Grey's Anatomy: Miranda Bailey

I have five rules. Memorize them. Rule 1: Don't bother sucking up. I already hate you. That’s not going to change. Trauma protocol, phone lists, pagers. Nurses will page you. You answer every page at a run. A run, that's rule 2. Your first shift starts now and last 48 hours. You’re interns, grunts, nobodies, bottom of the surgical food chain. Run labs, write orders, work every second and night until you drop and don't complain. On call rooms, attendings hog them; sleep when you can, where you can. Which brings me to rule 3: If I’m sleeping don't wake me unless your patient is actually dying. Rule 4: The dying patient better not be dead when I get there. Not only would you have killed someone, you would have waked me for no good reason. Are we clear? Rule 5: When I move, you move.

He is terrified! His child is a tree! Alex, listen to me, you will not get physical with another human being on my watch ever again! You will not question my authority and you will not defend your own girlfriend for killing a man! Are we clear?!

I am the woman you gets the ‘hots’ for man candy and cheats on her husband.

Stevens, I’m going unless you need me to call security.

Stop talking. Every intern wants to perform their first surgery. That's not your job. Do you know what your job is? To make your resident happy. Do I look happy? No! Why? Because my interns are whiny. You know what will make me look happy? Having the code team staffed, having the trauma pages answered, having the weekend labs delivered and having someone down in the pit doing the sutures. No one holds a scalpel until I'm so happy I'm Mary freaking Poppins. Why are ya'll standing there, so move!

I think you're cocky, arrogant, bossy, and pushy. You also have a God complex. You never think about anybody but your damn self. But what, I still have 22 seconds, I am not done.

Dr. Stevens, unless Mr. Duquette’s heart had suddenly grown a brain, you are not doing your job.

I will call security on you.

An ass who deals in asses, we call him "Lymph Harry" never spares the nerves...

You mind moving this tail wagon? You blocking me in.

Are we saving lives or having a tea party?

Something careless this way comes.

I couldn’t imagine you and Yang would be stupid enough to fall for your attendings, I was wrong about that, now wasn’t I?

You think you charming, in that talented, neurotic, overly moussed hair sorta way. Good for ya. But if you think I'm gonna stand back and watch while you favor her..

You don't scare me. Look, I'm not gonna advertise your extracurricular activities with my intern. However, the next time I see you favorin' Meredith Grey in any way I'll make sure she doesn't see the inside of an O.R. for a month.

Me. I'm Dr. McDreamy. I'm tall, and handsome, and I like to lean against things, and ponder the difficulties of dating beautiful women. I am trying to be a surgeon here!

Oh, yeah. I was the only female intern my year. I didn't know anybody and nobody knew me except Joe. He knew me.

Alex covers the ER. You can cover sutures until you get over your new found fear of scalpels.

To work the extra shifts, to get the extra practice. I’m trying to get all the practice I can before the baby comes and I have to take time off.

All you people ever think about is how to get into somebody's pants. You nasty, that's why you got syphilis.

You swallow a bitter pill this morning, Yang? They're dolls.

I thought I was your resident not your hostess.

If they're dead or dying when they come through those doors, you hump and hump hard, why?

You are a surgical junkie. Go home.

That’s right I’m babysitting. I’m being all unprofessional, and emotionally involved, while my patient and her husband have a moment together. You might want to leave now. I’m feeling a rush of hormones coming on. There’s no telling what I might do.

Sometimes people get on the table and they just die. There’s no way of knowing beforehand, no way to control it.

We’re all part of the cosmic joke O’Malley. Now leave me alone.

You’re her doctor. It is your responsibility to give the patient information necessary to make an informed decision.

Go! Cristina, you're on the thoracotomy.

Pissing off the nurses. Stupid.

I'm pregnant, you blind moron.

Did you hear me? He’s not dead until we say he's dead.

I’m sorry did I miss the bell for social hour.

My heart rate is 110, I'm burning 3000 calories a day, my legs are swollen, I've got indigestion and gas. Did you know that carrying a boy in your uterus means that you burn 10% more calories than if you had a girl? Guess what I'm carrying? I tried for 7 damn years and a month before my fellowship notification, the stick turns blue. Men. From the very beginnin' they just suck the life right outta you. I'm not leaving. I'm pregnant.

That big? Sounds like an impressively talented man, this 'Nazi.'

Like I said the stupidity of the human race.

The woman wasn't just in prison, Yang, she was in solitary.

O’Malley, get me the lab results. Do not pass go, do not talk to another living soul. Get the labs, get back here.

You try spending a month locked in a room with no windows, no one to talk to, 23 hours a day, see how deranged she is then.

Do not think for a moment I condone stealing patients.

I didn't say she wasn't. 1, 2, 3. I said try to having no one to make your snarky comments to for a solid month. My guess is you'd swallow the entire razor.
You got your second chance, just don't screw it up.

She’s a human traffic accident and everybody is slowing down to look at the wreckage. She’s doing the best she can with what she has left. You can’t help her now. You’ll only make it worse. Walk away. Leave her to amend.

You will not interact with any patients. You will not be alone with any patients. You will be seen and not heard. You will perform no procedures. The OR is off limits. No pre-op, no post-op, no anything having to do with an op. You have no authority. You have no opinions. You have no choice in this matter. Am I understood?

Do not kick me. You cannot kick me while I’m doing my job. Thank you.

Interns. Too emotional. Apologies.

Polite doesn’t seem to be getting you two very far.

If you keep going, the way you’re going, you will get an STD. You will get pregnant. You will increase your chances of getting cervical cancer. You’re not being too smart and you’re too young for anyone to expect you to be smart the way you need to be when you’re having sex, which means you shouldn’t be having it.

Information is power.

Half this hospital knows your business. Flu is not the only virus flying through this hospital.

If you make your resident look bad, she’ll torture you until you beg for your mama.

Grey, Karev, cover the pit. You can expect all sorts of holiday idiocy sooo... that is my gift to you.

I may be 47 months pregnant, I may be on bed rest, I may not be able to see my own feet. But I am Doctor Bailey. I hear everything. I know everything. I'm watching each and every one of you.

I’ve been gone two week. Two weeks. And you’ve managed to run off two residents. I’ve got people phoning me at home telling me my interns are Rosemary’s babies. Nobody wants you! Do you think I have time for this? I am pregnant. I’m supposed to be on bed rest. I’m supposed to be growing a human being. I’m supposed to be calm. Do I look calm to you? Did I raise you fools to be pariahs?

Tell her my contractions are ten minutes apart and my water just broke all over your shoes.

A boy the size of a ten pound bowling ball is working his way out of my body. Can you get me something for that? Can you get me a new vagina? I didn't think so.

Stop looking at my va-jay-jay!

Krev, go find your patient. Stevens, scrub in on Noah's patella fracture.

You burn the She-Shepard, she burns back. Go.

You know something. Preston Xavier Burke. Where are my suck ups?

My interns. My ass-kissing, surgery hungry, competitive, suck ups? Where are they? Why aren't they here fetching you ice chips and morphine? Why aren't they here sucking up?

You can tell me whose damn panties are on the bulletin board! This is a hospital. Serious work happens here. We save lives!

Which one of you left your damn drawers on my surgical floor?!

There's ALWAYS a fish in a man's penis!

I can’t use you. You have to earn back the right for any of us to trust you again. Until then, you will be shadowing a different doctor each day.

Cause people are stupid and just want to be loved. That's the only reason anybody does anything.

I mean, don't get me wrong, I have faith. I do. But faith isn't medicine. Faith... can't heal you.

[voiceover] As doctors, we know more about the human body now than at any other point in our history. But the miracle of life itself - why people live and die, why they hurt or get hurt - is still a mystery. We want to know the ason, the secret, the answer at the back of the book. Because the thought of our being all alone down here is just too much for us to bear. But at the end of the day, the fact that we show up for each other, in spite of our differences, no matter what we believe, is reason enough to keep believing.

