Instant Star: Season Three

Jude: [voiceover] Playing guest star on the show that made you is a surreal mixture of pride and nerves. Pride because you were the original. Nerves because you have to listen to a bunch of strangers reinterpret your music. From emo to punk to Sinatra. Still it's kinda moving to see how my music has inspired others. Inspired them to be me. Maybe even to replace me. There are those nerves again, ones that never really go away.

Jude: So does the big hair hide the devil horns?

Porsia: Okay, Outrageous Rockstars 101. Stolen limos. Putting an octopus in the hotel pool. One time, he did a strip tease outside the Juno's. And I married the guy.

Jude: What's so scary about the real me?
Patsy: More importantly, what's the real you so scared of?

Patsy: You're quivering like a pornstar in church, Jude.

Patsy: I face my fears head on.

Jude: I always end up the freakin' sucker.
Jamie: No, you end up the victim. Jude, who's fault is that? Really?

Jamie: I love you. Maybe it's time to grow up.

Jude: [voiceover] There are three types of people in the world: suckers, victims, and grown-ups. Being a grown-up means you get to choose your own destiny.

Jude: [voiceover] Kurt Cobain once said that punk rock is freedom and the worst crime is faking it. Which is why I posted some not so perfect pictures on my website. So my fans can see the real me. I think it's about time I channeled my inner Sid Viscous. Hello Jude, Rock Goddess. Good-bye Dignity.

Jude: Well nothing says becoming a man like sweet vengeance.

Jude: You're very intense for a thirteen year-old.

Sadie: You had me at 'hormonal'.

Jude: But maybe it's good for my fans to see that I'm not perfect. I'm seventeen. I make mistakes.

Karma: When I look at those photos, I see a talented musician who's not afraid to be real and a tough act to follow. Of course, Jude and I are so different. She's into heavy rifts and punk influences, where I've got a soft spot for power ballads. And I'm a virgin.

Jude: We may not be sinking to her level but we're not kissing her ass either.

Jude: That's because you never change, but I have.

Patsy: I love infiltrating suburbia and scaring the normals but why now?

Patsy: So we are here to collect his cajones.
Jude: We are here to explain to the man that it's not cool to judge women on their sexuality and then we leave.

Mr. Harrison: I mean they never ask Bob Dylan about his sex life.
Jude: Well I sure hope not, the guys like 60.

Patsy: Yeah, I got a pack of smokes and a pat on the butt from my great uncle Sid for my Butt mitzvah.

Karma: My first song is dedicated to my friend Jude Harrison who couldn't be here because of her problem with promiscuity and the bottle.

Patsy: Girl drinks. These rich kids always have the best alcohol. Savages, even their cocktails are virgins.

Patsy: Shouldn't those outfits be in Vegas mounting a mobster.

Kwest: I've got three sisters. I can coordinate blush and lipstick too.

Karma: Seriously, I will cut you.

Jude: Oh that's not virgin talk. Don't worry I got this.

Kwest: You mean the Tommy Code. Where you get what you want or what don't want.

Tommy: I don't want Sadie but she doesn't want you either.

Tommy: Add it up. You're a producer now. And she's an industry groupie.

Sadie: Now you fight for me.

Karma: Everyone else still thinks you're a whore.

Patsy: Dude, you're boob's out.

Jude: I suck and you're the best.

Jude: [voiceover] Ever enter a room and get the feeling that everyone had just been talking about you? Or at least, part of you. Still, when the right person says they have your back, it can drown out the cheers of an entire crowd. And with that, my bad day just got interesting.

Tommy: Besides you're talking to the guy who woke up in the dead center of strawberry fields in Memorial Central Park surrounded by camera clicking tourists, butt naked.

Spiederman: I'm Jude. Oh, look at my bounceful bosom.

Jude: Hold onto your clothes because she likes to rip them off.

Wally: An entire website devoted to Jude's boob and it doesn't even have the money shot.
Spiederman: Try bazongas or the Pointer Sisters.

Jude: I need help with lyrics.
Wally: How about..."Life's a test."
Spied: "But you always do your best."
Kyle: "Exposing your right breast."

Patsy: Is that French for 'remove my pants'?

Karma: Probably in the little boys' room, hiding from you Stalkerina.

Patsy: You're God among men.

Tommy: I handled you.
Jude: I don't need to be handled, thanks.
Tommy: Right because you are so unpossessive and low-maintenance.
Jude: Please. This coming from a guy who calls in sick on bad hair days.
Tommy: Fine, you want the truth. Here it is. I had to beg for this gig. I wanted to try something new. Grow a little, but I guess you are the only one around here that gets to do that.

Jude: You want me to write a song about my boob?

Jude: You want a career? You'll need Tommy producing you.

