conquer all.
Lexie: When it’s real, you can’t walk away.
Lexie: You'll rock her world so hard with your vamp sex, she'll be yours forever.
Lexie: It's not every day a guy turns 162 years old.
Frederick: Vervain... making it hard to find something to eat in this town.
Pageant contestant: Just because my DUI made my community service mandatory doesn't mean I was any less committed.
Lexie: Well, that's the benefit of knowing someone for over a hundred years. You can just be yourself.
Lexie: The love of my life was human. He went through what I imagine you're going through: denial, anger, etc. But at the end of the day, love really did conquer all.
Mayor: You don’t fight in there like pansies; you take your battles outside and fight like men.
Bree: If you’re not roped, you’re whipped. Just enjoy the ride.
Lexie’s boyfriend: If you want to be with someone forever, you have to live forever.
Ben: You know, you shouldn’t be so desperate. You made it too easy.
Kelly Donovan: Just stop. Stop trying so hard. This thing you’re doing, this nice thing. It’s fake, like you, like your mom. And for some reason Matt fell for it, but that doesn’t mean I will. And I like you. Okay?
Pearl: The keypad is for texting, which you want to do when you want to avoid talking to someone.
Pearl: I have 400 years on you little boy. I’ll rip you from limb to limb and you know it.
Frederick: 145 years left starving in a tomb thanks to Katherine’s infatuation with you and your brother. The first few weeks, every nerve in your body screams with fire, kind of pain that can drive a person mad. Well, I thought your brother might want to get a taste of that before I killed him.
Kelly Donovan: Well I guess ‘dead kid’ rates a special greeting from the mayor.
John: You vampires, you’re so emotional.
Emily: Katherine saved my life once. I owed her. I wouldn’t wish her curse on anyone.
Emily: Even in death, your heart is pure, Stefan. I sense that about you. That would be a curse.
Rose: I'm a vampire. I haven't had a cold in five centuries.
Andie [to Damon]: Love does that Damon. It changes us.
Andie: You can booty call me anytime you want.
Jules: I'll tell you the only sure that exists. Take a stake and drive it through her heart.
Jules: We live by a code of loyalty. We take care of each other. It's my duty and honor to help you. Please let me.
Brady [to Tyler]: They're the enemy. And if they break that curse, all of us are as good as dead.
Elijah: If you so as much make a move to cross me, I'll kill you and kill everyone in this house.
Journal entry: I saw the vampire who killed me. I recognized him. It was Stefan Salvatore.
Elijah: I don't really pursue younger women. It's a joke, Ric. Lighten up.
Elijah: The problem, Damon...you talk a good game but you don't actually know anything. She'll never forgive you. And never for a vampire...it's a very long time.
John: (voiceover, in his letter to Elena) Elena, it's no easy task being an ordinary parent to an extraordinary child. I failed in that task. And because of my prejudices, I failed you. I'm haunted by how things might have played out differently if I'd been more willing to hear your side of things. For me, it's the end. For you, a chance to grow old and someday do better with your own child than I did with mine. It's for that child that I give you my ring. I don't ask for your forgiveness or for you to forget. I ask only that you believe this. Whether you are now reading this as a human or as a vampire, I love you all the same. As I've always loved you, and always will. John.
Klaus [to Stefan]: You are just shy of useless.
Klaus: I could have compelled her to behave, but a real ripper enjoys the hunt.
Vampire Diaries: Alaric Saltzman
Did you know that your old teacher had a ‘jackass’ file. No joke. Typed on the label. It’s a list of trouble makers in it, but really it’s just an opus, to you.
You look like a full-grown, alpha male douchebag.
[voiceover]: I found one, after years of research and study. There it was right in front of me. I was terrified. As I stared it into its eyes, I drove a stake into its heart. I was right about Mystic Falls, there is evil here. I can sense it, feel it, it’s everywhere.
First person account of the Civil War? That's like porn for a history teacher.
Losing someone you love so suddenly, the trauma and the grief, there some of the tougher things you’ll face in life.
That’s the hard part, not knowing.
Can I get you a drink? I hear the punch is real boss.
Hell, you’re a dick and you kill people but I still see something in you.
That Elijah is one scary dude, but with nice hair.
Give me your glass. Neither one of us is drunk enough for this conversation.
You look like a full-grown, alpha male douchebag.
[voiceover]: I found one, after years of research and study. There it was right in front of me. I was terrified. As I stared it into its eyes, I drove a stake into its heart. I was right about Mystic Falls, there is evil here. I can sense it, feel it, it’s everywhere.
First person account of the Civil War? That's like porn for a history teacher.
Losing someone you love so suddenly, the trauma and the grief, there some of the tougher things you’ll face in life.
That’s the hard part, not knowing.
Can I get you a drink? I hear the punch is real boss.
Hell, you’re a dick and you kill people but I still see something in you.
That Elijah is one scary dude, but with nice hair.
Give me your glass. Neither one of us is drunk enough for this conversation.
Vampire Diaries: Vicki Donovan
I really hope that you’re not one of those guys that now we’re together you try to change everything about me.
I have a few new toys and I won't hesitate to rip your little head off.
Why do I have to pee? I thought I was dead.
You did this to me out of boredom?
I have a few new toys and I won't hesitate to rip your little head off.
Why do I have to pee? I thought I was dead.
You did this to me out of boredom?
Vampire Diaries: Anna
First rule about vampires, don’t believe anything you read.
You only like me because of what you want from me.
I’m not going to turn someone who learned everything he knows about vampires from Netflix.
Sometimes you have to wear uncomfortable heels to blend in.
Do you know why we turn people? It’s not to get someone out of loneliness. One, we need someone to do our dirty work. Two, revenge. Three, boredom. That never turns out well. And then there’s the obvious one. You love someone so much that you’d do anything to spend all of eternity with them. I’m sorry, but you don’t fit any of categories yet.
Dracula was a complete wuss. Never showered. Very smelly.
Yeah I think we’ll skip the dead mom bonding so you can start serving a purpose.
You only like me because of what you want from me.
I’m not going to turn someone who learned everything he knows about vampires from Netflix.
Sometimes you have to wear uncomfortable heels to blend in.
Do you know why we turn people? It’s not to get someone out of loneliness. One, we need someone to do our dirty work. Two, revenge. Three, boredom. That never turns out well. And then there’s the obvious one. You love someone so much that you’d do anything to spend all of eternity with them. I’m sorry, but you don’t fit any of categories yet.
Dracula was a complete wuss. Never showered. Very smelly.
Yeah I think we’ll skip the dead mom bonding so you can start serving a purpose.
Vampire Diaries: Matt Donovan
Like he's a serial killer and keeps a clown suit in his trunk?
I'm saying this because of Elena. She's big on trust. The more you try to hide whatever it is you're hiding, the more determined she's gonna be to figure it out.
Don't say anything. You're a dick. End of story.
So stop your little bro-mance bitch act.
The guy who seems like he has everything so that people who don’t kind of run the other way.
I was there because I wanted to be with you. I don’t know what this means or what we are, but I do know that you’re the only person I want to be in the car with right now. I don’t even know if that makes sense because I’m not that good at expressing myself.
Don’t you get it? I’m better off without you.
Since when am I the one who can express himself and you the one at a loss for words?
I'm saying this because of Elena. She's big on trust. The more you try to hide whatever it is you're hiding, the more determined she's gonna be to figure it out.
Don't say anything. You're a dick. End of story.
So stop your little bro-mance bitch act.
The guy who seems like he has everything so that people who don’t kind of run the other way.
I was there because I wanted to be with you. I don’t know what this means or what we are, but I do know that you’re the only person I want to be in the car with right now. I don’t even know if that makes sense because I’m not that good at expressing myself.
Don’t you get it? I’m better off without you.
Since when am I the one who can express himself and you the one at a loss for words?
Vampire Diaries: Tyler Lockwood
Football is a contact sport. Sometimes, people get hurt.
Be more creepy Dad, it’s not like your son is standing right here.
And you can tell all that by looking at her ass? Awesome.
