Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Instant Star: Season Three

Jude: [voiceover] Playing guest star on the show that made you is a surreal mixture of pride and nerves. Pride because you were the original. Nerves because you have to listen to a bunch of strangers reinterpret your music. From emo to punk to Sinatra. Still it's kinda moving to see how my music has inspired others. Inspired them to be me. Maybe even to replace me. There are those nerves again, ones that never really go away.

Jude: So does the big hair hide the devil horns?

Porsia: Okay, Outrageous Rockstars 101. Stolen limos. Putting an octopus in the hotel pool. One time, he did a strip tease outside the Juno's. And I married the guy.

Jude: What's so scary about the real me?
Patsy: More importantly, what's the real you so scared of?

Patsy: You're quivering like a pornstar in church, Jude.

Patsy: I face my fears head on.

Jude: I always end up the freakin' sucker.
Jamie: No, you end up the victim. Jude, who's fault is that? Really?

Jamie: I love you. Maybe it's time to grow up.

Jude: [voiceover] There are three types of people in the world: suckers, victims, and grown-ups. Being a grown-up means you get to choose your own destiny.

Jude: [voiceover] Kurt Cobain once said that punk rock is freedom and the worst crime is faking it. Which is why I posted some not so perfect pictures on my website. So my fans can see the real me. I think it's about time I channeled my inner Sid Viscous. Hello Jude, Rock Goddess. Good-bye Dignity.

Jude: Well nothing says becoming a man like sweet vengeance.

Jude: You're very intense for a thirteen year-old.

Sadie: You had me at 'hormonal'.

Jude: But maybe it's good for my fans to see that I'm not perfect. I'm seventeen. I make mistakes.

Karma: When I look at those photos, I see a talented musician who's not afraid to be real and a tough act to follow. Of course, Jude and I are so different. She's into heavy rifts and punk influences, where I've got a soft spot for power ballads. And I'm a virgin.

Jude: We may not be sinking to her level but we're not kissing her ass either.

Jude: That's because you never change, but I have.

Patsy: I love infiltrating suburbia and scaring the normals but why now?

Patsy: So we are here to collect his cajones.
Jude: We are here to explain to the man that it's not cool to judge women on their sexuality and then we leave.

Mr. Harrison: I mean they never ask Bob Dylan about his sex life.
Jude: Well I sure hope not, the guys like 60.

Patsy: Yeah, I got a pack of smokes and a pat on the butt from my great uncle Sid for my Butt mitzvah.

Karma: My first song is dedicated to my friend Jude Harrison who couldn't be here because of her problem with promiscuity and the bottle.

Patsy: Girl drinks. These rich kids always have the best alcohol. Savages, even their cocktails are virgins.

Patsy: Shouldn't those outfits be in Vegas mounting a mobster.

Kwest: I've got three sisters. I can coordinate blush and lipstick too.

Karma: Seriously, I will cut you.

Jude: Oh that's not virgin talk. Don't worry I got this.

Kwest: You mean the Tommy Code. Where you get what you want or what don't want.

Tommy: I don't want Sadie but she doesn't want you either.

Tommy: Add it up. You're a producer now. And she's an industry groupie.

Sadie: Now you fight for me.

Karma: Everyone else still thinks you're a whore.

Patsy: Dude, you're boob's out.

Jude: I suck and you're the best.

Jude: [voiceover] Ever enter a room and get the feeling that everyone had just been talking about you? Or at least, part of you. Still, when the right person says they have your back, it can drown out the cheers of an entire crowd. And with that, my bad day just got interesting.

Tommy: Besides you're talking to the guy who woke up in the dead center of strawberry fields in Memorial Central Park surrounded by camera clicking tourists, butt naked.

Spiederman: I'm Jude. Oh, look at my bounceful bosom.

Jude: Hold onto your clothes because she likes to rip them off.

Wally: An entire website devoted to Jude's boob and it doesn't even have the money shot.
Spiederman: Try bazongas or the Pointer Sisters.

Jude: I need help with lyrics.
Wally: How about..."Life's a test."
Spied: "But you always do your best."
Kyle: "Exposing your right breast."

Patsy: Is that French for 'remove my pants'?

Karma: Probably in the little boys' room, hiding from you Stalkerina.

Patsy: You're God among men.