Your face may be different but you know that it’s not about what you look like, or your job, or how successful you are. It’s about having people in your life that you love who love you. That’s all that matters.

[voiceover] In the beginning, God created the heaven and the earth. At least, that's what they say. He created the birds of the air and the beasts of the field, and he looked at his creation and he saw that it was good. And then god created man, and it's been downhill ever since. The story goes on to say that God created man in his own image, but there's not much proof of that. After all, God made the sun and the moon and the stars, and all man makes is trouble. And when man finds himself in trouble, which is most of the time, he turns to something bigger than himself, to love or fate or religion. To make sense of it all.

Right now, this second, this moment. You chose your own fate.

I thought you told me to keep the animals under control!?

It’s a hillbilly picnic.

Izzie, it's not in your job description. You are a doctor. He is a patient. He's your patient! Biopsy these! If they come back positive, I expect to see you in surgery. You're on this! You hear me?

So, because he saw you in a thong...

I can't do that, sir. You know how these young puppies are.

You do that. In the meantime, why don't we pretend it's you on this table, and give this a try.

Right. Well, let's hope she lives to "gently stalk" another day.

Look at this. Everybody wants a life without pain. And what does it get you? She needs to be on a poster somewhere to remind people, pain is there for a reason.

Look I need you to relax, shut up, and get better. You're a patient this week so you can be a doctor next week. Understand?

Hey, life is short, times are hard, the road is long, with many a winding turn.

The joy. It comes around rarely, so rarely we forget it can happen. But that, that's why we do this. The joy.

No, I'm leaving him. 'Cause a marriage that results to ultimatums, it's not a marriage. I mean, what kind of husband does that? So, I'm going to be a single mom. It's not the time for new specialties. (starts to cry) Damn. I'm sorry. I don't know, it's just the first time I've said it out loud. So it kind of just took the wind out of me.

Fools on bikes killing themselves. Natural selection is what it is.

Dead baby bike race day started twenty minutes ago.

I can’t solve a problem until there’s a problem to solve. So are you saying there’s a problem?

You think I’m even thinking about you and you’re romantic problems? I’m trying to help a patient, very near and dear to my heart. And if consulting with your wife, your ex, your mistress, whatever it is that she becomes, if that’s the thing I have to do to save my patient, then I’m going to damn well do it.

You have put yourself between two very fine women and you looking for an easy way out. You wanna use me, hospitable, somebody to make the decision for ya and it’s not gonna happen!

Let me remind you of the rules of your probation. No touching patients. No talked to patients. No rolling your eyes at patients or your superiors.

I like Thanksgiving. A day people spend with their families. Too much family time triggers depression, repressed childhood rage, bitter disputes over the remote, and way too much alcohol. People get stupid, people get violent, people get hurt. Surgeries, Grey. Lots and lots of surgeries. The stupidity of the human race. Be thankful for that.

Like I said, the stupidity of the human race.

Family members do not treat family members.

Knives can be tricky.

Hey, it's not my fault you broke the boy's penis.

It’s the car’s fault. SUVs have blind spots the size of Jupiter. And yelling and fighting and placing blame is not going to help your child!

If you thumb suckers won’t quit whining, I won’t show you what’s behind this door. And trust me, you’d want to see what’s behind this door.

I thought about it. Not keeping it. My husband and I … we tried for years but still when that stick turned blue... Well you can’t work the way we work, you can’t want the kind of careers that we want and not take pause. I took pause. I paused. I paused a very long time. I sat up one night. Middle of the night... and I knew I could do this... I still don’t know how I’m gonna do this but... I knew I could do it. You just have to know and when you don’t know then no one can fault you for it. You do what you can when you can, while you can. And when you can’t, you can’t.

Penises and fingers. Like apples and oranges.

Poor girl is going to kill herself trying not to die.

Porn as pain management.

We can’t have porn in here. We are a hospital.