Let’s hang out because we did the same chick? Go hang out with one of the other guys that she screwed because there’s no shortage of them.
I kinda fell for her. I don't know how anyone wouldn't because she's pretty incredible.
Be more creepy Dad, it’s not like your son is standing right here.
And you can tell all that by looking at her ass? Awesome.
Let’s hang out because we did the same chick? Go hang out with one of the other guys that she screwed because there’s no shortage of them.
I kinda fell for her. I don't know how anyone wouldn't because she's pretty incredible.
Vampire Diaries: Bonnie Bennet
She needs someone nice like him, as opposed to a homicidal vampire like Damon.
Unless he is a calculating, manipulating liar, that is your business.
I planted doubt. I’m a doubt planter.
Don’t be bitter. It provokes wrinkles.
Don’t rain on my hot guy parade.
First mistake, Metallica karaoke.
You channel Scarlett daily.
Caroline killed someone. I can't make it easier for her to do that again.
Unless he is a calculating, manipulating liar, that is your business.
I planted doubt. I’m a doubt planter.
Don’t be bitter. It provokes wrinkles.
Don’t rain on my hot guy parade.
First mistake, Metallica karaoke.
You channel Scarlett daily.
Caroline killed someone. I can't make it easier for her to do that again.
Vampire Diaries: Caroline Forbes
It’s easy. Girl likes boy. Boy likes girl. Sex.
Ever notice how the druggies are the biggest attention whores.
Mom, if I wanna talk boys, I’ll call dad. At least he’s successfully dating one.
I wanna be ‘the abyss’ deep.
I'm worse than shallow. I'm a kiddie pool.
I am gonna drink until someone is hot enough to make out with.
If you want something done right, you ought to do it yourself.
I’m so not going to be one of those girls who disappears just because she has a boyfriend.
You made out with his mother and then you beat him to a pulp. You're gonna have to do a little better than "I'm sorry."
What is this, a threesome now? You and the Salvatore brothers?
Let's summon some spirits. This Emily chick has some serious explaining to do.
Hey, so I have a speech. It is fully scripted and well-rehearsed. Are you ready for it? It’s a ‘You kissed me and I don’t want things to be weird’ speech.
So, I know you don’t think that this is going to work out between us. I just want to let you know that right here and right now, I’m offering you an out. Like an escape clause.
The hand thing, with Elena… it was lame. I was lame. Your feelings for Elena aside, Damon was there. And he was always such a jerk to me. And I wanted to show off that I was with the good guy. So anyways, I was lame.
Speech #3. I want this to work. And I’m scared that you’re going to change your mind and you’re not going to want it. I don’t want to mess it up.
It’s hard for me to show kindness to people who hate me. I’m not that evolved.
Matt’s still in love with you and I’m always going to be the backup. I’m Matt's 'Elena' backup. I’m your 'Bonnie' backup. You don’t get it. You’re always everyone’s first choice.
You don’t get it. Why would you? You’re everyone’s first choice.
It’s my dad’s boyfriend’s daughter’s birthday.
I can’t fix it if I don’t know what’s wrong.
Hide your cast. It’s not era appropriate.
You manipulated me, you pushed me around, abused me, erased my memories, fed on me.
I'm a m-m-murderer. I'm a monster!
I don't get to choose the ring I have to wear the rest of my life?
You want me to eat bunnies and I'm kind of freaking out.
So you're saying now I'm an insecure, neurotic control freak... on crack?
That doesn't vary much from your worried vampire look, neither of which vary from your hey-it's-Tuesday look.
You're gonna be 70 and in diapers and he's still gonna be smokin' hot.
He's a bit of a blood-aholic.
That werewolf road leads straight to vampire boulevard!
I'm a terrible liar... I'm even worse at duplicity.
Yeah, this is much better than watching Damon visit cougar town.
There's a reason it's called a curse, Tyler.
Just because I talk a lot doesn't mean I always know what I'm talking about.
All of this waiting around for news is ruining Scarlet for me.
Ever notice how the druggies are the biggest attention whores.
Mom, if I wanna talk boys, I’ll call dad. At least he’s successfully dating one.
I wanna be ‘the abyss’ deep.
I'm worse than shallow. I'm a kiddie pool.
I am gonna drink until someone is hot enough to make out with.
If you want something done right, you ought to do it yourself.
I’m so not going to be one of those girls who disappears just because she has a boyfriend.
You made out with his mother and then you beat him to a pulp. You're gonna have to do a little better than "I'm sorry."
What is this, a threesome now? You and the Salvatore brothers?
Let's summon some spirits. This Emily chick has some serious explaining to do.
Hey, so I have a speech. It is fully scripted and well-rehearsed. Are you ready for it? It’s a ‘You kissed me and I don’t want things to be weird’ speech.
So, I know you don’t think that this is going to work out between us. I just want to let you know that right here and right now, I’m offering you an out. Like an escape clause.
The hand thing, with Elena… it was lame. I was lame. Your feelings for Elena aside, Damon was there. And he was always such a jerk to me. And I wanted to show off that I was with the good guy. So anyways, I was lame.
Speech #3. I want this to work. And I’m scared that you’re going to change your mind and you’re not going to want it. I don’t want to mess it up.
It’s hard for me to show kindness to people who hate me. I’m not that evolved.
Matt’s still in love with you and I’m always going to be the backup. I’m Matt's 'Elena' backup. I’m your 'Bonnie' backup. You don’t get it. You’re always everyone’s first choice.
You don’t get it. Why would you? You’re everyone’s first choice.
It’s my dad’s boyfriend’s daughter’s birthday.
I can’t fix it if I don’t know what’s wrong.
Hide your cast. It’s not era appropriate.
You manipulated me, you pushed me around, abused me, erased my memories, fed on me.
I'm a m-m-murderer. I'm a monster!
I don't get to choose the ring I have to wear the rest of my life?
You want me to eat bunnies and I'm kind of freaking out.
So you're saying now I'm an insecure, neurotic control freak... on crack?
That doesn't vary much from your worried vampire look, neither of which vary from your hey-it's-Tuesday look.
You're gonna be 70 and in diapers and he's still gonna be smokin' hot.
He's a bit of a blood-aholic.
That werewolf road leads straight to vampire boulevard!
I'm a terrible liar... I'm even worse at duplicity.
Yeah, this is much better than watching Damon visit cougar town.
There's a reason it's called a curse, Tyler.
Just because I talk a lot doesn't mean I always know what I'm talking about.
All of this waiting around for news is ruining Scarlet for me.
Vampire Diaries: Jenna Gilbert
You just pointed out that I have no self-control. Clever strategy.
I've sworn off men forever, but it doesn't mean I can't observe them from a safe distance.
You and Stefan talked all night? There was no sloppy first kiss or touching of any kind?
I’m a little drunk and hot guy plus drunk me equals very bad things.
What you say and what you do are typically two different things.
He needs to have more fun. Lose some of that emo thing.
Children under our care at five o’clock. This is not role modelish.
Hot guy + drunk me = very bad things.
So Elena is my sister's husband's brother's daughter and her mother is my boyfriend's deceased wife. You can't make that stuff up.
Not now, Ric. Tonight, I trade you for Senor Tequila.
I've sworn off men forever, but it doesn't mean I can't observe them from a safe distance.
You and Stefan talked all night? There was no sloppy first kiss or touching of any kind?
I’m a little drunk and hot guy plus drunk me equals very bad things.
What you say and what you do are typically two different things.
He needs to have more fun. Lose some of that emo thing.
Children under our care at five o’clock. This is not role modelish.
Hot guy + drunk me = very bad things.
So Elena is my sister's husband's brother's daughter and her mother is my boyfriend's deceased wife. You can't make that stuff up.
Not now, Ric. Tonight, I trade you for Senor Tequila.
Vampire Diaries: Jeremy Gilbert
Your lips keep moving, I don't know why.
I'm stuck at punch duty at the school dance. I failed English. I copped a plea.
Is that a vampire thing? Because I read that vampires don’t like running water.
