Everwood: Dr. Andrew Brown

I can't save your life. At best, I could prolong it eight months. Maybe a year. But for most of that time, you'd be barely coherent, recovering from surgery. But that's all so this hospital can brag about its statistics for terminal illnesses. But those statistics don't measure quality of life. And if you have the slightest hope about preserving of your own, you'd get up out of that bed and leave this place as fast as your legs will carry you.

Why put off tomorrow when you can diagnose today?

I wanted to see you. To know that you're more than just a memory. And to tell you that I kept my promise. You didn't keep yours. You promised me you'd be here... in Everwood. But, you're not.

Ephram, I wish I could tell you everything's gonna be OK. I know that's what I'm supposed to say. But the truth is, I don't know what's gonna happen to us. But what I do know is that all we have now is each other. I need your help raising your sister. I can't do it alone. She gets us.

I'll tell you what. I'll stay away from recipes that involve three or more ingredients if you stay away from first aid kits.

Everwood's enough of an escape for me.

I was once a happy sack of hormones myself.

If biology allows a man to become a father until the day he dies, why should a woman have to give up that dream at the age of forty-five?

Well, who's to say what's natural? All species adapt. Female dogs have been known to nurse baby kittens. Is that natural?

No, no. I admit. When I first saw the mother of the child, I thought she was too old to become a parent for the first time. But, today I learned from Nina just how badly that woman wants a family. And I don't think the qualifications for parenthood should have anything to do with age. What's so unnatural about wanting a family? To me, what's unnatural is not wanting one! And, let's not forget about Nina. If she can use this money to keep her husband home a few more weeks a year... then she hasn't just helped to create a family, she's helped to save her own.

Ah, DAMN IT! Oh, looks like you got the last laugh, Walter. There's no sea, there's no breeze. There's more wood in my hand than your friggin boat. Remind me next time to take the steaks. Oh no. Oh no, no, no, no. I hope you're watching this, Julia. You'll be getting a big kick out of this! 'Cause this is for you, sweetheart! That's right, Mrs. Brown. Your whole family left a civilized life in a civilized city for some godforsaken mountain town 'cause your train stopped here in 1964 and you fell in love with some purple mountains and some fluffy clouds! But you didn't know this town, Julia! You didn't meet the people! 'Cause you didn't get past the gift shop! I MOVED US TO A SNOW GLOBE!!! Oh God. WHAT AM I DOING HERE?!?!?

Is there anybody in this community who is not related to one another?

...what I mean to say is that one in ten kids will have sex before the age of 13. One in four of those kids will get a sexually transmitted disease. Like it or not, our children are having sex. Now, we can either teach them how to be safe about it so they don't die or we can stay in our cocoons, wax poetic about the good old days and pretend it isn't happening.

Because you're scaring the sick people away and we don't charge.

Well, I think that's your first step. Oh, I hate to dispense advice and run, Edna, but I'm late for school. So hand me some condoms and wish me luck.

Don't forget: when you go over the symptoms of gonorrhea, talk slowly. Odds are there's at least one kid in your assembly who has it.

Well, you know, honey, boys and girls are very different. Not just how they look on the outside, but how they work things out on the inside. For instance, when you wanna be friends with a boy, you might wanna bake him cookies.

Right. OK... but if a boy wants to be friends with you, he might punch you. As a sign of friendship.

You think I should call the police? Or, or do you think that's crazy? It's too soon to call the police, don't you think? How could he get lost? And why wasn't he at school? Did he get lost on his way to school?

DR. BROWN: I'm not about to let my 15 year old, who doesn't know a pine tree from a baked potato, go exploring the tundra alone. If you wanna go, you'd better pack enough trail mix for two!

You know why? Giardia lamblia. A protozoan come water-borne cyst with a nasty knack for twisting up the ileum duodena. I also know that young Bambi, here, has four stomachs; rumen, reticulum, omasum and abomasum. You know, I always wanted there to be a fifth called aboabomasum, but there wasn't. Also, deer can run over 35 miles an hour...

I used to navigate peoples frontal lobes for a living, Ephram. I think I can follow directions.

She's a wild animal. She's thinking 'hi. Are you made of food?'. Come on, keep up. We're making good time.

