Blanche: Have you found Jesus?
Lucy: Well, I didn't know he was missing.
Trudy: Oh, good. Electric's still on. Heat's LP. Tank's out back. Furnace is a Norge. The pipes are wrapped. Windows are two-paned. And there's a double layer of Owens Corning. Harwood. You got rugs to keep from freezing the bejesus out of your toes.
Harve: Oh hell, anything you can uncork, uncap or unscrew, I'll drink it.
Ted: Women like that just selling themselves as sex objects? What kind of a role model is that for a young girl?
Lucy: I think that any examples of strong successful young women are vital.
Ted: And that's how you measure success? By how sexy and provocative a woman can be? We'll pass on that. We listen to country, huh baby?
Lucy: Oh, the twangy drivel about the losers who drink beer and drive pickup trucks?
Ted: I like beer. I drive a pickup.
Lucy: I should have known.
Ted: You probably drive a new car for what it says about you, when what it really says about you, is how you bow down to the big corporation that made a gravy train out of this country.
Blanche: Would anybody like more gravy? Trudy? Kimberley?
Lucy: Industrial competition in a free market economy is what built this country.
Ted: No, robber barons built this country, and they did it from the blood of working folks. Hell, you steal somebody's car, you get thrown in jail. You steal somebody's life savings, you get to be a CEO.
Lucy: Well, I'm planning on being a CEO.
Ted: Well Blanche, you better count the silverware before she leaves.
Lucy: Oh don't even bother. I'm leaving now.
Ted: Not if I leave first. Come on, baby.
Blanche: I got Snickerdoodles with Tapioca.
Ted: I was 14 once so I know all about what's going on through your head... and your pants.
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
The Sandlot
Narrator: There is one all time greatest moment in the history of sports and it happened in the 1932 World Series. The story goes that in the bottom of the ninth inning with two outs, a full count, and the tying run on base, Babe Ruth raised his arm and pointed to the center field bleachers. No one believed it, because nobody had ever done it before. But The Babe was calling his shot. On the next pitch, the Great Bambino hit a towering 400-foot home run. And even though he'd been a hero before that, that's pretty much how he became a legend. Thirty years later, a kid named Benjamin Franklin Rodriguez became a neighborhood legend. It was in the greatest summer of my life, when he taught me how to play baseball, and he became my best friend. And he got me out of the biggest pickle I'd ever be in. I moved to the neighborhood about two weeks before school let out. It was the same summer that Dodger Maury Wills would break the stolen bases record. So with something that incredible going on, it should've started off with loads of great things happening for me, but it didn't. I was from another state, and I didn't have a single friend in a thousand miles. It was a lousy way to end up the fifth grade 'cause I had zip time to make friends before summer. And that's about where it all started.
Narrator: My real dad died when I was just a little kid. My mom had married Bill about a year before we moved to the Valley. At the time, he and I were still getting used to each other.
Narrator: I followed them to the sandlot once after school. I'd never seen any place like it. It was like their own little baseball kingdom or something. It was the greatest place I'd ever seen anyway. But they were good, real good. And all I had was a plastic toy mitt that my grandmother gave me for my birthday when I was six. But when I finally got up enough guts to go out there and try and make friends, I found out that they never kept score, they never chose sides, they never even really stopped playing the game. It just went on forever. Every day they picked up where they left off the day before. It was like an endless dream game. There was only eight of them, so they didn't have a whole team. So even though I didn't know how to play, I figured I could be the ninth man and maybe just stand in the outfield somewhere and take up space. Of course, if I'd known what was gonna happen when I got there, I probably never would've gone. If it wasn't for Benny, I never would've made a single friend that summer, 'cause all the rest of those guys thought I was a lost cause. Even before we became friends, Benny and me were connected, connected for the one moment later that summer, when I'd get us all into the biggest pickle any of us had ever seen.
Porter: I'm the Great Bambino.
Smalls: Who's that?
Porter: What?
Narrator: I had no idea who they were talking about.
Porter: What did he say?
Bertram: What, were you born in a barn, man?
Yeah, Yeah: Yeah what planet are you from?
Narrator: But there was no way I could let them know.
Squints: You never heard of the Sultan of Swat?
Kenny: The Titan of Terror?
Timmy: The Colossus of Clout?
Tommy: The Colossus of Clout!
Benny: The King of Clash, man.
Narrator: So I lied.
Smalls: Oh yeah, the Great Bambino, of course. I thought you said, the Great Bambi.
Squint: Come on, Benny, the kid is an l-7 weenie.
Yeah Yeah: Yeah, yeah. Oscar Mayer even. Footlong! Dodger dog! A weenie!
Benny: What are you laughing at, Yeah Yeah? You run like a duck.
Porter: Hey man, you want a s'more.
Smalls: Some more of what?
Porter: No, no, you want a s'more?
Smalls: I haven't had anything yet, so how can I have some more of nothing?
Porter: You're killing me, Smalls. These are s'mores stuff. Okay, pay attention. First you take the graham. You stick the chocolate on the graham. Then you roast the 'mallow. When the 'mallow's flaming, you stick it on the chocolate. Then, you cover it with the other end. Then you stuff.
Squints: The legend of The Beast goes back a long time, before any of us could even pick up a baseball. Back to a place called Mertle's Acres. It all started about, mmm, 20 years ago, when thieves kept stealing junk from Mertle's Acres junkyard. So Mr. Mertle, the guy who used to owned the place, got him this new pup from the dog pound. He fed him whole sides of beef, and turned the pup loose in the junkyard. And the pup was grateful. And so, in a few weeks, the pup grew into The Beast. And he grew big, and he grew mean, so that he could protect the junkyard with only one thing on his mind: to kill everyone that broke in. And he did, and he liked it a lot! The Beast was the most perfect junkyard dog that ever lived. A true killing machine. But after a while, the cops started getting phone calls from people reporting all the missing thieves, the ones The Beast had killed. It added up to about 120 - 173 guys. It's true. They never found a single body, not one. Some people say they all got away, but we all know what really happened. The Beast ate them. He ate them bone and all. The Beast was too good at his guard dog job, so the police said he had to be retired. My grandpa, Squidman Palledorous, was police chief back then. He ordered Mr. Mertle to turn his backyard into a fortress and chain up The Beast and put him under the house where he could never get out to eat children and stuff. And that's where he's been for twenty years. And that's where he'll be for the rest of his life. Because Mr. Mertle asked the cops how long he had to keep The Beast chained up like a slave, they said until for-ev-er. For-ev-er. For-ev-er. For-ev-er. And so, The Beast sits there under that lean-to, dreaming of the time when he can break the chain and get out, dreaming of the time he can chase and kill again.
Narrator: That night I learned that more than 150 baseballs had gone over that fence and not one of them was ever seen again, even when some brave kid worked up enough courage to peek over. Because when they went over, they vanished. I knew it was true. Because when I looked down in there, I didn't see a single solitary one.
Yeah Yeah: Squints was pervin' a dish.
Porter: I'm baking like a toaster cheeser!
Benny: Vote then. Anybody who wants to be a "can't hack it" pantywaist who wears their mama's bra, raise your hand.
Narrator: Benny would've played ball all day, all night, rain, shine, tidal wave, whatever. Baseball was the only thing he cares about.But of all the tings we ever did besides baseball, going to the pool is what he tolerated best. Even though none of us had ever seen a Playboy magazine, which we constantly lied about, we figured going to the pool was the next best thing to being there. It wasn't really the pool honeys like we said, because if any one of them had come up to any one of us, we'd have just peed our pants. We all went because, well, because Wendy Peffercorn was the lifeguard. Then one day it because too much for Michael "Squints" Palledorous. And he did the most desperate thing any of us had ever seen. Michael "Squints" Palledorous walked a little bit taller that day. We had to tip our hats to him. He was lucky she hadn't beat the crap out of him. We wouldn't have blamed her. What he'd done was sneaky, rotten and low... and cool. Not another one among us would've ever in a million years, even for a million dollars had the guts to put the move on the lifeguard. He did. He had kissed a woman, and he had kissed her long and good. We got banned from the pool forever that day. But every time we walked by after that, the lifeguard looked down from her tower, right over at Squints and smiled.
Narrator: There was only one night game a year. On the fourth of July, the whole sky would brighten up with fireworks, giving us just enough light for a game. We played our best then because, I guess, we all felt like the big leaguers under the lights of some great stadium. Benny felt like that all the time. We all knew he was gonna go on to bigger and better games, because every time we stopped to watch the sky on those nights like regular kids, he was there to call us back. You see, for us, baseball was a game. But for Benjamin Franklin Rodriguez, baseball was life.
Phillips: It's easy when you play with a bunch of rejects and fat kids, Rodriguez.
Benny: Shut you mouth, Phillips.
Porter: What did you say, crap face?
Phillips: I said you shouldn't even be allowed to touch a baseball. Except for Rodriguez, you're all an insult to the game.
Porter: Come on! We'll take you on right here, right now!
Phillips: We play on a real diamond, Porter! You ain't good enough to lick the dirt off our cleats.
Porter: Watch it, Jerk.
Phillips: Shut up, idiot!
Porter: Moron!
Phillips: Scab eater!
Porter: Butt sniffer!
Phillips: Pus licker!
Porter: Fart smeller!
Phillips: You eat dog crap for breakfast, geek.
Porter: You make your Wheaties with your mama's toe jam!
Phillips: You bob for apples in the toilet and you like it.
Porter: You play ball like a girl!
Phillips: What did you say?
Porter: You heard me.
Phillips: Tomorrow. Noon, at our field. Be there buffalo butt breath.
Porter: Count on it, pee-drinking crap face!
Porter: You know, if my dog was as ugly as you, I'd shave his butt and tell him to walk backwards.
Narrator: We were all walking on air that night. It had been a solid victory. In fact, we beat the crap out of those guys. So we all went to celebrate. And we did the stupidest thing any of us had ever done.
Narrator: A couple days after we all got over acting like big shots, we swore off the hard stuff forever and just stuck to Bazooka. But the day we all got back together for some baseball, was the day I got us into the biggest pickle of all time, and it all started with an omen.
Kenny: The Beast got it.
Timmy: You're dead as a door nail, Smalls.
Tommy: You're dead as a door nail, Smalls.
Timmy: Smalls, you mean to tell me that you went home and swiped a ball that was signed by Babe Ruth, and you brought it out here and actually played with it?
Tommy: Actually played with it?
Smalls: Yeah. Yeah, but I was gonna bring it right back.
Squints: But it was signed by Babe Ruth.
Smalls: Yeah. Yeah. You keep saying telling me that. Who is she?
Porter: What? What?
Kenny: The Sultan of Swat.
Bertram: The King of Crash.
Timmy: The Colossus of Clout.
Tommy: The Colossus of Clout.
All: Babe Ruth!
Porter: The Great Bambino!
Smalls: Oh my god! You mean that's the same guy?!
All: Yes!
Benny: Smalls, Babe Ruth was the greatest baseball player that ever lived. People say he was less than a god but more than a man. You know, like Hercules or something. That ball you just aced to The Beast is worth, well, more than your whole life, man.
Narrator: It was salt in an open wound. Even my own mom, a grown-up girl, knew who Babe Ruth was. I was dead meat. We had thought that that ball Benny had busted the guts out of meant something amazing was gonna happen. Now I just figured it meant my life was over.
Narrator: It was my last chance. So we quit messing around and pulled out all the stops. I collected every piece of erector set I had, and it finally became, science against nature.
Narrator: My life... was over. Just as Bill had finally warmed up to me, and asked me to be the man of the house, I had to knock a priceless chunk of history into the clutches of a monster. Great. I had a dream that night about a giant baseball, that was signed by Babe Ruth, falling out of the sky and hammering me into the ground like a railroad spike.I didn't know what that meant, but Benny had a dream that night too, and his was a lot more helpful.
Babe Ruth: Legends never die, kid.
Babe Ruth: Let me tell you something, kid. Everybody gets one chance to do something great. Most people never take the chance, either 'cause they're too scared or they don't recognize it when it spits on their shoes. This is your big chance, and you shouldn't let it go by. Remember when you busted the guts out of the ball the other day? Someone's telling you something, kid. If I was you, I'd listen.
Babe Ruth: Remember, kid. There's heroes and legends. Heroes get remembered, but legends never die. Follow your heart, kid, and you'll never go wrong.
Narrator: Only one kid in history had ever attempted what Benny was about to, and he got eaten. So we were worried, real worried, even when Benny brought out the secret weapon: shoes guaranteed to make a kid run faster and jump higher, P.F. Flyers.
Narrator: Even though Bill loved the Murderer's Row ball, he was still plenty mad about me having swiped his Babe Ruth autographed ball and ruining it. So I didn't feel too bad when he grounded me for a week instead of the rest of my life. Things worked out between me and him. And from then on, I didn't have any trouble just calling him Dad all the time. We all lived together in the neighborhood for a couple more years, mostly through junior high school, and every summer was great. But none of them ever came close to that first one. When one guy would move away, we never replaced him on the team with anyone else. We just kept the game going like he was still there.
Narrator: It was weird that Benny has said Babe Ruth was like the Hercules of baseball, and The Beast's name ended up being Hercules. None of us could ever figure out what that meant, but we were all amazed by it. I kept in touch with those guys over the years, and I found out that Yeah Yeah's parents shipped him off to military school. After the army, he became one of the pioneering developers of bungee jumping. Of course, we all know why. Bertram, well, Bertram got really into the '60s, and no one ever saw him again. Timmy and Tommy because an architect and a contractor. They started out small, designing playground equipment and prefabricated tree houses. But they became multimillionaires when they invented mini-malls. Squints grew up and married Wendy Peffercorn. They have nine kids. They bought Vincent's Drugstore, and they still own it to this day. Hamilton Porter became a professional wrestler. You know him as The Great Hambino. DeNunez played triple-A ball, but he never got to the majors.He owns his own business now, and he coaches a little league team that his sons play on called the Heaters. Hercules lived to be 199 years old, in doggy years. I was the last one to move away. But when I did, the sandlot was still there. After Benny pickled The Beast, his reputation spread all over town. From then on, he was known as Benny "The Jet" Rodriguez. And the nickname stuck with him for the rest of his life.
Narrator: My real dad died when I was just a little kid. My mom had married Bill about a year before we moved to the Valley. At the time, he and I were still getting used to each other.
Narrator: I followed them to the sandlot once after school. I'd never seen any place like it. It was like their own little baseball kingdom or something. It was the greatest place I'd ever seen anyway. But they were good, real good. And all I had was a plastic toy mitt that my grandmother gave me for my birthday when I was six. But when I finally got up enough guts to go out there and try and make friends, I found out that they never kept score, they never chose sides, they never even really stopped playing the game. It just went on forever. Every day they picked up where they left off the day before. It was like an endless dream game. There was only eight of them, so they didn't have a whole team. So even though I didn't know how to play, I figured I could be the ninth man and maybe just stand in the outfield somewhere and take up space. Of course, if I'd known what was gonna happen when I got there, I probably never would've gone. If it wasn't for Benny, I never would've made a single friend that summer, 'cause all the rest of those guys thought I was a lost cause. Even before we became friends, Benny and me were connected, connected for the one moment later that summer, when I'd get us all into the biggest pickle any of us had ever seen.
Porter: I'm the Great Bambino.
Smalls: Who's that?
Porter: What?
Narrator: I had no idea who they were talking about.
Porter: What did he say?
Bertram: What, were you born in a barn, man?
Yeah, Yeah: Yeah what planet are you from?
Narrator: But there was no way I could let them know.
Squints: You never heard of the Sultan of Swat?
Kenny: The Titan of Terror?
Timmy: The Colossus of Clout?
Tommy: The Colossus of Clout!
Benny: The King of Clash, man.
Narrator: So I lied.
Smalls: Oh yeah, the Great Bambino, of course. I thought you said, the Great Bambi.
Squint: Come on, Benny, the kid is an l-7 weenie.
Yeah Yeah: Yeah, yeah. Oscar Mayer even. Footlong! Dodger dog! A weenie!
Benny: What are you laughing at, Yeah Yeah? You run like a duck.
Porter: Hey man, you want a s'more.
Smalls: Some more of what?
Porter: No, no, you want a s'more?
Smalls: I haven't had anything yet, so how can I have some more of nothing?
Porter: You're killing me, Smalls. These are s'mores stuff. Okay, pay attention. First you take the graham. You stick the chocolate on the graham. Then you roast the 'mallow. When the 'mallow's flaming, you stick it on the chocolate. Then, you cover it with the other end. Then you stuff.
Squints: The legend of The Beast goes back a long time, before any of us could even pick up a baseball. Back to a place called Mertle's Acres. It all started about, mmm, 20 years ago, when thieves kept stealing junk from Mertle's Acres junkyard. So Mr. Mertle, the guy who used to owned the place, got him this new pup from the dog pound. He fed him whole sides of beef, and turned the pup loose in the junkyard. And the pup was grateful. And so, in a few weeks, the pup grew into The Beast. And he grew big, and he grew mean, so that he could protect the junkyard with only one thing on his mind: to kill everyone that broke in. And he did, and he liked it a lot! The Beast was the most perfect junkyard dog that ever lived. A true killing machine. But after a while, the cops started getting phone calls from people reporting all the missing thieves, the ones The Beast had killed. It added up to about 120 - 173 guys. It's true. They never found a single body, not one. Some people say they all got away, but we all know what really happened. The Beast ate them. He ate them bone and all. The Beast was too good at his guard dog job, so the police said he had to be retired. My grandpa, Squidman Palledorous, was police chief back then. He ordered Mr. Mertle to turn his backyard into a fortress and chain up The Beast and put him under the house where he could never get out to eat children and stuff. And that's where he's been for twenty years. And that's where he'll be for the rest of his life. Because Mr. Mertle asked the cops how long he had to keep The Beast chained up like a slave, they said until for-ev-er. For-ev-er. For-ev-er. For-ev-er. And so, The Beast sits there under that lean-to, dreaming of the time when he can break the chain and get out, dreaming of the time he can chase and kill again.
Narrator: That night I learned that more than 150 baseballs had gone over that fence and not one of them was ever seen again, even when some brave kid worked up enough courage to peek over. Because when they went over, they vanished. I knew it was true. Because when I looked down in there, I didn't see a single solitary one.
Yeah Yeah: Squints was pervin' a dish.
Porter: I'm baking like a toaster cheeser!
Benny: Vote then. Anybody who wants to be a "can't hack it" pantywaist who wears their mama's bra, raise your hand.
