Grey's Anatomy: Other Characters

Patricia, head nurse: With every fresh banana, always use a fresh condom.

Patricia, head nurse: When the time is right and gentleman, you'll all know when that time is, carefully open the condom packet and roll it onto the banana.

Patricia, head nurse: She knows your not in surgery. And she said to tell you, quote, "We are going to our niece's school pageant this morning. You have known about it for months. And after what you pulled on Thanksgiving...” and then she, started using a great many words I don't feel comfortable repeating.

Patricia, head nurse: And there was something about "divorce".

Patricia, head nurse: That’s why you don’t get any respect from the nurses; surgical arrogance.

Debbie, nurse: A little bit of respect and you could have saved yourself a very long day, Dr. Yang.

Debbie, nurse: Because I am not a bouncer and this is not a nightclub! I am doing what I can with extremely limited staff and resources and if you have a problem with that take it up with ‘Chief!’

Dr. Kent: Look I'm only here for one day and I don't need my ass kissed. All I need is to tell you what to do and you do it. And I don't like mistakes. Whatever, there's only one resident I want in my OR; a guy they call The Nazi. Do you know him? He gets a great word of mouth, stellar rep, balls the size of Texas?

Dr. Kent: We’ve got a line out the door for sutures. Everybody’s an amateur chef until they get a knife in their hands.

Nurse Olivia Harper: Another leech fell off and I can't get the new one to bite. I'm sorry, they just really freak me out.

Nurse Olivia Harper: People get lonely, George.

Nurse Olivia Harper: If she can’t love him back the way he loves her, then she doesn’t deserve him.

Nurse Olivia Harper: Change your own bedpans, Stevens!

Thatcher Grey: I spent years studying this board, holding a crying baby, trying to get an idea when my wife would get out of surgery. Appy takes about an hour. Anything with the word ‘cardio’ in it, I had to plan on never seeing her at all.

Thatcher Grey: I took her childhood; I can’t take any more from her.

Bomb Squad Captain, Dylan Young: Meredith, I want you to look at me. Look at me. I know this is bad. And I know that I'm this ass whose been yelling at you all day. So you pretend that I'm not; you pretend that I'm someone you like, whatever you need. But you need to listen to me.

Bomb Squad Captain, Dylan Young: The chief of surgery has authorized me to tell you you can not stay here.

Bomb Squad Captain, Dylan Young: You've got a sense of irony.

Bomb Squad Captain, Dylan Young: Meredith, this is not your brain on drugs. This is death. You are dead. You are really freaking dead. You're dirt dead, nap dead. No more you, dead.

Bomb Squad Captain, Dylan Young: You know what? That's why I don't like to be here with you. Because you don't assess the situation, you just dive right in.

Tim: To remind you... that you're not dried up.

Dr. Sidney Heron: My philosophy is “heal with love.”

Dr. Sidney Heron: Standing up for what he believes in, that’s my kind of little girl.

Dr. Sydney Heron: Dr. Yang wanted to be sure that perky little bimbo cheerleader wasn't in here trying to kill a patient. Am I right? Now with all do respect Dr. Burke, I know you don't know me very well, but I'm pretty good at what I do. And my patient is a 25 year old marathoner and I told her husband I'm going to try and save her leg. So my plan is to stand here for as many hours as it takes to scrape away every last cell of necrotic flesh. Now when I'm done, if it's still spreading, then we'll take the leg. And if we do, then our eager young intern here can hold the saw. Now unlike Dr. Karev, kindness and compassion aren't very high on her list of priorities, but a little bone-saw action, well maybe that will earn me some respect. Am I right? Now Dr. Yang, you ready to scrub back in?

Dr. Sidney Heron: I lost a kid, my first year. It was my fault, and I just couldn’t… so I had a breakdown, they gave me time off, and when I came back I put a smile on my face and everybody thought I was fine. I lost a kid. It comes in waves, Izzie. There’s a low and then another wave hits you. I wasn’t trying to pry, I just wanted you to know that it’s okay not to be fine sometimes.