Art usually implies culture and culture usually implies, not you.
You realize you had to ask him to ask you. You figure if you dress up like a respectable young lady he’ll treat you like one?
You know you’re making the wrong choice, yet you make it anyway. It’s sad.
I got your punk.
They’re wastes of space, small town lifers.
Cruel is dating my history teacher.
[voiceover, journal]: I live in fear that consumes me. In the early evening when I see the sun begin to fade, the fear comes, because I know that the night brings death.
Vampires are a metaphor for the demons of the day.
You got to be kidding me right? You act like a total dick every time we cross paths, and now you want to party with me?
‘Not ready’ is a step up from ‘no’.
Maybe there is such a thing as vampires they’re just different from the way we know them.
Why would you want to go to high school? It blows.
You’d suffer through all this just to hang out with me?
Why don’t you have Damon erase my memory again? Then I can go back to being your ‘in the dark’ little brother.
When I'm worn down, I take a nap. You were unconscious.
I'm stuck at punch duty at the school dance. I failed English. I copped a plea.
Is that a vampire thing? Because I read that vampires don’t like running water.
Art usually implies culture and culture usually implies, not you.
You realize you had to ask him to ask you. You figure if you dress up like a respectable young lady he’ll treat you like one?
You know you’re making the wrong choice, yet you make it anyway. It’s sad.
I got your punk.
They’re wastes of space, small town lifers.
Cruel is dating my history teacher.
[voiceover, journal]: I live in fear that consumes me. In the early evening when I see the sun begin to fade, the fear comes, because I know that the night brings death.
Vampires are a metaphor for the demons of the day.
You got to be kidding me right? You act like a total dick every time we cross paths, and now you want to party with me?
‘Not ready’ is a step up from ‘no’.
Maybe there is such a thing as vampires they’re just different from the way we know them.
Why would you want to go to high school? It blows.
You’d suffer through all this just to hang out with me?
Why don’t you have Damon erase my memory again? Then I can go back to being your ‘in the dark’ little brother.
When I'm worn down, I take a nap. You were unconscious.
Vampire Diaries: Damon Salvatore
We both know the closest you'll ever get to humanity is when you rip it open and feed on it.
I can learn to be a non-living living person. There’s hope for both of us.
I saw Elena today, btw. That means ‘by the way’. She looked so perky.
That’s what I told him. You have to engage. You can’t just sit there and wait for life to come you. You have to go get it.
Some girls don’t need my persuasion. Some girls just can’t resist my good looks, my style and my charm, my unflinching ability to listen to Taylor Swift. This John Verbatos dude. Dick move.
What’s so special about this Bella girl? Edward is so whipped.
I'm not some drunk sorority chick. You can't Roofy me.
Ugh, who cares? She left you. She sucks.
Time out. Trust me. Problems are still going to be there when you get home.
If I never met him before I wouldn’t know him. It’s not like we hang out at the ‘Vamp bar and grill’.
It's cool not growing old. I like being the eternal stud.
Very Emerson, the way you reveal your soul. So many... adjectives.
No, I slept with her because I liked her. I turned her because she begged me.
Your merry little band of vampires spent the day torturing my brother.
Sounds like I got a lung, which means I get to sit here and watch you die.
I'm getting really bored and impatient; and I don't do bored and impatient.
I say snatch, eat, erase!
You got what you wanted, you and me for all eternity. But hear this brother. I will make it an eternity of misery for you.
She's been couped up in your room all day. She's not Anne Frank.
Your life is pathetic. Your after-life doesn't have to be.
Come on Vicki. Live a little. No pun intended.
You confuse me with someone with remorse.
[on coffee] It does dead flesh good.
I'll adopt the Stefan diet, only nothing with feathers.
We're a team. We could travel the world together. We could try out for The Amazing Race!
I could rip your heart out and not think twice about it.
You’re not the worst company in the world; you should give yourself more credit.
Well, Stefan’s helping and you have taken up residency in Stefan’s bed, er go.
Vampires can’t procreate... though we love to try.
I don't side with anyone. You piss me off. I want you dead.
Hot trumps weird. Trust me.
The only person I can trust is me. You made sure of that many years ago, Stefan.
If I see something I haven't seen before, I'll throw a dollar at it.
I really like this whole menage a team thing. It has a bit of a kink to it.
The only one I can count on is... me.
I mean this sincerely. I hope Elena dies.
No Stefan, thank you. You’re back on Bambi blood and I’m the big bad ass brother again. All’s right in the world.
Guess what? Everyone hates me. But you can't deny: we were bad ass!
If I had a good side, not a way to get on it.
I get it. He's the reason you live. His love lifts you up where you belong.
I have two liters of soccer mom in the fridge.
Fool me once, shame on you.
You spent the last century and a half being a poster child for Prozac. Now you expect me to believe this new you has nothing to do with human blood. Nothing.
Stefan on human blood, he’ll say anything, he’ll do anything because he’s not going to want to stop.
You're playing house with half a tomb of really pissed off vampires. What did you think was gonna happen?
Nostalgia is a bitch.
‘Let’s not kill anyone tonight.’ Your words. Just pointing that out.
You know what happens when you don’t eat. You get all rotty and crusty.
You seem awfully chipper lately. Less doom and gloom. More pep in your step.
Is this what you do when there’s no vampires? Organize bachelor raffles?
We have a problem, Stefan. And when I say problem, I mean global crisis.
Have I entered an alternate universe where Stefan is fun?
I'll sever your hand, pull your ring off and kill you. Do you understand that?
You brood too much. Everything on this planet is not your fault. My actions are not your fault. I own them, they belong to me. You’re not allowed to feel my guilt.
You don’t have to kill to survive. That’s what blood banks are for.
Stefan likes puppy blood... little Golden Retriever blood with floppy ears. That's his favorite.
Today has been a no-good, very-bad day.
Witches. Judgy little things.
I do believe in killing the messenger. You know why? Because it sends a message.
You successfully cured him of anything interesting about his personality.
Damon: Stefan is different. He wants to be human. He wants to feel every episode of How I Met Your Mother.
I like being a living, dead person.
It's Founder's Day. I'm here to eat cotton candy and steal your girl.
‘I have so many emotions but I don’t have any way to express them. Being a teenager is so hard.’
I don't need proof. That's between Elena, John, Maury and a DNA test.
I’m a vampire. What’s your excuse?
He’s the reason you live. His love lifts you up where you belong.
Life sucks either way, Jeremy. At least if you're a vampire, you don't have to feel bad about it if you don't want to.
Somewhere along the line you decided I was worth saving. I wanted to thank you for that.
Sure she does. They all do. They're whatever I want them to be.
You know, a room full of women, clamoring to win a date with me. Sounds tasty.
We both know the closest you'll ever get to humanity is when you rip it open and feed on it.
I'm not some drunk sorority chick. You can't Roofy me.
It's cool not growing old. I like being the eternal stud.
He’s just back to boring, straight laced, off the junk, you’ve successfully cured him of anything that was interesting about his personality.
Have fun with the Mystic Queen. I know I did.
I'm getting really bored and impatient; and I don't do bored and impatient.
You won. Now nothing can come between you and Elena. Except the truth. The lies catch up to you, the longer you keep lying to yourself about who you are.
Katherine wants you dead, there's zero you can do about it. You will be dead.
Are you worried that all the forest animals will band together and fight back? After all, they talk.
You hated me before and we became friends. It would suck if that was gone forever.
I chipped a little bit off your wall of hatred.
I tried to kill a werewolf, I failed. Now I feel like I'm not living up to the version of my best self.
Your search for life's purpose is as obvious as it is tragic.
I was afraid you were gonna be some beast master with no affinity for pain.
I look at you and I see myself. A less dashing, less intelligent version.
Katherine will only rip your heart out. Let me do it for her.
If you're setting me up in anyway, I will rip your heart out and shove it own your throat. Something I'm very good at.
My primary reason for existence has abandoned me and after today’s events, the remains of the shaky ground I walk on are about to go kaboom. Let’s get hammered.
