Gilmore Girls: Lorelai & Emily

Emily: You took that girl and completely shut us out of your life.
Lorelai: You wanted to control me.
Emily: You were still a child.
Lorelai: I stopped being a child the minute the strip turned pink, okay? I had to figure out how to live. I found a good job.
Emily: As a maid. With all your brains and talent.
Lorelai: I worked my way up. I run the place now. I built a life on my own with no help from anyone.
Emily: Yes, and think of where you would have been if you'd accepted a little help, hmm? And where Rory would have been. But no, you were always too proud to accept anything from anyone.
Lorelai: Well, I wasn't too proud to come here to you two begging for money for my kid's school, was I?
Emily: No, you certainly weren't. But you're too proud to let her know where you got it from, aren't you? Well, fine, you have your precious pride and I have my weekly dinners. Isn't that nice? We both win.

Emily: You are impossible to reach.
Lorelai: Well there's no messages on the machine, Mom.
Emily: I don't leave messages. If I wanted to talk to a machine I'd talk to my VCR. Where were you?
Lorelai: At a wake.
Emily: A what?
Lorelai: A wake... a funeral.
Emily: A funeral? Whose?
Lorelai: It was for the neighbors' -
[Rory tries signal Lorelai not to say it]
Lorelai: - cat.
[Emily is silent]
Lorelai: Mom?
Emily: Hold on. I'm looking up anyuresm in our medical dictionary to see if I just had one.
Lorelai: I just wanted to be honest with you, Mom. Silly me.

Emily: Somebody, say something. Anything!
Lorelai: Did you know that a butt model makes 10,000 dollars a day?

Emily Gilmore: That's a pretty color. What is that?
Lorelai Gilmore: It's called "Vicious Trollop".
Emily Gilmore: Oh stop it.

Emily Gilmore: Now why would you name a lipstick something like that?
Lorelai Gilmore: 'Cause "Dirty Whore" was taken?

Emily Gilmore: Why can't we have what you and Rory have?
Lorelai Gilmore: Rory and I are different, mom.
Emily Gilmore: We're mother and daughter. You're mother and daughter. It shouldn't be different.
Lorelai Gilmore: It's completely different. It couldn't be more different.
Emily Gilmore: But why?
Lorelai Gilmore: I grew up in a different environment.
Emily Gilmore: You mean an oppressive environment.
Lorelai Gilmore: No, mom, I mean a different environment. And plus, I was so young when I had Rory.
Emily Gilmore: So because I waited until I was grown and married I can't have a relationship with my daughter?
Lorelai Gilmore: No.
Emily Gilmore: Well, then why?
Lorelai Gilmore: Rory and I are best friends, mom. We're best friends first and mother and daughter second. And you and I are mother and daughter always.

Emily Gilmore: They're at some restaurant in Times Square, he said that Times Square just keeps getting cleaner and cleaner, they didn't stumble upon one prostitute the whole night.
Lorelai Gilmore: Oh yeah, I heard the Disney company had them all killed.

Emily: It's a complete disaster!
Lorelai: My existence?

Lorelai Gilmore: Wyle E. Coyote used them, that's how common they were.
Emily Gilmore: Who?
Lorelai Gilmore: The cartoon, he was always trying to drop an anvil on the road runners head, or shoot it at him out of a giant slingshot or fire it at him out of a cannon, inevitably, the cannon tilted up, shot it in the air, it fell down, and made an anvil shaped impression on Wyle E. Coyote's head.
Emily Gilmore: This is a cartoon?
Lorelai Gilmore: No, no, this just happened to me the other day, I was walking down the street and this giant anvil... YES MOTHER IT'S A CARTOON!

Emily Gilmore: I'm all alone here and I desperately need to run a couple of errands.
Lorelai Gilmore: And there's no one else?
Emily Gilmore: I don't remember being in labor for 14 hours with anyone else, so no, there's no one else.

Lorelai Gilmore: Well, come on, Mom, what did you think... They were going to throw down and consummate it right in the foyer?
Emily Gilmore: No, I didn't think they were going to "throw down" and "consummate" it in the foyer, I just thought they could go out for some coffee.

Emily Gilmore: A grandparent is a type of parent.
Lorelai Gilmore: No, it's not.
Emily Gilmore: A grand piano is a type of piano, is it not?

Emily Gilmore: Some overused sayings are true, like children should be seen and not heard.
Lorelai Gilmore: Mother knows best.
Emily Gilmore: If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.