We can't control the future, so what do we do? We can do what my stepmother does and take lots of painkillers to numb ourselves from the reality that life is, well, random, unfair, and ultimately meaningless. Or we can accept the fact that we can't worry about what we can't control and enjoy the time we have.
Your comic has turned these two idiots into idiots.
Where other than the Bait Shop are tickets always plentiful and the band never too loud to talk over?
You've got to admit, Coop. Whatever happens, Ryan facing off with Trey to avenge your honor - God, that is so freaking hot! In a mythic, biblical, Samurai Western kind of way.
No, see Zach and I? We're just hanging out. He is not my boyfriend. I do not want a boyfriend, okay. I had a boyfriend, he sailed away.
You just gotta get right back on that horse, Coop. You gotta giddy up, horsy!
Not only will I not go to prom with you, but if you and I were stranded on a deserted island I would take the nourishment that your meager frame has to offer, and then I would feed your bones to the sharks.
A guy like Cohen is physically incapable of walking away from a girl like me.
Look, I love you this much, and I wanna be with you now, and next year, and whatever comes after that. So I'm asking, in the presence of this coffee cart and the sacred moment that it represents, if you can honestly tell me that you don't love me anymore.
Volchok is Atwood's kryptonite. He'll totally Hulk out!
We're trying to figure out a way to break up my dad and some skank-out-hoebag.
You told her he has genital warts!
I'm picturing, like, Indecent Proposal. You're Demi, naturally, and Taylor is a leather faced guy who talks to horses.
I'm sorry, I don't get references before 1990
My dream involved a date. A hot guy in a tux with a carnation pinned to his lapel. Instead, I'm drawing straws between nerd boy and ass clown.
Nobody messes with my men but me! It is ass-kicking time Coop!
Well, you guys can all give up. But I still believe in a Chrismukkah miracle ... And I have a
I'm informing myself, Coop. It's impossible, there is so much news. You know, the worst part is, it is constantly changing. If everything could just stop for, like, one day, maybe I could catch up.
I feel like my flesh is melting. I just hope it melts evenly.
Well my therapist said the best thing I can do to move on in my life is to divest myself of Seth's material possessions. I've got to dump off a bunch of his crap.
Holy Mack! You are like, such an adult. I mean, you're not insecure. You're not jealous... Are you a robot?
The name is Cohen. C-O-H-E-N. I think that's how you spell it.
How can you live like this? Your T-shirts are touching your sweaters!
Thank god I had my camera phone! They are autographs of the 21st Century!
Nothing. I wasn't talking to you. And if you tell anyone what you heard here, I'll kill you.
God, he loves you. He got into a fight and burned down a house over you. That's hot.
Still hasn't called you back, huh? Well, he was in lockup. Maybe he's into dudes now.
Okay, listen skank. Just because you're saying really mean things in like a really nice voice doesn't mean that we don't realize that you're just a stupid little skank.
Where's your cutout? Or have they not made super bitch yet.
You can't turn off the stars.
I love shopping, tanning and celebrity gossip. Always have, always will.
Eff that, he wants a game of chicken he's gonna get it! I'm going bridezilla on his ass !
The only thing that would make me feel better is seeing that assless, gutless wuss skinned and flayed and served as assless, gutless wuss tartar.
You will not believe this, but it turns out I am totally smart.
What am I thinking? Kids at Brown don’t wear sparkly scarves. Maybe on the way to the airport, I’ll stop and get some sort of angry piercing.
I think it's great. Finding the right person and then deciding to be with them no matter what. That's what life's about, right?
Not only will I not go to prom with you, but if you and I were stranded on a deserted island I would take the nourishment that your meager frame has to offer, and then I would feed your bones to the sharks.
How come all these women around you keep getting their thongs stuck? I’m starting to get suspicious.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment