Grey's Anatomy: Lexie Grey

No. I forgive you. I forgive you for treating me like crap, and I forgive you for letting your friend treat me like crap.

Hydrogen, helium, lithium, beryllium, boron, carbon, nitrogen, oxygen, fluorine, neon, sodium, magnesium, aluminum, silicon, phosphorus, sulfur. I can keep going.

Bad day. I get to be forward today.

Bow to me, for I am the queen of interns.

You sleep with me. You eat lunch with me. New rule.

I broke his bone.

The odds are against us. I am a one woman wrecking ball, all I do is break you: your hand, your penis, your relationships, your life. I can say our survival rate is about 3% and that’s, that’s bad but that’s not nothing. I don’t think we should give up on this, at least not yet.

My heart does not live in my... vagina.

For once in my life I am doing something for me and it has nothing to do with having feelings for you, or for Mark, or for anyone. This is about not feeling. You make me not feel. And if you can’t handle that, if you can’t handle being used for sex, then please just tell me so I can find a guy who can.

Sure, he’ll sleep with him. He slept with Addison. He’ll screw anything that moves. But what? I’m supposed to check into a convent. Why is he hanging on like this?

I didn’t plan on being here. I was all set for an internship at Mass Gen. And then, my mother gets the hiccups and I’m at a funeral. You know, we all have problems. Moms die, and dads drink so much they don’t even know what year they’re in, and sisters, I didn’t even know there was a Meredith Grey until a couple months ago. And she doesn’t even want to talk to me. I don’t want to be here, I’d give anything to not be here. To have my life work out the way I planned, to have time to ask ‘What about me?’ So you change, you get over it. I’m here, now. And you, you delivered a baby today. So, stop feeling sorry for yourself.

I’m an adult child of an alcoholic is what happened to me. I have boundaries issues. So when Meredith made me eggs this morning, I couldn’t not eat them. I had to pretend I wasn’t allergic to eggs and now I have a rash covering my entire body. I’m co-dependent.

He forgot he had sex with me?!

No. I forgive you. I forgive you for treating me like crap, and I forgive you for letting your friend treat me like crap. I don't know how you get up in the morning, I honestly don't. Our dad abandoned you. And your mom by all accounts was the meanest person ever and you can't let Derek love you, and it all really, really sucks. But ever since I knew you existed, I had this fantasy about my big sister, and you have failed on every occasion to live up to that fantasy. But I still love you whether you are capable of letting me or not. So, I forgive you.

It happens. People make mistakes. They... sleep with the wrong person and... they hide it but, if you ask me, it's the part that comes after that matters, the part where you make it right. And I think you're off to a good start.

I know. I’m pathetic and George doesn’t know I exist and I missed my surgery and blah blah blah. Could you please just tell me how it went?

Interns. You could screw interns. I mean, date. Residents can date interns because we’re non-threatening. I read a study once that said interns hardly ever file sexual harassment claims because we feel so weak and powerless in the hospital environment. So that’s good.

Those are your interns? Did you even ask for me? I helped you study. I decorated your stupid locker and you don't even see it! You don't see anything! I am such an idiot. And you are a jerk. You didn't even think to ask for me? Screw you, Dr. O'Malley.

Sorry about this little guy, must have been awful. One day you’re at some beautiful farm out in the country, breathing in the fresh air, lounging in the mud with all your friend and the next thing you know you’re sedated and stabbed in some skills lab.

I named the pigs today. I take things personally. I get too emotional. There’s no place for it at work, not with the pigs and not with you. I’m sorry.

I get it. I the one who organized a crazy cabal of secret cutter interns. The thing is I’ve been advised to seek out sex as a way out of my sad predicament, but I think I would rather just learn today. So, what do you say? You, me...

I respect you as a man, as a surgeon, as a teacher, I respect you. So, teach me. Teach me. C’mon, am I really so bad?

You sleep with me, you lunch with me. New rule.

Oh my god, are you okay?! It’s bent in the middle! I think I broke it!

He’s badly injured, in a bad way, for anyone who’s a man, but for Dr. Sloan in particular. He may have broken a bone. He broke a bone. I broke his bone.

How should I know? That’s none of my business and none of yours. But if I did know who broke Mark Sloan’s penis, I wouldn’t tell you because we’re not even friends. I mean, I took out your appendix and it almost ended my career. That doesn’t make us close.

