Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Degrassi: The Next Generation: Gavin 'Spinner' Mason

What are you going to do for a face when the monkey wants its butt back?

Sorry I don’t speak dork.

Man, any more bitter and she'd be a lemon.

A binder boner shield.

Sorry, excitement makes me fart.

Um, we're not all like Dean. Some of us are good guys.

C'mon JT, you'll love a locker in the main hallway. Do you like tough girls?

Dude, you got a girl pregnant and you’re just walking around like ‘La La La, Gonna be a dad,’ no schlaboggle.

I can’t. My bat, it’s wooden.

You become this weak, pathetic puppet when she’s around and she becomes this evil puppet master. This is you. ‘Ashley I don’t want to go…’ Whipsh! ‘Okay, okay. I’m going.’ Whipsh! ‘Ow, that’s hurts.’

Yeah, the truth does hurt.

Who cares about girls’ sports? Except for mud wrestling.

You actually look... alive.

Like you know anything about getting to home plate, you’re too busy checking out the bat boy.

Dude, admit it. You have a man crush.

Where’s your future, dude? I mean no keg parties, no spring break in Florida.

Water represents life and in Moby Dick, Ishmael goes on the ship looking for the meaning of life.

What are you doing here? Terri’s in the hospital and you’re just sitting here?!

Dude it’s not grade 9 public speaking. Just go up to him and say, ‘Dude. I like you. You like me. Let’s hook up.’ Okay, maybe not those exact words, but just go.

Dating is war. You have to be ready to fight dirty.

Yeah, can’t wait to tell everyone we skipped and moped around all day with the Queen of Doom.

They don’t because Paige isn’t a slut and she doesn’t go at it with other people’s boyfriends. Look, JT I didn’t mean to get all up in your fries, just don’t fall for a girl like Manny. She has a reputation for a reason.

[Kid Elrick lyric] I wants me to find a girl to love, a girl with wealth and class. But most of all, I wants me a girl with bootylicious…

Any more bitter and she’d be a lemon.

Rule is, you get fired, you don’t pop by.

In the end, all my thoughts come back to you.

Well I’m here to support you in your first shift wearing man made fibers.

In the bathroom, after we dumped that stuff on Rick, me and Jay told him you were behind it.

Jimmy was my best friend. I basically cut his legs off. I don’t like to broadcast that.

But there are good people out there who don’t believe in Jesus, do they just go to hell?

If Jesus didn’t want us to have sex he’d make every girl look like Quasi Moto’s sister.

Does the gay superhero know you took his belt?

She said there would always be an us. And she crushed my heart with a bus. I pledged abstinence and faith because she said ‘twas was forever, now it’s just me.

This is the future baby. I’m turning you into the next Jean Jean.

Man we are going to be famous fashion designers just like Duchy and Gabbana.

Degrassi: The Next Generation: Jimmy Brooks

Your friend's gay, stop hating and just deal.

Manny Santos, my how you've grown!

You’ve got to lead the horse to the water, my friend. You can’t make her drink, but you can make her thirsty.

Don’t make me start a Terry list. Top line, you’re nosy. Doesn’t mind own business.

16. Dances like a stupid robot. 17. Bad taste in movies.

So you come to my house to steal my parents’ booze.

If jerks like him knew how beautiful you are on the inside, they’d keep their mouth shut.

‘We cling to one another. Storm raging around. My head slips under the water, you can’t hear me cry. So I let go. Drift away, leave your comfort behind to save us.’

What you need is some sleep because it’s obvious you’re not getting enough oxygen to your brain.

Hey, if people make fun of your tomorrow just be like, ‘Don’t be all up in my fries, dog.’

Sweet of you to bring this disguise but hate to tell you it does nothing to hide this enormous pile of scrap metal that I’m sitting in.

It was more like a ‘What’s with the gimp?’ drive by?

Today was an obstacle course, okay. I brought my A-game. I had my A-game. I’m ready to come home, now you have to be ready for it.

Wheels. Chair. It’s a wheel chair. Gawk all you want, it’s not going away.

I understand. I probably should have been there for you instead at the hospital getting a bullet removed from my spine. My bad.

Rick put me in this chair for life. For life! Sometimes I just wish he had better aim. Finish the job.

How do you know what I mean? Are you in the chair, huh? Do you wake up every morning thinking you can walk and then remembering that you will never ever walk again?! It’s not your fault. It’s mine.

Alex, it’s a heart. Try to find one.

I got something for it. Ashley please don’t go, please don’t leave me. Don’t fall in love with an ugly limey.

Okay, you can’t throw fries at a kid in a wheelchair.

The power from the shot comes from your legs, not from your hands. The hands just guide the ball.

Congratulations, you just got beat by a cripple.

Just because they let you back, it does not change who you are.