Narrator: Benny would've played ball all day, all night, rain, shine, tidal wave, whatever. Baseball was the only thing he cares about.But of all the tings we ever did besides baseball, going to the pool is what he tolerated best. Even though none of us had ever seen a Playboy magazine, which we constantly lied about, we figured going to the pool was the next best thing to being there. It wasn't really the pool honeys like we said, because if any one of them had come up to any one of us, we'd have just peed our pants. We all went because, well, because Wendy Peffercorn was the lifeguard. Then one day it because too much for Michael "Squints" Palledorous. And he did the most desperate thing any of us had ever seen. Michael "Squints" Palledorous walked a little bit taller that day. We had to tip our hats to him. He was lucky she hadn't beat the crap out of him. We wouldn't have blamed her. What he'd done was sneaky, rotten and low... and cool. Not another one among us would've ever in a million years, even for a million dollars had the guts to put the move on the lifeguard. He did. He had kissed a woman, and he had kissed her long and good. We got banned from the pool forever that day. But every time we walked by after that, the lifeguard looked down from her tower, right over at Squints and smiled.
Narrator: There was only one night game a year. On the fourth of July, the whole sky would brighten up with fireworks, giving us just enough light for a game. We played our best then because, I guess, we all felt like the big leaguers under the lights of some great stadium. Benny felt like that all the time. We all knew he was gonna go on to bigger and better games, because every time we stopped to watch the sky on those nights like regular kids, he was there to call us back. You see, for us, baseball was a game. But for Benjamin Franklin Rodriguez, baseball was life.
Phillips: It's easy when you play with a bunch of rejects and fat kids, Rodriguez.
Benny: Shut you mouth, Phillips.
Porter: What did you say, crap face?
Phillips: I said you shouldn't even be allowed to touch a baseball. Except for Rodriguez, you're all an insult to the game.
Porter: Come on! We'll take you on right here, right now!
Phillips: We play on a real diamond, Porter! You ain't good enough to lick the dirt off our cleats.
Porter: Watch it, Jerk.
Phillips: Shut up, idiot!
Porter: Moron!
Phillips: Scab eater!
Porter: Butt sniffer!
Phillips: Pus licker!
Porter: Fart smeller!
Phillips: You eat dog crap for breakfast, geek.
Porter: You make your Wheaties with your mama's toe jam!
Phillips: You bob for apples in the toilet and you like it.
Porter: You play ball like a girl!
Phillips: What did you say?
Porter: You heard me.
Phillips: Tomorrow. Noon, at our field. Be there buffalo butt breath.
Porter: Count on it, pee-drinking crap face!
Porter: You know, if my dog was as ugly as you, I'd shave his butt and tell him to walk backwards.
Narrator: We were all walking on air that night. It had been a solid victory. In fact, we beat the crap out of those guys. So we all went to celebrate. And we did the stupidest thing any of us had ever done.
Narrator: A couple days after we all got over acting like big shots, we swore off the hard stuff forever and just stuck to Bazooka. But the day we all got back together for some baseball, was the day I got us into the biggest pickle of all time, and it all started with an omen.
Kenny: The Beast got it.
Timmy: You're dead as a door nail, Smalls.
Tommy: You're dead as a door nail, Smalls.
Timmy: Smalls, you mean to tell me that you went home and swiped a ball that was signed by Babe Ruth, and you brought it out here and actually played with it?
Tommy: Actually played with it?
Smalls: Yeah. Yeah, but I was gonna bring it right back.
Squints: But it was signed by Babe Ruth.
Smalls: Yeah. Yeah. You keep saying telling me that. Who is she?
Porter: What? What?
Kenny: The Sultan of Swat.
Bertram: The King of Crash.
Timmy: The Colossus of Clout.
Tommy: The Colossus of Clout.
All: Babe Ruth!
Porter: The Great Bambino!
Smalls: Oh my god! You mean that's the same guy?!
All: Yes!
Benny: Smalls, Babe Ruth was the greatest baseball player that ever lived. People say he was less than a god but more than a man. You know, like Hercules or something. That ball you just aced to The Beast is worth, well, more than your whole life, man.
Narrator: It was salt in an open wound. Even my own mom, a grown-up girl, knew who Babe Ruth was. I was dead meat. We had thought that that ball Benny had busted the guts out of meant something amazing was gonna happen. Now I just figured it meant my life was over.
Narrator: It was my last chance. So we quit messing around and pulled out all the stops. I collected every piece of erector set I had, and it finally became, science against nature.
Narrator: My life... was over. Just as Bill had finally warmed up to me, and asked me to be the man of the house, I had to knock a priceless chunk of history into the clutches of a monster. Great. I had a dream that night about a giant baseball, that was signed by Babe Ruth, falling out of the sky and hammering me into the ground like a railroad spike.I didn't know what that meant, but Benny had a dream that night too, and his was a lot more helpful.
Babe Ruth: Legends never die, kid.
Babe Ruth: Let me tell you something, kid. Everybody gets one chance to do something great. Most people never take the chance, either 'cause they're too scared or they don't recognize it when it spits on their shoes. This is your big chance, and you shouldn't let it go by. Remember when you busted the guts out of the ball the other day? Someone's telling you something, kid. If I was you, I'd listen.
Babe Ruth: Remember, kid. There's heroes and legends. Heroes get remembered, but legends never die. Follow your heart, kid, and you'll never go wrong.
Narrator: Only one kid in history had ever attempted what Benny was about to, and he got eaten. So we were worried, real worried, even when Benny brought out the secret weapon: shoes guaranteed to make a kid run faster and jump higher, P.F. Flyers.
Narrator: Even though Bill loved the Murderer's Row ball, he was still plenty mad about me having swiped his Babe Ruth autographed ball and ruining it. So I didn't feel too bad when he grounded me for a week instead of the rest of my life. Things worked out between me and him. And from then on, I didn't have any trouble just calling him Dad all the time. We all lived together in the neighborhood for a couple more years, mostly through junior high school, and every summer was great. But none of them ever came close to that first one. When one guy would move away, we never replaced him on the team with anyone else. We just kept the game going like he was still there.
Narrator: It was weird that Benny has said Babe Ruth was like the Hercules of baseball, and The Beast's name ended up being Hercules. None of us could ever figure out what that meant, but we were all amazed by it. I kept in touch with those guys over the years, and I found out that Yeah Yeah's parents shipped him off to military school. After the army, he became one of the pioneering developers of bungee jumping. Of course, we all know why. Bertram, well, Bertram got really into the '60s, and no one ever saw him again. Timmy and Tommy because an architect and a contractor. They started out small, designing playground equipment and prefabricated tree houses. But they became multimillionaires when they invented mini-malls. Squints grew up and married Wendy Peffercorn. They have nine kids. They bought Vincent's Drugstore, and they still own it to this day. Hamilton Porter became a professional wrestler. You know him as The Great Hambino. DeNunez played triple-A ball, but he never got to the majors.He owns his own business now, and he coaches a little league team that his sons play on called the Heaters. Hercules lived to be 199 years old, in doggy years. I was the last one to move away. But when I did, the sandlot was still there. After Benny pickled The Beast, his reputation spread all over town. From then on, he was known as Benny "The Jet" Rodriguez. And the nickname stuck with him for the rest of his life.
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
New Girl
Nick: I could pretend to be more like you, Jess, and live on a sparkly rainbow and drive a unicorn around and just sing all the time.
Cece: What's your stripper name?
Jess: Uh, Rebecca Johnson.
Cece: Your stripper name is Rebecca Johnson?
Jess: Boobies Johnson. Two Boobs Johnson.
Schmidt: I'll take you through the whole thing. I'll be like your guide.
Jess: Like Gandolf through Middle Earth?
Schmidt: Probably not like... Okay, first of all, let's take the Lord of the Rings references and put them in a deep, dark cave, where no one's gonna find them. Ever.
Jess: Except Smeagle. He lives in a cave.
Jess: Pink wine makes me slutty.
Jess: I'm doing sexy things with the pillow.
Jess: Who's that girl? It's Jess.
Nick: Did you just make up a theme song for yourself?
Jess: I was going for like a hot farmer's daughter kind of thing, like, oh, I'm gonna go milk my cows.
Cece: What's your stripper name?
Jess: Uh, Rebecca Johnson.
Cece: Your stripper name is Rebecca Johnson?
Jess: Boobies Johnson. Two Boobs Johnson.
Schmidt: I'll take you through the whole thing. I'll be like your guide.
Jess: Like Gandolf through Middle Earth?
Schmidt: Probably not like... Okay, first of all, let's take the Lord of the Rings references and put them in a deep, dark cave, where no one's gonna find them. Ever.
Jess: Except Smeagle. He lives in a cave.
Jess: Pink wine makes me slutty.
Jess: I'm doing sexy things with the pillow.
Jess: Who's that girl? It's Jess.
Nick: Did you just make up a theme song for yourself?
Jess: I was going for like a hot farmer's daughter kind of thing, like, oh, I'm gonna go milk my cows.
Jersey Shore Season 4
Pauly: [on Deena's chest] If these boobies could talk they would say, I'm a good time, I'm a blast in a bra.
Vinny: No granatos.
Pauly: Taxi arrivato!
Deena: I'll bring guys home, but I won't do sex.
Mike: Lock up your daughters. Handcuff your wives. The Situation is taking over the Italian nation.
Sammi: Do breasts shrink when they're fake?
J-Woww: No way. These babies are 700 cc's and they're staying 700 cc's.
Snooki: Sammi and I should get fake boobs.
Sammi: [nodding] I want them!
Snooki: We should get fake boobs together. I'm scared of needles. I just want them to not sag and the other one is bigger than the other and its really pissing me off. When I lay down they go to the side. It's annoying.
Snooki: Italy's like that big country. No, Europe is that big country. They have Britain, England, and Italy.
Pauly D: When I get to Italy is like an international panty raid. I'm going crazy.
Deena: I figure an Italian guy in a Vespa is like a hot guy here on a street bike.
Snooki: I have no idea where Italy is on the map, but I do know what shape it is, and it's like a boot.
Snooki: You think they sell eyelashes in Italy. It's kind of like another world. I don't know what goes on in there.
JWoww: JWoww and her boobies are going to Italy.
Ronnie: Fresh start in Italy. No more being a b!tch ... No more of me and Sammi drama.
Snooki: I've got to convert my money... Is that where I get pesos?
Pauly D: Streets are so small and the alleys are so narrow, Ronnie's not gonna be able to fit through. He's gonna have to turn himself sideways.
Ron: The roommate situation, it's just like, I figured if me and Sam are together, we're gonna smush, so let me not get myself into that situation.
Snooki: My heart is racing and I smell like King Kong's a$$hole.
Sammi: Nicole is in a relationship with Jionni. Mike wants to ruin that. It's like a switch in his head. Like it's a disease.
Vinny: The navigation system is in Italian. I don't think the girls can understand the navigation system in English.
Snooki: These pigeons are ruthless in Italy. They will attack you and bite your ears off.
Pauly: I don't know where Snooki got these workouts from. It looks like she's having sex with herself. I don't know.
Ronnie: She's gonna f#%k up that situation for this situation. I'm kind of iffy about that.
Deena: Trying to communicate with these Italian men. Gonna be a lot of hand motions and shaking the butt.
Deena: What's that church called? ... It starts with a V. Vatican?
Ronnie: Vatican. That's the one that Leonardo da Vinci painted with his hands.
Vinny: I'm pretty sure it was Michelangelo.
Deena: It was no, like, 'Mike wanted to snuggle and I said no.' Because I don't want you. Just so you know.
JWoww: You're going home? You're outta here? Nice meeting you!
Snooki: Toodles, whore.
Ronnie: I am the pimp daddy mac of this whole place.
Deena: My game plan is: flirt with Pauly, make out with him a couple of times, then who knows, maybe his Italian sausage will be in my *#$%.
Snooki: (to Pauly) Please f@$# Deena!
Deena: If I do sex with him, it is what it is.
Pauly D: I've [never] met a girl in my life that can just hook up and have no feelings. They always end up having feelings.
JWoww: Making coffee in Italy is like making coffee in the 1600′s.
Situation: If Jionni can't make Snooki happy, The Situation is happy to step up to the plate and hit a home run
Deena: God. Everything is in another language.
Sammi: These are like weird strawberries are these good like this?
Deena: Yeah those are like raspberries.
Mike: I hear Snooki talking to Jionni on the phone she was upset, but The Situation is very good when it comes to relationship advice.
Snooki : I legit wake up at like 3 o'clock in the afternoon.
JWoww: We're working at a f@#king pizzeria in Florence. When I'm 80 years old and I'm making pizza in my kitchen and I'm teaching my kids how to make pizza and they ask me, oh, where'd you make pizza, bitch I made it in Florence, that's where I made pizza so shut your mouth and enjoy my pizza.
Snooki: Like I don't speak Italian, how the f*&k am I supposed to know how to cook a pizza.
Ronnie: Snooks made the first pizza pie, came out pretty good. I mean if Snooki can do it, we all can do it, you know what I mean.
Vinny: [on Snooki] She loves hot salami.
Pauly D: This match with the gold glasses and the gold watch ... yeah buddy, fresh from the feet up.
Mike: Brittany is one of the most DTF chicks I've ever met, and she'll be here in 20 minutes.
Pauly D: Yo, if she still has coloring books ... she's too young for you, man.
Vinny: If she's got a basket on her bicycle ... she's too young for you man.
Pauly D: If she still has the parental controls on her TV ... she's too young for you bro.
Vinny: If she only owns Snow White on DVD ... she's too young for you man.
Pauly D: If his Keds still light up ... he's too young for you bro.
Ronnie: [laughs]
Pauly D: If she still plays laser tag ... she's too young for you bro.
JWoww: That's me.
Ronnie: F--k me in the a$$ with a spiked bat. I'd rather not do that.
Snooki: Alright dad I'll call you back after Mike tries to get his booty call on.
Pauly D: You wanna try for something, two hot twins in a threesome is worth trying for.
The Situation: A threesome is not a simple task to accomplish, but then again The Situation does the impossible.
Pauly D: I recently said if Ron and Sam get back together, I'll kill myself. When you're thinking suicide in someone else's relationship? That's how bad it is.
Snooki: Twinning!
Deena: When you're drunk, sometimes you just make out with girls.
Pauly D: This is a full blown lesbianic experience right now.
The Situation: It was supposed to be a manage-a-twin ... I was supposed to be Twinning. I'm upset, but not too upset because I still have one twin.
Vinny: I thought she was gonna get with Mike, I thought she was gonna get with Deena, I didn't know who this chick was gonna get with, but somehow she ends up on top of me.
Mike: Everybody knows The Situation is not a liar.
Deena: This is not me, this is not what I do, I like penis.
Mike: It was supposed to be a Menage-a-twin, but my whole menage-ery went awry.
Vinny: It was called a tag team, not tag rob.
Situation: Sometimes the truth hurts. But, I'm going to bring truth to the people. I'm the people's champ.
Pauly D: Come on. Lesbionic. Lesbehonest!
Mike: Deena has a criminal record of c**kblocking now. This is a serious offense and is going to be on her record for at least 7 years.
Deena: I'm not a c**kblocker. I gave her back afterwards.
Deena: I have my periodozo.
Pauly: Mike knocked himself out. I think Mike tried to commit suicide by running his head up against the wall.
Vinny: Like he f#*king knocked himself out into the wall ... what the f@#k?!?
Vinny: The craziest thing is that, like, he's in the hospital and it wasn't even from the fight.
Sam: [to Ron] Be honest all you want, but I just don't want anything to do with you ever again in my entire life.
Vinny: All this crazy s#$t is going on, you know I got roommates in the hospital, I got f@#king fights, I got psychological talks that I'm having with people, and I got florist calling me telling me that they have deliveries of flowers for the girls. It's the last thing that I want to hear right now.
Mike: That's not good because for the next couple days, I can't GTL. I'm upset man.
Snooki: It's like cute adorable roses from Jionni and it has a little bunny inside, and I'm just like meh.
Pauly D: What comes to mind when I think about Ron and Sam is like me throwing up.
Mike: I have a big heart and if somebody else in the house was hurt, I'd be checking on them you know what I mean, but nobody was really checking on me really that much.
Pauly: When I see Mike with his neck brace, I'm like oh my God he's got his glasses on like always and the neck brace. You don't wear sunglasses with a neck brace. He looks ridiculous.
Pauly D: It's finally starting to feel like I'm out with single Ronnie. He's got that look in his face like he's gonna creep or whatever.
Pauly D: What's up baby I'll f!#k you up. What's up baby? Let's do it. let's do it. let's do it.
JWoww: I feel like, how can you get sympathy on a self inflicted injury?
Priest: Can you cover your body please when you come in front of church?
Snooki: Shut up ... a$$hole!
Snooki: God likes my tits, God made tits.
JWOWW: God didn't make mine.
Snooki: [to Jionni] You make me happy, you make me laugh, and I want to suck your butt.
Snooki: Jionni is very conservative sexually. Me, I'm the total opposite. I don't give a f*&k what people think about me. I peed my pants in public, I'm still not be embarrassed.
Ronnie: [imitating Snook] I want you to put nutella on my toes and suck them right now Jionni.
Snooki: Well not my toes...
Pauly D : My hair's sacred, it's like my sacred crown. It means a lot to me.
Deena: Pauly looks hot with his new hair style. I'd totally f@#king bang him.
Pauly D: Yo I look like one of them guidos on TV that are like trying too hard.
Pauly D: Yo it's Joey D, taking over Italy, Pauly D's a clown, YEAHHHH ... buddy.
Vinny: We are dressing like ultimate guidos right now, and no one knows more about guido toolbags than us.
Pauly D: I'm gonna f@#cking fist pump 'til my f&*king arm falls off!!
Pauly D: Louie, you're gonna get all the girls!
Pauly D: Oh you hit me in the eye Louie, how many times I gotta f&*cking tell you, don't fist pump next to my eye!
Pauly D: FPC, fist pump, pushups, chapstick!
Pauly D: FPC is a way of life. I'm a guido.
Snooki: I'm just like don't f*&k with my b$%ch. If you f%#k with Deena, I will hurt you.
Deena: Team Meatballs attack!
Deena: Falling drunk, you know it's like, F**K, and then you're bleeding, and you're like freaking all cut up.
Snooki: I blacked out. What happened?
JWoww: We were about to f$#king intervene your ass.
Snooki: You don't do a f%$king intervention. I'm not addicted to heroin, I'm just addicted to by boyfriends penis, that's all.
Snooki: It looks like Hawaii, so I feel like it's an island. Or maybe it's like on the border of like a continent? You know what I mean, so it's like by...an ocean?
Mike "The Situation": The guys right now, we don't think Team Meatball are going to make it to dinner tonight. Snooki and Deena are the meatballs, and they're not making it to the sauce.
Snooki: I just spent $400 on Hello Kitty.
JWOWW: Deena is showing her kooka to the whole entire club.
Deena: What-ever! I forgot to put underwears on.
JWOWW: It's bad enough if a nipple slips when you're at the club, but you never f*cking forget your underwear. That is (yuck). All I know is, Deena needs a wax.
Vinny: No granatos.
Pauly: Taxi arrivato!
