Grey's Anatomy: Patients

Annie Connors: Seriously? You're equating your pathetic love life with my record breaking tumor? Seriously?

Mr. Levangie: I tell ya what Blondie, if you don’t marry him, I will.

Mr. Levangie: I know it's not perfect, but it's life. Life is messy sometimes.

Devo 'Ester' Friedman: You don't believe in anything. How appropriate. Patron saint of lost causes.

Devo 'Ester' Friedman: My freak father likes hospital food.

Devo 'Ester' Friedman: Get a life, haven't you ever seen an Orthodox Jew?

Devo 'Ester' Friedman: Do you know what it’s like being a teenager these days. My friends spend most of their time screwing around and getting wasted. At least I have God.

Mr. Duff: I wouldn’t have picked you for the mommy track, Nurse Betty.

Mr. Duff: You're into me. I can tell. "Dr. Small and Angry" was a hot appetizer, but you, Doc, are a smorgasbord of lust.

Mr. Duff: Hello! They're not seizures, they're visions. I'm psychic.

Helen Rubenstein: I keep telling her there's more to life than surgery and career.

Helen Rubenstein: The daughter I raised would appreciate her mother's help.

Helen Rubenstein: But in this moment, you’re the ass who gave me my life back.

Bonnie Crasnoff: You're a cute doctor. Cute doctors can call me by my first name.

Bonnie Crasnoff: How can you be a surgeon and have so little respect for life?

Esme: Otters mate for life, you know.

Esme: It’s not a lie. It’s our future. I’ve been with the love of my life for 60 years. And now I’m dying. We’re going to Venice. We’re getting in that gondola.

Esme: They say that if you ride a gondola under the bridge of sighs, you’re together for eternity.

Sav: It’s not like I have a lot of options. One, take my chances and never get cancer. Two, take my chances and die young.

Weis: Yep, and here’s to bull and here’s to crap. Here’s to losing your wide. Here’s to being the ass who can’t be supportive. Here’s to that.

Sav: Menopause, I know. Boobs. But they have hormone replacements. Reconstructions. But the sexy Savvy, the Savvy that gets noticed when she walks into the room, the Savvy that loves to wake her husband up in the middle of the night to make love, yeah, I wonder if that Savvy is still gonna be there. Honestly I haven’t a clue. But then I think, is that why Weis married me? God, I hope not.

Sav: I’m sorry Derek because I love you and really glad to see you but until you grow a uterus and watch your mother die from this disease, you don’t get a vote.

Sav: I know what I’m losing. I get it. But I know what I’m gaining. My life. This gives me a shot, a shot at the future, a shot at me and Weis, becoming this crazy old, wrinkled couple that argues all the time. I mean, wouldn’t you want that. A chance to grow old with Derek?

Nicole Verma: I know you're a doctor, I'm your patient, and it's against the rules, but, I would never tell anyone.

Nicole Verma: If I had a chance to kiss someone I liked, I wouldn’t hesitate.

Nicole Verma: I’m getting the operation. You two talk and talk but have you noticed how you never ask me anything. Part of it’s my fault that I let you do it, but I’m not cheating anymore. I’m not sitting back and giving over control because I am ready to handle things for myself.

Dorie Russell: Wow, look at you two. Everybody must hate you.

Patient: You’re not a mother. You don’t know what it’s like to hold your newborn baby in your arms, and smell the top of her head, and know that your only job in this world is to protect her.

Constance Ferguson: Start off with a little small talk, why don't ya.

Tim Epstein: The good news is, my head broke my fall.

Mrs. Epstein: He'll probably be fine. He's always been a little hard-headed.

Tim Epstein: I’m so glad we came to this hospital so I could have myself treated by a bunch of quacks who don’t know the inside of their asses from my skull.

Blushing patient: I can’t get mad, I can’t be happy I can’t feel anything without the whole world knowing about it. I can't have secret. Can you imagine living that way your entire life?

Nadia's Mother: Thank God is right, because we're certainly not gonna thank you. We should sue you for all you're worth. We sat here, and sat here, and sat here, and sat here... And sat here, and watched you take patient after patient... And made my daughter wait for three whole days for her operation. I should sue you and this whole damned hospital!

Malar Pascowitz: I poured my heart and soul into that freaking book, and now it's stuck up my ass! Put that on my tombstone Audrey! On my tombstone!

Malar Pascowitz: Lying here trapped in this flesh prison I’ve reached a grim conclusion. I’m a failure.

Audrey: The man ate his novel. He’s not normal.

Dana Seabury: I have never smoked a cigarette in my life, I have never smoked pot, I've never drank, before today I hadn't a desert for ten years! I'm the picture of health and I have lung cancer!

Dana Seabury: I mean come on, it's absurd right? I'm sorry, I think I'm on a sugar high or something.

Dana Seabury: So I’m going to go into the bathroom and if I find myself alone in there after two minutes, I’ll just touch up my makeup and come back out. But should you have any interest in fulfilling the wish of a potentially dying woman, you know where I’ll be.