Just a heads up. You should be careful with this guy. He’s dangerous, you know. He tends to get people shot. That’s no good. I don’t know what he told you but I doubt it’s the truth.

Downtown Sasquatch, go forth and play the chicken dance.

I just draw stuff I imagine. Stuff I see when I close my eyes. It’s like I have a pen in my hand and everything goes shhh… and then I can say everything want to say, everything I need to say right there on a piece of paper.

I can’t. That’s impossible. I’m in a wheelchair. Okay? I’m never walking again. You keep trying to bring this old Jimmy back. The star player. The athlete. That Jimmy is gone. That Jimmy got shot.

Look, when I said you were dead to me, I meant forever. You don’t exist.

There’s not much brain to wash.

Yeah I guess it’s kinda hard to find a school with such a unique combo of shootings and gonorrhea outbreaks.

Ellie Nash, my biggest fan.

Me and you, we’re friends but we’re also guys, ergo we do not talk about our sex lives, okay.

We cannot live without ‘you know’.

Is that all there is? I have to turn into a sex robot, pump me up and watch me go?

I just don’t want to be a virgin for the rest of my life.

Do you know what it feels like for your epitaph to read Jimmy Brooks, Crippled Virgin?

If you’re lucky enough to find someone you love who loves you back, it’s a gift. You know what I’m saying?

Degrassi: The Next Generation: Manny Santos

One more thing, no talking about the environment. The environment is not sexy. Do not talk about it.

J.T.'s a boy. Who knows what's going on in his head?

Is that the sound of your heart pounding? No wait... it’s mine.

I know it's not good for me. But it tastes like... happy!

Because you’re stupid Craig. You didn’t think she’d find out about me and you didn’t think I’d find out your lies.

Someday you’re gonna be a great dad and someday I’ll hope I’ll a great mom but now someday isn't someday yet.

My thighs are an epidemic and they're taking over the WORLD!

Are you coo-coo bananas?

Does Mexico know you've taken all their Tequila?

Every girl is entitled to a secret...two...or three.

There’s a rule. The youngest you can date is half your age plus seven.

Want to hear my mission? I want to be hot. Not cute, not adorable, hot. There’s no way I’m getting dumped this year for being too young.

I’m always there for you Emma. When you fight with Sean, when you find out your mom is pregnant, for your stupid environmental club. The one time it’s not about you, you do this about me.

Fine. This is who I am now, Em. If you can’t accept that, then don’t talk to me.

Craig, you’re the best. And if Ash doesn’t see that, then she doesn’t deserve you.

Toby, stop being weird.

Well, I guess you just have to separate yourself from him. You know, your emotions. They seem to be getting in the way. Just let them go.

Looking at you doesn’t really make me feel like smiling.

Anyone named Maud will pick their nose and eat glue.

At school when people talk about me, I walk. At a party, I’m stuck.

Coming from the school tramp, I don’t think they’d listen.

We’re having fun right, so why do we have to go and make it all official?

You’re on the rebound. It means everything. Rebounds never work out so we end it now before either one of us gets hurt.

Hey Mr. Pedophile, I mean Oleander, don’t make your girlfriend Paige even more jealous of me.

For being a big fat useless pile of nothing.

If I peed in the foyer, Paige would have claimed she gave me the water.

Hair jewelry, right. That fixes my totally sucky life for sure.

Fine, fine, fine as in boring. Like mass, Latin, holy hot altar boys out with the flu.

Jay, when I was born, Star Wars had already been out on film for ten whole years. You’re too old.

They won’t be laughing when I’m famous.

Maybe we should make a little movie because cameras never lie.

I’m gonna be an actress, like Academy Award winning. You could sell this for a million dollars, because I’m gonna be famous.

Hey, you tell me he’s hands off and he’s hands off. That’s just the law. Like Girl’s Scout Honor.

Em, I screwed up so bad. I lost my family, my reputation, and my best friend.

It’s not really a date if you want to tag along.

Quit the hero act Peter, you’re not fooling anyone. We all know you’re scum.

He so has a thing for cheerleaders. You’re number three and a lock for head cheerleader next year. You’re cheery, graceful, and you didn’t get kicked off because everyone saw your boobs. So that’s a bonus.

As in abs-to-no-sex. Kudos for you making that happen with Spin. You must be a miracle worker.

Liberty sees an opportunity, she goes for it. She’s like a rabid wolverine.

Sweat on you, kinda cute. You sweating on food service items, a little less cute.

I’m also worried about my best friend who’s being an emotional ping pong ball. Sean. Peter. Peter. Sean.

When my new manicure meets your face, then you’ll be sorry.

‘Okay’ is not a Peter word. Try, um, ‘psycho,’ ‘serial killer-y,’ uh, ‘satanic’ in your language.

Ouch, I hope you had a soft landing when you fell off that pedestal.

Really, because I thought being constantly rejected by guys would mess you up, Ellie.