And yet no one is questioning your competence as a surgeon.

No her schedule is clear now. She can’t compete today. And if she enjoys the taste of solid food, I recommend giving up the sport for something a little less aggressive. Say boxing.

Uh, Tucker Jones you better lying in the street somewhere dead Mister because when I get my hands on you... I am having your baby here Mister!

He understands his reality; he just chooses to ignore it. Denial works for him.

Oh no. You have poison oak where nobody wants to have poison oak.

Yeah I pissed off the chief. I went and had a baby. I gave birth, I created a new life. I'm a surgeon, we don't do that. He's mommy tracking me. No, I change diapers, I clean spit up, I sing the ABC's, I'm covered in mommy, but that doesn't mean I will be mommy tracked.

Look, I... I am an attending, and I am a single mother, and I lost O'Malley, and, I just can't, I can't care anymore. Stevens not my child, O'Malley was not my child. I have to stop treating. I just have to stop caring so much 'cause I can't keep feeling like this, not at work. I have to save the feeling for my son, who needs it. So I just can't keep giving it away he... I can't, I won't.

A mother who’s human, a mother who is overwhelmed.

Grey is going to coax him back as a loving friend, you're gonna use logic and reason to point out the idiocy of his ways, Stevens will made sad cancer eyes and if all of that doesn't work, Karev, you pull out your "I was raised out back with the trash cans" roots and just beat the crap out of him.

The next time you wake me, he better be so close to dead there's a tag on his toe.

He just patted me on the back. Tell me when did I become a person who gets patted on the back!?

Where was rational thought? Where was cognitive thinking? Especially to do no harm. The morals, the ethics. Where was the sanity when you three decided to help that girl? No, no speaking. Nobody speaks. I do not want to have to testify against any of you in a court of law. Not one word.

You get too involved with your patients. Why do you make everything so personal?

Okay people, the rules of trauma. Don’t mingle with the ER interns they don’t know their ass from their esophagus. So fast, discharge fast to get bodies up to the OR, and don't let me hear you fighting over patients. Got it?

No, he's not okay, at all. He hurled his body down a concrete mountain for no good reason.

I work more because I learn more.

Surgeons don’t say ‘um’ O’Malley. You want to be a surgeon, learn to speak like one.

When you operate, the rest of the world goes away, hunger, thirst, pain. You don’t feel it. But in the OR, it’s not that way, when you’re sharing your body with another person.

We’ve all had deaths, let’s go save a life.

And cocoa equals Ju-Ju how?

I have to believe that when our time comes, we go to a place, a beautiful place, a better place.

I’m proud of you all. You make me proud. You reflect on me well. Grey, if you think you can keep your clothes on long enough to follow up the lab, I’d appreciate it.

Diseased kidneys are not tchotchkes for your coffee table.

I’m not allowed to think anything. There are rules that prevent me from having an opinion here. Good rules, rules in place for a reason. Because giving an organ that god placed in your body for someone else isn’t something that you can be coerced into doing. It is a big thing, it is an extraordinary thing. It is a gift that must be freely given. And if you were to give it and I’m not asking you to, but if you were to give it, it’s not just for your husband. It’s for five other people. People that you don’t know from Adam.

Oh, you think I got to choose my interns? And I picked you people... 'cause you're all such a surgical dream team? [to Alex] You, you're lazy. [to Izzie] You're whiney. [to Meredith] Butter fingers over there... downright depressing. [to Cristina] You, Yang, you're just annoying. Choosing their own interns!

That girl worked her ass off for you and you took all the credit.

If it doesn’t feel like work, it’s not going to work.

You can’t fight who you are. If you’re the best, you’re the best.

You know what to do already. If you didn’t, you wouldn’t be in so much pain.

Men. They just suck the life right out of you.

Look, these are premies, people. They were expecting to have another eight weeks in the womb. Just like interns, they’re not ready for the real world yet.

Pregnancy has not made me soft. I haven’t gone soft. I don’t do soft.