Deena: I'll bring guys home, but I won't do sex.
Mike: Lock up your daughters. Handcuff your wives. The Situation is taking over the Italian nation.
Sammi: Do breasts shrink when they're fake?
J-Woww: No way. These babies are 700 cc's and they're staying 700 cc's.
Snooki: Sammi and I should get fake boobs.
Sammi: [nodding] I want them!
Snooki: We should get fake boobs together. I'm scared of needles. I just want them to not sag and the other one is bigger than the other and its really pissing me off. When I lay down they go to the side. It's annoying.
Snooki: Italy's like that big country. No, Europe is that big country. They have Britain, England, and Italy.
Pauly D: When I get to Italy is like an international panty raid. I'm going crazy.
Deena: I figure an Italian guy in a Vespa is like a hot guy here on a street bike.
Snooki: I have no idea where Italy is on the map, but I do know what shape it is, and it's like a boot.
Snooki: You think they sell eyelashes in Italy. It's kind of like another world. I don't know what goes on in there.
JWoww: JWoww and her boobies are going to Italy.
Ronnie: Fresh start in Italy. No more being a b!tch ... No more of me and Sammi drama.
Snooki: I've got to convert my money... Is that where I get pesos?
Pauly D: Streets are so small and the alleys are so narrow, Ronnie's not gonna be able to fit through. He's gonna have to turn himself sideways.
Ron: The roommate situation, it's just like, I figured if me and Sam are together, we're gonna smush, so let me not get myself into that situation.
Snooki: My heart is racing and I smell like King Kong's a$$hole.
Sammi: Nicole is in a relationship with Jionni. Mike wants to ruin that. It's like a switch in his head. Like it's a disease.
Vinny: The navigation system is in Italian. I don't think the girls can understand the navigation system in English.
Snooki: These pigeons are ruthless in Italy. They will attack you and bite your ears off.
Pauly: I don't know where Snooki got these workouts from. It looks like she's having sex with herself. I don't know.
Ronnie: She's gonna f#%k up that situation for this situation. I'm kind of iffy about that.
Deena: Trying to communicate with these Italian men. Gonna be a lot of hand motions and shaking the butt.
Deena: What's that church called? ... It starts with a V. Vatican?
Ronnie: Vatican. That's the one that Leonardo da Vinci painted with his hands.
Vinny: I'm pretty sure it was Michelangelo.
Deena: It was no, like, 'Mike wanted to snuggle and I said no.' Because I don't want you. Just so you know.
JWoww: You're going home? You're outta here? Nice meeting you!
Snooki: Toodles, whore.
Ronnie: I am the pimp daddy mac of this whole place.
Deena: My game plan is: flirt with Pauly, make out with him a couple of times, then who knows, maybe his Italian sausage will be in my *#$%.
Snooki: (to Pauly) Please f@$# Deena!
Deena: If I do sex with him, it is what it is.
Pauly D: I've [never] met a girl in my life that can just hook up and have no feelings. They always end up having feelings.
JWoww: Making coffee in Italy is like making coffee in the 1600′s.
Situation: If Jionni can't make Snooki happy, The Situation is happy to step up to the plate and hit a home run
Deena: God. Everything is in another language.
Sammi: These are like weird strawberries are these good like this?
Deena: Yeah those are like raspberries.
Mike: I hear Snooki talking to Jionni on the phone she was upset, but The Situation is very good when it comes to relationship advice.
Snooki : I legit wake up at like 3 o'clock in the afternoon.
JWoww: We're working at a f@#king pizzeria in Florence. When I'm 80 years old and I'm making pizza in my kitchen and I'm teaching my kids how to make pizza and they ask me, oh, where'd you make pizza, bitch I made it in Florence, that's where I made pizza so shut your mouth and enjoy my pizza.
Snooki: Like I don't speak Italian, how the f*&k am I supposed to know how to cook a pizza.
Ronnie: Snooks made the first pizza pie, came out pretty good. I mean if Snooki can do it, we all can do it, you know what I mean.
Vinny: [on Snooki] She loves hot salami.
Pauly D: This match with the gold glasses and the gold watch ... yeah buddy, fresh from the feet up.
Mike: Brittany is one of the most DTF chicks I've ever met, and she'll be here in 20 minutes.
Pauly D: Yo, if she still has coloring books ... she's too young for you, man.
Vinny: If she's got a basket on her bicycle ... she's too young for you man.
Pauly D: If she still has the parental controls on her TV ... she's too young for you bro.
Vinny: If she only owns Snow White on DVD ... she's too young for you man.
Pauly D: If his Keds still light up ... he's too young for you bro.
Ronnie: [laughs]
Pauly D: If she still plays laser tag ... she's too young for you bro.
JWoww: That's me.
Ronnie: F--k me in the a$$ with a spiked bat. I'd rather not do that.
Snooki: Alright dad I'll call you back after Mike tries to get his booty call on.
Pauly D: You wanna try for something, two hot twins in a threesome is worth trying for.
The Situation: A threesome is not a simple task to accomplish, but then again The Situation does the impossible.
Pauly D: I recently said if Ron and Sam get back together, I'll kill myself. When you're thinking suicide in someone else's relationship? That's how bad it is.
Snooki: Twinning!
Deena: When you're drunk, sometimes you just make out with girls.
Pauly D: This is a full blown lesbianic experience right now.
The Situation: It was supposed to be a manage-a-twin ... I was supposed to be Twinning. I'm upset, but not too upset because I still have one twin.
Vinny: I thought she was gonna get with Mike, I thought she was gonna get with Deena, I didn't know who this chick was gonna get with, but somehow she ends up on top of me.
Mike: Everybody knows The Situation is not a liar.
Deena: This is not me, this is not what I do, I like penis.
Mike: It was supposed to be a Menage-a-twin, but my whole menage-ery went awry.
Vinny: It was called a tag team, not tag rob.
Situation: Sometimes the truth hurts. But, I'm going to bring truth to the people. I'm the people's champ.
Pauly D: Come on. Lesbionic. Lesbehonest!
Mike: Deena has a criminal record of c**kblocking now. This is a serious offense and is going to be on her record for at least 7 years.
Deena: I'm not a c**kblocker. I gave her back afterwards.
Deena: I have my periodozo.
Pauly: Mike knocked himself out. I think Mike tried to commit suicide by running his head up against the wall.
Vinny: Like he f#*king knocked himself out into the wall ... what the f@#k?!?
Vinny: The craziest thing is that, like, he's in the hospital and it wasn't even from the fight.
Sam: [to Ron] Be honest all you want, but I just don't want anything to do with you ever again in my entire life.
Vinny: All this crazy s#$t is going on, you know I got roommates in the hospital, I got f@#king fights, I got psychological talks that I'm having with people, and I got florist calling me telling me that they have deliveries of flowers for the girls. It's the last thing that I want to hear right now.
Mike: That's not good because for the next couple days, I can't GTL. I'm upset man.
Snooki: It's like cute adorable roses from Jionni and it has a little bunny inside, and I'm just like meh.
Pauly D: What comes to mind when I think about Ron and Sam is like me throwing up.
Mike: I have a big heart and if somebody else in the house was hurt, I'd be checking on them you know what I mean, but nobody was really checking on me really that much.
Pauly: When I see Mike with his neck brace, I'm like oh my God he's got his glasses on like always and the neck brace. You don't wear sunglasses with a neck brace. He looks ridiculous.
Pauly D: It's finally starting to feel like I'm out with single Ronnie. He's got that look in his face like he's gonna creep or whatever.
Pauly D: What's up baby I'll f!#k you up. What's up baby? Let's do it. let's do it. let's do it.
JWoww: I feel like, how can you get sympathy on a self inflicted injury?
Priest: Can you cover your body please when you come in front of church?
Snooki: Shut up ... a$$hole!
Snooki: God likes my tits, God made tits.
JWOWW: God didn't make mine.
Snooki: [to Jionni] You make me happy, you make me laugh, and I want to suck your butt.
Snooki: Jionni is very conservative sexually. Me, I'm the total opposite. I don't give a f*&k what people think about me. I peed my pants in public, I'm still not be embarrassed.
Ronnie: [imitating Snook] I want you to put nutella on my toes and suck them right now Jionni.
Snooki: Well not my toes...
Pauly D : My hair's sacred, it's like my sacred crown. It means a lot to me.
Deena: Pauly looks hot with his new hair style. I'd totally f@#king bang him.
Pauly D: Yo I look like one of them guidos on TV that are like trying too hard.
Pauly D: Yo it's Joey D, taking over Italy, Pauly D's a clown, YEAHHHH ... buddy.
Vinny: We are dressing like ultimate guidos right now, and no one knows more about guido toolbags than us.
Pauly D: I'm gonna f@#cking fist pump 'til my f&*king arm falls off!!
Pauly D: Louie, you're gonna get all the girls!
Pauly D: Oh you hit me in the eye Louie, how many times I gotta f&*cking tell you, don't fist pump next to my eye!
Pauly D: FPC, fist pump, pushups, chapstick!
Pauly D: FPC is a way of life. I'm a guido.
Snooki: I'm just like don't f*&k with my b$%ch. If you f%#k with Deena, I will hurt you.
Deena: Team Meatballs attack!
Deena: Falling drunk, you know it's like, F**K, and then you're bleeding, and you're like freaking all cut up.
Snooki: I blacked out. What happened?
JWoww: We were about to f$#king intervene your ass.
Snooki: You don't do a f%$king intervention. I'm not addicted to heroin, I'm just addicted to by boyfriends penis, that's all.
Snooki: It looks like Hawaii, so I feel like it's an island. Or maybe it's like on the border of like a continent? You know what I mean, so it's like by...an ocean?
Mike "The Situation": The guys right now, we don't think Team Meatball are going to make it to dinner tonight. Snooki and Deena are the meatballs, and they're not making it to the sauce.
Snooki: I just spent $400 on Hello Kitty.
JWOWW: Deena is showing her kooka to the whole entire club.
Deena: What-ever! I forgot to put underwears on.
JWOWW: It's bad enough if a nipple slips when you're at the club, but you never f*cking forget your underwear. That is (yuck). All I know is, Deena needs a wax.
Friday, June 24, 2011
S.W.A.T.
Fuller: Sometimes doing the right thing isn't doing the right thing.
Gamble: I'm sorry, I didn't know that saving lives was a God damn stunt.
Street: Gus, you're cheating on your wife with fast food.
Hondo: One casualty may be acceptable by department standards but they're not acceptable by mine.
Hondo: Flip a bitch!
Alex: Stop crying. You can buy new friends.
Gamble: I'm sorry, I didn't know that saving lives was a God damn stunt.
Street: Gus, you're cheating on your wife with fast food.
Hondo: One casualty may be acceptable by department standards but they're not acceptable by mine.
Hondo: Flip a bitch!
Alex: Stop crying. You can buy new friends.
Friday, June 10, 2011
Secret Life of the American Teenager: Grant
C'mon you disease carrying skank, you know I love you.
I'm capable of this kind of romance...if you're into that sort of thing.
I'm capable of this kind of romance...if you're into that sort of thing.
Secret Life of the American Teenager: Leo
I feel like I've got two sons sometimes and both of you are getting in over your heads.
Let's just let sleeping dogs lie, eh?
Just a reminder, when you marry someone you marry their whole family.
There are more than two girls in the universe you know.
Why don't you stop taking full responsibility for once? You always gotta be the hero?
You're too young to be filled with regret.
Let's just let sleeping dogs lie, eh?
Just a reminder, when you marry someone you marry their whole family.
There are more than two girls in the universe you know.
Why don't you stop taking full responsibility for once? You always gotta be the hero?
You're too young to be filled with regret.
Secret Life of the American Teenager: Nora
It's like looking in a mirror before I was into alcohol...drugs...guys...
Who's the big baby? It's like you're stomping your feet and insisting you get some. It makes you less attractive as a man.
You're a good thing. Amy Juergens you're the best thing that ever happened to him.
Being addicted to anything is hell.
For people who don't do drugs or drink, you're all still completely dysfunctional.
Who's the big baby? It's like you're stomping your feet and insisting you get some. It makes you less attractive as a man.
You're a good thing. Amy Juergens you're the best thing that ever happened to him.
Being addicted to anything is hell.
For people who don't do drugs or drink, you're all still completely dysfunctional.
Secret Life of the American Teenager: Madison
Maybe if I sleep with him, he'll feel closer to me than he does to her.
Who do you think you are? Ricky? There's no "we'll see" in this relationship.
Getting married isn't going to guarantee that or anything else.
Your idea of wild is a chocolate shake and a bath?
Who do you think you are? Ricky? There's no "we'll see" in this relationship.
Getting married isn't going to guarantee that or anything else.
Your idea of wild is a chocolate shake and a bath?
Secret Life of the American Teenager: Lauren
Don't bother me, I'm in a state of emergency. Adrian has lost her mind over this wedding.
I heard religious people get all filled with the spirit and have crazy sex.
Breakups come in threes.
That was just a "I want in your pants" I love you, not a "real" I love you!
She violated the best friend code, the girlfriend code, the woman code.
Maybe marriage and babies are easier to think about than being personally successful in a field that we have yet to even know exists.
There's no fairytale ending to being a teen mom.
I heard religious people get all filled with the spirit and have crazy sex.
Breakups come in threes.
That was just a "I want in your pants" I love you, not a "real" I love you!
She violated the best friend code, the girlfriend code, the woman code.
Maybe marriage and babies are easier to think about than being personally successful in a field that we have yet to even know exists.
There's no fairytale ending to being a teen mom.
The Village
Kitty: I love you, Lucius. I love you... like the day is long! I love you more than the sun and the moon together. And if you feel the same way, then we should not hide it any longer. It's a gift, love is! We should be thankful! We should bellow it out with all the breath in our lungs! Thank you! Thank you!
Ivy: [singing to her sister Kitty] Baby sleep, gently sleep / Life is long and love is deep. / Time will be sweet for thee / All the world to see. / Time to look around and know / How the shadows come and go, / How the breeze stirs the tree, / How the blossoms grow.
You may run from sorrow, as we have. Sorrow will find you. It will smell you.
Ivy: My sister cried alot. You wonder how I recognize you? Some people - just a handful, mind you - give off the tiniest color. It's faint. Like a haze. It's the only thing I ever see in the darkness. Papa has it, too. Do you wonder what your color is? Well, that I won't tell you. It's not ladylike to speak of such things. You shouldn't even have asked.
Lucius: You run like a boy.
Ivy: Thank you. I know why you denied my sister. When I was younger... you used to hold my arm when I walked. Then suddenly you stopped. One day, I even tripped in your presence and nearly fell. I was faking, of course, but still you did not hold me. Sometimes we don't do things we want to do so that others won't know we want to do them.
Lucius: Sometimes we don't do things, yet others know we want to do things so we don't do them.
Edward: Do not fret. You are fearless in a way that I shall never know.
Ivy: I do long to do boy things. Like that game the boys play at the stump. They put their backs to the woods and see how long they can wait before getting scared. It's so exciting. I understand you hold the record? It will never be broken they say.
Lucius: It's just childish games.
Ivy: When we are married, will you dance with me? I find dancing very agreeable. Why can you not say what is in your head?
Lucius: Why can you not stop saying what is in yours? Why must you lead, when I want to lead? If I want to dance I will ask you to dance. If I want to speak I will open my mouth and speak. Everyone is forever plaguing me to speak further. Why? What good is it to tell you you are in my every thought from the time I wake? What good can come from my saying that I sometimes cannot think clearly or do my work properly? What gain can rise of my telling you the only time I feel fear as others do is when I think of you in harm? That is why I am on this porch, Ivy Walker. I fear for your safety before all others. And yes, I will dance with you on our wedding night.
Beatrice: It is amazing what two people love chooses to unite. It follows no rules.
Ivy: One love to sacrifice another love is not right.
Lucius: There are different types of love.
Ivy: I am in love.
Edward: I know.
Ivy: He is in love with me.
Edward: I know.
Ivy: If he dies... all that is life to me will die with him. I ask permission... to travel through Covington Woods and go to the towns to retrieve medicines that may save... Lucius Hunt. You are my father. I will listen to you in all things. I will trust your decision.
Edward: The moment I heard my daughter's vision had finally failed her, and that she'd forever be blind, I was sitting in that chair. I was so ashamed.
Edward: You do not know of money, it is not part of our life here. Money can be a wicked thing. It can turn men's hearts black - good men's hearts.
Edward: You are a strong one, Ivy. You lead when others would follow. You see light when there is only darkness. I trust you. I trust you among all others.
Finton: Ivy, there's something in these woods. It turns my stomach to rot. You will be safe. They will not harm you, because you cannot see. They will take pity on you, the way they took pity on Noah when... when he ventured in the woods. They will kill me, Ivy. I cannot stay. You're better in these woods than most boys, anyone would say.
Ivy: It is my burden, Finton. You may go.
Finton: Come with me.
Mrs. Clack: What have you done?
Edward Walker: He is the victim of a crime.
Mrs. Clack: We have agreed never to go back. Never
Edward Walker: What was the purpose of our leaving? Don't forget, it was out of hope of something good and right.
Robert Percy: You should not have made decisions without us!
Edward Walker: I'm guilty, Robert! I made a decision of a heart, I cannot look into another's eyes and see the same look I see in August's without justification! It is too painful, I cannot bear it!
Mrs. Clack: You have jeopardized everything we have made.
Edward Walker: Who do you think will continue this place, this life? Do you plan to live forever? It is in them that our future lies, it is in Ivy and Lucius that this way of life will continue. Yes I have risked, I hope I am always able to risk everything for the just and right cause. If we did not make this decision, we could never again call ourselves innocent, and that in the end is what we have protected here, innocence! That I'm not ready to give up.
August Nicholson: Let her go. If it ends, it ends. We can move towards hope, that's what's beautiful about this place. We cannot run from heartache. My brother was slain in the towns, the rest of my family died here. Heartache is a part of life, we know that now. Ivy is running toward hope, let her run. If this place is worthy, she'll be successful in her quest.
Mrs. Clack: How could you have sent her. She is blind.
Edward Walker: She is more capable than most in this village. And she is led by love. The world moves for love. It kneels before it in awe.
Ivy: [singing to her sister Kitty] Baby sleep, gently sleep / Life is long and love is deep. / Time will be sweet for thee / All the world to see. / Time to look around and know / How the shadows come and go, / How the breeze stirs the tree, / How the blossoms grow.
You may run from sorrow, as we have. Sorrow will find you. It will smell you.
Ivy: My sister cried alot. You wonder how I recognize you? Some people - just a handful, mind you - give off the tiniest color. It's faint. Like a haze. It's the only thing I ever see in the darkness. Papa has it, too. Do you wonder what your color is? Well, that I won't tell you. It's not ladylike to speak of such things. You shouldn't even have asked.
Lucius: You run like a boy.