If I had a dollar for every time some evil vampire surprised me.
Elena is on a martyr tear that rivals even if you're greatest hits.
I've been dead before. I got over it.
A: He can't do anything about it and B: what I just said.
I've been marked. What the Hell kind of wolf pronoun stuff is that anyway?
If you're gonna be maudlin, I'm gonna kill you myself. Just to put me out of your misery.
Death happens. We come. We go. The sooner she dies, the better. It's gloomy as hell in here.
You went on a murderous rampage. It happens.
I feel, Elena. And it sucks.
I'm lost... metaphorically, existentially.
I'm not human. And I miss it. I miss it more than anything in the world. That is my secret.
We're not that desperate, Stefan. The guy tried to barbecue me!
Better watch your back. Because I might need to get a hero hairdo of my own and steal your thunder.
I'm steering clear of all women at the moment... trust me, it's in the best interests of women everywhere.
He's a werewolf. He needs to die. I'm willing to do it. It's a win-win.
Since Stefan got here earlier, I'll let him try it his way before I try it my way, which is a lot bloodier.
Just stop talking. Just kiss me. Be my distraction.
You brought back John Gilbert? That was your big ‘Save Elena’ move?
You better start talking or I will kill you in your sleep.
First dad duty: ground your daughter, keep her here.
There's no such thing as a bad idea. Only poorly executed awesome ones.
I get you out of here and your ass is sipping Klaus-free margaritas in some unknown island somewhere, no way.
Katherine, there are six other bedrooms in this house. Go find out.
It's some kind of crazy ass psychic witch attack!
I'll be super pissed if you lock me out.
Don't mistake the fact that we haven't set you on fire in your sleep for trust.
Great, we’ll have to put that on our list of things to do today. “Harness dead witch power."
Let me be clear about something. If it comes down to you and the witch again, I will gladly let Bonnie die. I will always choose you.
You see, that's why I didn't tell you. Cause you would have never been able to do it. Don't get me wrong, Stefan. I don't mind being a bad guy. I'll make all the life and death decisions, while you're busy worrying about collateral damage. I'll even let her hate me for it. But at the end of the day, I'll be the one to keep her alive.
Come back as a vampire and I will stake you myself cause I can’t stand the idea of you hating me forever.
I made a lot of choices that have gotten me here. I deserve to die.
I will always choose you.
I can learn to be a non-living living person. There’s hope for both of us.
I saw Elena today, btw. That means ‘by the way’. She looked so perky.
That’s what I told him. You have to engage. You can’t just sit there and wait for life to come you. You have to go get it.
Some girls don’t need my persuasion. Some girls just can’t resist my good looks, my style and my charm, my unflinching ability to listen to Taylor Swift. This John Verbatos dude. Dick move.
What’s so special about this Bella girl? Edward is so whipped.
I'm not some drunk sorority chick. You can't Roofy me.
Ugh, who cares? She left you. She sucks.
Time out. Trust me. Problems are still going to be there when you get home.
If I never met him before I wouldn’t know him. It’s not like we hang out at the ‘Vamp bar and grill’.
It's cool not growing old. I like being the eternal stud.
Very Emerson, the way you reveal your soul. So many... adjectives.
No, I slept with her because I liked her. I turned her because she begged me.
Your merry little band of vampires spent the day torturing my brother.
Sounds like I got a lung, which means I get to sit here and watch you die.
I'm getting really bored and impatient; and I don't do bored and impatient.
I say snatch, eat, erase!
You got what you wanted, you and me for all eternity. But hear this brother. I will make it an eternity of misery for you.
She's been couped up in your room all day. She's not Anne Frank.
Your life is pathetic. Your after-life doesn't have to be.
Come on Vicki. Live a little. No pun intended.
You confuse me with someone with remorse.
[on coffee] It does dead flesh good.
I'll adopt the Stefan diet, only nothing with feathers.
We're a team. We could travel the world together. We could try out for The Amazing Race!
I could rip your heart out and not think twice about it.
You’re not the worst company in the world; you should give yourself more credit.
Well, Stefan’s helping and you have taken up residency in Stefan’s bed, er go.
Vampires can’t procreate... though we love to try.
I don't side with anyone. You piss me off. I want you dead.
Hot trumps weird. Trust me.
The only person I can trust is me. You made sure of that many years ago, Stefan.
If I see something I haven't seen before, I'll throw a dollar at it.
I really like this whole menage a team thing. It has a bit of a kink to it.
The only one I can count on is... me.
I mean this sincerely. I hope Elena dies.
No Stefan, thank you. You’re back on Bambi blood and I’m the big bad ass brother again. All’s right in the world.
Guess what? Everyone hates me. But you can't deny: we were bad ass!
If I had a good side, not a way to get on it.
I get it. He's the reason you live. His love lifts you up where you belong.
I have two liters of soccer mom in the fridge.
Fool me once, shame on you.
You spent the last century and a half being a poster child for Prozac. Now you expect me to believe this new you has nothing to do with human blood. Nothing.
Stefan on human blood, he’ll say anything, he’ll do anything because he’s not going to want to stop.
You're playing house with half a tomb of really pissed off vampires. What did you think was gonna happen?
Nostalgia is a bitch.
‘Let’s not kill anyone tonight.’ Your words. Just pointing that out.
You know what happens when you don’t eat. You get all rotty and crusty.
You seem awfully chipper lately. Less doom and gloom. More pep in your step.
Is this what you do when there’s no vampires? Organize bachelor raffles?
We have a problem, Stefan. And when I say problem, I mean global crisis.
Have I entered an alternate universe where Stefan is fun?
I'll sever your hand, pull your ring off and kill you. Do you understand that?
You brood too much. Everything on this planet is not your fault. My actions are not your fault. I own them, they belong to me. You’re not allowed to feel my guilt.
You don’t have to kill to survive. That’s what blood banks are for.
Stefan likes puppy blood... little Golden Retriever blood with floppy ears. That's his favorite.
Today has been a no-good, very-bad day.
Witches. Judgy little things.
I do believe in killing the messenger. You know why? Because it sends a message.
You successfully cured him of anything interesting about his personality.
Damon: Stefan is different. He wants to be human. He wants to feel every episode of How I Met Your Mother.
I like being a living, dead person.
It's Founder's Day. I'm here to eat cotton candy and steal your girl.
‘I have so many emotions but I don’t have any way to express them. Being a teenager is so hard.’
I don't need proof. That's between Elena, John, Maury and a DNA test.
I’m a vampire. What’s your excuse?
He’s the reason you live. His love lifts you up where you belong.
Life sucks either way, Jeremy. At least if you're a vampire, you don't have to feel bad about it if you don't want to.
Somewhere along the line you decided I was worth saving. I wanted to thank you for that.
Sure she does. They all do. They're whatever I want them to be.
You know, a room full of women, clamoring to win a date with me. Sounds tasty.
We both know the closest you'll ever get to humanity is when you rip it open and feed on it.
I'm not some drunk sorority chick. You can't Roofy me.
It's cool not growing old. I like being the eternal stud.
He’s just back to boring, straight laced, off the junk, you’ve successfully cured him of anything that was interesting about his personality.
Have fun with the Mystic Queen. I know I did.
I'm getting really bored and impatient; and I don't do bored and impatient.
You won. Now nothing can come between you and Elena. Except the truth. The lies catch up to you, the longer you keep lying to yourself about who you are.
Katherine wants you dead, there's zero you can do about it. You will be dead.
Are you worried that all the forest animals will band together and fight back? After all, they talk.
You hated me before and we became friends. It would suck if that was gone forever.
I chipped a little bit off your wall of hatred.
I tried to kill a werewolf, I failed. Now I feel like I'm not living up to the version of my best self.
Your search for life's purpose is as obvious as it is tragic.
I was afraid you were gonna be some beast master with no affinity for pain.
I look at you and I see myself. A less dashing, less intelligent version.
Katherine will only rip your heart out. Let me do it for her.
If you're setting me up in anyway, I will rip your heart out and shove it own your throat. Something I'm very good at.