Tommy: I handled you.
Jude: I don't need to be handled, thanks.
Tommy: Right because you are so unpossessive and low-maintenance.
Jude: Please. This coming from a guy who calls in sick on bad hair days.
Tommy: Fine, you want the truth. Here it is. I had to beg for this gig. I wanted to try something new. Grow a little, but I guess you are the only one around here that gets to do that.

Jude: You want me to write a song about my boob?

Jude: You want a career? You'll need Tommy producing you.

Jude: You agree to take Tommy back and I'll put you back in the spotlight so fast you'll get a sunburn.

Jude: Friends do friends favors.

Jude: What's the problem, Princess Publicity? You might even get a shot.

Jamie: I would never make you do something that wasn't good for you. Trust me. I love you.

Jude: Can you like wave your arms in the air or something when you're lying?

Tommy: You're a big girl Jude. You don't need rescuing. And neither do I.

Patsy: I'm celebrating. This bird's flying solo like she's meant to.

Jude: Just for the record, I am not high-maintenance, thank you.

Jude: [voiceover] Funny thing about the boy next door, he knows all about the influence of blues on 70s glam rock, and which drummer should be knighted. And nothing to deal with a girl like Patsy. Then again, who could manage Patsy Sewer?

Jude: Patsy needs freedom in the studio, and in a relationship I'm guessing.

Jude: Oh whatever, I remember when you pledge eternal devotion to Cyndi Lauper.

Jamie: I love you as one loves their scary boss.

Patsy: We do it Patsy Sewer style. A. No fluorescent lights. B. No heinous back beats. C. No pants on the man-folk.

Stuart: Patsy should not be on the road or in my liquor cabinet.

Jude: Patsy Sewer doesn't need saving, she needs a friend.

Patsy: Don't talk to me like I'm your pretty pony. There's only one thing you're riding and she's out there answering phones.

Patsy: Well there's one thing you should know about Patsy Sewer. She doesn't run out of shot... of vodka.

Patsy: Oh, sorry. All wiener openings are filled.

Patsy: I got him a crib with a view. I here by dub you Leonard Cohen the Second. C'mon they could be brothers. Me, you, Leonard. Free at last.

Patsy: It's awwwwesome being the person everyone trusts.

Jude: I would have figured you emerged from the womb fully grown and tongue pierced.

Jude: Can you poison this beach with your attitude?

Patsy: So that's it. Love or war? I pick war.

Patsy: Freeeedom. Better than sex.

Patsy: You are so squeaky clean. It's like hanging out with bleach.

Patsy: Why don't you stop trying to save me and work on fixing your own crappy music?

Porsia: You should stop trying to covet things that Tommy owns. Like Sadie's heart.

Jude: She really is a shooting star. Unpredictable, but beautiful.

Jude: [voiceover] Two. Just two. Two words. That's all I'm asking. Two words. That's all I need. "Patsy's fine." Or "She's Okay." Two words. Two...words.

Tommy: Patsy was fearless. Fearless. And funny, and witty, and totally out of control.

Kwest: I don't need a book on how to feel sad.

Iggy: First time I met Patsy, we scaled some rich dude's fence and swam in his pool but naked.
Kyle: First time I met Patsy, she shaved my eyebrows.
Jude: First time I met Patsy, I was arrested.
Spiederman: She used to sneak into the back door of the bakery, steal a few loaves then go down Queens Street, and hand them out to homeless kids.

Jude: We've got to fight for her because she's not here to fight for herself.
Tommy: Patsy gave up the fight when she got behind the wheel stone drunk.
Jude: Wow. You just make Darius look like Mother Teresa.

Karma: Ugh you're that girl? The fixer. Always taking care of everyone to feel useful. Want my advice. Give the boy some space. Guys don't like to let people see their emotions. It makes them feel weak.

Spiederman: Jude, he just broke up with his girlfriend who then died. Talk about intense. That's like breaking up times a million for eternity.

Spiederman: Now have to worry about Patsy's ghost coming around giving us supernatural wedgies.

Jude: [voiceover] Eighteen is big. By the time he was eighteen Mozart had already toured Europe, written his first opera and composed symphony no. 1. By 18, Stevie Wonder had mastered 18 instruments, had four hits and was composing for Motown. As for my 18th birthday, I just want everything to go right.

Tommy: I understand you want to protect your daughter. If I had a daughter I'd never let her date me.