Craig lied. That’s what drug addicts do.

Does Mexico know you’ve taken all their tequila?

Going to finals is like scaling Mt. Everest with pom poms.

There’s only one four letter word in the male dictionary: commitment.

Degrassi: The Next Generation: Emma Nelson

[poem] Ancient waves so pure, laughing on the shores of time, early death our fault.

You really want to become some pom-pom pumping robot?

Where's my lucky bra?! The one that gives me 'Manny' boobs!

So now instead of just being tongue-tied in front of him I will actually have to barf on his shoes!

You can't label people.

I agree with you, okay? If she was just some stranger I'd be *furious* with her but, she's my friend and it's her choice.

I have NO chance with Chris! It's like he's on a different planet or something. A COOL planet. I'm on planet White Dork.

If your parents insist on buying tropical hardwood, tell them that by buying the toilet seat they're destroying the rain forest.

When guys like you date single moms they always try to bribe the kids.

Fellow students, staff, and faculty, I’ve been asked here this morning to apologize to you and to Mr. Raditch. But I can’t, I can’t apologize for wanted to be heard. I’m sorry the food fight happened and for making a mess in Sheila’s cafeteria, but other than that, I feel I did nothing wrong yesterday. You can agree or disagree with me about GM foods, that’s not the point. The point is, I have a right to express my natural opinion. And you have a right to be informed. If fighting for that will get me a week’s suspension, then I can live with that.

You’re dressing like an idiot. But what I really care is how you’re acting.

When you gave birth, it was to a baby not a jet engine, right?

Mom, Jack’s not in a bubble.

You abandoned me at the rave so that you could come here with Craig?

Sean, ancient history. Jurassic. And now like the dinosaurs, extinct.

I like it better when you smile. And I think you have great taste in hats, and even better taste in music, and I love it that you make me feel fun again. I think you should give me another chance. I promise to never talk about Sean again. Okay, once more only to say that I did what I did because he broke my heart.

See, Baby Maud looks like a bean.

I agree with you okay? If she was just some stranger I would be furious, but she’s my friend. And it’s her choice.

What are people going to think of me if Chris goes out with Liberty next?

You can’t buy forgiveness Rick.

You gave me a social disease.

I’m trying to kill Chris with my mind.

That is the first guy I’ve liked since Hurricane Sean blew through my emotional trailer park.

Manny, it’s hard to watch you sometimes. You have everything going for you and you just keep screwing it up, pretty spectacularly.

I’d tell you two to get a room but you have a room which also happens to be my room.

So you stick your tongue down the principal’s throat by accident!?

Okay, I think removing you from public is a good idea for us all.

Your body is a reflection of you. The agent is going to see that you’re undisciplined.

Forgiveness isn’t Manny’s forte. Believe me, she’s like the five time winner of the golden grudge.

Manny, save the drama for your next audition, we’re not interested.

You all are so perfect. You take advantage of drunk girls. You are the drunk girl. And last I checked, you were making out with his mother!

I love fun. I’m all about fun. In fact, if fun were people I’d be China.

A little drama keeps life interesting.

Stick to acting Manny, because you’re a lousy weather girl.

Nothing about you is good and don’t talk to me.

Old times are over rated.

There is nothing wrong with having a boyfriend who thinks you’re amazing.

I’ll tell you what I’ve learned. If you want the guy, you take the flaws. See Cameron, Sean.

True love is worth fighting for.

Thursday, September 9, 2010

The Real Housewives of New Jersey

Dina: She certainly didn't look like she just pushed out a watermelon out of her chuckarella.

Teresa: We need to get you a bling-bling pacifier.

Teresa: At the last minute I was packing my makeup case and jewelry. You know, last minute things if you're going to go to the hospital.

Sons of Anarchy: Season 1

Jackson 'Jax' Teller: The true outlaw finds the balance between the passion in his heart and the reason in his mind. The solution is always an equal mix of might and right.

John Teller: First time I read Emma Goldman wasn't in a book. I was sixteen, hiking near the Nevada border . The quote was painted on a wall in red. When I saw those words it was like someone ripped them from the inside of my head.
Jackson 'Jax' Teller: Anarchism... stands for liberation of the human mind from the dominion of religion; the liberation of the human body from the dominion of property; liberation from shackles and restraint of government. It stands for social order based on the free grouping of individuals.
John Teller: The concept was pure, simple, true, it inspired me, led a rebellious fire, but ultimately I learned the lesson that Goldman, Prudot and the others learned. That true freedom requires sacrifice and pain. Most human beings only think they want freedom. In truth they yearn for the bondage of social order, rigid laws, materialism, the only freedom man really wants, is the freedom to become comfortable.