Ivy: Thank you. I know why you denied my sister. When I was younger... you used to hold my arm when I walked. Then suddenly you stopped. One day, I even tripped in your presence and nearly fell. I was faking, of course, but still you did not hold me. Sometimes we don't do things we want to do so that others won't know we want to do them.
Lucius: Sometimes we don't do things, yet others know we want to do things so we don't do them.
Edward: Do not fret. You are fearless in a way that I shall never know.
Ivy: I do long to do boy things. Like that game the boys play at the stump. They put their backs to the woods and see how long they can wait before getting scared. It's so exciting. I understand you hold the record? It will never be broken they say.
Lucius: It's just childish games.
Ivy: When we are married, will you dance with me? I find dancing very agreeable. Why can you not say what is in your head?
Lucius: Why can you not stop saying what is in yours? Why must you lead, when I want to lead? If I want to dance I will ask you to dance. If I want to speak I will open my mouth and speak. Everyone is forever plaguing me to speak further. Why? What good is it to tell you you are in my every thought from the time I wake? What good can come from my saying that I sometimes cannot think clearly or do my work properly? What gain can rise of my telling you the only time I feel fear as others do is when I think of you in harm? That is why I am on this porch, Ivy Walker. I fear for your safety before all others. And yes, I will dance with you on our wedding night.
Beatrice: It is amazing what two people love chooses to unite. It follows no rules.
Ivy: One love to sacrifice another love is not right.
Lucius: There are different types of love.
Ivy: I am in love.
Edward: I know.
Ivy: He is in love with me.
Edward: I know.
Ivy: If he dies... all that is life to me will die with him. I ask permission... to travel through Covington Woods and go to the towns to retrieve medicines that may save... Lucius Hunt. You are my father. I will listen to you in all things. I will trust your decision.
Edward: The moment I heard my daughter's vision had finally failed her, and that she'd forever be blind, I was sitting in that chair. I was so ashamed.
Edward: You do not know of money, it is not part of our life here. Money can be a wicked thing. It can turn men's hearts black - good men's hearts.
Edward: You are a strong one, Ivy. You lead when others would follow. You see light when there is only darkness. I trust you. I trust you among all others.
Finton: Ivy, there's something in these woods. It turns my stomach to rot. You will be safe. They will not harm you, because you cannot see. They will take pity on you, the way they took pity on Noah when... when he ventured in the woods. They will kill me, Ivy. I cannot stay. You're better in these woods than most boys, anyone would say.
Ivy: It is my burden, Finton. You may go.
Finton: Come with me.
Mrs. Clack: What have you done?
Edward Walker: He is the victim of a crime.
Mrs. Clack: We have agreed never to go back. Never
Edward Walker: What was the purpose of our leaving? Don't forget, it was out of hope of something good and right.
Robert Percy: You should not have made decisions without us!
Edward Walker: I'm guilty, Robert! I made a decision of a heart, I cannot look into another's eyes and see the same look I see in August's without justification! It is too painful, I cannot bear it!
Mrs. Clack: You have jeopardized everything we have made.
Edward Walker: Who do you think will continue this place, this life? Do you plan to live forever? It is in them that our future lies, it is in Ivy and Lucius that this way of life will continue. Yes I have risked, I hope I am always able to risk everything for the just and right cause. If we did not make this decision, we could never again call ourselves innocent, and that in the end is what we have protected here, innocence! That I'm not ready to give up.
August Nicholson: Let her go. If it ends, it ends. We can move towards hope, that's what's beautiful about this place. We cannot run from heartache. My brother was slain in the towns, the rest of my family died here. Heartache is a part of life, we know that now. Ivy is running toward hope, let her run. If this place is worthy, she'll be successful in her quest.
Mrs. Clack: How could you have sent her. She is blind.
Edward Walker: She is more capable than most in this village. And she is led by love. The world moves for love. It kneels before it in awe.
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Yours, Mine, & Ours
Helen: Homes are for free expressions, not for good impressions.
Darrell: You googled another man's wife.
William: Okay, everybody. It's time we call a truce. We need to unite against a greater enemy. And that enemy is Mom and Dad.
William: Trust me, they're biologically protected by the cuteness factor.
Frank: Occasionally, a little pat on the butt sends a clear message.
William: The Admiral always said: "A clean ship is a happy ship."
Now put your hands up in the air, and wave them like you just don't care. And if you think that Kelly is the best, let me hear you say, "Oh Yeah!"
Oh yeah!
Oh yeah?
Oh yeah!
Go Kelly! Go Kelly! The other team is
Smelly!
They're quaking like they're
Jelly!
We got sisters from
New Delhi!
Go Kelly! go Kelly! The other team is smelly! They're quaking like they're jelly! We got sisters from New Delhi!
Darrell: You googled another man's wife.
William: Okay, everybody. It's time we call a truce. We need to unite against a greater enemy. And that enemy is Mom and Dad.
William: Trust me, they're biologically protected by the cuteness factor.
Frank: Occasionally, a little pat on the butt sends a clear message.
William: The Admiral always said: "A clean ship is a happy ship."
Now put your hands up in the air, and wave them like you just don't care. And if you think that Kelly is the best, let me hear you say, "Oh Yeah!"
Oh yeah!
Oh yeah?
Oh yeah!
Go Kelly! Go Kelly! The other team is
Smelly!
They're quaking like they're
Jelly!
We got sisters from
New Delhi!
Go Kelly! go Kelly! The other team is smelly! They're quaking like they're jelly! We got sisters from New Delhi!
Monday, May 9, 2011
Southland: Season One
Only 9,800 police officers patrol the city of Los Angeles, an area of 500 square miles and 4 million people...
Cooper: You are too stupid to live.
Cooper: Asshole Rodeo.
Dudek: What do you call two female officers in a squad car? A tuna boat!
Cooper: Yeah, Tori Spelling threw up all over his brand new patent Mary Jane's.
Cooper: At 0'dark:30 the next time you're up, you will drag your weary ass out of bed, you will put on your gun and your vest and you will do it all over again. You know why? Because this is a front row seat to the greatest show on earth. You wanna abuse it? Yes sir. You can, and you will. I guarantee it, because it is relentless, and it gets to you, and it seems like it changes nothing. But a day like today, with some interesting papers and a few good arrests, that's good. But if once in a while, you get to take a bad guy off the streets for good, then that my friend is God's work. So now you wanna be a pussy and quit? You quit. You're a cop because you don't know how not to be one. If you feel that way, you're a cop. If you don't, you're not. You decide.
Cooper: It is my opinion that despite the circle jerk of tonight, that Officer Ben Sherman performed his duties to the highest standard. He is and will continue to be a superior police officer. We will be very lucky if he serves this sworn career with the Los Angeles police.
Cooper: You may be a great shot, but you don't know shit about being a cop.
Cooper: Number one: Things aren't always what they seem. The victim may be the suspect. The suspect may be the victim. Number two: Wait for us. You do not take action by yourself. We work as partners.
Adams: Right, you get an award for saving lives, not taking them.
Dead unidentified female victims in Los Angeles are often called Sally in the Alley. Our detectives wanted to give this one a name.
Cooper: You are too stupid to live.
Cooper: Asshole Rodeo.
Dudek: What do you call two female officers in a squad car? A tuna boat!
Cooper: Yeah, Tori Spelling threw up all over his brand new patent Mary Jane's.
Cooper: At 0'dark:30 the next time you're up, you will drag your weary ass out of bed, you will put on your gun and your vest and you will do it all over again. You know why? Because this is a front row seat to the greatest show on earth. You wanna abuse it? Yes sir. You can, and you will. I guarantee it, because it is relentless, and it gets to you, and it seems like it changes nothing. But a day like today, with some interesting papers and a few good arrests, that's good. But if once in a while, you get to take a bad guy off the streets for good, then that my friend is God's work. So now you wanna be a pussy and quit? You quit. You're a cop because you don't know how not to be one. If you feel that way, you're a cop. If you don't, you're not. You decide.
Cooper: It is my opinion that despite the circle jerk of tonight, that Officer Ben Sherman performed his duties to the highest standard. He is and will continue to be a superior police officer. We will be very lucky if he serves this sworn career with the Los Angeles police.
Cooper: You may be a great shot, but you don't know shit about being a cop.
Cooper: Number one: Things aren't always what they seem. The victim may be the suspect. The suspect may be the victim. Number two: Wait for us. You do not take action by yourself. We work as partners.
Adams: Right, you get an award for saving lives, not taking them.
Dead unidentified female victims in Los Angeles are often called Sally in the Alley. Our detectives wanted to give this one a name.
Saturday, May 7, 2011
27 Dresses
Kevin: What color is that - vomit?
Kevin: You'd rather focus on other people's Kodak moments than make memories of your own!
Jane: You tell him the truth or I will.
Tess: No, you won't. You wouldn't hurt a fly and you definitely wouldn't hurt me, I'm your sister.
Jane: That was yesterday. Today you're just some bitch who broke my heart and cut up my mother's wedding dress.
Kevin: Love is patient, love is kind, love means slowly losing your mind
Jane's Aunt: Must be so hard to watch your younger sister get married before you.
Jane: Yes. Then I remember that I still get to have hot hate sex with random strangers and I feel SO much better!
Jane: I feel like I just found out my favorite love song was written about a sandwich.
Kevin: No, but Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Drunk were bugging me.
Jane: I think you should just admit that you're a big softy, that this whole cynical thing is just an act so that you can seem wounded and mysterious and sexy...
Kevin: You kinda look like a shiny mermaid.
Jane: Wanna go find the ugliest stuff in the store and register Tess for it?
Casey: [after Jane turns down a drink offer from George] He asks if you want a drink. You smile and say, 'Vodka soda.' If you already have a drink, you down it. Then there's some flirting, some interoffice sex, an accidental pregnancy, a shot gun wedding, and a life of bliss. How many times do we have to go over this?
Jane: God, Casey, can't you keep it in your pants for one wedding?
Casey: Are you kidding? The only reason to wear this monstrous dress is that so some drunken groomsman can rip it to shreds with his teeth.
Jane: How refreshing! A man who doesn't believe in marriage.
Kevin: I'm just trying to point out the hypocrisy of the spectacle.
Jane: Oh! That's so noble of you. Do you also go around telling small children that Santa Claus doesn't exist? 'Cause someone needs to blow that shit wide open.
Kevin: A-ha! So you admit that believe in marriage is kind of like believing in Santa Claus!
Casey: What good is it being appreciated if no one is naked?
Jane: You write the most beautiful things. Do you actually believe in love and marriage and just pretend to be a cynic or are you actually a cynic who knows how to spin romantic crap for girls like me?
Kevin: I didn't follow that at all, but I think the second one, the spinning crap one.
Casey: So what happened?
Jane: He needed to know the truth.
Casey: You could have told him face-to-face. I mean, I know my moral compass doesn't exactly point due north, but... if I say something's wrong, something's wrong.
Jane: You're the one who's always telling me to stand up for myself.
Casey: Yeah, but that's not what you did. What you did was unleash twenty years of repressed feelings in one night. It was entertaining, don't get me wrong, but if it was the right thing to do, you'd feel better right now. Do you feel better right now?
Tess: "If Jane is the prototypical accommodating bridesmaid, then her sister Tess is cast as the overbearing, overindulged bride-to-be who at any moment might start stomping around Manhattan, breathing fire, and swatting planes from the sky."
Jane: I had no idea he was writing an article about me.
Tess: You? He called me Bridezilla! In the New York freaking Journal! I could tear him apart limb from limb!
Kevin: You'd rather focus on other people's Kodak moments than make memories of your own!
Jane: You tell him the truth or I will.
Tess: No, you won't. You wouldn't hurt a fly and you definitely wouldn't hurt me, I'm your sister.
Jane: That was yesterday. Today you're just some bitch who broke my heart and cut up my mother's wedding dress.
Kevin: Love is patient, love is kind, love means slowly losing your mind
Jane's Aunt: Must be so hard to watch your younger sister get married before you.
Jane: Yes. Then I remember that I still get to have hot hate sex with random strangers and I feel SO much better!
Jane: I feel like I just found out my favorite love song was written about a sandwich.
Kevin: No, but Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Drunk were bugging me.
Jane: I think you should just admit that you're a big softy, that this whole cynical thing is just an act so that you can seem wounded and mysterious and sexy...
Kevin: You kinda look like a shiny mermaid.
Jane: Wanna go find the ugliest stuff in the store and register Tess for it?
Casey: [after Jane turns down a drink offer from George] He asks if you want a drink. You smile and say, 'Vodka soda.' If you already have a drink, you down it. Then there's some flirting, some interoffice sex, an accidental pregnancy, a shot gun wedding, and a life of bliss. How many times do we have to go over this?
Jane: God, Casey, can't you keep it in your pants for one wedding?
Casey: Are you kidding? The only reason to wear this monstrous dress is that so some drunken groomsman can rip it to shreds with his teeth.
Jane: How refreshing! A man who doesn't believe in marriage.
Kevin: I'm just trying to point out the hypocrisy of the spectacle.
Jane: Oh! That's so noble of you. Do you also go around telling small children that Santa Claus doesn't exist? 'Cause someone needs to blow that shit wide open.
Kevin: A-ha! So you admit that believe in marriage is kind of like believing in Santa Claus!
Casey: What good is it being appreciated if no one is naked?
Jane: You write the most beautiful things. Do you actually believe in love and marriage and just pretend to be a cynic or are you actually a cynic who knows how to spin romantic crap for girls like me?
Kevin: I didn't follow that at all, but I think the second one, the spinning crap one.
Casey: So what happened?
Jane: He needed to know the truth.
Casey: You could have told him face-to-face. I mean, I know my moral compass doesn't exactly point due north, but... if I say something's wrong, something's wrong.
Jane: You're the one who's always telling me to stand up for myself.
Casey: Yeah, but that's not what you did. What you did was unleash twenty years of repressed feelings in one night. It was entertaining, don't get me wrong, but if it was the right thing to do, you'd feel better right now. Do you feel better right now?
Tess: "If Jane is the prototypical accommodating bridesmaid, then her sister Tess is cast as the overbearing, overindulged bride-to-be who at any moment might start stomping around Manhattan, breathing fire, and swatting planes from the sky."
Jane: I had no idea he was writing an article about me.
Tess: You? He called me Bridezilla! In the New York freaking Journal! I could tear him apart limb from limb!
Just Like Heaven
J.J.: God gave us alcohol as a social lubricant. Make men brave, make women loose.
J.J.: See this? This is the world. Join it. Stop swimming around in your mind. That is a dangerous neighborhood you should not go into alone.
Elizabeth: All I know is that when I'm not with you it's like I don't exist.
Elizabeth: Look, you have two realities to choose from: First one being that a woman has come into your life in a very unconventional way and she happens to need your assistance. The second one is that you're an insane person, and you're sitting on a park bench right now talking to yourself.
Dave: You're like an AM radio someone shoved in my head and I can't turn off.
Elizabeth: I may have been a lonely home-wrecking whore, but I saved lives!
Darryl: Can't you feel that, man? There's like this cancer-causing ray of spirit hate searing right towards your body.
Katrina: Osama, communism is way over, so like give your people some toilet paper.
J.J.: See this? This is the world. Join it. Stop swimming around in your mind. That is a dangerous neighborhood you should not go into alone.
Elizabeth: All I know is that when I'm not with you it's like I don't exist.
Elizabeth: Look, you have two realities to choose from: First one being that a woman has come into your life in a very unconventional way and she happens to need your assistance. The second one is that you're an insane person, and you're sitting on a park bench right now talking to yourself.
Dave: You're like an AM radio someone shoved in my head and I can't turn off.
Elizabeth: I may have been a lonely home-wrecking whore, but I saved lives!
Darryl: Can't you feel that, man? There's like this cancer-causing ray of spirit hate searing right towards your body.
Katrina: Osama, communism is way over, so like give your people some toilet paper.
Friday, May 6, 2011
Jersey Girl
Boy 1: My mom says that me and my dad have very healthy appetites.
Girl 1: My mom and dad are very religious. When they're in their bedroom at night, I always hear them yelling, "Jesus!"
Boy 2: My mom says my dad's eyes are brown because he is so full of sh-
Boy 3: My brother Jack is in eighth grade. He told me to ask my dad who he voted for, for President. I did and my Dad said he's a total Bush-man. That made my brother laugh really hard.
Boy 4: Whenever my Uncle Stu comes over to play pool with my dad, my mom says the basement smells like a Cheech and Chong movie
Boy 5: Well, it's like this. My dog ate my paper. I checked, but he didn't poop it out.
Gertie: My dad says life can be split into two categories: New Jersey... and New York. My dad was a Jersey boy who became the youngest and most successful music publicist in New York City. By the time he was 27, he had 100 people working for him. And even though they all loved him, he loved them even more. Daddy loved his job, but not as much as he loved my mom. Mommy was a book editor in New York City when her and Daddy met. Daddy said their jobs were kind of the same. They made slight corrections for their clients. Daddy worked so much that sometimes Mommy could only see him late at night. Daddy says that's why they both loved the city so much, it never went to sleep. And neither did he and Mommy. By after a year of romancing in the city Daddy said it was time to show Mommy where he came from. So he took her home to New Jersey and put her through what he said was the biggest test their love would ever face: "Introducing her to my pop". So that night, Daddy took Mommy to Pop's bar, where she got to meet Pop's other children, his best friends Greenie and Block. Daddy said because Mommy survived her first trip to Jersey he knew she was a keeper. He said they celebrated their engagement by going out for pizza. And that's how I got here. And with that, everyone lived happily ever after. Almost.
Ollie: Because George Michael is a pimp who is all about the ladies, my friend. Come on, "I Want Your Sex"? That sound like he's singing to a guy?
Ollie: That juice is called grease, Dad. It's bad for you. It clogs your arteries.
Bart: It's called juice. And it greases a father's insides so that he can better swallow the shit his son feeds him twice a year when he can be bothered coming to visit him.
Ollie: He's a two bit TV actor, who won't be around any longer than it takes for the ink to dry on the pages of the worthless rags you jerk-offs write for!
Maya: Man cannot live on porn alone.
Gertie: What are your intentions? What are your intentions with my father? Do you plan on marrying him? Because I was taught that only married girls show their girl parts to boys. Right, Daddy?
Girl 1: My mom and dad are very religious. When they're in their bedroom at night, I always hear them yelling, "Jesus!"
Boy 2: My mom says my dad's eyes are brown because he is so full of sh-
Boy 3: My brother Jack is in eighth grade. He told me to ask my dad who he voted for, for President. I did and my Dad said he's a total Bush-man. That made my brother laugh really hard.
Boy 4: Whenever my Uncle Stu comes over to play pool with my dad, my mom says the basement smells like a Cheech and Chong movie
Boy 5: Well, it's like this. My dog ate my paper. I checked, but he didn't poop it out.