Tommy: The only thing feeling worst than you can't move on, is the moment you realize that you can.

Pagan: I always thought one's music collection is like an autobiography you didn't write.

Sadie: I know he's never going to wake up and say it was me all along. And I know I have to get over him. And I know it's bad to use Kwest to do that, but maybe that's what I gotta do. So save the intervention, please.

Hunter: Revenge is the best revenge.

Hunter: Bingo. Blond, beautiful, and insecure. Just the way you like them.

Jamie: Lately my life's been cloudy with a chance of lame.

Stuart: People say love's complicated. But it's not. Be good to your partner, fight for him, not with him, and above all, be honest.

Jude: [voiceover] The best presents are often secret gifts you give yourself. Special things you've always wanted. So for my 18th birthday, I went all out. I decided to tell the world how I feel about Tommy Quincy. Nothing says 'I love you' like unwrapping your feelings to the world. And nothing says he doesn't like a huge dose of public humiliation.

Kwest: Then do me a favor and just stop talking. Matter of fact, let's not talk until you figure out what you want, or who.

Karma: I told you, the public can't think I have a boyfriend. Nerds, geeks, dorks, they all have to think I'm attainable.

Spiederman: Yeah they also have to believe you're not a self-involved diva.

Jamie: I think my break-through is about to become a full-blown panic attack.

Pagan: Taking stuff out on other people is like the third stage of grief.

Jamie: I don't think there's a Hallmark card that says, "I'm sorry, I blamed you for my girlfriend's death."

Jamie: She's fun, she's compassionate, but doesn't let me get away with anything, from music snobbery to pleated pants. She's willing to try anything once, twice if it scared her the first time. She loves music so much, she cried when she sees an old album in the dollar bin at the gas station. She's just... amazing.

Tommy: That's my M.O. I hurt people, especially the ones I care about. I don't deserve them.

Tommy: Leaving is the one thing I do best.

Jude: Secret relationships, they're not healthy. Trust me.

Pagan: First drafts are pure, and I like trees.

Tommy: Why is it that all the nice ones always fall for me?

Sadie: I guess we think we can fix you. You know, find the heart under all that bad boy.

Kwest: You don't have to say it if you don't feel it and I want you to tell me the truth even if it stinks.

Jude: Sometimes things just happen.

Jude: [voiceover] Some days you feel like singing from the rooftops and other days all you want to do is scream. But today, all I want is maximum R & R. Maybe make a little music while I'm at it.

Jude: Look at me, I look like a dog's breakfast with post-eggs fries.

Karma: Wow, Quincy really shorted out your circuits.

Darius: It's all about Jude Harrison. Ain't no comparison. You try to play her out but no, she's still smashing 'em. Yeah, we top billin' 'em. We still winnin'. G Major is the label and yeah, we still killin'.

Porsia: Sometimes you've got to do what's right for you and take control.

Karma: Guilt is for the little people.

Jude: Despite what you saw back there, Tommy Quincy changed my life. When I met him I was just a kid who won a talent contest, and he help open my soul and let the real music come out. And even though we might not be working together anymore, no one will ever replace him.

Jude: [voiceover] Broken-hearted, me? Please, Broken heart does not go with these boots. Okay, sometimes it's not as easy as it looks. Sometimes you've got to fake it until you make it. After all, they say living well is the best revenge. And looking hot in front of your ex-boyfriend works pretty well, too. Looking like I slaughtered a baby seal, beyond horrific.

Pagan: You're a musician. Some people want you to be an example, others want to make an example of you.

Pagan: What you need to ask yourself is, do I want to be a musician or a legend?

Pagan: A legend takes a stand even if it's unpopular. Speak up or speak out.

Pagan: I've always found it hard to make a statement if you're not saying a word.

Sadie: I'd rather die alone than get help from you.

Jude: Wearing fur and eating meat it's all so neanderthal, don't ya think? Or barbaric.

Kyle: Eating meat is barbaric?
Spiederman: You just insulted the one thing we all believe in.
Wally: And insulted another animal. The neanderthal.

Sadie: You have the cattle ward on your back. And the anti-fur people want your hide.

Tommy: Rats swim.He could turn up in all this chaos and it could be really have to tell.

Darius: You've done all you can do. I know you love being tortured by your past. It's time to let it go, man.

