Zack: [debating whether or not Gil should become a member of the band] Bottom line: Dude rocks, but dude's too old.
Zack Van Gerbig: Hellhounds is a cool band name, but the positive imagery stops there.
Zack Van Gerbig: [singing] I saw her, in the mist she came walking by, Stella. Now a blur, made a list of what I like about her, Stella.
Zack: Welcome to the SH, bitch!
Zack Van Gerbig: Right. Where was I? Oh yeah. Lane... will you marry me?
Zack: [after coming back from a miserable honeymoon in Mexico] I found out I'm not morally opposed to killing. I just don't have the guts.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Gilmore Girls: Jackson Belleville
Jackson Belleville: You ruined Creedence for me!
Jackson Belleville: I have got a sobbing pregnant woman at home, which is not unusual except this time I didn't cause it!
Jackson Belleville: I have got a sobbing pregnant woman at home, which is not unusual except this time I didn't cause it!
Gilmore Girls: Logan Huntzberger
Logan: It'll be fun, it'll be a thrill. Something stupid, something bad for you. Just something different. Isn't this the point of being young? It's your choice, Ace. People can live a hundred years without really living for a minute. You climb up here with me, it's one less minute you haven't lived.
Gilmore Girls: Paris Gellar
Paris Geller: I did tell my mother about having sex with Jamie and her only reaction was to talk about how my father hasn't pleased her in 15 years.
Paris: You're 18 grandpa, sleep when you're dead.
Paris: Excuse me for thinking a banana-eating contest was about eating a banana!
Paris: No, it's National Baptism Day. Tie your tubes, idiot!
Paris: Well, I always wanted to know. You can't really ask a guy that because it's a sign of low self-esteem which I read in a magazine is really not sexy. So, be honest. How was I when I kissed you? Was I too stiff? Too forceful? Do I need to relax my lips a little, maybe open my mouth a little more? Make it more inviting?
Paris Geller: Aren't you worried that one night you're going to sleepwalk right into that pool and drown?
Paris Geller: A job. I've never had a job. I don't know the first thing about having a job. All I've got on my resume is academic achievements, which will mean doodly-squat when I'm in line with eleven thousand people vying for an opening in the gardening department at Walmart.
Paris Geller: I am not your mother or your hugger.
Paris Geller: If you need some love, get a hooker.
Paris: Well, well, if it isn't New Haven's favorite whorehound.
Paris: What do you want to talk about? Life? Love? Common symptoms of sexually transmitted diseases?
Paris: You, Logan Huntzburger, are nothing but a two-bit, spoiled waste of a trust fund! You offer nothing to women or the world in general! If you were to disappear from the face of the earth tomorrow, the only person that would miss you is your Porsche dealer!
Paris: She's got a C average which means she's either lazy or stupid. I can work with either. Frankly sometimes stupid is easier. I can scare the stupid out of you, but the lazy runs deep.
Paris: I don't particularly like to take on such meek, diffident cases. Do you even know what diffident means?
[Caitlyn shakes her head]
Paris: That's OK. That knowledge isn't really required for the retail doughnut distribution industry.
Paris: [to Caitlyn's mother] Do you want your kid to spend the rest of her life behind the counter at Dunkin Donuts? Do you?
[Caitlin's mother says "No"]
Paris: Because that's where she's headed - selling chocolate doughnuts and glazed fritters for 40 years to people in business suits who actually gave a crap about their academic future.
Paris: Okay, enough of the hysterics. I have a big decision to make ,and all of this hooting and hollering is not exactly helping matters!
Paris: You're 18 grandpa, sleep when you're dead.
Paris: Excuse me for thinking a banana-eating contest was about eating a banana!
Paris: No, it's National Baptism Day. Tie your tubes, idiot!
Paris: Well, I always wanted to know. You can't really ask a guy that because it's a sign of low self-esteem which I read in a magazine is really not sexy. So, be honest. How was I when I kissed you? Was I too stiff? Too forceful? Do I need to relax my lips a little, maybe open my mouth a little more? Make it more inviting?
Paris Geller: Aren't you worried that one night you're going to sleepwalk right into that pool and drown?
Paris Geller: A job. I've never had a job. I don't know the first thing about having a job. All I've got on my resume is academic achievements, which will mean doodly-squat when I'm in line with eleven thousand people vying for an opening in the gardening department at Walmart.