My primary reason for existence has abandoned me and after today’s events, the remains of the shaky ground I walk on are about to go kaboom. Let’s get hammered.
If I had a dollar for every time some evil vampire surprised me.
Elena is on a martyr tear that rivals even if you're greatest hits.
I've been dead before. I got over it.
A: He can't do anything about it and B: what I just said.
I've been marked. What the Hell kind of wolf pronoun stuff is that anyway?
If you're gonna be maudlin, I'm gonna kill you myself. Just to put me out of your misery.
Death happens. We come. We go. The sooner she dies, the better. It's gloomy as hell in here.
You went on a murderous rampage. It happens.
I feel, Elena. And it sucks.
I'm lost... metaphorically, existentially.
I'm not human. And I miss it. I miss it more than anything in the world. That is my secret.
We're not that desperate, Stefan. The guy tried to barbecue me!
Better watch your back. Because I might need to get a hero hairdo of my own and steal your thunder.
I'm steering clear of all women at the moment... trust me, it's in the best interests of women everywhere.
He's a werewolf. He needs to die. I'm willing to do it. It's a win-win.
Since Stefan got here earlier, I'll let him try it his way before I try it my way, which is a lot bloodier.
Just stop talking. Just kiss me. Be my distraction.
You brought back John Gilbert? That was your big ‘Save Elena’ move?
You better start talking or I will kill you in your sleep.
First dad duty: ground your daughter, keep her here.
There's no such thing as a bad idea. Only poorly executed awesome ones.
I get you out of here and your ass is sipping Klaus-free margaritas in some unknown island somewhere, no way.
Katherine, there are six other bedrooms in this house. Go find out.
It's some kind of crazy ass psychic witch attack!
I'll be super pissed if you lock me out.
Don't mistake the fact that we haven't set you on fire in your sleep for trust.
Great, we’ll have to put that on our list of things to do today. “Harness dead witch power."
Let me be clear about something. If it comes down to you and the witch again, I will gladly let Bonnie die. I will always choose you.
You see, that's why I didn't tell you. Cause you would have never been able to do it. Don't get me wrong, Stefan. I don't mind being a bad guy. I'll make all the life and death decisions, while you're busy worrying about collateral damage. I'll even let her hate me for it. But at the end of the day, I'll be the one to keep her alive.
Come back as a vampire and I will stake you myself cause I can’t stand the idea of you hating me forever.
I made a lot of choices that have gotten me here. I deserve to die.
I will always choose you.
Vampire Diaries: Stefan Salvatore
[voiceover] For over a century I have lived in secret, hiding in the shadows, alone in the world, until now. I am a vampire. And this is my story.
[voiceover] I shouldn't have come home, I know the risk, but I have to know her.
[voiceover] I lost control today. Everything I’ve kept buried inside came rushing to the surface. I’m simply not able to resist her.
[voiceover]: I had a plan, I wanted to change who I was. Create a life of someone new, someone without the past.
[voiceover]: I’m awake for the first time in a long time I feel completely and undeniably wide awake. I welcome the day, because all I know I will see her again.
If I don’t write it down, I’ll forget it. Memories are too... important.
Let them chain me up and drive a stake through my heart, because at least I’ll be free of you.
Do you wanna know what I would write? ‘I met a girl, we talked, it was epic. Then the sun came up and reality set in.’ All this, is reality, right here.
Katherine is dead. And you hate me because you loved her.... and that, my brother, is your humanity.
Salem witches are heroic examples of individualism and non-conformity.
[voiceover]: There must be a shred of humanity left inside my brother. Somewhere, I keep hoping. But how do I make him see it? How do I protect her?
[voiceover]: The real animal is still out there, waiting for me. Challenging me to fight back, to stop him. But how do I stop a monster without becoming one myself.
[voiceover]: I did what I had to do, to protect Elena, to protect everyone. Yes, Damon, the headline reads, ‘Deadly beast captured.’ All is well in Mystic Falls.
If you're going to dump me, I figure you should at least know who you're dumping. Let's start with Katherine. She had this perfect olive skin. She had this perfect laugh. She was also impatient, impulsive. Enter Damon. He claims he was with her first. I don't know. I do know I did some things I'm not proud of. My biggest regret is not being able to make things right before she died. I miss her, but I'm not crippled.
Everything you know, and every belief you know is about to change. Are you ready for that?
We choose our own path. Our values and our actions, they define who we are.
Elena is warm and kind and caring and selfless and it's real. When I'm around her, I completely forget where I am.
You saved my life, I’m sparing yours. Now we’re even.
You’re blaming innocent people for something that happened 145 years ago.
We’re predators, Elena. We hunt, we stalk. It’s often more exciting as the kill.
Everywhere that I go, pain and death follow. Damon follows. No more.
You could always just leave, find another town to turn into your own Gas 'n Sip.
Damon has no regard for human life. He enjoys inflicting pain on others.
All I can remember is hating you. There may been a time when that was different, but your choices have erased that.
I don't hurt people. I don't do that. I'm the good brother.
The blood brings out what's inside of me. If you think any differently, you're an idiot.
If I just give myself over to the blood, I can make that pain stop. Every day, I fight that.
I have no sense of Damon humor.
[voiceover]: I thought that there was hope, that somewhere deep inside, something in Damon was still human. Normal. But I was wrong. There’s nothing human left in Damon, no good, no kindness, no love. Only a monster who must be stopped.
I'm really sorry that it won't be of any help with your diabolical plan: the sequel.
What do you mean? I’m perfectly safe. I have Damon, the self-serving psychopath on my side.
Your choices have erased anything good about you.
They are people, Damon. She's not a puppet, she doesn't exist for your amusement, for you to feed on whenever you want to.
The beauty of you in there and me out here ... is that I can walk away.
Everything you know, and every belief you know is about to change. Are you ready for that?
I've been 17 years old since 1864.
What Damon wants, Damon usually gets.
I really liked you better when you hated everybody.
Alcohol, it takes the edge off.
You have to beg the sober me, the drunk me there’s no begging necessary.
Even in our death you only feel shame.
Every single person that’s been hurt, every single person that has died is because of me.
I made a choice, Elena, because of that choice a lot of people were hurt.
It hurts me. It hurts me knowing what I’ve done and that pain is with me all of the time. Every day I just think that if I can give myself over to the blood I can make that pain stop. It would be that easy. And every day I fight that. And I’m so terrified that one day I’m not going to want to fight that anymore, Elena. The next time I hurt somebody, it could be you.
It’s only real when it comes from your desire to do the right thing for nothing in return. I know that is an entirely foreign concept to you. I completely understand that you wouldn’t get it.
She'll try to break us, and how we respond to that will define us.
I came back to this town to start a life with you. We can't forget to live it.
He waited 145 years only to find out that Katherine couldn’t care less.
The pleasure I'll get of watching you suffer is greater than any pain I'll ever feel.
I think there are a lot of conversations to be had about our future. About the kind of life we can have together.
This is a future memory: it's where your boyfriend whispered to you that he loved you.
You wanna let yourself get killed? That's not heroic. That's tragic.
Hunt. Pray. Kill. It was all I knew.
I'm the one who made him a vampire in the first place. If there's a cure, I owe it to him to find it.
[voiceover] I shouldn't have come home, I know the risk, but I have to know her.
[voiceover] I lost control today. Everything I’ve kept buried inside came rushing to the surface. I’m simply not able to resist her.
[voiceover]: I had a plan, I wanted to change who I was. Create a life of someone new, someone without the past.
[voiceover]: I’m awake for the first time in a long time I feel completely and undeniably wide awake. I welcome the day, because all I know I will see her again.
If I don’t write it down, I’ll forget it. Memories are too... important.
Let them chain me up and drive a stake through my heart, because at least I’ll be free of you.
Do you wanna know what I would write? ‘I met a girl, we talked, it was epic. Then the sun came up and reality set in.’ All this, is reality, right here.
Katherine is dead. And you hate me because you loved her.... and that, my brother, is your humanity.