Gertie: My dad says life can be split into two categories: New Jersey... and New York. My dad was a Jersey boy who became the youngest and most successful music publicist in New York City. By the time he was 27, he had 100 people working for him. And even though they all loved him, he loved them even more. Daddy loved his job, but not as much as he loved my mom. Mommy was a book editor in New York City when her and Daddy met. Daddy said their jobs were kind of the same. They made slight corrections for their clients. Daddy worked so much that sometimes Mommy could only see him late at night. Daddy says that's why they both loved the city so much, it never went to sleep. And neither did he and Mommy. By after a year of romancing in the city Daddy said it was time to show Mommy where he came from. So he took her home to New Jersey and put her through what he said was the biggest test their love would ever face: "Introducing her to my pop". So that night, Daddy took Mommy to Pop's bar, where she got to meet Pop's other children, his best friends Greenie and Block. Daddy said because Mommy survived her first trip to Jersey he knew she was a keeper. He said they celebrated their engagement by going out for pizza. And that's how I got here. And with that, everyone lived happily ever after. Almost.
Ollie: Because George Michael is a pimp who is all about the ladies, my friend. Come on, "I Want Your Sex"? That sound like he's singing to a guy?
Ollie: That juice is called grease, Dad. It's bad for you. It clogs your arteries.
Bart: It's called juice. And it greases a father's insides so that he can better swallow the shit his son feeds him twice a year when he can be bothered coming to visit him.
Ollie: He's a two bit TV actor, who won't be around any longer than it takes for the ink to dry on the pages of the worthless rags you jerk-offs write for!
Maya: Man cannot live on porn alone.
Gertie: What are your intentions? What are your intentions with my father? Do you plan on marrying him? Because I was taught that only married girls show their girl parts to boys. Right, Daddy?
What a Girl Wants
Daphne: My name is Daphne Reynolds and I was born in New York City. I've lived my whole life with my mom in a fifth-floor walk-up in Chinatown. It's always been just the two of us, me and Libby. But every year on my birthday, I'd make a wish. That someone else could be there too. And every year when he didn't come, I'd ask my mom to tell me the same story.
Libby: Once upon a time, there was a young, very cool singer named Libby, who one day decided to go out and see the world. Little did she know that in the deserts of Morocco, fate was waiting for her. And his name was Henry. They fell madly, passionately, hopelessly in love and were married by the chief of a Bedouin tribe. Henry brought her back to England to meet his family so they could get married for real. But fate was not so kind this time. She was definitely not what they were expecting. But when Henry's father suddenly died, Libby knew there'd be more pressure on him to lead a certain kind of life because he was now Lord Dashwood and Libby was no one's idea of a lady. So even though it broke her heart, she knew she had to leave him. But a few months later, fate gave her the greatest gift of all: a beautiful baby girl named Daphne.
Libby: Daph, getting to know someone because they share the same DNA with you isn't the answer. It's about getting to know yourself.
Libby: I love you a million Swedish fish.
Daphne: I love you a million red M&M's.
Daphne: I thought that maybe the answer was taking a year or two off before college to find out what I'm supposed to do with my life. But deep down, I think I've always known, what I really need more than anything else in the world is to find him, to find my dad. Mom, you've always said it was up to me to write the rest of my story but you've been writing it for me, Mom. Now it has to be my turn.
Ian: I should warn you, the dog and bone's on the blink and we've no lift here. Phone is broken. Elevator, none.
Lady Dashwood: No hugs, dear. I'm British. We only show affection to dogs and horses.
Clarissa: Turn up in a sensible dress and some pearls and you might as well wear a sign saying, "Spot the Plonker."
Lady Dashwood: It means, ducky, hang in there, and you'll rock!
Ian: Why are you trying so hard to fit in when you're born to stand out?
Daphne: I really wish you'd pull your lip over your head and swallow it.
Ian: Cool. Just call me when Daphne re-inhabits your body.
Lady Dashwood: You know, my dear, it's not the crown that makes the queen. It's what's in here.
Libby: Take your hand off my daughter or you won't get a scene, you'll get a Broadway musical.
Daphne: Every birthday I would get all dressed up and I would wish that, if I was good enough you would come and find me. And now here I am, in the most beautiful dress I could ever imagine and you're here. You know what I miss now? I miss being me. I finally realized that is enough.
Lord Dashwood: Representing you would undoubtedly be the greatest honor of my political life. It would simply be impossible to do so if I'm not serving my own conscience. See, I've changed. And as important as my political aspirations are to me, there is one thing that matters more. Thank you.
Lord Dashwood: What it comes down to is, is that I love you, Daphne. I love you. I'm so sorry. I wouldn't change you, anything about you. I wouldn't change one hair on your head. Not for anything.
Lord Dashwood: Listen, Daphne, I just think when you're groveling it's important to bring a very large present.
Daphne: So I finally got my father-daughter dance. Of course it got interrupted when my boyfriend showed up. And then my parents started making out. But sometimes things aren't exactly how you always imagined. They're even better.
Daphne: Oh, just in case you were wondering what happened to Clarissa and Glynnis... don't worry. They ended up exactly as they should. So did Alistair. This is the closest he ever got to Parliament. My parents got married again. This time, it was legal. I think. As for me, I didn't end up at NYU. But before you get too disappointed, I did get into Oxford. What can I say? Like father, like daughter. It was my own happily ever after.
Libby: Once upon a time, there was a young, very cool singer named Libby, who one day decided to go out and see the world. Little did she know that in the deserts of Morocco, fate was waiting for her. And his name was Henry. They fell madly, passionately, hopelessly in love and were married by the chief of a Bedouin tribe. Henry brought her back to England to meet his family so they could get married for real. But fate was not so kind this time. She was definitely not what they were expecting. But when Henry's father suddenly died, Libby knew there'd be more pressure on him to lead a certain kind of life because he was now Lord Dashwood and Libby was no one's idea of a lady. So even though it broke her heart, she knew she had to leave him. But a few months later, fate gave her the greatest gift of all: a beautiful baby girl named Daphne.
Libby: Daph, getting to know someone because they share the same DNA with you isn't the answer. It's about getting to know yourself.
Libby: I love you a million Swedish fish.
Daphne: I love you a million red M&M's.
Daphne: I thought that maybe the answer was taking a year or two off before college to find out what I'm supposed to do with my life. But deep down, I think I've always known, what I really need more than anything else in the world is to find him, to find my dad. Mom, you've always said it was up to me to write the rest of my story but you've been writing it for me, Mom. Now it has to be my turn.
Ian: I should warn you, the dog and bone's on the blink and we've no lift here. Phone is broken. Elevator, none.
Lady Dashwood: No hugs, dear. I'm British. We only show affection to dogs and horses.
Clarissa: Turn up in a sensible dress and some pearls and you might as well wear a sign saying, "Spot the Plonker."
Lady Dashwood: It means, ducky, hang in there, and you'll rock!
Ian: Why are you trying so hard to fit in when you're born to stand out?
Daphne: I really wish you'd pull your lip over your head and swallow it.
Ian: Cool. Just call me when Daphne re-inhabits your body.
Lady Dashwood: You know, my dear, it's not the crown that makes the queen. It's what's in here.
Libby: Take your hand off my daughter or you won't get a scene, you'll get a Broadway musical.
Daphne: Every birthday I would get all dressed up and I would wish that, if I was good enough you would come and find me. And now here I am, in the most beautiful dress I could ever imagine and you're here. You know what I miss now? I miss being me. I finally realized that is enough.
Lord Dashwood: Representing you would undoubtedly be the greatest honor of my political life. It would simply be impossible to do so if I'm not serving my own conscience. See, I've changed. And as important as my political aspirations are to me, there is one thing that matters more. Thank you.
Lord Dashwood: What it comes down to is, is that I love you, Daphne. I love you. I'm so sorry. I wouldn't change you, anything about you. I wouldn't change one hair on your head. Not for anything.
Lord Dashwood: Listen, Daphne, I just think when you're groveling it's important to bring a very large present.
Daphne: So I finally got my father-daughter dance. Of course it got interrupted when my boyfriend showed up. And then my parents started making out. But sometimes things aren't exactly how you always imagined. They're even better.
Daphne: Oh, just in case you were wondering what happened to Clarissa and Glynnis... don't worry. They ended up exactly as they should. So did Alistair. This is the closest he ever got to Parliament. My parents got married again. This time, it was legal. I think. As for me, I didn't end up at NYU. But before you get too disappointed, I did get into Oxford. What can I say? Like father, like daughter. It was my own happily ever after.
Thursday, May 5, 2011
Head Over Heels
Amanda: This is Grinell, Iowa, my hometown, where all my family and friends live. But I'm not there now. I'm here, New York City. Home to eight million people, roughly half of whom are men. Which means half of the city is genetically predisposed to lie to the other half. You see, I'm the woman who has the world's worst judgment in men. I know what you're thinking. You might think that you do, but you don't. I do. My grade school boyfriend, Tommy, left me for someone with boobs. My high school boyfriend, Charlie, left me for, well, someone who didn't have any boobs. But that's all behind me now. I have a great job restoring paintings at the Metropolitan Museum. I'm in the Renaissance art division, where the men are easier to deal with.
Amanda: maybe that's why I like art better than real life. They can stay in love forever.
Polly: Nothing, just that you're going to die alone.
Amanda: Seriously, why do I need a personal life if my work makes me happy?
Polly: Because work isn't enough. You need someone to share your life with. And if you give up on that now, it might not be so easy to find later.
Holly: Okay, remember, when you walk in you're the most beautiful woman in the room.
Roxanna: Well, you're in the top four.
Roxanna: Oh, and most important, don't forget to turn them on, the headlights.
Amanda: maybe that's why I like art better than real life. They can stay in love forever.
Polly: Nothing, just that you're going to die alone.
Amanda: Seriously, why do I need a personal life if my work makes me happy?
Polly: Because work isn't enough. You need someone to share your life with. And if you give up on that now, it might not be so easy to find later.
Holly: Okay, remember, when you walk in you're the most beautiful woman in the room.
Roxanna: Well, you're in the top four.
Roxanna: Oh, and most important, don't forget to turn them on, the headlights.
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
I Am Number Four
John: This is the part I hate the most: the running. But it's the only thing in my life that is real. The rest is a lie, even Henry. People think he's my father, he's not. He's a warrior from my planet, designed to keep me alive. I don't remember my father. All he left for me was some kind of box. Henry says he'll pass it on to me when the time is right. I got my first scar when I was nine years old, at the border of Mexico. It woke me in my sleep. It was the first sign that the Mogadorians had found us here on Earth. The second scar came when I was twelve. I was in Colorado, in the middle of a spelling bee. As soon as I felt it, I knew Number Two was dead. Last night I got my third scar. I was just a kid when the Mogadorians invaded my planet. Nine of us children escaped. We were gifted, meant to protect our people when we grew up. We never got the chance, everyone was killed. We are the last of our kind. Three of us are gone. Dead. They are hunting us down one by one in order. I know I am next. I am Number Four.
Dad: Worst advice you ever got? Pull this.
Mom: Your parents will never know you're gone.
Sarah: Oh, mom. Telling me that self tanner looks totally natural.
Brother: She was orange.
Sarah: Like a traffic cone, on picture day.
John: What, you're allowed to look at everyone else-take our pictures- and we're not allowed see you?
Sarah: Okay, that's enough.
John: Seems like you want to run away.
Sarah: Just be happy when I can get out of here.
John: I don't know - been to a lot of places...
Sarah: You don't have to give me that "there's no place like home" speech, I've heard it.
John: No, No. You can go wherever you want. See whatever you want to but, um... a place is only as good as the people you know in it. I... I think this is a pretty good place.
Mark: Did you have a nice time last night, John? You see, in football, a quarterback needs a few things: speed, strength, mostly though, you need intuition. A feeling when things are going south. First time we talked I should have listened to mine. There you go, John. Good boy. Maybe you got some intuition working for you too.
John: It's not my fight and it never was. I can't even remember a world before this one.
Sam: My entire childhood has been an episode of X-files. You know what it's like to feel something so strong, and everyday you keep telling yourself your Dad's gonna come back and take you away from this shit hole? And that everything that we believed in was true, and that we're not crazy. Please.
Number 6: Red bullets is for pussies.
John: This is the first time I've left without Henry. But also the first one I have a reason to come back to. Henry was right. We're stronger together. So we will find the others. My planet is called Lorian, but Earth is my home now. It is as good a place as any in the universe, and that's how it's going to stay.
Dad: Worst advice you ever got? Pull this.
Mom: Your parents will never know you're gone.
Sarah: Oh, mom. Telling me that self tanner looks totally natural.
Brother: She was orange.
Sarah: Like a traffic cone, on picture day.
John: What, you're allowed to look at everyone else-take our pictures- and we're not allowed see you?
Sarah: Okay, that's enough.
John: Seems like you want to run away.
Sarah: Just be happy when I can get out of here.
John: I don't know - been to a lot of places...
Sarah: You don't have to give me that "there's no place like home" speech, I've heard it.
John: No, No. You can go wherever you want. See whatever you want to but, um... a place is only as good as the people you know in it. I... I think this is a pretty good place.
Mark: Did you have a nice time last night, John? You see, in football, a quarterback needs a few things: speed, strength, mostly though, you need intuition. A feeling when things are going south. First time we talked I should have listened to mine. There you go, John. Good boy. Maybe you got some intuition working for you too.
John: It's not my fight and it never was. I can't even remember a world before this one.
Sam: My entire childhood has been an episode of X-files. You know what it's like to feel something so strong, and everyday you keep telling yourself your Dad's gonna come back and take you away from this shit hole? And that everything that we believed in was true, and that we're not crazy. Please.
Number 6: Red bullets is for pussies.
John: This is the first time I've left without Henry. But also the first one I have a reason to come back to. Henry was right. We're stronger together. So we will find the others. My planet is called Lorian, but Earth is my home now. It is as good a place as any in the universe, and that's how it's going to stay.
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Final Destination 3
Jason: The real fear of these rides comes from the feeling of having no control. Everyone imagines weird stuff when they get scared. But it never turns out to be what they imagine. Never.
Erin: A roller coaster is just elemental physics. A conversion of potential energy to kinetic energy.
McKinley: Yeah. Odds are like one in 250 million of dying in a roller coaster.
McKinley: You're more likely to die driving to an amusement park than dying at one.
Priest: We may feel that our lives are not our own. That Death controls, frames our lives. Our birth's nothing but death begun. Yet, whether it is with this tragic loss of young lives, which we have suffered much of late, or with a soft passing of the elderly in the night, we are all equal in Death's eyes.
McKinley: "Equal in Death's eyes?" Seriously? How can you say that? Dude, think it through. Charlie Manson made it to 70. Osama, still kickin'. Pimps, vice-presidents walking around. All the atrocities they've committed, they're alive and well. These two girls, who'd never done shit to anybody, they don't get to make it to 18? Where's the fucking equality in that?
Frankie: Seein' women as nothing but fun bags. I mean, if I'd have seen their, whatever, humanity, they wouldn't have felt the pressure to look so good. Impress Franklin Cheeks. Go on diets. Deodorize. Stretch. Tan.
Wendy: If there's any place that makes you feel like there's no life after death, it's a cemetery.
Kevin: It's never better staying ignorant. Willful ignorance is surrendering control.
Lewis: Lewis ain't afraid of no death. Fuck Death! Death is a fucking Denver fan. Death wear blue and orange. Real men wear black. Lewis ain't afraid of no Death. Death is afraid of me! Death fears me!
McKinley: We're biological entities and Death is just the end of biological function. It's as simple as that.
McKinley: Kevin, how come when a guy dies of a plain heart attack no one goes, "Oh, wow, he was eating French toast when Princess Diana died in Paris and then he saw her funeral on TV, and now he's dead"? You know why? Because they'd sound crazy so guess how you two sound right now? Crazy.
McKinley: So, Newton's third law of motion, and well, look I'm just guessing that it goes for Death too when he's working in our world. Newton says that every action has an equal and opposite reaction. So, that means that if Death has taken action, so can we. And that action we take has an opposite reaction that thwarts Death's intent. What if, for example, the last in line were to make the utilitarian choice... Kill themselves. Wow! Wow! That's going to ruin any plan that Death's put in motion. And even better, hey, it's gonna save five skipped lives. Any takers? Nah, I didn't think so.
Erin: A roller coaster is just elemental physics. A conversion of potential energy to kinetic energy.
McKinley: Yeah. Odds are like one in 250 million of dying in a roller coaster.
McKinley: You're more likely to die driving to an amusement park than dying at one.
Priest: We may feel that our lives are not our own. That Death controls, frames our lives. Our birth's nothing but death begun. Yet, whether it is with this tragic loss of young lives, which we have suffered much of late, or with a soft passing of the elderly in the night, we are all equal in Death's eyes.
McKinley: "Equal in Death's eyes?" Seriously? How can you say that? Dude, think it through. Charlie Manson made it to 70. Osama, still kickin'. Pimps, vice-presidents walking around. All the atrocities they've committed, they're alive and well. These two girls, who'd never done shit to anybody, they don't get to make it to 18? Where's the fucking equality in that?
Frankie: Seein' women as nothing but fun bags. I mean, if I'd have seen their, whatever, humanity, they wouldn't have felt the pressure to look so good. Impress Franklin Cheeks. Go on diets. Deodorize. Stretch. Tan.
Wendy: If there's any place that makes you feel like there's no life after death, it's a cemetery.
Kevin: It's never better staying ignorant. Willful ignorance is surrendering control.
Lewis: Lewis ain't afraid of no death. Fuck Death! Death is a fucking Denver fan. Death wear blue and orange. Real men wear black. Lewis ain't afraid of no Death. Death is afraid of me! Death fears me!
McKinley: We're biological entities and Death is just the end of biological function. It's as simple as that.
McKinley: Kevin, how come when a guy dies of a plain heart attack no one goes, "Oh, wow, he was eating French toast when Princess Diana died in Paris and then he saw her funeral on TV, and now he's dead"? You know why? Because they'd sound crazy so guess how you two sound right now? Crazy.
McKinley: So, Newton's third law of motion, and well, look I'm just guessing that it goes for Death too when he's working in our world. Newton says that every action has an equal and opposite reaction. So, that means that if Death has taken action, so can we. And that action we take has an opposite reaction that thwarts Death's intent. What if, for example, the last in line were to make the utilitarian choice... Kill themselves. Wow! Wow! That's going to ruin any plan that Death's put in motion. And even better, hey, it's gonna save five skipped lives. Any takers? Nah, I didn't think so.
Final Destination 2
Nora: I think you're a coward. You hide out in here because you're too bitter and selfish to help any other person. In my opinion, you're already dead.
Tim: If he gives me the gas and I end up with my pants unbuttoned, we ain't payin'.
Clear: If the design is flawed, it can be beaten.
Undertaker: People are always most alive, just before they die, don't you think?