Paris Geller: I am not your mother or your hugger.
Paris Geller: If you need some love, get a hooker.
Paris: Well, well, if it isn't New Haven's favorite whorehound.
Paris: What do you want to talk about? Life? Love? Common symptoms of sexually transmitted diseases?
Paris: You, Logan Huntzburger, are nothing but a two-bit, spoiled waste of a trust fund! You offer nothing to women or the world in general! If you were to disappear from the face of the earth tomorrow, the only person that would miss you is your Porsche dealer!
Paris: She's got a C average which means she's either lazy or stupid. I can work with either. Frankly sometimes stupid is easier. I can scare the stupid out of you, but the lazy runs deep.
Paris: I don't particularly like to take on such meek, diffident cases. Do you even know what diffident means?
[Caitlyn shakes her head]
Paris: That's OK. That knowledge isn't really required for the retail doughnut distribution industry.
Paris: [to Caitlyn's mother] Do you want your kid to spend the rest of her life behind the counter at Dunkin Donuts? Do you?
[Caitlin's mother says "No"]
Paris: Because that's where she's headed - selling chocolate doughnuts and glazed fritters for 40 years to people in business suits who actually gave a crap about their academic future.
Paris: Okay, enough of the hysterics. I have a big decision to make ,and all of this hooting and hollering is not exactly helping matters!
Gilmore Girls: Michel Gerard
Michel Gerard: Well, this is wonderful, to smell like a dead person. You'll have to beat them off with a stick.
Michel Gerard: But you wrote it down on a gum wrapper.
Michel: I insist you do something about this before I go out and find a stick and make it pointy and come and find your cubicle and poke you very hard!
Michel: Suki trusts no one else with the sauces, she makes the sauces.
Michel: Well, that man does the cleaning, that man over there dresses the plates, that man uses tongs and... I have no idea what that man in the corner does but I will check his trunk before he leaves.
Michel: Absolutely, ain't no mountain high enough.
Michel Gerard: I'm sorry, if you're talking to me you'll have to do it in woofs.
Michel Gerard: But you wrote it down on a gum wrapper.
Michel: I insist you do something about this before I go out and find a stick and make it pointy and come and find your cubicle and poke you very hard!
Michel: Suki trusts no one else with the sauces, she makes the sauces.
Michel: Well, that man does the cleaning, that man over there dresses the plates, that man uses tongs and... I have no idea what that man in the corner does but I will check his trunk before he leaves.
Michel: Absolutely, ain't no mountain high enough.
Michel Gerard: I'm sorry, if you're talking to me you'll have to do it in woofs.
Gilmore Girls: Lane Kim
Lane: That's so cute, you're like a really sweet old agoraphobic couple!
Lane Kim: Hello, Mama? Hi, how are you doing tonight? It's Lane. Yeah, Lane. Nothing's wrong. In fact, I'm feeling pretty good right now. Had a beer and a half - nice cold beer - and I just thought I'd tell you I'm drumming in a band tonight at a party and we rocked. We were the Clash and Rage Against the Machine and Nirvana combined. And i'm in love with Dave Rygalski. He's my guy, not Young Chui. Young Chui is a ship in the night, Mama. Not even a ship. He's a little tugboat tooting along. And I'm not going to the prom with him. Uh-uh. I'm going with Dave. Because we rock together, Mama. The charade is over!
Lane Kim: You cannot put those flyers in here! I'm surprised my mother told you that you could, but you can't! So, go stand on a street corner like I had to do ages six through fourteen! - Go! - What?
Lane Kim: Hello, Mama? Hi, how are you doing tonight? It's Lane. Yeah, Lane. Nothing's wrong. In fact, I'm feeling pretty good right now. Had a beer and a half - nice cold beer - and I just thought I'd tell you I'm drumming in a band tonight at a party and we rocked. We were the Clash and Rage Against the Machine and Nirvana combined. And i'm in love with Dave Rygalski. He's my guy, not Young Chui. Young Chui is a ship in the night, Mama. Not even a ship. He's a little tugboat tooting along. And I'm not going to the prom with him. Uh-uh. I'm going with Dave. Because we rock together, Mama. The charade is over!
Lane Kim: You cannot put those flyers in here! I'm surprised my mother told you that you could, but you can't! So, go stand on a street corner like I had to do ages six through fourteen! - Go! - What?
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