Salem witches are heroic examples of individualism and non-conformity.
[voiceover]: There must be a shred of humanity left inside my brother. Somewhere, I keep hoping. But how do I make him see it? How do I protect her?
[voiceover]: The real animal is still out there, waiting for me. Challenging me to fight back, to stop him. But how do I stop a monster without becoming one myself.
[voiceover]: I did what I had to do, to protect Elena, to protect everyone. Yes, Damon, the headline reads, ‘Deadly beast captured.’ All is well in Mystic Falls.
If you're going to dump me, I figure you should at least know who you're dumping. Let's start with Katherine. She had this perfect olive skin. She had this perfect laugh. She was also impatient, impulsive. Enter Damon. He claims he was with her first. I don't know. I do know I did some things I'm not proud of. My biggest regret is not being able to make things right before she died. I miss her, but I'm not crippled.
Everything you know, and every belief you know is about to change. Are you ready for that?
We choose our own path. Our values and our actions, they define who we are.
Elena is warm and kind and caring and selfless and it's real. When I'm around her, I completely forget where I am.
You saved my life, I’m sparing yours. Now we’re even.
You’re blaming innocent people for something that happened 145 years ago.
We’re predators, Elena. We hunt, we stalk. It’s often more exciting as the kill.
Everywhere that I go, pain and death follow. Damon follows. No more.
You could always just leave, find another town to turn into your own Gas 'n Sip.
Damon has no regard for human life. He enjoys inflicting pain on others.
All I can remember is hating you. There may been a time when that was different, but your choices have erased that.
I don't hurt people. I don't do that. I'm the good brother.
The blood brings out what's inside of me. If you think any differently, you're an idiot.
If I just give myself over to the blood, I can make that pain stop. Every day, I fight that.
I have no sense of Damon humor.
[voiceover]: I thought that there was hope, that somewhere deep inside, something in Damon was still human. Normal. But I was wrong. There’s nothing human left in Damon, no good, no kindness, no love. Only a monster who must be stopped.
I'm really sorry that it won't be of any help with your diabolical plan: the sequel.
What do you mean? I’m perfectly safe. I have Damon, the self-serving psychopath on my side.
Your choices have erased anything good about you.
They are people, Damon. She's not a puppet, she doesn't exist for your amusement, for you to feed on whenever you want to.
The beauty of you in there and me out here ... is that I can walk away.
Everything you know, and every belief you know is about to change. Are you ready for that?
I've been 17 years old since 1864.
What Damon wants, Damon usually gets.
I really liked you better when you hated everybody.
Alcohol, it takes the edge off.
You have to beg the sober me, the drunk me there’s no begging necessary.
Even in our death you only feel shame.
Every single person that’s been hurt, every single person that has died is because of me.
I made a choice, Elena, because of that choice a lot of people were hurt.
It hurts me. It hurts me knowing what I’ve done and that pain is with me all of the time. Every day I just think that if I can give myself over to the blood I can make that pain stop. It would be that easy. And every day I fight that. And I’m so terrified that one day I’m not going to want to fight that anymore, Elena. The next time I hurt somebody, it could be you.
It’s only real when it comes from your desire to do the right thing for nothing in return. I know that is an entirely foreign concept to you. I completely understand that you wouldn’t get it.
She'll try to break us, and how we respond to that will define us.
I came back to this town to start a life with you. We can't forget to live it.
He waited 145 years only to find out that Katherine couldn’t care less.
The pleasure I'll get of watching you suffer is greater than any pain I'll ever feel.
I think there are a lot of conversations to be had about our future. About the kind of life we can have together.
This is a future memory: it's where your boyfriend whispered to you that he loved you.
You wanna let yourself get killed? That's not heroic. That's tragic.
Hunt. Pray. Kill. It was all I knew.
I'm the one who made him a vampire in the first place. If there's a cure, I owe it to him to find it.
Vampire Diaries: Elena Gilbert
[voiceover] Dear Diary: Today will be different. It has to be. I will smile and it will be believable. My smile will say, 'I'm fine. Thank you. Yes. Much better.' I will no longer be the girl who lost her parents. I will start fresh. Be someone new. It's the only way I'll make it through.
[voiceover]: Dear Diary, I made it through the day. I must of said, ‘I’m fine. Thanks.’ at least 37 times. And I didn’t mean it once, but no one notices. When someone asks ‘How are you,’ they really don’t want an answer.
[voiceover]: Dear Diary, I couldn’t of been more wrong. I thought I could smile and nod my way through it, pretend that everything will be okay. Without the pain, [Elena and Stefan] someone alive. [Elena] But its not that easy, the bad things stay with you [Stefan] they follow you. You can’t escape them, as much as you want to. [Elena] All you can do is be ready for the good, so when it comes you can invite it in, because you need it. I need it.
[voiceover]: Dear diary, this morning is different. There’s change, I can sense it, feel it. For once, I don’t regret the day before it begins. I will see him again. For the first time in a long time, I feel good.
When you lose someone it stays with you. Always reminding you how easy it is to get hurt.
I get it. Complicated brother. Check. Complicate ex. Check. Too complicated to even start dating. Check.
We met. We talked, and it was epic. But then to sun came up and reality set in.
I would write, ‘Dear diary, today I convinced myself that it’s okay to give up, don’t take risks. Stick with the status quo. No drama. Now is just not the time.’ But my reasons aren’t reasons, they’re excuses. All I’m doing is hiding from the truth and the truth is, I’m scared Stefan. I’m scared that if I let myself be happy for you, one moment, that the world is just gonna come crashing down and I don’t know if I can survive that.
You’re the mystery guy, and I like that. But with mystery comes secrets.
There's more to me than just gloomy grave yard girl.
I burden you with all of my drama, and I want you to do the same.
Trust is earned. I can’t just magically hand it over.
I’m not going to be one of those girls whose world stops spinning because of a guy.
[voiceover]: I tried, I want so much to make things right but every instinct in my body is telling me to be careful. What you don’t know can hurt you.
I want so much to make things right but every instinct in my body is telling me to be careful. What you don't know can hurt you.
A simple 'I didn't kill my brother' text would have sufficed.
I don't wanna talk about my future, Stefan. Because everything you're saying makes it perfectly clear you aren't gonna be in it.
If you walk away, it's for you. Because I know what I want. Stefan, I love you.
You are so teaching me how to hand-jive.
You're a powerful witch goddess. Seize the day, Brumhilda.
You'd be surprised what Stefan can accomplish when he puts his mind to it.
So, she's a vampire... with issues.
Only one of us was around when dance was invented.
You're not exactly innocent. You've made it your life mission to make him miserable.
[voiceover]: Dear diary, I’m not a believer. People are born, they grow old and then they die. That’s the world we live in. There’s no magic, no mysticism, no immortality. There is nothing that defies rational thought. People are supposed to be who they say they are and not lie or hide their true self. It’s not possible. I’m not a believer. I can’t be. But how can I deny what’s right in front of me? Someone who never grows old, never gets hurt, someone who changes in ways that can’t be explained, girls bitten, bodies drained of blood...
I’m not blaming you Damon. I’ve accepted the fact that you’re a self-serving psychopath with no redeeming qualities.
Some things could matter again.
I think there's something he doesn't want me to know, which makes me wanna know all the more.
If you mean me no harm, then you'll go.
When you Google vampire, you get a world of fiction. What’s the reality?
I want you to tell him that Vicki left town, and she’s not coming back. That he shouldn’t look for her or worry about her. He’s gonna miss her but it’s for the best.
A part of me wishes that I could forget too. Forget meeting you, finding out what you are, and everything that has happened since. Because I don’t want it to be like this. I don’t want to feel like this. But I can’t. With everything that’s happened, I can’t lose the way I feel about you.
Don’t pretend to care. I know you’re gloating inside.
Time out, remember, for five minutes. Well that five minutes is gonna need a beer.
Trust breeds trust. You have to give it to get it.
About what, Isabel? My vampire birth mother who’s related to my vampire ancestor Katherine who screwed over your vampire brother? Nah, haven’t thought about it at all.