Jude: You agree to take Tommy back and I'll put you back in the spotlight so fast you'll get a sunburn.

Jude: Friends do friends favors.

Jude: What's the problem, Princess Publicity? You might even get a shot.

Jamie: I would never make you do something that wasn't good for you. Trust me. I love you.

Jude: Can you like wave your arms in the air or something when you're lying?

Tommy: You're a big girl Jude. You don't need rescuing. And neither do I.

Patsy: I'm celebrating. This bird's flying solo like she's meant to.

Jude: Just for the record, I am not high-maintenance, thank you.

Jude: [voiceover] Funny thing about the boy next door, he knows all about the influence of blues on 70s glam rock, and which drummer should be knighted. And nothing to deal with a girl like Patsy. Then again, who could manage Patsy Sewer?

Jude: Patsy needs freedom in the studio, and in a relationship I'm guessing.

Jude: Oh whatever, I remember when you pledge eternal devotion to Cyndi Lauper.

Jamie: I love you as one loves their scary boss.

Patsy: We do it Patsy Sewer style. A. No fluorescent lights. B. No heinous back beats. C. No pants on the man-folk.

Stuart: Patsy should not be on the road or in my liquor cabinet.

Jude: Patsy Sewer doesn't need saving, she needs a friend.

Patsy: Don't talk to me like I'm your pretty pony. There's only one thing you're riding and she's out there answering phones.

Patsy: Well there's one thing you should know about Patsy Sewer. She doesn't run out of shot... of vodka.

Patsy: Oh, sorry. All wiener openings are filled.

Patsy: I got him a crib with a view. I here by dub you Leonard Cohen the Second. C'mon they could be brothers. Me, you, Leonard. Free at last.

Patsy: It's awwwwesome being the person everyone trusts.

Jude: I would have figured you emerged from the womb fully grown and tongue pierced.

Jude: Can you poison this beach with your attitude?

Patsy: So that's it. Love or war? I pick war.

Patsy: Freeeedom. Better than sex.

Patsy: You are so squeaky clean. It's like hanging out with bleach.

Patsy: Why don't you stop trying to save me and work on fixing your own crappy music?

Porsia: You should stop trying to covet things that Tommy owns. Like Sadie's heart.

Jude: She really is a shooting star. Unpredictable, but beautiful.

Jude: [voiceover] Two. Just two. Two words. That's all I'm asking. Two words. That's all I need. "Patsy's fine." Or "She's Okay." Two words. Two...words.

Tommy: Patsy was fearless. Fearless. And funny, and witty, and totally out of control.

Kwest: I don't need a book on how to feel sad.

Iggy: First time I met Patsy, we scaled some rich dude's fence and swam in his pool but naked.
Kyle: First time I met Patsy, she shaved my eyebrows.
Jude: First time I met Patsy, I was arrested.
Spiederman: She used to sneak into the back door of the bakery, steal a few loaves then go down Queens Street, and hand them out to homeless kids.

Jude: We've got to fight for her because she's not here to fight for herself.
Tommy: Patsy gave up the fight when she got behind the wheel stone drunk.
Jude: Wow. You just make Darius look like Mother Teresa.

Karma: Ugh you're that girl? The fixer. Always taking care of everyone to feel useful. Want my advice. Give the boy some space. Guys don't like to let people see their emotions. It makes them feel weak.

Spiederman: Jude, he just broke up with his girlfriend who then died. Talk about intense. That's like breaking up times a million for eternity.

Spiederman: Now have to worry about Patsy's ghost coming around giving us supernatural wedgies.

Jude: [voiceover] Eighteen is big. By the time he was eighteen Mozart had already toured Europe, written his first opera and composed symphony no. 1. By 18, Stevie Wonder had mastered 18 instruments, had four hits and was composing for Motown. As for my 18th birthday, I just want everything to go right.

Tommy: I understand you want to protect your daughter. If I had a daughter I'd never let her date me.

Tommy: The only thing feeling worst than you can't move on, is the moment you realize that you can.

Pagan: I always thought one's music collection is like an autobiography you didn't write.

Sadie: I know he's never going to wake up and say it was me all along. And I know I have to get over him. And I know it's bad to use Kwest to do that, but maybe that's what I gotta do. So save the intervention, please.

Hunter: Revenge is the best revenge.

Hunter: Bingo. Blond, beautiful, and insecure. Just the way you like them.

Jamie: Lately my life's been cloudy with a chance of lame.

Stuart: People say love's complicated. But it's not. Be good to your partner, fight for him, not with him, and above all, be honest.

Jude: [voiceover] The best presents are often secret gifts you give yourself. Special things you've always wanted. So for my 18th birthday, I went all out. I decided to tell the world how I feel about Tommy Quincy. Nothing says 'I love you' like unwrapping your feelings to the world. And nothing says he doesn't like a huge dose of public humiliation.