Dr. Sidney Heron: Meredith is cleansing. In tribal culture, when one wants to cleanse a past, one cuts off all of one’s hair and buries it in the earth. You might try that, too.

Dr. Sidney Heron: Derek, I’m a lot of woman. I bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan, serve it on eggs or in a sandwich, or crumbled up in a tossed salad. Not just bacon. But Derek I bring a lot of things to the table, and I’m looking for a man who can do the same. A man who can meet my needs. All my needs. I just don’t think you’re ready.

Dr. Wyatt: Yes, horrible things do happen. Happiness in the face of all of that... that's not the goal. Feeling the horrible and knowing that you're not gonna die from those feelings, that's the point.

Dr. Wyatt: And you're not done. You've made progress because you're feeling and you're telling me about it. Six months ago, it would've been just you and a bottle of tequila. My door is always open.

Dr. Wyatt: It’s a relationship. People make mistakes.

Jane Burke: Did I hear you refer to Miranda Bailey as a Nazi? You do understand that the Nazis were responsible for the worst genocide in the history of man, and a racist genocide as that. I would think that as a woman of color and as a doctor nonetheless, that you would think twice before using that word as a punch line.

Jane Burke: It’s not that I don’t like you. I think you’re a very smart, attractive woman, but you’re selfish. You pulled him out of a sick bed because you were uncomfortable. That’s selfish. You’re selfish, and my son is giving. And the combination is, well, it’s not going to last, not much longer.

Jane Burke: When you stood up in front of Preston’s friends and loved one and you said, ‘It’s over. It’s over. It’s so over.’ Were you trying to smash the hopes of the best man or were just trying to be funny? Because making light of that situation would be inappropriate and to use that moment to send a message to your boyfriend, well that’s selfish. So were you being inappropriate or were you being selfish?

Jane Burke: Once you’re in, you’re in. Be sure to have that engraved on your wedding ring once you’re married.

Jane Burke: George O’Malley, Burke’s friend, Burke’s guy. Staying in a marriage out of obligation, that’s no way to live, that’s no way to love. But I think you know that.

Jane Burke: Honorable men are all built the same.

Jane Burke: Do you know when to walk away? Do you know when not to take less than you deserve? If you do, then you’re an honorable man.

Dr. Swindler: My miracle case is on life support. I thought I had one. One miracle. I hate this job sometimes.

PARAMEDIC: You don't stick your hand inside of a patient when you don't know how he was injured. You don't stick your hand inside of a patient at all.

Clay Bedonie: You have your beliefs, I have mine.
Dr. Virginia Dixon: I don't have beliefs, I have science.
Clay Bedonie: Science is a belief, belief in only what you can see and touch. I believe in more.

Nurse Liz Fallon: I always divided surgeons into two categories: those who remember their patients, and those who didn’t. They always remember their surgeries though, every damn suture.

Nurse Liz Fallon: The Ellis Grey I know didn’t have regards for anyone I know except Ellis Grey.

Dr. Pete Wilder: I think why would I want to be attached to someone who doesn’t want to be attached to me?

Dr. Colin: She used to say to me that marriage was for the weak and undirected.

Nancy Jennings: Could you go tell Celeste? She’s a basket case and I don’t have it in me to take of my husband’s girlfriend right now. Of course I know. The wife always knows.

Dr. Naomi Bennett: A baby is not really an answer. It’s more a crying, puking answer.

Dr. Naomi Bennett: Nobody over thirty goes to the beach.

Dr. Naomi Bennett: You can’t use a movie made before you as your defense.

Dr. Violet Turner: You can’t be a man with your friend.

Dr. Violet Turner: Cooper, you’re blocking the caffeine. If you move, I’ll give you a cookie.