Undertaker: Only new life can defeat death. Some people say there's a balance to everything. Where there's a life, there's a death, and death, there is a life. But the introduction to life that was not meant to be, that can validate the list, force death to start anew.
Tim: If he gives me the gas and I end up with my pants unbuttoned, we ain't payin'.
Clear: If the design is flawed, it can be beaten.
Undertaker: People are always most alive, just before they die, don't you think?
Undertaker: Only new life can defeat death. Some people say there's a balance to everything. Where there's a life, there's a death, and death, there is a life. But the introduction to life that was not meant to be, that can validate the list, force death to start anew.
Final Destination
Tod: We say that the hour of death cannot be forecast. But when we say this, we imagine that the hour is placed in an obscure and distant future. It never occurs to us that it has any connection with the day already begun, or that death could arrive this same afternoon - this afternoon which is so certain, and which has every hour filled in advance.
Undertaker: In death there are no accidents, no coincidences, no mishaps, and no escapes. What you have to realize is that we're all just a mouse a cat has by the tail. Every single move we make from the mundane to the monumental, the red light that we stop at or run, the people we have sex with or won't with us, the airplanes that we ride or walk out of, it's all part of death's sadistic design leading to the grave.
Terri: Enough! Both of you. They died, and we lived. Get over it. I will not let this plane crash be the most important thing in my life! I'm moving on, Carter, and if you want to waste your life beating the shit out of Alex every time you see him, then you can just drop fucking dead.
Alex: If I see it, I can intervene. If I intervene, I cheat the design.
Alex: God's not afraid to die. Gods don't die! We do!
Alex: Tetanus. Nice one. I overlooked it. You tried to capitalize, but I caught you. You fuck! I can beat you. Maybe not forever, but I've got this cabin rigged to beat you now.
Undertaker: In death there are no accidents, no coincidences, no mishaps, and no escapes. What you have to realize is that we're all just a mouse a cat has by the tail. Every single move we make from the mundane to the monumental, the red light that we stop at or run, the people we have sex with or won't with us, the airplanes that we ride or walk out of, it's all part of death's sadistic design leading to the grave.
Terri: Enough! Both of you. They died, and we lived. Get over it. I will not let this plane crash be the most important thing in my life! I'm moving on, Carter, and if you want to waste your life beating the shit out of Alex every time you see him, then you can just drop fucking dead.
Alex: If I see it, I can intervene. If I intervene, I cheat the design.
Alex: God's not afraid to die. Gods don't die! We do!
Alex: Tetanus. Nice one. I overlooked it. You tried to capitalize, but I caught you. You fuck! I can beat you. Maybe not forever, but I've got this cabin rigged to beat you now.
Monday, May 2, 2011
Crossroads
Lucy: When we were ten, growing up in Georgia, Mimi, Kit, and I knew exactly what we wanted out of life. So we put our dreams in a box and we buried it. We made a pact to dig it up at midnight the day of our high school graduation. Now I don't remember what our wishes were except for one: We wished that we'd be best friends forever. Well, that wish didn't come true.
Henry: Reason 1: We've been lab partners for three years. So we really trust each other. Trust is very important. Reason 2: We are both 18 and never done it. Very Important. Reason 3: We both want to do it. Reason 4: Please, Lucy, come on. I'm begging you. Let's just do it.
Mimi: It's not stealing if he's in the car with us.
Lucy: I used to think I had the answers to everything. But now I know life doesn't always go my way.It feels like I'm caught in the middle and that's when I realize that I'm not a girl and not yet a woman. All I need is time, just a moment that's mine. And while I'm in between, I'm not a girl.
Lucy: She said that she never wanted me. She said that my father made her have me. And that I was just a mistake.
Lucy: This time, we didn't make any wishes for the future. We said goodbye to our past. Now, any of us has any idea where life is gonna take us, cause what he have is now, and right now, we have each other.
Henry: Reason 1: We've been lab partners for three years. So we really trust each other. Trust is very important. Reason 2: We are both 18 and never done it. Very Important. Reason 3: We both want to do it. Reason 4: Please, Lucy, come on. I'm begging you. Let's just do it.
Mimi: It's not stealing if he's in the car with us.
Lucy: I used to think I had the answers to everything. But now I know life doesn't always go my way.It feels like I'm caught in the middle and that's when I realize that I'm not a girl and not yet a woman. All I need is time, just a moment that's mine. And while I'm in between, I'm not a girl.
Lucy: She said that she never wanted me. She said that my father made her have me. And that I was just a mistake.
Lucy: This time, we didn't make any wishes for the future. We said goodbye to our past. Now, any of us has any idea where life is gonna take us, cause what he have is now, and right now, we have each other.
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Take the Lead
Eddie: Damn son, what'd you do that for? She wasn't carryin' nothin', she could've opened the door her damn self.
Pierre: It's called courtesy.
Eddie: Yeah, well it makes you look like a punk ass.
Eddie: Punk ass moves like that won't get you no play around here. Trust me, I've tried it.
Pierre: Caitlin, you like dancing?
Caitlin: Yeah.
Pierre: Then you were made to dance.
Pierre: You need to dance for yourself, not for anybody else.
Pierre: In ancient times, it was believe that any man who could kill with .speed and accuracy should be able to dance with grace as well. Ballroom dancing is kings and empresis. It is the dance of strength, romance, and love.
Eddie: Look son, you're talking about a whole bunch of rich white folk, slave runners. I mean, I've never seen Martin Luther King do a waltz.
Danja: Why is that every time you want to fly something by us you claim it's got ties to Africa? But every time you get scared or mad, you blame it on African killer bees, African ebola virus, freakin West Nile fever?!
Rock: Doctor's note. Can't dance, got a heart condition.
Pierre: I see. Interesting man, your doctor. Not many physicians write notes on three hole punch paper.
Pierre: Ballroom dancing is about two bodies moving as one.
Caitlin: It's like sex on hardwood. I would kill if I could dance like that.
Eddie: Check Mr. Dulaine just getting his flirt on.
Principal Augustine: For these kids life is a fight to stay alive, and a hustle to make ends meet. Not ballroom dancing.
Pierre: To follow takes as much strength as to lead.
Pierre: It's called courtesy.
Eddie: Yeah, well it makes you look like a punk ass.
Eddie: Punk ass moves like that won't get you no play around here. Trust me, I've tried it.
Pierre: Caitlin, you like dancing?
Caitlin: Yeah.
Pierre: Then you were made to dance.
Pierre: You need to dance for yourself, not for anybody else.
Pierre: In ancient times, it was believe that any man who could kill with .speed and accuracy should be able to dance with grace as well. Ballroom dancing is kings and empresis. It is the dance of strength, romance, and love.
Eddie: Look son, you're talking about a whole bunch of rich white folk, slave runners. I mean, I've never seen Martin Luther King do a waltz.
Danja: Why is that every time you want to fly something by us you claim it's got ties to Africa? But every time you get scared or mad, you blame it on African killer bees, African ebola virus, freakin West Nile fever?!
Rock: Doctor's note. Can't dance, got a heart condition.
Pierre: I see. Interesting man, your doctor. Not many physicians write notes on three hole punch paper.
Pierre: Ballroom dancing is about two bodies moving as one.
Caitlin: It's like sex on hardwood. I would kill if I could dance like that.
Eddie: Check Mr. Dulaine just getting his flirt on.
Principal Augustine: For these kids life is a fight to stay alive, and a hustle to make ends meet. Not ballroom dancing.
Pierre: To follow takes as much strength as to lead.
Sunday, April 17, 2011
The Mechanic
Arthur: What I do requires a certain mindset. I do assignments on vindictive targets. Some jobs need to look like accidents. Others must cause suspicion on someone else. A select few need to send a clear message. Pulling a trigger is easy. The best jobs are the ones where nobody even knows you were there.
Harry: "Amat Victoria Curam." [Victory Loves Preparation.]
Harry: I would rather it be you, Arthur. You'll have to live with it.
Steve: What kind of person shoots someone in a wheelchair anyways?
Arthur: Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
Steve: Roofy. You want me to kill him, not rape him, right?
Harry: "Amat Victoria Curam." [Victory Loves Preparation.]
Harry: I would rather it be you, Arthur. You'll have to live with it.
Steve: What kind of person shoots someone in a wheelchair anyways?
Arthur: Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
Steve: Roofy. You want me to kill him, not rape him, right?
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Leap Year
Anna: I'm a stager. I stage apartments for realtors. I transform ordinary spaces into something special. Most people don't know what it is they want until I show it to them and so many places need my help. Not the Davenport, of course.
Anna: Come on Charlie. You know it's not about luck, it's about preparation.
There's only one reason why people go into Duprisco's. You're going to have a better engagement ring than me, you big jerk!
Declan: Dublin is the city of chances and cheats, and backstabbin' snakes. It's where the waste of humanity collects, poisoned this family tree. I wouldn't drive you to Dublin in the life of me.
Declan: Oh, isn't yourself Louie? Can I give you a hand into the car Louie? She named her suitcase, she's a crack pot.
Declan: That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard.
Anna: No it isn't.
Declan: Yeah it is.
Anna: No, it's a tradition. It's a romantic tradition.
Declan: It's a day for desperate women trying to trap themselves on a man who clearly doesn't want to get married. You gotta know if your man wants to propose, he'd done it already. Fact!
Anna: Are you crazy? You, know nothing about me, or Jeremy. You know what you are? You're a cynic. You're a lonely, bitter, cynic.
Declan: Better that than an idiot. 'Leap year, diddly-yi. Will you marry me, diddly-yi. I've got a suitcase called Louie, diddly-yi.'
In Dublin's fair city, where the girls are so pretty.
Declan: If your house was on fire, sixty seconds, what would you take? Would it be the chihuahua on the duvet?
Declan: Well, hundreds of years ago there was this beautiful girl called Grianne. Now, she was promised to marriage to this fellow named Fionn. He was kinda a cranky old war lord, old enough to be her father, well old enough to be her grandfather. Therefore, ploop, she wasn't in love with him. Anyway, on the night of their betrothal, whom did she meet but a handsome, young warrior Diarmuid. They fell madly in love at first sight, but what can she do? Well, she slips a sleeping potion in everyone's drinks and the pair of them run off together across the Shannon. Fionn wakes, where's Grianne, gone. Well, he goes mental, takes his army and heads off in hot pursuit, but it was the people, the people in the villages of Ireland, they took pity on Diarmuid and Grianne. They hid them in the forests, in the barns, in the castles, where they sleep one night and then they move on. Sleep was all they did, because Diarmuid, the good man that he was, was suffering the old guilt of two timing Fionn, out of respect for him, penance, you know, take it any further. Then they came to this castle, and this view. To such a view, unable to resist its beauty, here in this place, they consummated their love.
Declan: Heads I win, tails you lose.
Anna: I washing, in the shower. Getting mud off with hot water. Got a bruise there, got a bruise there.
Declan: Here's an idea: why don't you stop trying to control everything in the known universe? It's dinner. Have a little faith. It'll all work out.
Anna: It'll all work out. My dad was the king of 'it'll all work out.' Time shares in the Bahamas, mobile video stores, whatever the next big nothing was all our money went right after it. But, uh, don't worry, it'll all work out. Got me working two part-time jobs after school, us getting our house repossessed on Christmas Eve, ho, ho, ho. So you will forgive me if I don't listen.
Declan: I'm sorry. No, really, I'm sorry. Your father is someone you should be able to rely on.
See that's what it takes to be married for forty four years. The kiss. Always kiss like it's the first time, and the last time.
Bride: May you never steal, lie, or cheat. But if you must steal, then steal away my sorrows. And if you must lie, then lie with me all the nights of my life. And if you must cheat, then please, cheat death. Because I couldn't live a day without you. Cheers!
Declan: Listen. Bob. You're not in America now. You're in Ireland. So, have a drink, and shut up.
Anna: I was just trying to help.
Declan: Help? That's hilarious. The woman who was so desperate to make her way to Dublin to make the most important decision of her life based on some ridiculous tradition, which frankly is a load of old poo, so, thank you, Bob, it's not I who needs the help. Okay?
Anna: It is not a load of poo. It's romantic.
Anna: You know what you are? You are a beast. You are a real beast. And I cannot stand you. But you know what, I am on to you. All your beastliness, it's an act. It's a great, big, massive, cover up. You... you growl and you snap but you are in... you're in pain. You've got a, um, got a big thorn in your beastly paw. Like a lion, a lovely, lovely lion.
Do I like it? I want to throw you out your own window and take it.
Anna: When my sixty seconds came around I thought, I had everything that I wanted but nothing that I needed. But what I think I need is here and I came all this way to see if you might think so too, and if you do, well I don't have any plans past that which is new for me. So, Declan O'Callahan, and I should probably learn your middle name, here is my proposal. I propose we not make plans, I propose we give this thing a chance and let it work out how it works out. So what do you say? Do you want to not make plans with me?
Anna: Come on Charlie. You know it's not about luck, it's about preparation.
There's only one reason why people go into Duprisco's. You're going to have a better engagement ring than me, you big jerk!
Declan: Dublin is the city of chances and cheats, and backstabbin' snakes. It's where the waste of humanity collects, poisoned this family tree. I wouldn't drive you to Dublin in the life of me.
Declan: Oh, isn't yourself Louie? Can I give you a hand into the car Louie? She named her suitcase, she's a crack pot.
Declan: That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard.
Anna: No it isn't.
Declan: Yeah it is.
Anna: No, it's a tradition. It's a romantic tradition.
Declan: It's a day for desperate women trying to trap themselves on a man who clearly doesn't want to get married. You gotta know if your man wants to propose, he'd done it already. Fact!
Anna: Are you crazy? You, know nothing about me, or Jeremy. You know what you are? You're a cynic. You're a lonely, bitter, cynic.
Declan: Better that than an idiot. 'Leap year, diddly-yi. Will you marry me, diddly-yi. I've got a suitcase called Louie, diddly-yi.'
In Dublin's fair city, where the girls are so pretty.
Declan: If your house was on fire, sixty seconds, what would you take? Would it be the chihuahua on the duvet?
Declan: Well, hundreds of years ago there was this beautiful girl called Grianne. Now, she was promised to marriage to this fellow named Fionn. He was kinda a cranky old war lord, old enough to be her father, well old enough to be her grandfather. Therefore, ploop, she wasn't in love with him. Anyway, on the night of their betrothal, whom did she meet but a handsome, young warrior Diarmuid. They fell madly in love at first sight, but what can she do? Well, she slips a sleeping potion in everyone's drinks and the pair of them run off together across the Shannon. Fionn wakes, where's Grianne, gone. Well, he goes mental, takes his army and heads off in hot pursuit, but it was the people, the people in the villages of Ireland, they took pity on Diarmuid and Grianne. They hid them in the forests, in the barns, in the castles, where they sleep one night and then they move on. Sleep was all they did, because Diarmuid, the good man that he was, was suffering the old guilt of two timing Fionn, out of respect for him, penance, you know, take it any further. Then they came to this castle, and this view. To such a view, unable to resist its beauty, here in this place, they consummated their love.
Declan: Heads I win, tails you lose.
Anna: I washing, in the shower. Getting mud off with hot water. Got a bruise there, got a bruise there.
Declan: Here's an idea: why don't you stop trying to control everything in the known universe? It's dinner. Have a little faith. It'll all work out.
Anna: It'll all work out. My dad was the king of 'it'll all work out.' Time shares in the Bahamas, mobile video stores, whatever the next big nothing was all our money went right after it. But, uh, don't worry, it'll all work out. Got me working two part-time jobs after school, us getting our house repossessed on Christmas Eve, ho, ho, ho. So you will forgive me if I don't listen.
Declan: I'm sorry. No, really, I'm sorry. Your father is someone you should be able to rely on.
See that's what it takes to be married for forty four years. The kiss. Always kiss like it's the first time, and the last time.
Bride: May you never steal, lie, or cheat. But if you must steal, then steal away my sorrows. And if you must lie, then lie with me all the nights of my life. And if you must cheat, then please, cheat death. Because I couldn't live a day without you. Cheers!
Declan: Listen. Bob. You're not in America now. You're in Ireland. So, have a drink, and shut up.
Anna: I was just trying to help.
Declan: Help? That's hilarious. The woman who was so desperate to make her way to Dublin to make the most important decision of her life based on some ridiculous tradition, which frankly is a load of old poo, so, thank you, Bob, it's not I who needs the help. Okay?
Anna: It is not a load of poo. It's romantic.
Anna: You know what you are? You are a beast. You are a real beast. And I cannot stand you. But you know what, I am on to you. All your beastliness, it's an act. It's a great, big, massive, cover up. You... you growl and you snap but you are in... you're in pain. You've got a, um, got a big thorn in your beastly paw. Like a lion, a lovely, lovely lion.
Do I like it? I want to throw you out your own window and take it.
Anna: When my sixty seconds came around I thought, I had everything that I wanted but nothing that I needed. But what I think I need is here and I came all this way to see if you might think so too, and if you do, well I don't have any plans past that which is new for me. So, Declan O'Callahan, and I should probably learn your middle name, here is my proposal. I propose we not make plans, I propose we give this thing a chance and let it work out how it works out. So what do you say? Do you want to not make plans with me?
Sunday, April 10, 2011
When In Rome
Beth: Yeah, I remember, Brady, really clearly when you broke up with me in the Applebee's.
Brady: You made me realized it doesn't matter how hard someone works as long as you love them.
Joan: When you know you don't need proof you just know.
Beth: We wait our whole lives for some perfect guy to come sweep us off our feet. Well guess what, he's not coming!
Beth: Each one of you is a desperate wish for love that is never going to come true. So I'm saving you, and saving you. You, I don't give a damn about but I am saving you. And you, and I'm saving you.
Hey Nick, how long are you going to take? We watched Roots while you were gone.
What do you think would win in a fight: a whale or a silver back gorilla?
Gail: I'm Gail, like a gale force wind. I took on that name because it's the most powerful force in the natural world, for shaping and eroding the earth... whoosh, you can feel it.
Time flies, but magic flies faster.
Beth: I used to come here with my parents when I was a little girl. I thought this place was magic. My father told me that the roof was made of glass so that God could see the paintings from up in Heaven.
Beth: Every time I've ever put myself out there, I've gotten hurt. Every time. It's like I meet a guy and I think it's great and anyone else would just be thinking about how much greater it's going to get. But I'm constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Nick: Well, you do know lightning strikes once in a while, Beth. Trust me, I know.
Beth: I wish I could believe that.
Nick: You can. No shoes are going to drop Beth. This is real. I'm real.
Nick: Ever since I saw you in the fountain something changed in me. I can't eat, I can't sleep, I can't do anything without thinking about you. I don't know what is going on with me, Beth, but I want to know what is going on with you. You seem to think all these guys are under a crazy spell or something and that I'm one of them. But I'm not. This is real, okay? And I ran all the way up 5th Avenue in a lightning storm because I wanted to tell you that...