Jude: I'm not that type of famous person. There's a reason why I still live at home. I need to be connected to the people who love me, including my fans.

Karma: When I see something I want, I go after it. You should try it sometime.

Hunter: Do you know what it feels like when a woman you love suffers?

Jude: [voiceover] Tragedy has a way of changing people. Tragedy can make people depressed, angry, or wanna make amends. But there's a flip side to trauma, it can change your perspective. Make you realize what's really important and make you realize what you really want, or who.

Kwest: Do you think I would let your weak left hook ruin a seven year friendship?

Tommy: I'm just happy I didn't destroy your feminine jaw line.

Sadie: You have to close a door before you can open a new one.

Jude: I don't know why it is you do what you do Tommy Quincy, but I forgive you.

Jude: [voiceover] Making choices has never been my strong suit. Only because I'm too terrified to pick. It's the always that worries me. Only thing worse than not being able to make a decision, is having the big ones made for you.

Pagan: I've always believed that music is owned by the people who love it.

Pagan: If you give the music out for free...
Jude: It's useless to those who want to exploit it.

Tommy: I want all of you with me forever. I don't care if you're herding goats, waiting tables, or making music. I just want you to be happy.

Tommy: I would do anything for you, because I love you.

Sadie: You choose what's in your heart, and you know who that is.

Secret Life of the American Teenager: Multiple Characters

Amy: Where did you get condoms?
Ashley: At the store anyone can get them, not like they're illegal.
Amy: Ashley, you are not using condoms!
Ashley: OK now there's some REALLY bad advice!

Amy: I don't know what my father said to you, but I am perfectly capable of speaking for myself!
Ricky: Since when?
Amy: Since I got pregnant! That's when! Since I discovered that I that I am going to have to take charge of another human being's life! You know I might as well start with my own.

Ben: I've already kissed her, but I mean I really want to kiss her. Like a man kisses a woman.
Henry: Yeah. Or like a guy. Kisses a bear. In drag.

Jack: Is everyone going crazy? Is everyone just walking around with their shirts off, 'cause I can walk around with my shirt off too, and I'd probably look a lot better than he did! You see this? This is what a real man looks like!
Grace: Ah, that's it okay? It's over, you're not a man. You're a child.
Ricky: Dude, have SOME dignity!

Grace: Having sex ruined everything for us.
Jack: Not continuing to have sex ruined everything for us.

Bunny: What people are more important than your job?
Ricky: Girls I slept with.

Adrian: Ben, friends don't live together.
Ben: Friends having babies with friends live together.

Leo: There's a lot of joy that comes with being responsible.
Ben: No, there's not.

Amy: I want you.
Ricky: Now?
Amy: Now and forever.

Adrian: Maybe I'll just take the GED like Ashley or something.
Ben: The Good Enough Degree? That's not good enough for my wife.

Adrian: You're the first person who hasn't treated me like I'm going to break.
Betty: Honey, you're already broken. What you went through, I mean it shatters people and you just have to put all the pieces back together again.

George: Nobody's had any privacy since the information highway opened.
Amy: The what?
George: The Internet.

Amy: Safe travels.
Ashley: Safe Sex.

Madison: Hey, your mom let me in.
Lauren: Yeah, well my mom doesn't know you slept with my boyfriend.

Alice: Ben do you not realize this girl's your Fatal Attraction?
Ben: I don't think I'd say she's my Fatal Attraction, she's maybe more my, uh, Basic Instinct.

Ricky: Ben doesn't hate me. He's my friend. Why would he hate me?
Adrian: Are you kidding? You just married the woman he loves.

Lauren: I don't think you're their favorite friend.
Amy: Madison slept with your boyfriend.
Lauren: But she never got pregnant.

Grace: We don't need to spend so much time alone. It's only gonna make us wanna have sex.
Jack: I'm always gonna wanna have sex with you.

Ben: Everybody knows that you slept with Adrian.
Henry: And nobody knows that you slept with Alice...while you were leading Dylan on.

Secret Life of the American Teenager: Minor Characters

You can't truly be in love with someone else until you can find a way to love yourself.

Life is tough, and that’s why it’s good to have someone you love by your side, holding your hand so you can walk away from the rest of the world together.

I don't want to go out with her. I just want to marry her and have children with her.