Just wouldn’t want to throw up in the body cavity.

You just have to know, and when you don’t know, then no one can fault you for it. You do what you can, when you can, why you can. And when you can’t, you can’t.

Lots of hair. Too many women. Likes elevators and long walks on the beach.

Leave this man alone. Go torture the new attending.

I lost my work-husband and my husband-husband.

Uh, the fascist vegan thinks that yoga is going to make me a better person, which is unlikely, but if I don’t go, I’ll have to hear about it every time.

There is nothing magic about a third date. It is possible to eat and go home and not lose your pants in the process.

Let me tell you about my surgical field. I prep my surgical field with soap and water. I keep my surgical field the way God made it. I don’t need a member of Ukrainian K.G.B. waxing it smooth so it can be mistaken for the surgical field of a five year old girl. I am a woman, and a woman was meant to have something on her surgical field. If a man can’t deal with a little something on a surgical field, a little nature from God, then that man has no business getting near my surgical field.

I have a diaphragm. Diaphragms prevent pregnancies, they don’t protect against the wrath of sexually transmitted diseases.

The best time to have kids... is never. They cry all the time. They never sleep. They’re terrible conversationalists. And they take everything you’ve got, all your time, all your focus, all your patience, all your sleep, everything. You’ve got nothing left for you. But this morning, Little Tuck woke me up by putting his nose up against mine. His cold little nose and he goes, ‘Wake up.’ And he got the ‘k’ sound is ‘wake.’ ‘Wake up.’ Up until today he’d say ‘d’ instead of ‘k’. ‘Wade up.’ Girl, him nailing that ‘k’ sound is the pride I felt irrational, unbridled, joy. It’s at least as good as any whipple. If you’re waiting for the perfect time to have kids, you’re never going to have kids.

You are interns. You are in charge of nothing. All procedures will be discussed and seen by an upper level. All charts will be signed out by an upper level. And all patients will be looked at by someone other than you!

Some things, O’Malley, some things just don’t need to be told.

Oh you deserve it. Dr. Karev, you do deserve chastise for your stunningly poor decision making. You certainly earn a reprimand for your unbelievably destructive tactical error. You got in the face of a drug dealer. You got in the face of a drug dealer before the police had arrived. You got in the face of a known felon while his one year old child was still in the room. Are you stupid? Are you without the intelligence because I know you were taught better than that? I taught you better than that, Dr. Karev. Getting in the face of a drug dealer, you fool.

You can go tell Dr. Grey the clinic is not a dumping ground for strays. We are not an island for broken interns. Please go tell her that.

He got in your way. He’s been doing that all day. When that happens, when an intern gets in the way of a resident, you’re not doing what’s best for your patient. And you almost misdiagnosing that kid today because Norman here thought it was drugs. Don’t apologize, he should be yelled at.

I don’t care how old he is, Dr. Karev. He is still an intern. And interns are basically teenagers. We are not hard on them because it’s fun. We are hard on them because this is a life and death job. They need to learn that. There’s a reason why we have a pecking order in a hospital. It saves lives.

People are chasing death down and trying to cheat it.

I am so right about so many things it would make your head spin.

This will be a professional environment. So your love lives, your hopes and dreams, the little joys and tragedies that make you who you are have no place in my hospital. The locker room is for changing, not for crying. The on-call room is not for anything that requires a locked door.

I pay attention. I pay attention. I pay attention to people in all walks of life, of all types. I notice people. I see people. It’s guys like you who don’t see people like me.

In the beginning, God created the heaven and the earth at least that’s what they say. He created the birds of the air and the bees of the fields, and he looked at his creation and he saw that it was good. And then god created man. And it’s been downhill ever since. The story goes on to say that God created man in his own image but there’s not much proof to that. After all, God made the sun, the moon, and the stars and all man makes is trouble. And when man finds himself in trouble, which is most of the time, he turns to something bigger than himself to love or fate or religion to make sense of it all. But for a surgeon, the only thing that makes any kind of sense is medicine.