Dr. Cooper Freedman: I don’t go to hookers. I don’t go to strip clubs. I meet women on the internet that wanna meet me. So I like them a little younger, and a little dirtier. Is that wrong? That’s wrong?

Dr. Sam Bennett: You better be crying over that car and not Sexyboobs313.

Dr. Sam Bennett: Don’t talk about your penis while you hug another man.

Mrs. Shepherd: You have very low expectations for yourself, Mark Sloan. Since a little boy, you always have. And it’s time to raise them. You have the emotional maturity of a horny fifteen year old. You need young.

Mrs. Shepherd: I know enough. I know it’s easier to have compassion with a person than a murderer.

Black intern: Whoever it was, whoever rode him and broke him, that’s a girl I want on me.



Rose, nurse: Hospital is no better than high school.

Rose, nurse: my voice shakes when I’m nervous, it means I’m an imperfect person. It doesn’t mean I can’t fix the computer.

Rose, nurse: You want to insult my education or do you want me to help save your patient?

Rose, nurse: So not calling me after the sex is you being a dedicated life saver?

Rose, nurse: Before you existed, I was good. Every doctor in this hospital wanted me in their OR. I was known as a damn good scrub nurse. And now, I’m the crazy girl out of Fatal Attraction that goes around stabbing surgeons.

Rose, nurse: That’s kind of your thing, right? Juggling more than one person at a time?

White Supremacist Paramedic: I’m not the devil. I’m just a guy with a belief system.

Mrs. Archer: Surgery is barbaric. You tear flesh and spill blood. I work with light. I work with energy. I visualize healing. And even if there’s the slightest chance that what I do works, isn’t that preferable?

Phillip Robinson, bear attack patient: We’re newlyweds. She’s my rebound girl. She thought she was my rebound girl. I rebounded her all the way to the church. Only knew her ten days. When you know, you know, ya know.

Scott Robinson, bear attack patient: Dude, you married your midlife crisis.

Phillip Robinson, clinical trial patient: Jennifer we’re in a hospital full of eligible doctors and you’re a waitress with no prospects who needs to learn how to use her ass to catch a new guy before I bite the dust!

Phillip Robinson, clinical trial patient: Just because I’m blind doesn’t mean you can ignore me you sick twisted bastard! Playing games with people’s lives slicing open people’s brains.

Greta, clinical patient: Do you know how precious that is, time with someone you love?

Jeremy, clinical trial patient: Don’t you dare die. We’re not finished yet. I’m not finished loving you.

Tapley: Learning is like healing, it happens over time. Listen, keep running, not because you want to cut corners but because it makes you a better doctor.

Anna, ball gown patient: It’s pathetic, isn’t it? A married woman cheats on her best friend with her husband. You can’t go much lower than that.

Anna, ball gown patient: Little pieces of you get chipped away but another person and you shaved yourself away so that you’ll fit together. Then one day you look up and you don’t even know who you are.

Steve, intern: I draw a line at a tube in my penis. Line drawn.

Seth, patient’s husband: I’m not going to crap into a bowl until you admit it was a pimple.

Dr. Virgina Dixon: There are people dying right now, there are people dying. It’s inappropriate. I was talking about the brain dead girl. She can’t hear her sister, she can’t feel her hands. There are patients dying right now and those organs would keep them alive. Leave feelings out of it, leave them out of the science, leave them out of the decision making, because people are dying as we speak.

Dr. Virginia Dixon: It wasn’t appropriate but I’ve come to accept that from pediatric surgeons always breaking protocol. You touch the child whenever you speak with her. You explain conditions to the child, not just the parents, and then you react to the patient as if your own child and you break protocol which is inappropriate except in the case of pediatric surgery where protocols are constantly evolving. You are not a general surgeon. You are a pediatric surgeon.

Dunn, Prisoner: We’re not that different you and I. People are alive when they meet us, it all changes somehow.