Jack's Dad: I don't think it was wrong because it was fun. Sex is supposed to be fun. It's also supposed to be reserved for marriage. Because it's so fun, God wouldn't want us to have that much fun too young or with a lot of people. No, that's not right.

Jack's Dad: I think God set up the rules in the first place to protect women from being property.

Jack's dad: Sex is very complicated, but then again it can be very simple.

Jack's dad: Sin is just missing the mark.

Bunny: Don’t let anything come between you and a friend. Ben is your friend. Real friends are hard to find.

Marshall: Oh, that's right. I'm a Christian. So first, I will smite you, and then I will pummel you. Go home.

Kathleen Bowman: There are no secrets in high school.

Madison’s dad: That’s your argument? That your boyfriend should live in your room because it’s better than doing drugs?

Bunny: If you dance, you pay the piper.

Toby [to Amy]: I was just trying to impress you with my lack of social skills so you'd think I was perfect company for the dark one.

Ms. O'Malley: I don't care if you and Amy have a baby or not, girls like a little romance.

Adrian's Doctor: You're trying to have a baby to save a marriage you never wanted in the first place.

Jesse: There's plenty of food. And condoms. You know in case anyone gets lucky.

Dylan's Dad [to Ben]: You're not entirely harmless unless you're neutered.

Ethan [to Amy]: You know sometimes when people tell me what to do I find they are telling me what they think they should do. It's called transference.

Bunny [to Dylan]: I didn't know you were a ginger. It didn't show up on the security camera.

Daniel [to Grace]: It seems to me you're more than a little fickle so excuse me for not just jumping back into bed with you.

Toby: Secrets sound better than lies.

Bunny [to Ricky]: You're supposed to ask the girl to marry you in private and get married in public you dummy.

Dylan [to Ben]: You're criminally neurotic.

Kathy: Most of all, I miss my virginity.

Kathleen Bowman: Sex isn't really great every time you have sex.

Dylan [to Ben]: Friends are more important than anything else, so I'm sorry if I came between you and yours.

Secret Life of the American Teenager: Tom

Dad is okay. He's probably playing golf with Jesus.

Tom: I love you Adrian. And because I love you I have to say this- I think you should go ahead with the wedding.

Secret Life of the American Teenager: Reuben

I'm just really uncomfortable with you having sex with your boyfriend while I'm in the house.

Secret Life of the American Teenager: Ricky

I happen to know a little something about women. They don't want an offer. They want to be loved. And you do to. You walked out on the best thing you could of had. And you went looking for it over and over again. Don't you come over here and hurt Adrianne again, because you've already hurt her enough by not being around her for her whole life.

Stop with the 'let'. There's no 'let' in a man's language. Start with the initiative. It's what makes a man a man. Initiative, okay?

Lots of people don't have normal lives, I don't.

They tell lies to make life more interesting when the truth would probably be more interesting than the lie.

Let's stop acting like victims and act like adults.

We're all too young to be getting married and having babies.

We gotta be men here Ben. We gotta admit we made mistakes and want to change our minds.

So that's your excuse now for not having sex with me? You haven't finished your homework?

Ben, this is a chick fight and chick fights are dangerous.

I would not go away, unless you came with me. You and John.

Let's just go to some neutral territory where we can just be with each other without feeling like we're surrounded by the past.

It's too soon to leave Adrian. You know how you know it's too soon? You had to get drunk to do it.

I wanna leave trouble alone and more than that, I want you to leave trouble alone.

I promise graduation will be special with just the two of us.

He had to learn not to be like the wicked King and Queen when he grew up.

I didn't just give you this ring to mark my territory.

Okay at this point I think I'll venture a guess, defensive sex? You're making yourself more available so I won't fool around with some other woman.

It's not like I have anything to do because college is so much easier than high school.

You know I really did want a coffee, but I didn't want to talk to you because you're a pain in the ass.

Secret Life of the American Teenager: Jack

Sounds like your vagina's really busy, maybe I should come back later.

I used to ride my bike to go get tampons.

Not doing anything doesn’t mean not making out. We’re just not going to have sex.

He's 20 years old and he's not interested in any kind of sexual relationship with you? C'mon he's lying, he's just trying to seduce you.

Let's put it this way. The first half I was playing offense, the second half I was playing defense and I should've called it off at halftime.