I don’t want to keep secrets. I’ve been keeping secrets all day about surgeries and rings and you. And that secret, the ‘you’ secret, is giving me high blood pressure. And I don’t want that secret. We’re having a relationship and if we are, if we’re in a relationship, then I need to be in it in front of my sister and Derek Shepherd. If we can’t do that, then I can’t do this.

Until you tell Derek, our relationship is going to continue to consist of you hiding in the attic and me smuggling snacks past Mere’s bedroom. Do you know what that makes you? Anne Frank. I am dating Anne Frank and I’m tired of it. I want to go downstairs with you and I want to tell the Germans to kiss my ass.

“Hi mom, please prepare yourself because this is going to be difficult to read. I’ve been in an accident. I’ve suffered terrible injuries and seventeen surgeries. Currently I’m suffering from an abdominal infection which I’ve refused to treat. I’m going to die soon. Please come quickly, Mom and if I’m gone before you get here, I just wanted to tell you how much I love you, and to thank you for making me from scratch.” I can hit the call button and have the nurses in here take you to surgery or I can hit send, that’s the deal.

Are you really gay? Like how gay are you on a scale of 1 to gay? ‘Cause that’s my boyfriend in the shower, my hot, naked boyfriend and how gay are you?

So I’m going to be fired. I’ve done a lot of really dumb things today, including pulling your medical files. Just listen. I didn’t want to do this. I didn’t want to have to come to you for anything, ever. So I thought if I looked up your blood type and it was the wrong one, then that would be it. Then I could just stop thinking about it. But I can’t because you have his blood. And I know that he is not your dad. I know that he was never there for you. And I would never ask you to give him anything and he doesn’t deserve a thing from you. He doesn’t but he’s gonna die Meredith. And so I’m asking you to give something to me. I’m asking, I am asking you to give me my dad because as crappy as he was to you, he was wonderful to me. He never missed a single dance recital. He was there at my fifth grade graduation. What is that? That’s not even real. I know he’s not your dad, I know that. But somehow, you have his blood and I don’t. So I’m asking you, give me my dad.
Lexie: Here’s the thing about the rain. It usually just drizzles, not like tonight. But when it stops everything is super green and it’s beautiful and it smells like trees.

Hey, I wore a diaper yesterday, yes, and I will wear one today. If it helps get Dr. Shepherd through this surgery, I will wear a diaper. My diaper is awesome. My diaper is hardcore. You wish you had the balls to wear my diaper. I’m going to wear it and I’m going to wear it with pride. And if I have to pee in it, oh I’ll pee because I am a surgeon. This is America. And I will do what needs to be done. So you can kiss my hardcore diaper wearing ass.

You are pathetic, and hypocritical, and slutty!

You can’t be an ass to me all day and then expect me to give you respect. You can’t be an ass to me all day and then expect me to give you sex. And you can stop with the patronizing nicknames. I’m a nice person who couldn’t even bring myself to attempt matricide by sweet and low. That makes me charming to anyone else. I am a nice person. And I am nice to you. So whatever your damage is, you better start being freaking nice to me, or I am not spreading my legs for you anymore no matter how much I may want to. Now give me a damn beer.

It's like turning off the TV when Clarisse is knocking on the door of the house. It's silencing the lambs, and the lambs want to scream, Dr. Bailey. The lambs want to scream.

That a hooker on your shoulder?

Crap, my dad's tatted up skank isn't the bitch. I am.

Mark is having a baby, and he didn't even ask my opinion. He just clobbered me with it again. And he's leaving me behind again. So we're done. You know? We have to be, but I miss him.

I never really got it before, but this is how he operates. He starts up new families, stops talking to the old ones. He'll go off marry Dani the tattooed lady, have six little mid-life crisis babies, and I'll never hear from him again. It's exactly what he did to you.

That's what happens when your boyfriend's an old man. Old men get cancer.

He was too busy lovin' up on a tattooed twenty-year-old.

You're not his family! You're his midlife crisis!

It always feels like there is just one person in this world to love, and then you find somebody else, and it just seems crazy that you were ever worried in the first place.

Here's the thing — you're killing him. You're taking a gun and killing him, and there is nothing romantic about a joint suicide.