Dunn: Would you fix a broken television before you throw it out?

Dunn: What are you so scared of Dr. Shepherd? Losing control? Or maybe, deep down, you know you’re no better than I am. You decide who lives and dies all the time but for you they call it medicine, not a capital offense.

Dunn: It would be good to have a friendly face in the crowd, when they kill me.

Sadie: My life is in pieces. All the time, I just keep breaking. As soon as I fix one, another goes down.

Mrs. Shepherd: I know it’s easier to have compassion for a good person than a murderer.

Jen, Brain aneurism pregnant patient: Brad proposed to me in a supermarket aisle. He said that was the first time he saw me. I said yes between the cat food and tampons.

Jen: You just told me there’s a time bomb in my head. I promise you I’m not going to stay calm.

Dr. Campbell: It’s just like a calculator. Just because there’s a machine to do if for them, children should have to learn simple arithmetic?

Band dork: Once you spaz out in front of the whole school, friends are kind of hard to come by.

Band dork: When most people see you as sick they don’t see you as anything else.

Stomach cancer patient: The reason Trish decides everything, Thanksgiving, dinners, vacations, she’s the only one left who knows how to cook a turkey, Mike. She’s the only one left who likes planning vacations. And she’s the only one left who remembers to make dinner reservations. She’s in charge of us because everyone else is dead. I want it. Now. I want the surgery right now.

Trish, stomach cancer patient: You don’t leave the people you love alone, Dr. Grey. That idiot may not know it yet but my fear is going to be what saves his life.

Dave, face transplant patient: Who am I kidding? It’s a face, right. If it’s anything above a point and stare freak, I’m gonna call it a success.

Mr. Torres: You don’t have children do you? No you don’t, because if you did, ‘Your daughter’s a grown woman,’ that means nothing. She’s my child. She’s like blood running through your veins. You don’t outgrow it, never goes away. The love, the need to protect from everything, even from themselves. They grow up, they move out, they change. Become people you don’t even recognize, make decisions. Then they think you don’t love them because you don’t understand. That’s the opposite. See it’s the opposite. You fight for them, always. You never surrender, or your child is on the line, you never surrender.

Mrs. Stevens: Life gave her lemons and she made cantaloupes.

Mrs. Stevens: When you have a sick child Cricket, money’s not really the first thing on your mind.

Mrs. Stevens: You don’t have skin on your organs, that doesn’t make a whole lot of sense.

Becca, patient: Today’s the day my life begins. Today I become a citizen of the world. Today I become a grown up. Today I become accountable to someone other than myself and my parents, accountable for more than my grades. Today I become accountable to the world, to the future, to all the possibilities that life has to offer, starting today. My job is to show up, wide eyed and willing and ready. For what? I don’t know. For anything. For everything. To take on life, to take on love, to take on the responsibility and possibility. Today, my friends, our lives begin, and I, for one, can’t wait.

Charlie, amputation patient: you think I don’t know that? You think I want to cut my leg off? Of course not! Am I sure about this? No. the only thing I’m sure about is that I know I’m in hell right now. That I am sure of. I’ve lost everything. Everything I’ve worked for, everything I care about. I’ve traded it in for a six times a day pain pill that doesn’t even work. So don’t waste both our times by trying to scare me because you do not scare me, Dr. Torres. After everything I’ve been through, nothing scares me. So are we going to do this or not?

Dr. Swindler: There is no cure for cancer, Dr. Yang. There’s only us, the two of us, right here, right now, fighting this thing as aggressively as we know how. And sometimes that means pumping toxins into the patient to kill the cancer. And yes, sometimes, not very often, but sometimes those toxins kill the patient as well. But Alison had three months to live when she came to see me and I have managed to keep her alive for two years. So I am not about to give up on her or the IL-2 anytime soon and neither are you.