Grace I love you and when your mom gets back I'm gonna be all out of excuses for living at your house.

Life is like that, it hits you where it hurts. But put a few ice packs on it and you'll get through it.

You didn't just tell me I could come over, you told me I could sleep over and have lots of sex with you.

Can't a person be in love with two people at the same time?

Secret Life of the American Teenager: Henry

A woman can't be smart and have big breasts.

You know what not everyone is as lucky as you are some people get stuck into relationships they don't wannabe in just because there to scared to let go of it and I don't wanna be like that... I'm too young to be like that and if I’m never as lucky as you.... if I never find someone... if I never fall in love then at least I will have tried to get what you have.

Dreams are like movies, sometimes they mean something, sometimes they don't.

Secret Life of the American Teenager: George

Is that what they do at band camp? Have sex?

Yeah, that's how we had the girls, great sex....Amy was conceived on a surfboard and Ashley was conceived on a grave at midnight!

If anyone says anything to you, I'll stick a rocket in their pocket and send them to the moon!

Get out your dream catcher cause your dreaming again.

I know a Weenie Man, He owns a Weenie Stand. He owns everything, Hot Dogs on Down. Someday, I'll be his wife, His little Weenie Wife, O how I love that hot Dog Man!

Don't be stupid Jack. Never drink alone.

That’s what sex is for, making babies.

Don’t have sex. You won’t like it. It’s not fun. Just take my word for it.

Just because you and grant have all the working parts doesn’t mean they should be working together.

Where were your boundaries last year at band camp?

Birth control is an option. School is not an option.

You cannot date your sister's... IMPREGNATOR!!!

I'm unflappable, you can't flap me.

I have to be good cop to your bad cop!

It's so romantic. Go to your boyfriend's apartment to have sex with him, then get up and leave him and your son and drive home late at night.

Hi, nice to meet you. I've heard a lot about you but I hadn't heard that you're hot.

She can carve a small handgun out of a bar of soap. I could fall in love with this woman!

Love? You're too young to know what love is.

It's funny how one little argument can destroy the entire universe.

You know how much you love John? I love you more than 17 times that much. And no one is gonna treat my little girl like that.

Nobody's had any privacy since the information highway opened.

You're not old enough to have your own apartment and your old family.

I like babies, they don't talk, they don't have opinions, and they look at their parents like they're magic or something.

It's funny how one little argument can destroy the entire universe.

You know maybe it's family dinners that drive kids to drink and do drugs.

You wanna be a part of this family, you learn to keep a secret!

If there's nothing wrong with what you're doing then there's no need to sneak around.

Secret Life of the American Teenager: Grace

I'm not a poster girl for virginity. I’m not some spokesman for abstinence.

Those feelings come from love. And God is love. And I'm sure that God is okay with me having sex with Jack.

It was fun. Sinfully fun.

I think it's that time of the month. I think I just got my monthly visitor. My Aunt Flo is in the house. The painters are here. I fell off the roof.

I’m not responsible for your bad feelings about yourself, you are. Maybe if you didn’t have sex with every guy you know, you wouldn’t hate yourself.

You are exactly right about that! Forgiveness belongs to God, so I'm forgetting what happened between you and Jack I have the power to do that; forget and let go.

But I imagine you need help right now; with your dad marrying an internet prostitute.

Maybe if you didn't have sex with every guy you know, you'd feel better about yourself.

Maybe "being there" is what a child needs, but it's different from what a woman needs.

I do have one regret. I regret that we waited the whole summer to have sex.

It's not my fault Adrian didn't have any friends to invite to her shower!

I am like Betty...the old Betty.

You can't go from me to a slut.

This is totally high school. If I'm going over to your apartment, I'd like to look more like a woman.

You don't do desperate. You're Adrian.

I saw you with that witch last night. It looks like she really put a spell on you.

I can't believe he was telling us not to have sex and he was having sex with someone other than my mother.

I just don't believe in the whole happily ever after thing with you.

Let me guess- you're settling for oral sex and other things when what you really want is a real relationship.

Oh now I get it, you're taking down the wallpaper in my kitchen because you wanna have sex with my mother!

You just never know when the last time you're gonna talk to someone is gonna be the last time you're gonna talk to someone.

Secret Life of the American Teenager: Betty

You can't marry someone you're not sexually compatible with.