You’d think that for someone who was around when the car was invented, you’d have one.
Damon gets what he wants as usual no matter who he hurts in the process.
You’re totally that drunk high school guy at parties sneaking booze.
Don’t pretend like you don’t care.
The night that my parents died, I blew off family night so that I could go to some party. I ended up getting stranded and they had to come pick me up. That’s why we ended up in the car at Wickery Bridge. And that’s why they died. Our actions are what set things in motion but we have to live with that.
Thank you... For being such a monumental disappointment. Keeps the real memory of my real mother in tack.
I have enough problems with the family I care about.
He doesn't want to feel, he wants to be hated. It's just easier that way. He got his wish. I hate him, Stefan.
I'm human. I have to do human stuff. Otherwise, I'm going to go crazy.
Friends don't manipulate friends. They help each other.
I hate fighting with you, even when it's fake.
What you did for Caroline's mom? That's the Damon who was my friend.
It's you and me, Stefan. Always.
There's Damon and whoever Damon is using, and those people always end up dead.
It must be painful to desiccate and mummify. I can't even imagine.
Normal people don’t have chaperones or bodyguards or babysitters.
It seems surreal, like we weren’t meant to get to the normal part.
I don't want to be saved. Not if it means Klaus is gonna kill every person I love.
I don't question why everyone tries so hard to save me. You shouldn't question why I try so hard to save everyone else.
You may be my father, but I am never gonna be your daughter.
It's gonna be a girls' night. Maybe Katherine can join us.
Witches are supposed to maintain the balance of nature. It's your duty to them. To keep this curse sealed.
Movie night is supposed to be a distraction. Tomorrow we can return to our regularly scheduled drama.
[voiceover]: Dear Diary, I made it through the day. I must of said, ‘I’m fine. Thanks.’ at least 37 times. And I didn’t mean it once, but no one notices. When someone asks ‘How are you,’ they really don’t want an answer.
[voiceover]: Dear Diary, I couldn’t of been more wrong. I thought I could smile and nod my way through it, pretend that everything will be okay. Without the pain, [Elena and Stefan] someone alive. [Elena] But its not that easy, the bad things stay with you [Stefan] they follow you. You can’t escape them, as much as you want to. [Elena] All you can do is be ready for the good, so when it comes you can invite it in, because you need it. I need it.
[voiceover]: Dear diary, this morning is different. There’s change, I can sense it, feel it. For once, I don’t regret the day before it begins. I will see him again. For the first time in a long time, I feel good.
When you lose someone it stays with you. Always reminding you how easy it is to get hurt.
I get it. Complicated brother. Check. Complicate ex. Check. Too complicated to even start dating. Check.
We met. We talked, and it was epic. But then to sun came up and reality set in.
I would write, ‘Dear diary, today I convinced myself that it’s okay to give up, don’t take risks. Stick with the status quo. No drama. Now is just not the time.’ But my reasons aren’t reasons, they’re excuses. All I’m doing is hiding from the truth and the truth is, I’m scared Stefan. I’m scared that if I let myself be happy for you, one moment, that the world is just gonna come crashing down and I don’t know if I can survive that.
You’re the mystery guy, and I like that. But with mystery comes secrets.
There's more to me than just gloomy grave yard girl.
I burden you with all of my drama, and I want you to do the same.
Trust is earned. I can’t just magically hand it over.
I’m not going to be one of those girls whose world stops spinning because of a guy.
[voiceover]: I tried, I want so much to make things right but every instinct in my body is telling me to be careful. What you don’t know can hurt you.
I want so much to make things right but every instinct in my body is telling me to be careful. What you don't know can hurt you.
A simple 'I didn't kill my brother' text would have sufficed.
I don't wanna talk about my future, Stefan. Because everything you're saying makes it perfectly clear you aren't gonna be in it.
If you walk away, it's for you. Because I know what I want. Stefan, I love you.
You are so teaching me how to hand-jive.
You're a powerful witch goddess. Seize the day, Brumhilda.
You'd be surprised what Stefan can accomplish when he puts his mind to it.
So, she's a vampire... with issues.
Only one of us was around when dance was invented.
You're not exactly innocent. You've made it your life mission to make him miserable.
[voiceover]: Dear diary, I’m not a believer. People are born, they grow old and then they die. That’s the world we live in. There’s no magic, no mysticism, no immortality. There is nothing that defies rational thought. People are supposed to be who they say they are and not lie or hide their true self. It’s not possible. I’m not a believer. I can’t be. But how can I deny what’s right in front of me? Someone who never grows old, never gets hurt, someone who changes in ways that can’t be explained, girls bitten, bodies drained of blood...
I’m not blaming you Damon. I’ve accepted the fact that you’re a self-serving psychopath with no redeeming qualities.
Some things could matter again.
I think there's something he doesn't want me to know, which makes me wanna know all the more.
If you mean me no harm, then you'll go.
When you Google vampire, you get a world of fiction. What’s the reality?
I want you to tell him that Vicki left town, and she’s not coming back. That he shouldn’t look for her or worry about her. He’s gonna miss her but it’s for the best.
A part of me wishes that I could forget too. Forget meeting you, finding out what you are, and everything that has happened since. Because I don’t want it to be like this. I don’t want to feel like this. But I can’t. With everything that’s happened, I can’t lose the way I feel about you.
Don’t pretend to care. I know you’re gloating inside.
Time out, remember, for five minutes. Well that five minutes is gonna need a beer.
Trust breeds trust. You have to give it to get it.
About what, Isabel? My vampire birth mother who’s related to my vampire ancestor Katherine who screwed over your vampire brother? Nah, haven’t thought about it at all.
You’d think that for someone who was around when the car was invented, you’d have one.
Damon gets what he wants as usual no matter who he hurts in the process.
You’re totally that drunk high school guy at parties sneaking booze.
Don’t pretend like you don’t care.
The night that my parents died, I blew off family night so that I could go to some party. I ended up getting stranded and they had to come pick me up. That’s why we ended up in the car at Wickery Bridge. And that’s why they died. Our actions are what set things in motion but we have to live with that.
Thank you... For being such a monumental disappointment. Keeps the real memory of my real mother in tack.
I have enough problems with the family I care about.
He doesn't want to feel, he wants to be hated. It's just easier that way. He got his wish. I hate him, Stefan.
I'm human. I have to do human stuff. Otherwise, I'm going to go crazy.
Friends don't manipulate friends. They help each other.
I hate fighting with you, even when it's fake.
What you did for Caroline's mom? That's the Damon who was my friend.
It's you and me, Stefan. Always.
There's Damon and whoever Damon is using, and those people always end up dead.
It must be painful to desiccate and mummify. I can't even imagine.
Normal people don’t have chaperones or bodyguards or babysitters.
It seems surreal, like we weren’t meant to get to the normal part.
I don't want to be saved. Not if it means Klaus is gonna kill every person I love.
I don't question why everyone tries so hard to save me. You shouldn't question why I try so hard to save everyone else.
You may be my father, but I am never gonna be your daughter.
It's gonna be a girls' night. Maybe Katherine can join us.
Witches are supposed to maintain the balance of nature. It's your duty to them. To keep this curse sealed.
Movie night is supposed to be a distraction. Tomorrow we can return to our regularly scheduled drama.
Sons of Anarchy
Prospect: Jesus Christ, that man shits more than a grizzly man, that ain’t human.
Opie: When you’re on Clay’s payroll, everything in your hand is a power tool.
Clay: Only two things feel good in the joint, and that’s jerkin’ off and thinkin’ about all the shit you’re gonna do when you get out.
Gemma: Trust me, nothing I say to that crank whore is going to make her feel loved.
Gemma: Dear God, thank you for saving this boy from his murderous junkie mom who cared more about a forty dollar rush than she did her own flesh and blood.
Jax: Brains before Bullets.
Clay: Path of least resistance is always best.
Prospect: It’s really bad karma digging up a grave.
Hale: Anger clouds judgment. It makes us do things we end up regretting, things we can never take back.
