Beastly

Beastly

Kyle: True or False: You are an aggressively, unattractive person. Hatchet face. Face zit. Face like Brooke Lega. Or did you only just miss the beauty vote. Any which way, best embrace the suck. Beautiful people get it better. That’s just the way it is. So, so, what’s this got to do with running for green committee president? Not much, except you’ll never like me because of my commitment to the environment. I don’t have one; I just want this for my transcript. But what you’ve got to ask yourself is, should you vote for me just because I’m the rich, popular, good looking guy with the famous news anchor dad, and the answer is, hell yeah!

Lindy: I’m substance over style.

Lindy: “I’m worthy of you.” It’s what white roses mean.

Kyle: You actually bought it. You bought that I would hook up with you. The self-mutilated tatted Franken-skank, who publicly humiliated me and almost cost me the election. No dice, sunshine. But hey, you can always buy a ticket. Or here’s a secret, sometimes they let you in because you’re eye candy. Is she eye candy? Ah, qué sera sera. Spanish for, sucks to be an ugly cow.
Kendra: I only came to give you a second chance.
Kyle: Guess I blew it.
Kendra: I guess so. But Kyle, best embrace the suck!

Kendra: You have a year to find someone to love you before the tree blooms again. When the spring flowers bloom again, the year is up. And either the words, “I love you” will release you from the spell. Or stay like this forever. As aggressively unattractive outside as you are inside.

Will: Love to, but how about you cage the rage and invite me in for a nice bowl of ‘Dad Sucks.’
Kyle: Obviously he forgot to spin the borderline hostile act by ordering a blind guy to tutor his creep show son. As we learn in calculus, I think I’ll take a pass.

Kendra: You learn nothing. Find someone who can see better than you can. Seven more months for someone to say I love you.

Sloan: I suck for not writing him back. But with him gone, it’s kind of a relief. I always felt like I had to be on and mean, really mean to keep him entertained.

Lindy: What happened to romance? Sappy, sappy long hand love letters. And you really, really don’t have to keep listening to me, by the way. The thing is, you know that guy they’re talking about? They’re way off. Personally I respect that he called things as he saw them; even if he did see them wrong. But you know what it really was? It was a shot at life.

Will: I went to this dance and some emo chick gave me a dart hex.
Kyle: Bite me.
Will: Be careful, lose your smarts and the blondes will be making jokes about you.
Kyle: My dad always said how much people like you, is directionally proportional to what you look like. But they hated me.
Will: High school, unquestionably, sucks ass.
Kyle: You went to regular school?
Will: I did. At fifteen, my friends lost their virginity, I lost my sight. But living hell has its upsides.
Kyle: Like better hearing?
Will: Yeah, and chicks dig blind guys.
Kyle: Well, too bad they don’t dig ugly guys.
Will: How do you know?

Will: Defining expectations, Blindy keeps up his vicious sense of style.
Kyle: Point being, no matter what, how you look matters?
Will: Point being, it’s not about how others look at me, it’s about how I look at myself. Mental Rubik’s cube I know, but one day it’ll make sense.

Kendra: Magic can’t be undone.

Lindy: I guess this cage set me free.

Kyle: Dear Lindy, I’ve been thinking about letters recently. The real ones, long hand, and how it’s terrible that nobody is writing them anymore. And so I decided to start one to you today. And I’m going to write to you every day for a long, long, long time. I guess I think, I think I might be in danger in falling in love with you.

Will: The last time I talked to her, she said she was hurt. And ‘hurt’ is girl code for ‘Call now, bonehead.’

Kyle: I was just scared that you didn’t love me. I didn’t think you could because of how ugly I am. I should’ve known better. That’s not who you are. You took one look at me and still said you’ve seen worse. Somehow, when I’m around you, I don’t feel ugly at all.
Lindy: It’s because you’re not.

Kyle: I get it. I met someone. She reminds me of you and she showed me that love can change you. Do you think that love can change you? And you believe the story I’m about to tell you. It’s about a guy, good looking on the outside, ugly on the inside, and there’s a curse and love changes it. What if it wasn’t a story, what if it was true? Can you imagine that love? Can you?