Secret Life of the American Teenager: Ben

Do I wanna talk about a mistake I made with sex to a hooker?

You still have a thing for Ricky ticky rum pum pum pum?

I wish she had killed someone. That I would admire. Especially if it was someone horrible, like Hitler.

We're under doctors orders to grow up.

I didn't know Ricky's mom got...sprung.

I'm barely 17 and I have a china pattern.

He's the guy that all the girls want and you got him.

I'm 17 Amy and I'm about to be a husband and a father. I don't want to be a husband or a father.

You are so selfish. I never even wanted to marry you, I never even wanted to have sex with you in the first place. Every little ounce of pain and sadness has been because of you!

Amy loved me and I threw it all away for one night with you.

Apparently I come from a long line of alcoholics.

What if you had gotten pregnant again? What if you had somehow managed to seduce me and get pregnant again like you planned? Would you still be trying to kick me out of our condo?

I take it you couldn't find anyone to play with so you came home?

I don't think the point is for it to be okay and for us to get over it. It's for us to live with it.

I don't want to talk. I've had a bad morning. For the past 8 weeks I've had a bad morning followed by a bad night. I can't talk anymore today, okay, just leave me alone.

I'm not the mentor type. I'm a senior in high school and I'm divorced. Who needs that kind of mentor?

You know how that works, when something is absolutely forbidden it only makes me want to do it more.

I'm too old to be sent to my room. I'm divorced, I had a child, I'm 18, I'm an adult.

He wasn't supposed to try and trick you, he was supposed to try and trick your parents.

Every relationship I've ever been in was just to kill time until my turn came around again. And it will, I know it will.

Have a second wedding but just know that I'll be at the back of the church and if you decide to run, I'll be waiting for you.

Secret Life of the American Teenager: Alice

Maybe it's her breasts, they're huge.

Ben there's no 3 of us. We're going to be taking turns with you. We're sharing custody.

You're all right? Henry slept with your wife and you're all right?

I don't want to be a whore. I want to be your whore.

I would never have sex with a girl, they're dramatic, they're emotional, they're fickle. It would be like having sex with myself.

Secret Life of the American Teenager: Adrian

You are a good example for every girl who wants to wait to have sex before they're married.

Sex is not a competition. You can't keep Jack by just having sex with him.

You should of gone back to your hotel so I could have sex with my boyfriend, because you're never gonna get what he just said out of your head.

We're not enough of a couple to go to a funeral together?

I don't deserve to be with a guy that's not serious about me.

If we know that we're never going to be married, then why be together?

I'd be lying to myself if I had sex with you right now and told myself it was okay. I'd be lying to myself if I said I was comfortable having sex with you just because I'm feeling sorry for you.

It's normal. Normal teenagers have sex.

I'd rather be the one you cheat with, than the one you cheat on.

You're a bad boy, and I'm a bad girl. That's why you belong with me.

I'm not jealous of some prissy little virgin who thinks that she's better than everyone else! So you know what? Go do whatever you want. After all, we really aren't even friends. We're just bed buddies.

I’m more dangerous than fearless. The thing we have in common is that neither one of us doesn’t care what anyone else thinks.

I'm sure the four of us will somehow figure out a way to have our kids competing with each other.

I heard you asked Ricky to marry you. Nice one girlfriend, good luck with that non-traditional approach.
Don't ask him, just do it. Stay over one night and then never go home.

You win, you're moving in with Ricky to an apartment over the butcher shop. And I'm marrying Ben...whose family owns the butcher shop.

I'll tell you what's wrong! I used to be the sexiest girl in this high school and I don't know if I am anymore.

You know the quiet ones will always surprise you.

She's just a baby, an innocent little baby, who's taking care of her?

Going back to the way things were, seems like, I don't know, like not honoring my little girl.

A tough girl like me doesn't know how to be hurt.

Look Grace, stop saying you're gonna marry every guy you have sex with to justify it.

I'm not letting you go. We're married and I love you.

Study this big mouth.

He kissed me and it was powerful and hypnotic.

Best friends are hard to come by. You should forgive him.

You could be a little more, I don't know, considerate, respectful, appropriately sad or even appropriately happy.

Please don't tell me you're transferring schools to be with that pot smoking skank!

Just because you were thinking about something doesn't mean you were ever really going to do it.