Beth: You love me?
Nick: I never said I loved you.
Beth: You didn't. No, you don't.
Nick: No, no. I just never said it. You said it, and I w anted to say it, but, uh...
Beth: Okay you go. You say it or just say it if you want to say it.
Nick: Look, the only spell that I'm under is yours. I'm in love with you Beth.
Dad: Elizabeth Ann, honey, you cannot learn from my mistakes. You're gonna have to go out there and make your own. Now, you could get your heart broken or you could have the greatest love affair the world has ever known. But you're not gonna know unless you try.
Beth: But what if there was a guarantee that you'd never get hurt?
Dad: Baby, the passion is in the risk. It's like I always say, if you're gonna be a bear...
Beth: Be a grizzly.
Priest: Marriage is like-a all contracts that a-two enter in the eyes of a-Father Almighty. If there's anybody here who has-a reasons that-a Beth and-a Nicholas should-a not get married today, speak now or forever hold onto your peaces. Anybody? Anybody? Anybody? It could be anybody, you don't have to know them to speak up.
Beth: You think you're pretty funny, don't you? You enjoy watching me go crazy? Did you have fun watching my life turn upside down because of love? Because I did.
Nick: I have a question. Why do you keep giving me back my poker chips?
Beth: Because you deserve to have it back. You threw it in the fountain and wished on love and I don't want to keep it anymore.
Nick: No I didn't.
Beth: You didn't? Then who did?
Nick: I have no idea.
Beth: Then this is all real?
Nick: How's this for real.
Brady: You made me realized it doesn't matter how hard someone works as long as you love them.
Joan: When you know you don't need proof you just know.
Beth: We wait our whole lives for some perfect guy to come sweep us off our feet. Well guess what, he's not coming!
Beth: Each one of you is a desperate wish for love that is never going to come true. So I'm saving you, and saving you. You, I don't give a damn about but I am saving you. And you, and I'm saving you.
Hey Nick, how long are you going to take? We watched Roots while you were gone.
What do you think would win in a fight: a whale or a silver back gorilla?
Gail: I'm Gail, like a gale force wind. I took on that name because it's the most powerful force in the natural world, for shaping and eroding the earth... whoosh, you can feel it.
Time flies, but magic flies faster.
Beth: I used to come here with my parents when I was a little girl. I thought this place was magic. My father told me that the roof was made of glass so that God could see the paintings from up in Heaven.
Beth: Every time I've ever put myself out there, I've gotten hurt. Every time. It's like I meet a guy and I think it's great and anyone else would just be thinking about how much greater it's going to get. But I'm constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Nick: Well, you do know lightning strikes once in a while, Beth. Trust me, I know.
Beth: I wish I could believe that.
Nick: You can. No shoes are going to drop Beth. This is real. I'm real.
Nick: Ever since I saw you in the fountain something changed in me. I can't eat, I can't sleep, I can't do anything without thinking about you. I don't know what is going on with me, Beth, but I want to know what is going on with you. You seem to think all these guys are under a crazy spell or something and that I'm one of them. But I'm not. This is real, okay? And I ran all the way up 5th Avenue in a lightning storm because I wanted to tell you that...
Beth: You love me?
Nick: I never said I loved you.
Beth: You didn't. No, you don't.
Nick: No, no. I just never said it. You said it, and I w anted to say it, but, uh...
Beth: Okay you go. You say it or just say it if you want to say it.
Nick: Look, the only spell that I'm under is yours. I'm in love with you Beth.
Dad: Elizabeth Ann, honey, you cannot learn from my mistakes. You're gonna have to go out there and make your own. Now, you could get your heart broken or you could have the greatest love affair the world has ever known. But you're not gonna know unless you try.
Beth: But what if there was a guarantee that you'd never get hurt?
Dad: Baby, the passion is in the risk. It's like I always say, if you're gonna be a bear...
Beth: Be a grizzly.
Priest: Marriage is like-a all contracts that a-two enter in the eyes of a-Father Almighty. If there's anybody here who has-a reasons that-a Beth and-a Nicholas should-a not get married today, speak now or forever hold onto your peaces. Anybody? Anybody? Anybody? It could be anybody, you don't have to know them to speak up.
Beth: You think you're pretty funny, don't you? You enjoy watching me go crazy? Did you have fun watching my life turn upside down because of love? Because I did.
Nick: I have a question. Why do you keep giving me back my poker chips?
Beth: Because you deserve to have it back. You threw it in the fountain and wished on love and I don't want to keep it anymore.
Nick: No I didn't.
Beth: You didn't? Then who did?
Nick: I have no idea.
Beth: Then this is all real?
Nick: How's this for real.
Win A Date With Tad Hamilton
Pete: Sure, heaven is only a mouse click away.
Angelica: One day Pete, one day, I know the answer to that question will be, "You, Angelica." "You are the object of my desire."
Pete: Okay, this is how I know. If at any point in your date he says he doesn't really like watching sports, he's just trying to sleep with you. Oh, if he claims to love animals, then he's really just trying to sleep with you. Guys are guys, Rosie. Rich or poor, famous or grocers. Just do me one favor, okay? Guard your carnal treasure.
Kathy: Remember everything. Remember how he smells, but not just vaguely. I want good, solid similes. For example, he smells like a forest on the first day of spring...
Pete: Guard your carnal treasure!
Rosalee: Your films will stand the test of time.
Rosalee: Yikes-a-bee.
Rosalee: Shake-a-doo.
Kathy: I bet they are in her hotel room, straining for breath, his manhood yearning to be free, her hands running over the ripples in his abdomen, her perfect bosom crying out in ecstasy...
Rosalee: And to me, wonderfulness too. And to you, only the self same good wishes. You know what I'm saying?
Rosalee: The limo door swung open, my foot hit the ground, and I turned to take one last look at Tad, at those eyes, at that smile, and then, regretfully, I headed back to the hotel.
Pete: Please tell me we're done now.
Rosalee: We're done.
Pete: Wow. I cannot remember a time before you started telling that story.
Kathy: At which point, Tad, if you're going back to the airport, I'll ride with you and by the Route 73 clover leaf, I will have given myself to you in ways you've only read about in the drug store.
Pete: Kathy, he's not her type.
Kathy: No, rich, famous, handsome, ass like cement. You are absolutely right.
Tad: Rosalee, nobody is nobody. I'm following my gut. Sometimes you have to do that even if what you're doing seems crazy. Because in the gap between what prudence says we should do and what our heart tells us we must do, well, Rosie, there in lies our humanity.
Rosalee: That's from the Road to El Dorado.
Tad: Well, you really are a big fan, aren't ya?
Rosalee: Is that how you get women? You steal lines from your own movies.
Tad: Not anymore.
Rosalee: I hope not because I would serious shoot a hole in your credibility.
Tad: The truth is, that when we were on our date, you said something that really resignated with me, you said you were sure I had my priorities straight, but here's the thing. I don't, I really don't. My entire life since I was a teenager was about becoming successful and famous and this thing that I am. and you were right, it's unsatisfying. I need a positive influence. I need somebody with solid and substantial qualities who seems to understand life and how to live it in a good and happy way, like you. Just want to be around you. Just want some of that goodness to rub off on me.
Pete: He wants your goodness to rub off on him...?
Pete: There's innocent, there's child-like, and then there's just asking for it. Look he wants your goodness to rub off on him. He wants your ass to rub off on him is more like it.
Rosalee: You look so sad there.
Tad: Give me a break. I just lost my wife and my goat.
Rosalee: I am going to kill that Pete, bring him back to life, and then kill him again!
Tad: What happened here tonight was a force of nature. Two people set out to be friends but nature would have none of it. Nature wanted them to be more. And nature is going to let that tomorrow.
Kathy: Rosie, were Tad's pectorals light to the touch? Are they warm yet firm like...
Pete: Rosie, he's from Malibu, California. Okay, the only thing they grow there are breasts.
Pete: I want Rosie to be happy so I've got to ask you a couple of question. Do you know how long she keeps her hair in straight mode and how long she keeps it curly? Or why her favorite necklace is a starfish clasp? Do you even know she has six different smiles? One when something flat out makes her laugh. And one when she's laughing out of politeness. But there's one when she makes plans. One when she makes fun of herself. One when she's uncomfortable. And one, one when she's talking about her friends. She is more of a treasure than you could possibly know. She's not just some wholesome, small town girl, wholesome like good for you, breath of fresh air. Tad, she is a wonderful person with a huge heart. And the kind of beauty that a guy sees once, ya know. Once. So Tad, if there is even a chance that you could break her heart, please just for her sake, walk away man.
Angelica: So how much do you love her? Is it love, is it big love, or is it great love? Well love you get over in two months, big love two years, but great love, great love changes your life. Oh my god, it's great love.
Angelica: If you feel it and you don't do everything in your power to reach for it, you're basically slapping life in the face.
Angelica: As my father told me when I told him I'd never get that job in a bar, "Honey, your odds go up when you file an application."
Pete: I'm up against Tad Hamilton.
Angelica: You are Tad Hamilton. Don't you see? Everybody's Tad Hamilton to somebody, Pete. Rosalee is Tad Hamilton to you. You're Tad Hamilton to me.
Rosalee: Do you think it's possible to love someone your whole life and never really realize it until something happens and makes you see?
Angelica: When great love is rejected, Rosalee, something inside a man dies. So all he can do is run away. He can meet the girl he loves second most. Unless... unless you can get to him before he closes the book on you. But once it's closed, it's closed. It's finished. It's gone. Dead. It's crushed. It's beaten. It's buried. It is lost for all of time.
Rosalee: You have five smiles, Pete. One when you think someone's an idiot. One when you think someone's really an idiot. One when you're getting all dressed up. One when you're singing Barry White. And one, when you're looking at me.
Angelica: One day Pete, one day, I know the answer to that question will be, "You, Angelica." "You are the object of my desire."
Pete: Okay, this is how I know. If at any point in your date he says he doesn't really like watching sports, he's just trying to sleep with you. Oh, if he claims to love animals, then he's really just trying to sleep with you. Guys are guys, Rosie. Rich or poor, famous or grocers. Just do me one favor, okay? Guard your carnal treasure.
Kathy: Remember everything. Remember how he smells, but not just vaguely. I want good, solid similes. For example, he smells like a forest on the first day of spring...
Pete: Guard your carnal treasure!
Rosalee: Your films will stand the test of time.
Rosalee: Yikes-a-bee.
Rosalee: Shake-a-doo.
Kathy: I bet they are in her hotel room, straining for breath, his manhood yearning to be free, her hands running over the ripples in his abdomen, her perfect bosom crying out in ecstasy...
Rosalee: And to me, wonderfulness too. And to you, only the self same good wishes. You know what I'm saying?
Rosalee: The limo door swung open, my foot hit the ground, and I turned to take one last look at Tad, at those eyes, at that smile, and then, regretfully, I headed back to the hotel.
Pete: Please tell me we're done now.
Rosalee: We're done.
Pete: Wow. I cannot remember a time before you started telling that story.
Kathy: At which point, Tad, if you're going back to the airport, I'll ride with you and by the Route 73 clover leaf, I will have given myself to you in ways you've only read about in the drug store.
Pete: Kathy, he's not her type.
Kathy: No, rich, famous, handsome, ass like cement. You are absolutely right.
Tad: Rosalee, nobody is nobody. I'm following my gut. Sometimes you have to do that even if what you're doing seems crazy. Because in the gap between what prudence says we should do and what our heart tells us we must do, well, Rosie, there in lies our humanity.
Rosalee: That's from the Road to El Dorado.
Tad: Well, you really are a big fan, aren't ya?
Rosalee: Is that how you get women? You steal lines from your own movies.
Tad: Not anymore.
Rosalee: I hope not because I would serious shoot a hole in your credibility.
Tad: The truth is, that when we were on our date, you said something that really resignated with me, you said you were sure I had my priorities straight, but here's the thing. I don't, I really don't. My entire life since I was a teenager was about becoming successful and famous and this thing that I am. and you were right, it's unsatisfying. I need a positive influence. I need somebody with solid and substantial qualities who seems to understand life and how to live it in a good and happy way, like you. Just want to be around you. Just want some of that goodness to rub off on me.
Pete: He wants your goodness to rub off on him...?
Pete: There's innocent, there's child-like, and then there's just asking for it. Look he wants your goodness to rub off on him. He wants your ass to rub off on him is more like it.
Rosalee: You look so sad there.
Tad: Give me a break. I just lost my wife and my goat.
Rosalee: I am going to kill that Pete, bring him back to life, and then kill him again!
Tad: What happened here tonight was a force of nature. Two people set out to be friends but nature would have none of it. Nature wanted them to be more. And nature is going to let that tomorrow.
Kathy: Rosie, were Tad's pectorals light to the touch? Are they warm yet firm like...
Pete: Rosie, he's from Malibu, California. Okay, the only thing they grow there are breasts.
Pete: I want Rosie to be happy so I've got to ask you a couple of question. Do you know how long she keeps her hair in straight mode and how long she keeps it curly? Or why her favorite necklace is a starfish clasp? Do you even know she has six different smiles? One when something flat out makes her laugh. And one when she's laughing out of politeness. But there's one when she makes plans. One when she makes fun of herself. One when she's uncomfortable. And one, one when she's talking about her friends. She is more of a treasure than you could possibly know. She's not just some wholesome, small town girl, wholesome like good for you, breath of fresh air. Tad, she is a wonderful person with a huge heart. And the kind of beauty that a guy sees once, ya know. Once. So Tad, if there is even a chance that you could break her heart, please just for her sake, walk away man.
Angelica: So how much do you love her? Is it love, is it big love, or is it great love? Well love you get over in two months, big love two years, but great love, great love changes your life. Oh my god, it's great love.
Angelica: If you feel it and you don't do everything in your power to reach for it, you're basically slapping life in the face.
Angelica: As my father told me when I told him I'd never get that job in a bar, "Honey, your odds go up when you file an application."
Pete: I'm up against Tad Hamilton.
Angelica: You are Tad Hamilton. Don't you see? Everybody's Tad Hamilton to somebody, Pete. Rosalee is Tad Hamilton to you. You're Tad Hamilton to me.
Rosalee: Do you think it's possible to love someone your whole life and never really realize it until something happens and makes you see?
Angelica: When great love is rejected, Rosalee, something inside a man dies. So all he can do is run away. He can meet the girl he loves second most. Unless... unless you can get to him before he closes the book on you. But once it's closed, it's closed. It's finished. It's gone. Dead. It's crushed. It's beaten. It's buried. It is lost for all of time.
Rosalee: You have five smiles, Pete. One when you think someone's an idiot. One when you think someone's really an idiot. One when you're getting all dressed up. One when you're singing Barry White. And one, when you're looking at me.
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Harry Potter: Prisoner of Azkaban
Aunt Marge: If there's something wrong with the bitch then there's something wrong with the pup.
Harry: Why would I go looking for someone who wants to kill me?
Dumbledore: For in dreams, we enter a world that's entirely our own. Let them swim in the deepest ocean or glide over the highest cloud.
Harry: Why would I go looking for someone who wants to kill me?
Dumbledore: For in dreams, we enter a world that's entirely our own. Let them swim in the deepest ocean or glide over the highest cloud.
Thursday, January 27, 2011
A Guide To Recognizing Your Saints
Dito: My name's Dito. I'm gonna leave everybody in this film.
Diane: Hey, my name is Diana and I like to fuck.
Jenny: Hey, my name is Jenny. And everybody in this place is a fuckin' joke.
Nerf: My name is Nerf. And this shit sucks.
Giuseppe: I'm Giuseppe, Antonio's brother.
Laurie: I'm Laurie. And everybody's gonna leave me. I know they are.
Antonio: I'm a fuckin' piece of shit. That's who I am.
Mike: If a guy wrote on my house "I was dead", he's already fucked you up. I'd be having a fuckin' heart attack.
Laurie: You think you're a fuckin' man? That's just a fuckin' tail between your legs.
Dito: In the end, just like I said, I left everything and everyone, but no one, no one has ever left me.
Diane: Hey, my name is Diana and I like to fuck.
Jenny: Hey, my name is Jenny. And everybody in this place is a fuckin' joke.
Nerf: My name is Nerf. And this shit sucks.
Giuseppe: I'm Giuseppe, Antonio's brother.
Laurie: I'm Laurie. And everybody's gonna leave me. I know they are.
Antonio: I'm a fuckin' piece of shit. That's who I am.
Mike: If a guy wrote on my house "I was dead", he's already fucked you up. I'd be having a fuckin' heart attack.
Laurie: You think you're a fuckin' man? That's just a fuckin' tail between your legs.
Dito: In the end, just like I said, I left everything and everyone, but no one, no one has ever left me.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Polish Poker
Half the table is going down... - Andy
I'm going down, to the next row, because I'm a hoe. - My dad
I always get screwed on the bottom.
Have a seat we'll put teamwork on that ass - My brother to my aunt
Once you go to second base, you can't go back to first. - Andy
I'm going down, to the next row, because I'm a hoe. - My dad
I always get screwed on the bottom.
Have a seat we'll put teamwork on that ass - My brother to my aunt
Once you go to second base, you can't go back to first. - Andy
Jersey Shore Season 3
Snooki: I have Vinny in the house so maybe I don't need the vibrator.
The Situation: She definitely be Thanksgiving. She has a lot to give... And she's down for a lot of stuffing.
J-Woww: Stick it in one of the let holes and go to bed.
The Situation: Does the situation want to get situated right now?
Snooki: Even though we are tiny bitches, I don't care who you are. I will attack you like a squirrel monkey.
Snooki: Sam, you are such a bitch. I don't even know how you have friends. You are a slutty ass bitch.
Vinny: She is a parasite and I am the host.
The Situation: She definitely be Thanksgiving. She has a lot to give... And she's down for a lot of stuffing.
J-Woww: Stick it in one of the let holes and go to bed.
The Situation: Does the situation want to get situated right now?
Snooki: Even though we are tiny bitches, I don't care who you are. I will attack you like a squirrel monkey.
Snooki: Sam, you are such a bitch. I don't even know how you have friends. You are a slutty ass bitch.
Vinny: She is a parasite and I am the host.
Glee: Season One
Rachel Berry: You might think that all of the boys in school would want to tap this, but my MySpace schedule keeps me way too busy to date.
Sue Sylvester: High school is a caste system. Kids fall into certain slots. Your jocks and your popular kids up in the penthouse. The invisibles and the kids playing live-action out in the forest: bottom floor.
Will Schuester: And... where do the Glee kids lie?
Sue Sylvester: Subbasement.
Finn Hudson: Don't you get it, man? We're all losers! Everyone in this school! Hell, everyone in this town! Out of all the kids who graduate, maybe half will go to college, and two will leave the state to do it! I'm not afraid to be called a loser because I can accept that's what I am.