Jackson 'Jax' Teller: I love that guy more than anyone, but I also see what's happening to him, and it scares the shit outta me. Opie can't be half in, half out, it'll get him killed Donna.
Donna Lerner: Than I want him out, that other guy got out, Kyle.
Jackson 'Jax' Teller: Kyle was kicked out, you know why? Cause the night Opie got arrested for blowing up that truck yard, Kyle was supposed to be his get away ride. Only the asshole panicked when he heard sirens, left Opie behind.
Donna Lerner: Opie never said anything?
Jackson 'Jax' Teller: Cause Opie's not rat. Brothers don't turn on each other. He did the time, it's what we do. Opie will never walk away from the club, we both know that, he's like me it's all we know. It's in our DNA, and if you keep pulling him in the other direction... we're not the glue Donna, you are.

Opie: I wanted the guy to be a miserable, broken piece of shit without SAMCRO. Tell you, I'm havin' a hard time though. You know this club means everything to me, the only thing I ever wanted from the time I went here. But everything else, Donna... the kids, work, their all heading in the opposite direction, just can't hook shit up. Feel like I'm missin' on every front.
Jackson 'Jax' Teller: I got no answers, my family plan is right out of the Sid and Nancy handbook. I'm so used to shit movin' in the other direction. I don't know what I'd do if something actually hooked up.

Chuck: CMD, Compulsive Masturbation Disorder. I couldn't get the right meds in Stockton, so it's a little outta control right now.
Piermont 'Piney' Winston: You know, I used to have that, than I turned 13.

Clarence 'Clay' Morrow: Hey you all better be at that fundraiser tomorrow, unless you want a size 9 high heel boot up your ass?
Bobby: You comin?
Clarence 'Clay' Morrow: I'd rather have my balls cut off... what, too soon for that joke?

Gemma Teller Morrow: Oakdale Assisted living, seniors are all compulsive gamblers, triples our raffle dollars, god bless social security.

Clarence 'Clay' Morrow: What did you do?
Gemma Teller Morrow: Same thing you did, nailed some little tart from Nevada.
Clarence 'Clay' Morrow: All the shit I got coming outta my ears and you go and do this.
Gemma Teller Morrow: You should have thought of that before your dick went on a cheerleader hunt.
Clarence 'Clay' Morrow: I didn't ask her to come here.
Gemma Teller Morrow: But she's here.
Clarence 'Clay' Morrow: Well that's not my fault.
Gemma Teller Morrow: And it's not my pussy.

Jackson 'Jax' Teller: [after Tig has pulled down his pants and shown two female doctors the dog bite on his butt] Distract 'em, I said distract 'em, not scar 'em for life!
Tig: No shit, man, I'm serious, I think it's infected.

Tig: Go on, get out of here, before I rape both of you.
Bobby: Hey!
Tig: C'mon, it's just an expression. Term of endearment.

Tig: This is why I beat hookers.

Tig: And we blame the angry black man.
Clarence 'Clay' Morrow: It's the American way.

Clarence 'Clay' Morrow: Only two things feel good in the joint: that's jerking off and thinking about all the shit you're going to do when you get out.

Jax Teller: Your life is a series of hit and runs. The minute someone makes you feel uncomfortable, test your loyalty, Little Tara packs her bags and hits the road. I guess you call it what you want from me but you used me to do your dirty work.

Sons of Anarchy: Season 2

Clay: Nobody threatens Sam Crow... brown, black... or white... Now why don't you all pile back into your clown car, and head on back to Nazi-town...

Gemma: You think... you think God forgives you for doing bad things? I-- I mean like really... bad shit.
Father Francis: God forgives absolutely. We're the ones who usually can't.

Gemma: Love don't mean shit. Men need to own their pussy. His has been violated. He'll find another. It's what they do.

Tara: You keep saying you want to change things, but you keep repeating old behavior. You can't have it both ways.

Jax: Is there anything you love so much, you'd protect it, no matter the cost; the damage it did to you?
Tara: Yeah. Yeah, a child.
Jax: Yeah. That's how I feel about this club. Since I was five Tara, all I've ever wanted was a Harley and cut. Change won't happen quick, or without blood, but it'll happen. It has to.

Half-Sack: It's a little bit painful when I ride. Sometimes I feel it when I walk. Other than that, back to normal.
Tig: Is it gay that I want to see it?
Bobby: Gay curious.
Tig: Come on, drop 'em.

Clay: Sam Crow deals guns. You had your little romp as porn king. You tied us to prostitution. You got one of our member's old lady killed.
Jax: You are really gonna stand there and lay the guilt of a dead wife on me?

Hale: I know the greater devil when I see it. Zobelle is flooding this town with Darby's crank and pussy. And he wants me to shut it down to prove to Charming they don't need the Sons.

Gemma [to Jax]: I loved your dad. More than... more than I've loved any man. Great lay. Smart. Big heart. And very complicated. Sound familiar? His complications killed him.