Frank: Dr. Stephens? Frank can sense the vibes.

Frank: What? You've never did anything crazy for love?

Frank: Then un-complicate it. Grand gesture is what I'm talking about. Be like Frank. Just figure out what she wants, then make it happen. She'll forget all about the other guy. Trust Frank. Frank knows.

Allison: I may not know much, but I do know fighting. And people who fight like you and Izzie, those people love each other. She misses her friend.

Allison: That's a good sign. Fighting leads to good make up sex. Are you watching birds fly around my head again? Am I like totally Snow White now?

“Mama” hillbilly patient: I don’t have any panties on and I do not know you well enough to let you see my good girl. Get me a lady doctor.

“Mama”: Ya’ll don’t have to whisper. I’m sittin’ right here. I can hear ya anyway. She’s my baby. She’s my little girl. Big decision like this, going back in and sewing up organs, it’s a kind of decision that a mama should be involved in. Now all her life, she’s asked me everything from what color dress she ought to wear to her kindergarten dance to what she ought to name her baby. I’m her mama. It’s my job to have an opinion. My job to have an answer. Well, I may not have an answer here, but I’m still her mama. And you just don’t have to whisper.

Jeremy West: We're not finished yet. I've not finished loving you.

Anna Loomis: When you spend your life with someone and you have kids together, you think it'll always be this amazing, and this wonderful. You think that you'll always feel that kind of love and I do, I do love Phil. I just... well little pieces of you get chipped away by another person and then you shave little pieces of yourself away so you'll fit together and then one day you look up and you don't even know who you are.

Anna Loomis: Spare me your white girl cultural divided love. You don’t anger the ancestors even if you pierce your tongue and play in a band.

Mr. Humphrey: Look, I fantasized about you. About the woman in this photo, whoever she is. I'm not proud of it, but it's a fact. Do you know what they're gonna do to me today? I have cancer. And they're gonna lift up my legs and expose me to the world, and cut out my prostate, and my nerves. Effectively neuter me. So is it so hard to understand that I don't want the woman who is in that photo to witness... my emasculation?

Old man Patient: Learning is like healing, it happens over time.

Old man Patient: Keep running but not because you want to cut corners, but because it makes you better doctors.

Naomi: You people with your tumors. I’m infected with love.

Patient: Illness is a sign of weakness. Once they see it, they never look at you the same way again.

Steve: Normally you don't expect your one night stand to stick with you through a tumor.

Yumi: Tell him I eat little boys like him for breakfast.

Yumi’s coach: She wonders how a wrestler got to be smart enough to become a doctor. Most wrestlers she knows are dumb.

Sophie Larson: With those eyes and those nice firm hands. Girl chooses a dog over you. It must be one hell of a dog.

Sophie Larson: Nursing homes are for old people. I know I’m elderly. I do know that. But if I have to go that place, I’m afraid I’ll become old.

Sophie Larson: No darling you can’t waste any more time with me. You have to go balls out with the dog. So she chose a dog over you! So what? Women are fools. That’s old news. But life’s too short for you to give in Irish. So fight, you fight for what’s yours.

Sophie Larson: I love the Irish, they have a sparkle. You can see it in the eye and they have swagger.

Justin’s mom: A mother’s job is to protect her child’s innocence.

Justin: Tell that fat ass to give it to someone else, I don’t want it.

Isaac: There is always a way. When things look like there's no way, there is a way. To do the impossible, to survive the unsurvivable... There's always a way.

Lloyd: Dying is a get out of jail free card. I can be as bold as I want and get away with it. So I flirt. Haven’t you ever been attracted to someone you know you couldn't have? To be young and in love.

Lloyd: Ah, the pretty ones always come crawling back.

Digby Owens: My art is about commitment. An ethos. Why do anything unless you're willing to go one step further than anyone else? Pain is the great divine.

Mindy: Nobody reenacts World War II, you moron. My husband and his moron best friend, decided to build some kind of big gun. So they put on their stupid costumes and they go out into the backyard. And try to shoot the damn thing. It didn’t work. So like an idiot my husband has to go stand in front of his big gun to see what went wrong. That’s when the stupid toy starts working. It’s taking up half my garage, I’ll call it whatever I want!

Jake: You have really nice eyes, you know. I’m just saying that you’re mostly all surly and hardcore, but your eyes aren’t. I’m really big on eyes, the only part of my face where the tumor isn’t growing. You get that I’m jail bait, right?

Deborah: Love means never having to use your husband as a human shield.
Neil: We shared a bullet. It went through you and into me. That’s a sign, a sign that we should be together forever.
Deborah: No, Neil. She’s shooting water through my arm. I can see you through my arm. That’s another sign.

Camille: You know that feeling when you look into someone’s eyes and you’re totally comfortable and you aren’t self conscious, and you just think everything’s just like perfect.