Rachel Berry: Being great at something is going to change it. Being part of something special makes you special, right?
Mercedes Jones: Oh, Hell to the no! Look, I'm not down with all this background singing nonsense. I'm Beyoncé, I ain't no Kelly Rowland!
Quinn Fabray: God bless the perv that invented these. Remember the power motto girls.
Quinn Fabray: It's all about the teasing and not about the pleasing.
Quinn Fabray: Back it up like a dump truck baby.
Quinn Fabray: Let's pair up for the Immaculate Affection. Now remember if the balloon pops, the noise makes the angels cry.
Rachel Berry: I don't have Bulimia. I tried, but I don't have a gag reflex.
Emma Pillsbury: When you're older, that will turn out to be a gift.
Sue Sylvester: High school is a caste system. Kids fall into certain slots. Your jocks and your popular kids up in the penthouse. The invisibles and the kids playing live-action out in the forest: bottom floor.
Will Schuester: And... where do the Glee kids lie?
Sue Sylvester: Subbasement.
Finn Hudson: Don't you get it, man? We're all losers! Everyone in this school! Hell, everyone in this town! Out of all the kids who graduate, maybe half will go to college, and two will leave the state to do it! I'm not afraid to be called a loser because I can accept that's what I am.
Rachel Berry: Being great at something is going to change it. Being part of something special makes you special, right?
Mercedes Jones: Oh, Hell to the no! Look, I'm not down with all this background singing nonsense. I'm Beyoncé, I ain't no Kelly Rowland!
Quinn Fabray: God bless the perv that invented these. Remember the power motto girls.
Quinn Fabray: It's all about the teasing and not about the pleasing.
Quinn Fabray: Back it up like a dump truck baby.
Quinn Fabray: Let's pair up for the Immaculate Affection. Now remember if the balloon pops, the noise makes the angels cry.
Rachel Berry: I don't have Bulimia. I tried, but I don't have a gag reflex.
Emma Pillsbury: When you're older, that will turn out to be a gift.
That Night
Alice Bloom: It was the summer everyone thought the Russians were going to invade Long Island any minute and President Kennedy was going to Berlin to head them off. Sputnik had been around the world ten times and Mr. Rossi, our neighbor, swore he saw it fly right over his back yard. But I had other things on my mind that summer. And so did everyone else on our block. The Meyer twins were always fighting about something. They’d do just about anything to get Catherine and Barbara’s attention. They were always teasing me. Mickey was the worst. Once behind the Rossi house, he said he wanted to kiss me, then he spit in my ear. Kathryn was right; I didn’t know much about it. But I read everything I could. Modern romance, encyclopedias, even stuff that took a whole month to get in the mail. But still I felt like it was so big secret everyone was in on, except me. Except sometimes, late at night, when Sheryl came home. Right after she moved in last winter, the boys started coming around. They all wanted her to go steady, and to be their girl, but she wasn’t interested. If I could just be her for one night, even for just one minute. I found out everything about her, that she played the same song every night, “Ruler of my Heart.” I knew that every Friday after school she’d buy a brand new scarf at Wolman’s. That she put her favorite perfume on every night before she went to sleep. It was Ambush. That she thought Brenda Lee was alright because she turned down a date with Ricky Nelson. And that JFK was the coolest catholic she knew, outside of her dad. And that a nun at Mount St. Mary’s slapped her in the face with all her might and she didn’t even cry. That she never slept in anything at all, even in the middle of winter. She didn’t know me or my name, but I wanted to laugh her laugh, and dream her dreams.
Alice Bloom: Burger balls!
Guy: What’s the matter? Girls from St. Mary’s don’t drink beer?
Sheryl: We’re afraid you wouldn’t know what end of the bottle to suck.
Alice: I thought that if either of my parents died, I’d die too. That if they’d stopped breathing they would draw me back inside, like they once told me, they kissed each other and breathed me into life. But Sheryl still lived, that she put on her shoes and socks and combed her hair. All with her father dead. Seemed more surprising to me than anything else in the whole world.
Rick: What’d they say? Time heals all wounds. God had his reasons. Maybe he does, doesn’t make a damn bit of sense.
Sheryl: It’s a mortal sin to say that.
Rick: It’s a sin to believe anything else.
Sheryl: Hi. My name is Sheryl, Sheryl O’Connor. And my dad died. This is stupid. I don’t want to do this! Okay, here’s something. Um, tonight this old guy, I don’t even know who he was, but he was telling me that my dad was young he was this really great dancer. And all the girls at the Copa used to hang on low riders. I would have loved to see that. I never saw my daddy dance before, not really.
Rick: Just because they are your parents, doesn’t mean you got to love them.
Kathryn: Oh my god, it’s the loonhead from the Strike and Spare.
Barbara: He’s kind of cute… for a greaser.
Sheryl: It’s so horrible that ppl you love can die like that, that they can just disappear.
Rick: Yeah, but just because they’re gone doesn’t mean you have to stop loving them. You never know when you might see them again.
Sheryl: Where?
Rick: On the other side, that’s where. You gotta keep your options open, right.
Alice Bloom: I couldn’t see if Venus was in the sky that night, but it could have been. After that night, they were inseparable. I saw them everywhere, like at the Strike and Spare, she’d hang around all afternoon waiting for his break. Sometimes they’d even hang out on her lawn, when her mother wasn’t around. No one was happy about it. Mr. Bell said that if he had one of them in the neighborhood, he would have never left Queens. And Mr. Rossi, he heard they all had records and he’d call the cops if it kept up. But me, I didn’t care if they all had been in Sing Sing, I wanted them to stay around forever. The best of all was when he would bring her back, and park down the block, not to wake her mom. And it would just be us, in the middle of the night, in the darkness.
Alice: Doing what?
Mickey: You know doing it. Bangin’, Buffin’, Ballin’, the sex thing.
Max: Alice castrated Mickey!
Alice: Dad said it was over, like Polio in the Iron Lung. Sheryl’s mom put her foot down. Rick wasn’t allowed to come around anymore. And I had to apologize to Mickey Meyer and go to his birthday party.
Sheryl: See, when they like you, they gotta do something crazy. And then six months later he gave me my first kiss.
She said if we were going to chase the night together, I was going to have to change my looks. I didn’t mind, I didn’t mind at all.
Sheryl: He said he had been with a lot of girls before me but I set him straight. I could see it in his eyes. I knew it the moment we met that we would be together forever.
Alice: But who told you?
Sheryl: Nobody tells you, you just feel it. It’s like being on fire. You’re whole body is glowing like your burning up and your heart beats so fast feels like it’s going to burst.
Alice: I knew it! I wish I’d been in love ten thousand times.
Alice: They took me under the boardwalk. He said there was nothing to be afraid of, but I was scared. I wonder if anyone will ever feel about me the way Rick felt about Sheryl. She said that I should make a record about all the stuff that happened that night, about the good and the bad. Then we’d bury it with hers and play it again in fifty years. I couldn’t stop talking. But Sheryl was worried about getting me home and that was that.
Sheryl: You need someone to love you and keep your spirit alive after you die.
They all thought it was over. That Sheryl had come to her senses and forgotten him. I was the only one who knew she would go to him, night after night.
Sheryl: We could have been born thousands of miles apart, spoken different languages, and everything. And never even met/ Nothing else matters, Rick. Not our families, not our friends, nothing.
Rick: Why do I always want to be inside you? I don’t know, it’s just something about being this close all the time. I can’t stand not being with you Sherry.
Mrs. O’Connor: If you really loved him, you’d let him go. That’s what you’re daddy would say.
Alice: Sheryl had said that her mom found out that she was sneaking out to see him and that she was going to send Sheryl away. I had to get to Rick. I imagined him coming for her in the middle of the night, her suitcase would be packed, and he’d throw pebbles against her window, and they’d escape to some island no one had ever heard of. Maybe they’d take me too.
Alice: They said she was going to her aunt’s in California. I couldn’t get to Rick. I couldn’t get to anyone. The next day was the hottest day of the year. The TV said there was a storm front over the Atlantic and it would rain any day. There was no wind, no rain, nothing. You could hear yourself breathe. Or hear your heartbeat if you listened.
Alice: Mom said Rick was in jail for a whole week and they should have charged him with melodrama. Dad said that if he ever came around again, he’d kill him.
Alice: He told me some things, things I didn’t know, like how his dad walked out one day and didn’t come back, and how his mom went crazy and landed in some bug house. He couldn’t stop talking about all the trouble he’d been in after that, because he didn’t care about anyone or anything.
Alice: He sat and he waited. He said she knew he was coming, but I could tell that he was scared. I was scared too.
It’s my whole life Rick, that’s what you’re asking for. I never said I was this tough.
You said nothing else could change it. Once you love someone like that, nothing else matters.
Alice: It would be just the three of us, like that night.
Sheryl: Stop, stop it Allie. You got it all so twisted up! Ordering me around like I’m some God damn princess. Wearing my perfume and listening to my records. I’m just this girl who lives across the street from you and I don’t now. You have to go home.
Alice: But I don’t belong there.
Sheryl: You have a family. You can’t just leave them like that. Because if you did, it would just kill them, it would kill them. That’s all.
Alice: I wanted to call out to them, say good bye or just a “Hey now.’ But it was enough to just see them together, one last time. I thought I was a dead man, but they say things about love and forgiveness, things I was only beginning to understand. Someone said that Sheryl had runaway. Mrs. Carpenter swears she saw her in Manhattan with an older man. Mrs. Rossi said she had an abortion in Mexico and is living in El Paso. But I got a postcard from Salt Lake City. Sheryl said they were heading west and so far things were going fine. And by the way, she’d hope that I buried my record and I shouldn’t dig it up for fifty years.
Alice: The Russians never did invade Long Island and Mr. Rossi turned out to be all wrong about see sputnik flying over his backyard. But I learned some things that summer, things I’d never forget.
Alice Bloom: Burger balls!
Guy: What’s the matter? Girls from St. Mary’s don’t drink beer?
Sheryl: We’re afraid you wouldn’t know what end of the bottle to suck.
Alice: I thought that if either of my parents died, I’d die too. That if they’d stopped breathing they would draw me back inside, like they once told me, they kissed each other and breathed me into life. But Sheryl still lived, that she put on her shoes and socks and combed her hair. All with her father dead. Seemed more surprising to me than anything else in the whole world.
Rick: What’d they say? Time heals all wounds. God had his reasons. Maybe he does, doesn’t make a damn bit of sense.
Sheryl: It’s a mortal sin to say that.
Rick: It’s a sin to believe anything else.
Sheryl: Hi. My name is Sheryl, Sheryl O’Connor. And my dad died. This is stupid. I don’t want to do this! Okay, here’s something. Um, tonight this old guy, I don’t even know who he was, but he was telling me that my dad was young he was this really great dancer. And all the girls at the Copa used to hang on low riders. I would have loved to see that. I never saw my daddy dance before, not really.
Rick: Just because they are your parents, doesn’t mean you got to love them.
Kathryn: Oh my god, it’s the loonhead from the Strike and Spare.
Barbara: He’s kind of cute… for a greaser.
Sheryl: It’s so horrible that ppl you love can die like that, that they can just disappear.
Rick: Yeah, but just because they’re gone doesn’t mean you have to stop loving them. You never know when you might see them again.
Sheryl: Where?
Rick: On the other side, that’s where. You gotta keep your options open, right.
Alice Bloom: I couldn’t see if Venus was in the sky that night, but it could have been. After that night, they were inseparable. I saw them everywhere, like at the Strike and Spare, she’d hang around all afternoon waiting for his break. Sometimes they’d even hang out on her lawn, when her mother wasn’t around. No one was happy about it. Mr. Bell said that if he had one of them in the neighborhood, he would have never left Queens. And Mr. Rossi, he heard they all had records and he’d call the cops if it kept up. But me, I didn’t care if they all had been in Sing Sing, I wanted them to stay around forever. The best of all was when he would bring her back, and park down the block, not to wake her mom. And it would just be us, in the middle of the night, in the darkness.
Alice: Doing what?
Mickey: You know doing it. Bangin’, Buffin’, Ballin’, the sex thing.
Max: Alice castrated Mickey!
Alice: Dad said it was over, like Polio in the Iron Lung. Sheryl’s mom put her foot down. Rick wasn’t allowed to come around anymore. And I had to apologize to Mickey Meyer and go to his birthday party.
Sheryl: See, when they like you, they gotta do something crazy. And then six months later he gave me my first kiss.
She said if we were going to chase the night together, I was going to have to change my looks. I didn’t mind, I didn’t mind at all.
Sheryl: He said he had been with a lot of girls before me but I set him straight. I could see it in his eyes. I knew it the moment we met that we would be together forever.
Alice: But who told you?
Sheryl: Nobody tells you, you just feel it. It’s like being on fire. You’re whole body is glowing like your burning up and your heart beats so fast feels like it’s going to burst.
Alice: I knew it! I wish I’d been in love ten thousand times.
Alice: They took me under the boardwalk. He said there was nothing to be afraid of, but I was scared. I wonder if anyone will ever feel about me the way Rick felt about Sheryl. She said that I should make a record about all the stuff that happened that night, about the good and the bad. Then we’d bury it with hers and play it again in fifty years. I couldn’t stop talking. But Sheryl was worried about getting me home and that was that.
Sheryl: You need someone to love you and keep your spirit alive after you die.
They all thought it was over. That Sheryl had come to her senses and forgotten him. I was the only one who knew she would go to him, night after night.
Sheryl: We could have been born thousands of miles apart, spoken different languages, and everything. And never even met/ Nothing else matters, Rick. Not our families, not our friends, nothing.
Rick: Why do I always want to be inside you? I don’t know, it’s just something about being this close all the time. I can’t stand not being with you Sherry.
Mrs. O’Connor: If you really loved him, you’d let him go. That’s what you’re daddy would say.
Alice: Sheryl had said that her mom found out that she was sneaking out to see him and that she was going to send Sheryl away. I had to get to Rick. I imagined him coming for her in the middle of the night, her suitcase would be packed, and he’d throw pebbles against her window, and they’d escape to some island no one had ever heard of. Maybe they’d take me too.
Alice: They said she was going to her aunt’s in California. I couldn’t get to Rick. I couldn’t get to anyone. The next day was the hottest day of the year. The TV said there was a storm front over the Atlantic and it would rain any day. There was no wind, no rain, nothing. You could hear yourself breathe. Or hear your heartbeat if you listened.
Alice: Mom said Rick was in jail for a whole week and they should have charged him with melodrama. Dad said that if he ever came around again, he’d kill him.
Alice: He told me some things, things I didn’t know, like how his dad walked out one day and didn’t come back, and how his mom went crazy and landed in some bug house. He couldn’t stop talking about all the trouble he’d been in after that, because he didn’t care about anyone or anything.
Alice: He sat and he waited. He said she knew he was coming, but I could tell that he was scared. I was scared too.
It’s my whole life Rick, that’s what you’re asking for. I never said I was this tough.
You said nothing else could change it. Once you love someone like that, nothing else matters.
Alice: It would be just the three of us, like that night.
Sheryl: Stop, stop it Allie. You got it all so twisted up! Ordering me around like I’m some God damn princess. Wearing my perfume and listening to my records. I’m just this girl who lives across the street from you and I don’t now. You have to go home.
Alice: But I don’t belong there.
Sheryl: You have a family. You can’t just leave them like that. Because if you did, it would just kill them, it would kill them. That’s all.
Alice: I wanted to call out to them, say good bye or just a “Hey now.’ But it was enough to just see them together, one last time. I thought I was a dead man, but they say things about love and forgiveness, things I was only beginning to understand. Someone said that Sheryl had runaway. Mrs. Carpenter swears she saw her in Manhattan with an older man. Mrs. Rossi said she had an abortion in Mexico and is living in El Paso. But I got a postcard from Salt Lake City. Sheryl said they were heading west and so far things were going fine. And by the way, she’d hope that I buried my record and I shouldn’t dig it up for fifty years.
Alice: The Russians never did invade Long Island and Mr. Rossi turned out to be all wrong about see sputnik flying over his backyard. But I learned some things that summer, things I’d never forget.
Peggy Sue Got Married
Mrs. Kelcher: Peggy, you know what a penis is? Stay away from it.
Charlie: You’re the best. Make her love me. Feed me, charge me.
Mr. Kelcher: Show her a good time but for heaven’s sake, restrain yourself!
Peggy: You know what, if you we’re so neurotic and insecure, maybe you could shut up for a while and show some compassion!
Charlie: Who needs physics when we’ve got chemistry?
Charlie: Well, what’s the point of being a teenage if you can’t dress weird?
Charlie: I don’t have to flatter you. It just feels right. You’re the perfect girl for me, as in is, was, will always be.
Charlie: Your eyes look like silver pools in the moonlight when the tide rushes in.
Peggy: Doesn’t “Lucky Chucky” want to come out? You know, your “Love Machine,” your “Throbbing Thrill Hammer,” your “Thing.”
Charlie: You mean, my “Wang.”
Charlie: One week you say if you love me you won’t. The next week you say if you love me you will. That’s a guy’s line!
Charlie: Nothing else matters. That’s the great thing about love. Every time we argue, every time something goes wrong, and I know I’m not perfect either. Things just work out in the end, because you’re my baby and I love you.
Peggy: Who needs satellites when I got Delores’s mouth?
Grandpa: Dreams are fascinating business. Especially when you see the future.
Grandma: Being young is just as confusing as being old.
Grandma: Right now, we’re just browsing through time. Choose the things you’ll be proud of, and make it last.
Charlie: You’re the best. Make her love me. Feed me, charge me.
Mr. Kelcher: Show her a good time but for heaven’s sake, restrain yourself!
Peggy: You know what, if you we’re so neurotic and insecure, maybe you could shut up for a while and show some compassion!
Charlie: Who needs physics when we’ve got chemistry?
Charlie: Well, what’s the point of being a teenage if you can’t dress weird?
Charlie: I don’t have to flatter you. It just feels right. You’re the perfect girl for me, as in is, was, will always be.
Charlie: Your eyes look like silver pools in the moonlight when the tide rushes in.
Peggy: Doesn’t “Lucky Chucky” want to come out? You know, your “Love Machine,” your “Throbbing Thrill Hammer,” your “Thing.”
Charlie: You mean, my “Wang.”
Charlie: One week you say if you love me you won’t. The next week you say if you love me you will. That’s a guy’s line!
Charlie: Nothing else matters. That’s the great thing about love. Every time we argue, every time something goes wrong, and I know I’m not perfect either. Things just work out in the end, because you’re my baby and I love you.
Peggy: Who needs satellites when I got Delores’s mouth?
Grandpa: Dreams are fascinating business. Especially when you see the future.
Grandma: Being young is just as confusing as being old.
Grandma: Right now, we’re just browsing through time. Choose the things you’ll be proud of, and make it last.
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