Everwood: Minor Characters

MR. GREELEY: Stay out of this, Doctor "I can't diagnose you without an appointment."

MRS. DUDLEY: I heard about what happened yesterday. And I wanted to tell you that my family, well, like a lot of other families around here, we don't have much. But, now we have a doctor. I know it was a tragedy that brought you here sir, for that I am truly sorry. But, I'm not sorry you came.

WENDELL: You could always get calf implants. There's a doctor down in Denver who, evidently, works miracles on men with chicken legs.

WENDELL: If you want to get your picture up in her locker, you're going about it all wrong, dude. The whole school knows that Amy worships at the shrine of coma boy every weekend. If you want to break her of the habit, you're gonna need help.

WENDELL: I provide a service. One you might find infinitely beneficial in your doomed albeit noble romantic pursuits.

WALTER: You? No. Edna, yes. We went steady in the fifth grade. She introduced me to hickies and shoplifting.

WALTER: It's a little slice of heaven.

MAGILLA: What did you call me? Say it again and I'll fry your face in fat.

MARTHA: If God wanted fifty-five year old women to have babies, he would've given us lifetime warranties on our "you know what's".

PATRON: That's gotta be a New York City dog. Out here, a dog knows he's a dog.

WENDELL: It's probably not that exciting anyway. It looks exciting because of all the wild gesticulating and massive hair flippage that's going on? You'd think they were solving the world's energy crisis, or better yet... revealing their secret crushes. That's what they want us to think. My guess is, they're debating which lip gloss has the best flavor.

KAYLA: OK, whatever. The point is, is that he's not gonna fit at my party, is he? And then I'm gonna feel all lame like I'm having a loser party because Eddie Munster isn't having any fun. And it's my birthday. I shouldn't have to worry that other people aren't having any fun. Except, you know, us.

PAGE: So if you don't 'like him' like him, then he won't care if we un-invite him.

PAGE: Would we ever do something mean to someone's face?

PAGE: Here's the thing. We totally want you to come to Kayla's party, but...
KAYLA: Yeah, but my mom said I could only invite tall people.

JOE: You're not supposed to fall through a bridge.

WENDELL: See, the Fall Dance is special in that it's one of the dances where the girls ask the boys and the way they ask, it's sort of a tradition around here. Once the girls have chosen an item, they tie a ribbon around it, sign their names to it, and place it on your locker as a way of formally inviting you. Check your lock.

MAGILLA: It's like Santa. They just tell kids about God to get them to go to bed on time or stop picking their scabs.

ARNIE: My dad said you can't prove there's a God. You just have to have faith.

MISS VIOLET: Way back in something-something before Christ, who your people don't believe in anyway, the Hebrews were chased out of their land... again. But when they got back, there was only enough oil to light their lamp for one day. They said 'to the heck with it' and used it all up. But it turned out the oil that was only enough for one day, lasted eight whole days. Now if you don't mind, those pine bells aren't gonna glitter themselves.

DAVENPORT: Doc. You of all people should understand. It was your idea to take my obsessive compulsive disorder and turn it into something useful. Now, thanks to you and the Pinecone, I'm a productive member of Everwood society for fifteen years. Practically saved my life.

DAVENPORT: You see that gear? That's me. I'm the gear that has to spin. And neither the serotonin reuptake inhibitors, nor the man that prescribes them, can stop that. Everyone has something they have to do. I have to put out a paper, you need your article tomorrow.

ROTH: Yes Sir! There are three essential proofs for the existence of an omnipotent benevolent deity, Sir! The primary is that the monotheist cosmological proof in which the Aristotelian causal argument is applied. This is seconded in the madrastic law, in the story of the patriarch, Abraham, gazing at the stars. He equates the night sky to a sumptuous castle found in a field. Taking in its intricacies, one must assume the castle had a builder...

LOUISE: Then, I'd appreciate it if you'd say "could you please have the folders redone by Friday, Louise?" And further more, I was not hired to make coffee. So... if I choose to do so, it will be on a case by case, personal favor basis. Is that understood?

LOUISE: You're the one who told me my lack of assertiveness was limiting my career potential.

WOMAN: I'm a person and I'm important.

DR. TROTT: Welcome to the human race, Dr. Brown.

BRIAN: Ahh, gentlemen, and lady, worship me! For I have brought unto you, New York City!

BRIAN: He wants to be you. Hell, I wouldn't mind being you. Minus the beard.

BRIAN: Like, there's any order of difficulty in the miracles you've performed?

BRIAN: Before you took me under your wing, Andy, I never believed there were people put on this earth simply to fix God's mistakes. That's the sort of gift that doesn't goes away. Sleep easy, Dr. Brown. You're going to be great.

BRIAN: I still got time for a tickle-sectomy!

KAYLA: Because I wear deodorant, unlike some people.

SALLY: Oh, it's not the waiting. It's just that I don't think my husband's allergic to anything that's on your desk. He's allergic to me. He doesn't like all the changes I've made to myself over the last few months so he's decided to go get warts.

REV. KEYES: There's my little ego booster. Glad I'm over here getting pricked to death just so I can kiss you again.

TODD: This is Colin Hart's nurse. I just wanted to call and let you know your boyfriend's doing really well. He's sitting up right now singing the greatest hits of N'Sync.

SALLY: I suppose it must look that way to you. But, it feels like the decision was taken out of our hands. Somewhere down the line Tom and I grew apart. We started wanting different things and we can't go back even if we wanted to. Sometimes we wish we could. 'Cause to tell you the truth, I'm scared out of my mind right now. I'll see you around, Doctor.

REV. KEYES: The gift of community is that each one of us is absolved of the burden of completeness. And in of ourselves that every moment we can lean on one another for the elements we lack. This week I leaned on one of you for this week I lost my marriage. When you join your life with someone, you plan your future. Isn't that truly the definition of hope? To look into the future and imagine a better moment. A glimmer of beauty to strive for. This week I lost all that. At the moment when I was without reason, when I no longer could find meaning of my own, I came here to this church. I believed as I have at other moments of need that I would find God here. I did not. What I found inside this church was a man more dispirited than myself. Crying out to our Lord and seeking comfort in receiving none. I say to this man today, I cannot fix your broken heart. I cannot mend your weakened spirit. What I can do is pour the love of this community into your wound. As your own faith was a healing sieve unto my own. Each year, I select a member of this community who represents the value of hope. This year, I would like to single out a man who is most deserving of our own. Of this community's light and life. That man is Dr. Andrew Brown. There are two states in this life. Love and a call for love. It is the latter which is most requiring of bravery. Come together as a community and help this courageous man find what he came here to seek... peace, joy, hope... for us all.