Jess: I see you brought a little something, too. Is that ice cream? That's so nice. A tiny little ice cream package just big enough for two. Hey are you guys gonna feed each other? 'cause that's just so darn cute.
Jess: Oops, you're doing that towering over-me-thing. huh. I tell you, you've really got that down. It helps that your 12 feet tall. But this whole Frankenstein scowl thing really adds to the whole...
Jess Mariano: Ok, so I guess we should be getting back. I did promise to study if you'd go on this ice cream run with me.
Jess: Hey, Romeo and Juliet had warring families and they still managed to do a little damage.
Jess: Would you like me to have you committed, or would you rather check yourself in?
Jess Mariano: It's a keg. It's sealed. You need to hook up a tap to pump the beer out.
Jess: Raise me? I'm 18, I'm raised! I can vote, I can be drafted, it's a little late to throw me a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles birthday party!
Jess: You have nothing? I have nothing! I have no place to go! I can't stay at Luke's, I can't stay in Stars Hollow, my mother's a wack job! I mean, you're saying you're this loser and what- you don't want to take me off this terrific path I'm headed down right now? I'm not graduating high school! I don't know what I'm gonna do with the rest of my life but something's telling me I better find out soon or I'm gonna be that guy out there on the boardwalk selling the hemp hats!
Jess: A solution would have been birth control. Too late, move on.
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