Amanda, patient: We start with the cold shoulder, you’re right on track. Then we go to our girlfriends and bitch, then our girlfriends say, ‘You want to build a future, build it yourself.’ We don’t need a man to give you that, so you want to buy a house, buy a house.

It’s like watching a living freak show.

Clara, boating accident patient: She made me from scratch. That’s what she always says. Like when I wanted to go skydiving, you know, ‘don’t jump out of a plane Clara, I made that body from scratch.’ When I sprained my ankle, ‘Be more careful darling, I made that ankle from scratch.’

Irvine, patient: Let me tell you about the Golden Years. There’s got to be more to life than eating pudding and watching CSI. Now, come on, can you give an old man a working Johnson?

Irvine: Let’s stop pretending she’s going to college. She’s pretty, but she’s not too sharp.

Irvine: You’re just a kid, Doc, you won’t understand, but one day you’re gonna wake up and all the big stuff, all the milestones you’ve been looking forward to, graduation, wedding, having kids, your grandkids, it’s all behind you. It’s all over. All you’ve got is a bunch of yesterdays and very few tomorrows.

Billy, patient: She found her footing, in the back of your neck. Find your open window. Everyone has one. A weak spot, undefended, an open window, a key hidden in a fake rock. That’s how I do it.

Billy, patient: ‘You’re not just a good doctor, you’re a great doctor. You are the future of medicine.’ ‘Only you can keep you down.’ And my favorite: ‘No one can tell it’s plastic surgery.’ I think it’s the nose but it could be the boobs. What do you think?

Isaac: If you ever become frightened, instead become inspired.

Wallace’s mother: Bad dreams, bad dreams, go away. Good dreams, good dreams, here to stay.

Hilary: Dad please, the last thing I am is a disappointment. I’m on honor roll. I run the student council. I basically am the school paper. And I tutor kids with reading problems. Okay, I am every parent’s dream come true including yours. I was exploring the bounds of my consciousness with the help of a mushroom. I made a calculated risk going on that roof, falling off, well, that was a low probability of it, even though low probability of events occasionally occurs. And this one did. So yeah, you’re bummed. I miscalculated because it reminds you of your own unfathomed ability. I’m bummed too. Let’s just leave it at that.

Dr. Singer, patient: Oh yes you’re going in there. So what, he got you pregnant. You’re going to go right into that school and show those cheerleaders that you have nothing to be ashamed of. Those little bitches are poisonous.

Dr. Singer: Are you crazy? I’m never going back to those sex-crazed, teenage alcoholics. No way.

Patient’s boyfriend: Does it make me awful to say I was slightly disappointed? I guess I was just sitting out here thinking, ‘Now he’s going to be like the rest of us who teach and direct and do all the things he finds demeaning.’ You know what’s demeaning? Loving a man, taking care of him, doing his shopping, making his meals, making sure his humidifiers are clean. God forbid his humidifiers aren’t clean. What’s demeaning is loving a man who thinks so little of you.

Dr. Baylor: You don’t have wants or needs, you’re an intern. The bottom of the surgical food chain. I am a resident. I’ve been here three years, you’ve been here three days. Do the math. Draw her blood.

Harper Avery: Was it a student? Board member’s wife? No one gives up the Chief of Surgery gig and they don’t ask you to unless it’s for something juicy so who were you slipping it to?

Harper: Being awake for my own surgery, what an opportunity like this to be a student again in a new perspective. It’s what we got into this business for in the first place. Those moments that challenge and terrify, dare us to reach the potential we were meant to reach. Let’s stop the talk, and get into the OR and teach those kids, teach ourselves what it means to be great.

Harper: No! I decide when it’s enough. You think that I am arrogant and overbearing and maybe I am, but I am also you’re only living grandfather and it has become very clear to me today that my time is coming.

Molly, patient’s girlfriend: What? Pick up women? You mean, how do you explain your boobs to the next chick who’s dumb enough to date you?

Cancer patient: It’s like I’m applying to die.

