Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Leap Year

Anna: I'm a stager. I stage apartments for realtors. I transform ordinary spaces into something special. Most people don't know what it is they want until I show it to them and so many places need my help. Not the Davenport, of course.

Anna: Come on Charlie. You know it's not about luck, it's about preparation.

There's only one reason why people go into Duprisco's. You're going to have a better engagement ring than me, you big jerk!

Declan: Dublin is the city of chances and cheats, and backstabbin' snakes. It's where the waste of humanity collects, poisoned this family tree. I wouldn't drive you to Dublin in the life of me.

Declan: Oh, isn't yourself Louie? Can I give you a hand into the car Louie? She named her suitcase, she's a crack pot.

Declan: That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard.
Anna: No it isn't.
Declan: Yeah it is.
Anna: No, it's a tradition. It's a romantic tradition.
Declan: It's a day for desperate women trying to trap themselves on a man who clearly doesn't want to get married. You gotta know if your man wants to propose, he'd done it already. Fact!

Anna: Are you crazy? You, know nothing about me, or Jeremy. You know what you are? You're a cynic. You're a lonely, bitter, cynic.
Declan: Better that than an idiot. 'Leap year, diddly-yi. Will you marry me, diddly-yi. I've got a suitcase called Louie, diddly-yi.'

In Dublin's fair city, where the girls are so pretty.

Declan: If your house was on fire, sixty seconds, what would you take? Would it be the chihuahua on the duvet?

Declan: Well, hundreds of years ago there was this beautiful girl called Grianne. Now, she was promised to marriage to this fellow named Fionn. He was kinda a cranky old war lord, old enough to be her father, well old enough to be her grandfather. Therefore, ploop, she wasn't in love with him. Anyway, on the night of their betrothal, whom did she meet but a handsome, young warrior Diarmuid. They fell madly in love at first sight, but what can she do? Well, she slips a sleeping potion in everyone's drinks and the pair of them run off together across the Shannon. Fionn wakes, where's Grianne, gone. Well, he goes mental, takes his army and heads off in hot pursuit, but it was the people, the people in the villages of Ireland, they took pity on Diarmuid and Grianne. They hid them in the forests, in the barns, in the castles, where they sleep one night and then they move on. Sleep was all they did, because Diarmuid, the good man that he was, was suffering the old guilt of two timing Fionn, out of respect for him, penance, you know, take it any further. Then they came to this castle, and this view. To such a view, unable to resist its beauty, here in this place, they consummated their love.

Declan: Heads I win, tails you lose.

Anna: I washing, in the shower. Getting mud off with hot water. Got a bruise there, got a bruise there.

Declan: Here's an idea: why don't you stop trying to control everything in the known universe? It's dinner. Have a little faith. It'll all work out.

Anna: It'll all work out. My dad was the king of 'it'll all work out.' Time shares in the Bahamas, mobile video stores, whatever the next big nothing was all our money went right after it. But, uh, don't worry, it'll all work out. Got me working two part-time jobs after school, us getting our house repossessed on Christmas Eve, ho, ho, ho. So you will forgive me if I don't listen.
Declan: I'm sorry. No, really, I'm sorry. Your father is someone you should be able to rely on.

See that's what it takes to be married for forty four years. The kiss. Always kiss like it's the first time, and the last time.

Bride: May you never steal, lie, or cheat. But if you must steal, then steal away my sorrows. And if you must lie, then lie with me all the nights of my life. And if you must cheat, then please, cheat death. Because I couldn't live a day without you. Cheers!

Declan: Listen. Bob. You're not in America now. You're in Ireland. So, have a drink, and shut up.
Anna: I was just trying to help.
Declan: Help? That's hilarious. The woman who was so desperate to make her way to Dublin to make the most important decision of her life based on some ridiculous tradition, which frankly is a load of old poo, so, thank you, Bob, it's not I who needs the help. Okay?
Anna: It is not a load of poo. It's romantic.

Anna: You know what you are? You are a beast. You are a real beast. And I cannot stand you. But you know what, I am on to you. All your beastliness, it's an act. It's a great, big, massive, cover up. You... you growl and you snap but you are in... you're in pain. You've got a, um, got a big thorn in your beastly paw. Like a lion, a lovely, lovely lion.

Do I like it? I want to throw you out your own window and take it.

Anna: When my sixty seconds came around I thought, I had everything that I wanted but nothing that I needed. But what I think I need is here and I came all this way to see if you might think so too, and if you do, well I don't have any plans past that which is new for me. So, Declan O'Callahan, and I should probably learn your middle name, here is my proposal. I propose we not make plans, I propose we give this thing a chance and let it work out how it works out. So what do you say? Do you want to not make plans with me?