Camille: I wanted to go to prom; I didn’t want to be the girl with cancer again.

Camille: Be kind to him. He loves me. I’ve been loved. And that’s something everyone should have once in their life. I’m in love.

Chief’s niece’s friends: It’s okay. The hot ones are always mean. It’s like rule or something.

Chief’s niece’s friends: Don’t you dare try to judge us for trying to make our friend, who just so happens to be dying of cancer, happy. The color does matter, maybe not to you, but it does matter.

School girl: Do we look like the kind of girls who get pregnant and throw our baby in the trash?

Benjamin O’Leary: This doctor looks annoyed. Although it’s hard to tell, because she always has this pinched, uptight look on her face. Am I annoying you?

Benjamin O’Leary: Is that blonde your girlfriend? Because the way you keep looking at her, you mind as well mount her right here and now. I’m sorry, was that rude?

Benjamin O' Leary: Did you have sex with that brain surgeon? I would, he’s hot. And arrogant, in a way that’s still sexy. I would totally have sex with him if I could. Looked like you could. So what’s the hold up?

Megan: Superheroes are all kids with dead parents, like me. They all figured out when they were around my age they could do things nobody else could, like me.

Megan: You’re a homes-bag, you know that?

Patient: You are old enough to know that your parents are sexual beings and that they make mistakes.

Don(na): Are you saying if I become a woman I could die?

Patient: You’re fishing through my poop, how smart are you?

Heather Douglas: What are you all staring at? Really, if you’re expecting me to be the brave and heartwarming differently-abled girl, that isn’t going to happen. So go ahead and do your thing.

Heather Douglas: Wow. Give this girl a medal. She memorized the whole acronym, which I assure you is a hell of a lot easier than living with it.

Heather Douglas: Let’s see, if by more radical you mean having a steel rod in my spine. Then yeah, we tried. The rod just bent.

Heather Douglas: Really, so this surgery is going to get me laid? Mom, I’m sorry but she is talking about improving my quality of life. And I don’t think doctors should make promises they can’t keep.

Heather Douglas: You’re way too hot to be a doctor. I mean, aren’t people who look like you supposed to be dumb? I’m just saying, you’re not going to be in my surgery because I’m a little too young to die.

Heather Douglas: It’s not nice to mock cripple kids.

Heather Douglas: Well so much for my theory that life doesn’t suck for pretty people.

Heather Douglas: Mom, I know you still think death is the worst thing that can happen to a person. Death is not the worst thing.

Cathy: I am a sexual person. I am a normal sexual person. I like sex. I need sex. And he won’t do it. He won’t have sex with me. He just won’t.

Rebecca Bloom: I’m not going to miss out on an experience my body was made for just because it was more convenient for you.

Greg: You’re either ham or eggs. You’ve got to ask yourself in every situation, are you the chicken or are you the pig? You’ve got a plate of ham and eggs. The chicken is involved in the meal, but the pig is committed. Now the question is are you involved or committed.

Trish: You don’t leave the people you love alone, Dr. Grey. That idiot may not know it yet, but my fear is what’s going to save his life.

Martin: Illness is a sign of weakness. Once they see it, they never look at you the same way again.

Hillary: Okay, the last thing I am is a “disappointment”. I get straight A’s. I’m on honor roll. I’m run the student council. I basically am the student paper. I tutor kids with reading problems. I’m every parent’s dream come true, especially yours. I was exploring the bounds of my consciousness with the help of a mushroom. I made a calculated risk of going on the roof, and falling off; well that was the low-probability of it. And even though the low-probability events are getting weaker. And this one did. And see, you’re bummed. And this reminds you of your own fallibility. And I’m bummed too, so let’s just leave it at that.

Leech Patient: Sometimes no matter how much you love someone they just can’t love you back in the same way. Living with a woman you can’t love you back, way lonelier than being along.

Mr. Singer: So you’re going to go right into that school and show those cheerleaders you have nothing to be ashamed of. Those little bitches are poisonous.

Mr. Singer: You’re crazy. I’d never go back to those sex-crazed, teenage alcoholics.

Molly: How do you explain your boobs to the next chick who’s dumb enough to date you?

Don: I can call Kim, and we’ll get a justice of the peace, and she and Scott can get married right her in this room. You don’t even like weddings. The salmon is too dry, the flowers will make you sneeze, and Kim will be angry at you because women get angry at their mothers at weddings because that’s how they handle their stress. Do you think she cares about her wedding? Her mother is dying. They’re trying to offer you a life, a whole long life. And no, they’re not going to know what they’re going to find, and it’s a gamble. But how can you not take that chance because of a wedding? There’ll be grandkids, and arguments, and God knows what else and she’ll need you for those. And I’ll need you.

Sadie: My life is in pieces, all the time. And they just keep breaking. And as soon as I fix one, another one goes down. I’m just trying to keep it together, you know, piece by piece.

Prisoner: People are alive when they meet us. Then it all changes somehow.