Faith isn’t medicine. Faith can’t heal you.

As doctors we know more about the human body now than at any other point in our history. But the miracle of life itself, why people live and die, why they get hurt, is still a mystery. We want to know the reason, the secret, the answer in the back of the book, because the thought of our being all alone down here is just too much for us to bear. But at the end of the day the fact that we show up for each other in spite of our differences, no matter what we believe, is reason enough to keep believing.

Now may I recommend you all go home? You smell, you're greasy, you need to bathe and I'm sick of lookin' at ya.

This boycott has gone on long enough. Now, I have no authority here but I would like the offer my thoughts on Dr. Sloan. This man is a whore, has always been a whore, will probably always be a whore, but that’s not a secret. He’s not keeping it hidden. You all knew who he was before you got involved with him and now you want to be all ‘Woe is me, he’s done calling me back, he’s dating other women.’ He’s nasty but he’s a doctor here and a pretty good one. So let us all close our knees and get back to our jobs so he can get back to his job and help the people that really need it. Disburse!

Andrew, you’re gonna make a lot of mistakes in your life but mistakes, they’re just pieces. Like this is the foolish piece, but you know, it’s just a piece. You need to be proud of the whole picture, the whole picture defines you not just one piece.

Andrew, listen to me. Han solo is not a loser. Han solo got encased in carbonate and that was a big mess but that’s not what he’s remembered for. He’s remembered for as the guy who made the kelso run in less than twelve parsecs. And who braved the subzero temperatures of ice planet hop in order to save someone he cared about from the big ugly Whompa. He’s remembered as the guy who swooped down last minute to blast Darth Vader out of the sky so that Luke could use the force and destroy the damn death star. Okay? And Princess Leia saved him from the carbonate and they fell in love and they saved the universe and had twin Jedi babies that went on to save the universe again. Right, now that’s the whole picture. The carbonate is just a piece.

That’s the beauty of general surgery. See badness surrounded by goodness. Cut out the badness all is right with the world. It’s just you and your scalpel. One on one, mono a mono.

Next time, you'll know to bring in an ugly doll, won't you Stevens?

If it doesn’t feel like work it’s not going to work.

I do not know what it will be, I do not know when it will be. I do know that the winner should be prepared to do any surgical procedure and will choose one intern to scrub in. So practice your skills, impress your attendings, and do not make me look stupid.

Kinley has been replaced with an infant on rollerskates named Arizona, who didn’t have sense enough to change her name to something other than Arizona which shows poor judgment as does her diagnosis of a patient that I have been working with for three years. She’s completely changing Kinley’s treatment protocol based on, like half an hour experience with the child. She just took out most of his bowel instead of trying to salvage what he has left. She just wants to throw up her hands and wait for a transplant.

You. You’re squirrelly. I don’t trust you. I don’t trust you in this hospital. And I certainly don’t trust you with my patient of three years who’s extremely important. If you want to stay on this case, you will stay out of my way, you will do what I tell you, and if you have something to say to or about my patient, you will raise your hand and wait to be called on.

I’m tired of waiting while this kid is getting worse. Jackson’s tired, his mother is too. The only one who’s happy to sit on her ass and twiddle her thumbs and wait is you!

I’m going to do my best to keep the beautiful little boy alive long enough to find him some organs. I suggest you do everything you can to keep your patient alive, because we’re doctors, Grey. We’re not executioners.

He’s a wreck. He’s disintegrating before our very eyes. That’s why men die earlier than women.

Do you think for a second I wanted to get involved in your little intern drama? Get married in Vegas, shackin’ up with attendings, cutting LVAD wires. You don’t have to like it, but you have to manage it.

Your friend is just fine no thanks to any of you. Tomorrow, do better.

I would want to know if my kid were sick. And if I was sick I would want my mom. I just thought you were being too proud or that you were trying to protect her, but now I see you’re just trying to protect yourself.

Don’t take my face personally, it’s my face today.