People talking about me being gay is like people talking about Ricky being gay.

There's just no voice for the LMNOP community.

You know Ben, he likes us bad girls.

You're like the boy who cried wolf too many times.

Jealousy uses a lot more energy.

Oh I forgot, my ex husband called you a pervert.

Secret Life of the American Teenager: Anne

Well I'd rather be pregnant than be fat.

I love you but mind your own teenage business.

Don't glamorized teen pregnancy. It's not an asset to be able to hide a pregnancy.

I doubt that God punishes people as nearly as much as people punish each other and themselves.

I know you do, Ben. And so do I; and I love you for loving Amy. But you know, the funny thing about love is it's not just about feeling. It's about doing. It's about doing the right thing always for the person that you love. And that's what I'm doing right now, Amy. I'm coming here to try to make you realize the awesome responsibility of taking care of a baby and raising a child...Did you really think that getting married would solve anything?

It won't change anything. You're still going to have a baby; Ricky's baby. Look I'm on your side here, Amy. I'm on your side. I'm not being mean by trying to get you to face reality, but a baby is coming. And it's not just enough to have a plan. You have to act on that plan. So what is your plan, Amy, Ben? Look I want to help you but I can't help you if you don't talk to me. And there are no easy answers. You either get a job, go to school, and get someone to help with child care, or you think seriously about adoption. But whatever choice you make it has to be what is right for your child, Amy, not just about what is easiest for you. You can't run away from this. You have to face the fact that you're halfway through your pregnancy and the baby's going to be here before you know it.

The whole world is high school.

You got the business, I got the house, you gave me the house, I own it, you're just living here.

What says I don't really wanna be married, but I had a baby in high school, so I got married, and now we're getting married again because my mother wants me to even though she's gay and can't find a date?

Secret Life of the American Teenager: Ashley

Wow, I can hardly wait until I have a baby so we can speak the same language again. "Grossly inappropriate"?

What are you? A girl now?

Customers in your store heard I was having sex? And how would they know I was having sex? The only person who would know is me... and my lover.

I know everything...and I have condoms.

I'm fine with people knowing that Amy's pregnant, I can stand it with people knowing that dad was having an affair, but what I can't stand is people knowing we're poor! That is the ultimate humiliation!

I really don’t care what anyone else thinks; as long as I feel like I’m doing is the right thing.

I don't want to cause trouble, sometimes I just do.

After the world collapses, the survivors start over again.

I thought I'd be used to being invisible by now.

What am I supposed to do? Stay here until I get pregnant too?

It's very stressful being around this family, it saps up all my energy.

Secret Life of the American Teenager: Amy

Mom, you're not 15, you can't hide a pregnancy as long as I did.

I'm missing out on everything, everyone else is doing. I feel like Old Mother Hubbard. I feel and I look like Old Mother Hubbard. The only good thing that came out of all this is boobs.

Does anyone really know when they’re about to make a mistake? If they knew they were going to make a mistake, then they wouldn’t make the mistake.

Mom, I'm pregnant and you're worried I'm gonna use bad words?

Because I'm not even sure if it was sex. It wasn't fun and definitely not like you see in the movies, you know all romantic and stuff.

When someone likes you, you can't help but like them back.

Maybe fate just intervened.

I think we'll be different things to each other at different times.

Adrian Boykewich. What kind of name is that? I'll tell you what kind of name it is, it's a name where the two names don't belong together because the two people don't belong together.

Sometimes doing the right thing doesn't always make a person happy Ben.

If you want me in your apartment and me in your bed, then you need to get a new bed.

Some things you have to learn on your own.

She's a skank! A straight-up skank!

I always want more. Or better or different than what I have.

It'll be fun to do something more high school and less adult for once.

Quit telling me what to do Old Man Ricky.

Look I don't mind suffering because I had a baby when I shouldn't have. But I do mind suffering because you two had a baby when you shouldn't have.

If your life isn't what you want it to be then do something about it. Stop being who you are and be who you wanna be.

We're all grown up now and Grace still has to have her mommy call my daddy because I said something mean to her?

Being a mother is my thing. And not getting to be a teenager is my other thing.

Have you learned nothing from me? You cannot have a baby and lead a normal life.

It's important to have friends. Girlfriends. Not just a boyfriend or guy friends, girlfriends.

The power of suggestion is really strong.