Win A Date With Tad Hamilton

Pete: Sure, heaven is only a mouse click away.

Angelica: One day Pete, one day, I know the answer to that question will be, "You, Angelica." "You are the object of my desire."

Pete: Okay, this is how I know. If at any point in your date he says he doesn't really like watching sports, he's just trying to sleep with you. Oh, if he claims to love animals, then he's really just trying to sleep with you. Guys are guys, Rosie. Rich or poor, famous or grocers. Just do me one favor, okay? Guard your carnal treasure.

Kathy: Remember everything. Remember how he smells, but not just vaguely. I want good, solid similes. For example, he smells like a forest on the first day of spring...

Pete: Guard your carnal treasure!

Rosalee: Your films will stand the test of time.

Rosalee: Yikes-a-bee.

Rosalee: Shake-a-doo.

Kathy: I bet they are in her hotel room, straining for breath, his manhood yearning to be free, her hands running over the ripples in his abdomen, her perfect bosom crying out in ecstasy...

Rosalee: And to me, wonderfulness too. And to you, only the self same good wishes. You know what I'm saying?

Rosalee: The limo door swung open, my foot hit the ground, and I turned to take one last look at Tad, at those eyes, at that smile, and then, regretfully, I headed back to the hotel.
Pete: Please tell me we're done now.
Rosalee: We're done.
Pete: Wow. I cannot remember a time before you started telling that story.

Kathy: At which point, Tad, if you're going back to the airport, I'll ride with you and by the Route 73 clover leaf, I will have given myself to you in ways you've only read about in the drug store.

Pete: Kathy, he's not her type.
Kathy: No, rich, famous, handsome, ass like cement. You are absolutely right.

Tad: Rosalee, nobody is nobody. I'm following my gut. Sometimes you have to do that even if what you're doing seems crazy. Because in the gap between what prudence says we should do and what our heart tells us we must do, well, Rosie, there in lies our humanity.
Rosalee: That's from the Road to El Dorado.
Tad: Well, you really are a big fan, aren't ya?
Rosalee: Is that how you get women? You steal lines from your own movies.
Tad: Not anymore.
Rosalee: I hope not because I would serious shoot a hole in your credibility.
Tad: The truth is, that when we were on our date, you said something that really resignated with me, you said you were sure I had my priorities straight, but here's the thing. I don't, I really don't. My entire life since I was a teenager was about becoming successful and famous and this thing that I am. and you were right, it's unsatisfying. I need a positive influence. I need somebody with solid and substantial qualities who seems to understand life and how to live it in a good and happy way, like you. Just want to be around you. Just want some of that goodness to rub off on me.

Pete: He wants your goodness to rub off on him...?

Pete: There's innocent, there's child-like, and then there's just asking for it. Look he wants your goodness to rub off on him. He wants your ass to rub off on him is more like it.

Rosalee: You look so sad there.
Tad: Give me a break. I just lost my wife and my goat.

Rosalee: I am going to kill that Pete, bring him back to life, and then kill him again!

Tad: What happened here tonight was a force of nature. Two people set out to be friends but nature would have none of it. Nature wanted them to be more. And nature is going to let that tomorrow.

Kathy: Rosie, were Tad's pectorals light to the touch? Are they warm yet firm like...

Pete: Rosie, he's from Malibu, California. Okay, the only thing they grow there are breasts.

Pete: I want Rosie to be happy so I've got to ask you a couple of question. Do you know how long she keeps her hair in straight mode and how long she keeps it curly? Or why her favorite necklace is a starfish clasp? Do you even know she has six different smiles? One when something flat out makes her laugh. And one when she's laughing out of politeness. But there's one when she makes plans. One when she makes fun of herself. One when she's uncomfortable. And one, one when she's talking about her friends. She is more of a treasure than you could possibly know. She's not just some wholesome, small town girl, wholesome like good for you, breath of fresh air. Tad, she is a wonderful person with a huge heart. And the kind of beauty that a guy sees once, ya know. Once. So Tad, if there is even a chance that you could break her heart, please just for her sake, walk away man.

Angelica: So how much do you love her? Is it love, is it big love, or is it great love? Well love you get over in two months, big love two years, but great love, great love changes your life. Oh my god, it's great love.

Angelica: If you feel it and you don't do everything in your power to reach for it, you're basically slapping life in the face.

Angelica: As my father told me when I told him I'd never get that job in a bar, "Honey, your odds go up when you file an application."

Pete: I'm up against Tad Hamilton.
Angelica: You are Tad Hamilton. Don't you see? Everybody's Tad Hamilton to somebody, Pete. Rosalee is Tad Hamilton to you. You're Tad Hamilton to me.

Rosalee: Do you think it's possible to love someone your whole life and never really realize it until something happens and makes you see?

Angelica: When great love is rejected, Rosalee, something inside a man dies. So all he can do is run away. He can meet the girl he loves second most. Unless... unless you can get to him before he closes the book on you. But once it's closed, it's closed. It's finished. It's gone. Dead. It's crushed. It's beaten. It's buried. It is lost for all of time.

Rosalee: You have five smiles, Pete. One when you think someone's an idiot. One when you think someone's really an idiot. One when you're getting all dressed up. One when you're singing Barry White. And one, when you're looking at me.