The joy, it comes around rarely, so rarely we forget it can happen. But that, that’s why we do this. The joy.

What polite company might call an intervention though I’m not sure that interventions involve whooping people on the behind with a belt.
Mb: Grey is going to coax him back as a loving friend. You are going to use logic and reason to point out the idiocy of his ways. Stevens is going to look sad with her cancer eyes, and if all of that doesn’t work, Karev, you’re going to pull out your ‘I was raised out back with the trash cans’ roots and just beat the crap out of him.

A marriage that results to ultimatums, that’s not a marriage. What kind of husband does that?

I’m going to stop listening to you because the words you are saying are hurting me!

I have five interns. Four of you have been on this table. One of you has cancer. One of you died. You better not pull anything funny on me Grey.

Don’t play the race card with me. Sing or get off my service.

I’m in the middle of a divorce. People call me the Nazi and it’s not because of my ice blue eyes. I spend 12 hours a day carving people up and I like it. I have a child and I have no room for casual anything. I’m angry all of the time and deeply confused because a lot of people have let me down recently, one of them was me. It’s devastating but not completely because it turns out I like sleeping crosswise in the bed and not having to shave my legs. My three year old used to be potty trained and now he isn’t because his father no longer lives with us and his world no longer makes sense and the only thing he thinks he can control is his bladder. So he urinates in a lot of places you wish he wouldn’t urinate. You want lunch or you want to show me the scan?

People like to feel heard. They like to feel respected. And they like to hear an apology.

Too much nature can make people crazy.

You are handing your power over to a boy because he is giving you sex. I’m Dr. Bailey, I know everything. And you have a super power. That memory of yours is a super power. And on top of it, you’re letting Alex Karev treat you like a scut monkey. Don’t care how good the sex is, if that’s what it cost, you’re paying too much. Scut Monkey. All day.

Jokes. Don’t make jokes about patients. Not in front of them, not even in private.

I just want to tell you that I will not have my personal business all over the hospital like every other resident hoe there, so therefore you will not flirt with me at work. Listen, you will not kiss me at work. You will not look at me with the obvious ‘I’ve seen you naked eyes’ at work. What we do in the bedroom stays in the bedroom. I’m a professional woman with a stellar reputation, and more importantly, and a lady does not show her drawers at the office.

You realize your door is unlocked? I could be anyone. I could be a burglar coming to burglar you. Where's the baby? Oh, I could be a baby-napper trying to baby-nap you.

OK, first of all, you do not need the law or a priest or your mother to make your wedding real. And the church can be anywhere you want it to be - In a field, on a mountain, right here in this room, anywhere because where do you think god is? Come on, He's in you. He's in me. Just right here, in the middle of us. Your church just hasn't caught up to God yet. Your mother, she hasn't caught up to God yet. And, by the way, she may not ever catch up, but it's OK. It's okay. If you are willing to stand up in front of your friends, family, and God, and commit yourself to another human being to give yourself in that kind of partnership for better or worse in sickness and in health. Hunny, that is a marriage. That is real, and that's all that matters. Besides, I got legally married in a church. Look how well that turned out.

Jonas Salk cured polio. Miranda Bailey is going to cure fistula.

Okay, I'm not dating a nurse. We're not dating, but we're having fun. I look at him and he's pretty, but there's no future.

I need someone who speaks Grey.

I'm taking a nap. Uh, I'm sorry. What I mean to say is that I'm going to use this room to take a nap. Because that's what people do in these rooms when they're tired. Cause I have a child and a full-time job and work long hours, so I'm just tired. Just very, very tired.

I generally don't make it a habit to hug my patients.

This is one surgery that I am happy to have finish. Tonight I may very well take the night off, go out, maybe have a drink, who knows?

You know the first rule of residency: Eat when you can, sleep when you can, and don't screw with the pancreas.

I could use a win, that's all. Yang. Yang was the one I didn't have to worry about.

Sexual sorbet? Hahaha! I love it.

Young people need love too.