Kwest: Then do me a favor and just stop talking. Matter of fact, let's not talk until you figure out what you want, or who.

Karma: I told you, the public can't think I have a boyfriend. Nerds, geeks, dorks, they all have to think I'm attainable.

Spiederman: Yeah they also have to believe you're not a self-involved diva.

Jamie: I think my break-through is about to become a full-blown panic attack.

Pagan: Taking stuff out on other people is like the third stage of grief.

Jamie: I don't think there's a Hallmark card that says, "I'm sorry, I blamed you for my girlfriend's death."

Jamie: She's fun, she's compassionate, but doesn't let me get away with anything, from music snobbery to pleated pants. She's willing to try anything once, twice if it scared her the first time. She loves music so much, she cried when she sees an old album in the dollar bin at the gas station. She's just... amazing.

Tommy: That's my M.O. I hurt people, especially the ones I care about. I don't deserve them.

Tommy: Leaving is the one thing I do best.

Jude: Secret relationships, they're not healthy. Trust me.

Pagan: First drafts are pure, and I like trees.

Tommy: Why is it that all the nice ones always fall for me?

Sadie: I guess we think we can fix you. You know, find the heart under all that bad boy.

Kwest: You don't have to say it if you don't feel it and I want you to tell me the truth even if it stinks.

Jude: Sometimes things just happen.

Jude: [voiceover] Some days you feel like singing from the rooftops and other days all you want to do is scream. But today, all I want is maximum R & R. Maybe make a little music while I'm at it.

Jude: Look at me, I look like a dog's breakfast with post-eggs fries.

Karma: Wow, Quincy really shorted out your circuits.

Darius: It's all about Jude Harrison. Ain't no comparison. You try to play her out but no, she's still smashing 'em. Yeah, we top billin' 'em. We still winnin'. G Major is the label and yeah, we still killin'.

Porsia: Sometimes you've got to do what's right for you and take control.

Karma: Guilt is for the little people.

Jude: Despite what you saw back there, Tommy Quincy changed my life. When I met him I was just a kid who won a talent contest, and he help open my soul and let the real music come out. And even though we might not be working together anymore, no one will ever replace him.

Jude: [voiceover] Broken-hearted, me? Please, Broken heart does not go with these boots. Okay, sometimes it's not as easy as it looks. Sometimes you've got to fake it until you make it. After all, they say living well is the best revenge. And looking hot in front of your ex-boyfriend works pretty well, too. Looking like I slaughtered a baby seal, beyond horrific.

Pagan: You're a musician. Some people want you to be an example, others want to make an example of you.

Pagan: What you need to ask yourself is, do I want to be a musician or a legend?

Pagan: A legend takes a stand even if it's unpopular. Speak up or speak out.

Pagan: I've always found it hard to make a statement if you're not saying a word.

Sadie: I'd rather die alone than get help from you.

Jude: Wearing fur and eating meat it's all so neanderthal, don't ya think? Or barbaric.

Kyle: Eating meat is barbaric?
Spiederman: You just insulted the one thing we all believe in.
Wally: And insulted another animal. The neanderthal.

Sadie: You have the cattle ward on your back. And the anti-fur people want your hide.

Tommy: Rats swim.He could turn up in all this chaos and it could be really have to tell.

Darius: You've done all you can do. I know you love being tortured by your past. It's time to let it go, man.

Jude: I'm not that type of famous person. There's a reason why I still live at home. I need to be connected to the people who love me, including my fans.

Karma: When I see something I want, I go after it. You should try it sometime.

Hunter: Do you know what it feels like when a woman you love suffers?

Jude: [voiceover] Tragedy has a way of changing people. Tragedy can make people depressed, angry, or wanna make amends. But there's a flip side to trauma, it can change your perspective. Make you realize what's really important and make you realize what you really want, or who.

Kwest: Do you think I would let your weak left hook ruin a seven year friendship?

Tommy: I'm just happy I didn't destroy your feminine jaw line.

Sadie: You have to close a door before you can open a new one.

Jude: I don't know why it is you do what you do Tommy Quincy, but I forgive you.

Jude: [voiceover] Making choices has never been my strong suit. Only because I'm too terrified to pick. It's the always that worries me. Only thing worse than not being able to make a decision, is having the big ones made for you.

Pagan: I've always believed that music is owned by the people who love it.

Pagan: If you give the music out for free...
Jude: It's useless to those who want to exploit it.

Tommy: I want all of you with me forever. I don't care if you're herding goats, waiting tables, or making music. I just want you to be happy.

Tommy: I would do anything for you, because I love you.

Sadie: You choose what's in your heart, and you know who that is.