Gemma: The only thing worse than everyone knowing is no one knowing.
Jax: The true outlaw finds the balance between the passion in his heart and the reason in his mind. The solution is always an equal mix of might and right.
Gemma: He’s a ten-day old kid, he needs to be protected.
Prospect: Hey I gotta admit, Clay’s old lady gives me serious M.I.L.F. Chubby.
Gemma: Beretta’s not an old tampon. You don’t just forget it’s in your bag.
Jax: Don’t ever sit on another man’s bike, asshole.
Bobby: A little respect for the fairer sex.
Tig: You fed crystal to a killer Doberman, are you retarded?
Tig: I wanna dunk my balls in your mouth. You’re gonna gag, I’m gonna laugh. We’ll be best friends forever.
Jax: Anarchism stands for the liberation of the human mind from the dominion of religion, the liberation of the human body from the dominion of property, liberation from the shackles and the restraint of government; it stands for a social order based on the free grouping of individuals.
John Teller: First time I read Emma Goldman wasn't in a book. I was sixteen, hiking near the Nevada border. The quote was painted on a wall in red. When I saw those words it was like someone ripped them from the inside of my head. The concept was pure, simple, true, it inspired me, led a rebellious fire, but ultimately I learned the lesson that Goldman, Prudot and the others learned. That true freedom requires sacrifice and pain. Most human beings only think they want freedom. In truth they yearn for the bondage of social order, rigid laws, materialism, the only freedom man really wants, is the freedom to become comfortable.
Cherry: See, good old ladies, they can make or break a club.
Jax: Brothers don’t turn on each other. He did the time, it’s what we do. Opie will never walk away from the club, we both know that, he’s like me, it’s all we know. It’s in our DNA, and if you keep pulling him in the other direction… we’re not the glue Donna, you are.
Gemma: Seniors are all compulsive gamblers, triples our raffle dollars. God Bless Social Security.
ATF Stahl: Tattoos and chivalry, delicious combination.
Clay: What did you do?
Gemma: Same thing you did, nailed some little tart from Nevada.
Clay: All the shit I got coming outta my ears and you go and do this.
Gemma: You should have thought of that before your dick went on a cheerleader hunt.
Clay: I didn't ask her to come here.
Gemma: But she's here.
Clay: Well that's not my fault.
Gemma: And it's not my pussy.
Gemma: If you so much as flash a pretty grin at him, I will shove my foot so far up your bony ass, your cup size will double.
Jax: Do they teach you how to suck a dick in ATF School?
Gemma: Somebody hurts your baby, you never get over it.
Gemma: Bad shit happens to greedy whores.
Unser: Jesus Christ, can you at least pretend that I’m a cop sometimes.
Gemma: You’ve got two choices Tigger, tackle me or tag along.
ATF Stahl: you’re the only that got this ball rollin’ Sparky. You want to play in my backyard or the cow pastures?
Gemma: Jesus is just a guy who cuts my lawn.
Gemma: No truth, no pussy.
Gemma: You love the man. You learn to love the club. You can do that, there’s no truth you can’t handle.
Prospect: It’s actually a crystal ball. Glass means you can see the future of my penis.
Bobby: My point is she's a pornstar, you've got to hit it.
Father Francis: God forgives absolutely. We're the ones who usually can't.
Gemma: Love don't mean shit. Men need to own their pussy. His has been violated. He'll find another. It's what they do.
Tara: Perfect. Serving hand jobs for dessert.
Tara: Trust me, if I keep hanging out with this family, I may be sucking cock to pay my bills, too.
Jax: Porn is a legitimate business.
Stahl: I always thought you were too damn pretty to be a killer.
Prospect: I can feel it. It wants to heal me. It's cool and warm. It's corm... coooorm.
Opie: When you’re on Clay’s payroll, everything in your hand is a power tool.
Clay: Only two things feel good in the joint, and that’s jerkin’ off and thinkin’ about all the shit you’re gonna do when you get out.
Gemma: Trust me, nothing I say to that crank whore is going to make her feel loved.
Gemma: Dear God, thank you for saving this boy from his murderous junkie mom who cared more about a forty dollar rush than she did her own flesh and blood.
Jax: Brains before Bullets.
Clay: Path of least resistance is always best.
Prospect: It’s really bad karma digging up a grave.
Hale: Anger clouds judgment. It makes us do things we end up regretting, things we can never take back.
Gemma: The only thing worse than everyone knowing is no one knowing.
Jax: The true outlaw finds the balance between the passion in his heart and the reason in his mind. The solution is always an equal mix of might and right.
Gemma: He’s a ten-day old kid, he needs to be protected.
Prospect: Hey I gotta admit, Clay’s old lady gives me serious M.I.L.F. Chubby.
Gemma: Beretta’s not an old tampon. You don’t just forget it’s in your bag.
Jax: Don’t ever sit on another man’s bike, asshole.
Bobby: A little respect for the fairer sex.
Tig: You fed crystal to a killer Doberman, are you retarded?
Tig: I wanna dunk my balls in your mouth. You’re gonna gag, I’m gonna laugh. We’ll be best friends forever.
Jax: Anarchism stands for the liberation of the human mind from the dominion of religion, the liberation of the human body from the dominion of property, liberation from the shackles and the restraint of government; it stands for a social order based on the free grouping of individuals.
John Teller: First time I read Emma Goldman wasn't in a book. I was sixteen, hiking near the Nevada border. The quote was painted on a wall in red. When I saw those words it was like someone ripped them from the inside of my head. The concept was pure, simple, true, it inspired me, led a rebellious fire, but ultimately I learned the lesson that Goldman, Prudot and the others learned. That true freedom requires sacrifice and pain. Most human beings only think they want freedom. In truth they yearn for the bondage of social order, rigid laws, materialism, the only freedom man really wants, is the freedom to become comfortable.
Cherry: See, good old ladies, they can make or break a club.
Jax: Brothers don’t turn on each other. He did the time, it’s what we do. Opie will never walk away from the club, we both know that, he’s like me, it’s all we know. It’s in our DNA, and if you keep pulling him in the other direction… we’re not the glue Donna, you are.
Gemma: Seniors are all compulsive gamblers, triples our raffle dollars. God Bless Social Security.
ATF Stahl: Tattoos and chivalry, delicious combination.
Clay: What did you do?
Gemma: Same thing you did, nailed some little tart from Nevada.
Clay: All the shit I got coming outta my ears and you go and do this.
Gemma: You should have thought of that before your dick went on a cheerleader hunt.
Clay: I didn't ask her to come here.
Gemma: But she's here.
Clay: Well that's not my fault.
Gemma: And it's not my pussy.
Gemma: If you so much as flash a pretty grin at him, I will shove my foot so far up your bony ass, your cup size will double.
Jax: Do they teach you how to suck a dick in ATF School?
Gemma: Somebody hurts your baby, you never get over it.
Gemma: Bad shit happens to greedy whores.
Unser: Jesus Christ, can you at least pretend that I’m a cop sometimes.
Gemma: You’ve got two choices Tigger, tackle me or tag along.
ATF Stahl: you’re the only that got this ball rollin’ Sparky. You want to play in my backyard or the cow pastures?
Gemma: Jesus is just a guy who cuts my lawn.
Gemma: No truth, no pussy.
Gemma: You love the man. You learn to love the club. You can do that, there’s no truth you can’t handle.
Prospect: It’s actually a crystal ball. Glass means you can see the future of my penis.
Bobby: My point is she's a pornstar, you've got to hit it.
Father Francis: God forgives absolutely. We're the ones who usually can't.
Gemma: Love don't mean shit. Men need to own their pussy. His has been violated. He'll find another. It's what they do.
Tara: Perfect. Serving hand jobs for dessert.
Tara: Trust me, if I keep hanging out with this family, I may be sucking cock to pay my bills, too.
Jax: Porn is a legitimate business.
Stahl: I always thought you were too damn pretty to be a killer.
Prospect: I can feel it. It wants to heal me. It's cool and warm. It's corm... coooorm.
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