Cancer patient: I would like to end my life through physician’s suicide.

Patient’s daughter: I’m nine and you just spelled sex.

Mrs. Corso: It’s easy to make jokes about him. You didn’t know him before. You don’t know that inside all of that, I’ve always known. He can make me laugh til I can’t breathe. He’s been trying to make you guys laugh all day but you’re all too disgusted to smile or joke with him, make him feel like a person. I brought him here because I thought you could help him, but you’re only making him feel worse. S unless you want to tell me the next step to getting him out of here and home I don’t want to hear anything from you.

Dr. Ben Warren: Now, woman, I am naked and I look good. Now are you going to sit there and lecture me or are you going to let me take you into my bedroom and have my way with you?

Mary, patient: Full of fresh blood, it’s disgusting. It’s like I’m a vampire or something.

Mary: She knows. Girls always know.

Dr. Percy: Nobody named Charlie ever got the girl. Charlie Brown. Charlie Manson.

Dr. Percy: You’re trading sex for surgery. That’s prostitution. Is that the part I’m supposed to get over?

Dr. Percy: I know you of Yang, she gives you the warm and fuzzies with her magical, special, heart skills but those lungs your transplanting belong to a patient of mine and it would mean a lot to turn his death into something meaningful.

Dr. Percy: Can you find her and tell her I loved her? I loved her so much. You tell her I was a catch. I was a hot, hot catch. And she missed out on a great guy. And you tell her I was a brave, even if I turn coward and start crying and asking for my mom in a second. You tell her I died brave, okay?

Dr. Percy: Well, you know what they say about people with big feet.

Dr. Percy: And some doctors enjoy torturing patients because they messed up and don’t know what they’re going to do with the rest of their lives.

Sloane: I don’t want to know where to come back to. If I give him to you guys, it’s still my baby. I need him to be somebody else’s. I mean, my dad got a clean break from me, and look at him now. Don’t I deserve that?

Kristy: Finally getting some junk in this trunk.

Henry: No, I don't blame her. I was proposing for all the wrong reasons. I mean I liked her and all, but what I liked most about her was her PPO.

Henry: You saved my life this morning, and that deserves a toast even if it wasn't a real wedding.

Dr. Fields: That's how you get a woman to tear her own body apart. You promise her a baby.

Henry: I just have to say this. I basically spent the past hour on a date with William myself, and I don't know how much you know about the guy, but this is what I know. Um, he wears driving gloves, yeah. And he doesn't live with his mother, but until recently he lived above her house. And he used the word "shan't", and he wasn't being funny. And he has yet to tell a story about himself in which he is not the hero. And as your husband, I think we can do better.

Dr. Stark: Pediatric surgeons can be heartless wretches. Some would argue that I'm a case in point. But social workers, on the other hand, are bleeding hearts.

Lucy: Because even though you're whole rap is about self-confidence, you're about as self-assured as a chihuahua.

Eli: Inside the hospital you're the man. That's the protocol, but outside I'm the man. I am the man. Me. Now you can call me cro magnon or old fashion, but that's not going to stop me from taking you home to my bed tonight and showing you what kind of man I am. Now how's that? Does that protocol suit you?

Henry: I've been thinking lately, and I think...um...I think I've figured it out...why all of your dates go so bad, so, so bad, laughably bad, and it's not your fault—it's mine because I'm not the guy on them with you.

Henry: If unibrows were my thing, I'd be all over that.

Henry: I really tried to be a gentleman about all this, but now you need to get the hell out. Letting you go was the worst thing I've ever done. It's the most painful thing I've ever done, and I'm a guy who's had 82 surgeries. My threshold for pain is pretty high. You need to get out. I'm not your best bud. I'm not your security blanket. I'm a man who's in love you who waltzed you into the arms of a damn knight on a horse. So, go to Germany and have little spaetzle-eating children. And please, for God's sake, leave me alone.