Your mom used to be the only one who could call me on it. It used to help me keep people alive. Taking charge, knowing the right thing to say all the time. It's an instinct that I cultivated for surgery that made me capable of doing things so fantastic, I can't even take credit for 'em. That same compulsion that people nurtured in me then, is what's making me... making me screw everything up now. For you, for Delia. These past few months I feel like, the only thing I've done right, is help a few strangers get better and... stop talking out loud to my dead wife.

Mmm. That reminds me of something your mom used to say. She said that coincidence was just God's way of preserving physics.

What is that thing? Blood van? Ice cream truck? Book mobile?

As Dr. Latham and the Denver team have told you, the causes of short term coma are generally discrete and identifiable, while the causes of prolonged coma can often be idiopathic... of unknown origin. In Colin's case, the neuro team has carefully monitored his intracranial pressure, and provided what I think is well above the standard of care. You can be confident, that up to this point, you've done everything possible for your son. And... There is what we believe to be a small fragment of bone lodged in Colin's brain. More specifically in the brain stem where it would be extremely difficult to remove. Dr. Latham doesn't believe that the relationship between this fragment and your son's prolonged comatose state is causable.

Actually, no. The brain stem handles the most elemental tasks that the brain performs. Were we to undertake this surgery successfully, it would be medically reportable. Well, it would be an experiment of sorts. By that, I mean that experimentation occurs all of the time in medicine. It's how innovation takes place, it's how lives are saved. I want you to know I don't undertake this lightly. I've performed over 200 procedures a year in the last fifteen years and if I'm not mistaken, I have one of the highest success rates in the country.

The meatloaf is very versatile is what I was gonna say.

Andy Brown. Pleased to meet you. You know, Delia was telling me an amusing story on the way over here. She said that she and your son were playing the other day, and, ah, this is hard for me to believe 'cause Delia has been a tomboy ever since she was in the womb. But the, well, they were playing dress up. Well, I can assure you that, as a physician, that at this age, that kind of play is perfectly alright. All the same, if it bothers you, you don't have to worry 'cause it won't happen again.

That didn't sound very enthusiastic. Friend's still not talking to ya, huh? Kid's got a lot of willpower for a third grader.

Do you believe this? Those parents yank their kid out of school for playing dress up? I mean that's, that's medieval! Alright Delia, here's what we're gonna do, we are going over there right now.

Stuart won't be able to put it behind him. Maybe that's not such a bad thing. These kids grow up to be very special people. They've got a lifetime of empathy inside of them by the time they turn 10 and, that's a tremendous gift. But you cannot put him in a box and try...

I had a medical consultation last week. Parents wouldn't consent. They wouldn't put their faith in me.

I wasn't thinking about me or my abilities, I was thinking about these people. Someone's parents, someone's son. This kid is the boyfriend of a girl that my kid goes to school with. I was thinking that if something goes wrong, if we can't bring him out... I was thinking about the outcome. You never think about the outcome. I just lied to you. The truth is, in the end, it was me. I told them I wouldn't do it.

Well, doctors don't have all the answers, Ephram.

No. Sometimes parents have the answers too.

Ephram would hate me in every one of the forty-eight contiguous states plus Hawaii and Alaska so we might as well be here.

These are the mix tapes that your mom made for our surgeries. She'd figure out what song to pick based on what kind of surgery we were doing. For instance, Glioma '97 has an upbeat Motown kind of a feel whereas triple aneurysm '99 is more of an angry lesbian with a guitar kind of mix. And here's my personal favorite: Middle Fossa skull base 2000!

Ah, competitiveness springs eternal.

I'm surprised this place isn't falling down right now. [gathering his thoughts] Just over eight months ago, that was the last time I knew life was worth living. All my dreams died with Julia. I wake up every morning and wish I was still asleep. See, the thing is I... my heart's still pumping and I'm still breathing. I still move in the world but, I've lost my joy. We don't talk a lot. I don't complain to you. I don't ask for favors. I don't whine about fairness. And I never believed that you owed me anything. But I am telling you right now, I have got nothing left. I used to have a gift. Now everything I touch, everyone I touch I-is just as broken as I am. I've got two kids, who need a mother and a father. These days, I'm not much use to anyone. Let alone them. I thought I knew what you needed from me. I thought I knew what my life was about. I don't know anything. [crying] You've gotta help me? Please give me my joy back?