Gossip Girl: Serena van der Woodsen

Betrayal is in your nature.

I know that look. You're up to no good.

Hey, if you ever want to reflect, alone, together, I'll be around.

If I tell you, it can never leave this room.

When I'm a mother I will be nothing like you. I would rather give my kids up for adoption than be like you. Oh wait, you did that.

I've done the two-girlfriend thing; I can't do it again.

Everything you've done, spreading rumors about who I've had sex with, what alley I puked in or telling Dean Barrowby that I killed Pete Fairman, I forgave everything all because I thought one day you'd grow up. But putting up a Gossip Girl blast about Yale and the press release...

It's just sometimes that my thoughts come so fast that I get confused.

Oops! I forgot to put on underwear!

You know my mom: if it's not broke, break it.

The last thing I need is another guy. But he was just so .... smart. And funny.

Britney with the umbrella!...Posh Spice in America!

But call me sometimes. So we can get together and do that thing you didn't ask me to do.

There's something vibrating in your pocket, and I really hope it's your phone.

No. No, I wish. It's just...nobody's ever looked at the way you just did. In fact, I don't think they looked at me at all. You think I'm crazy, don't you?

Well, you guys are friends. And, Blair, you know you can tell me anything. I'd be the last person to judge anyone.

I was trying to help you, B. I took a public bullet for you. Let another rumor about me run rampant. The whole school heard, even Dan.

Take a look outside, B. My first response would be that the sky is a clear blue, easy.

I noticed the other day that you don't wear a watch. And then it occurred to me it's because you don't have a watch. You're going to need one to be punctual for all the meetings with editors and publishers, now that you're fancy and, apparently, self-important writer... You don't like it. You want the band changed.

Like you said, you're a Waldorf. You don't let people tell you who you are, you show them.

Yes! I'm pregnant and it's yours!

And you're acting like a total bitch because you're not hormonal?

Whenever something happens that is not part of your plan, you pretend like it doesn't exist. You act like you're in this movie about your perfect life, but I have to remind you that the only one watching it is you. You admitted that your period is late.

Can you just get it over with, Chuck? Say whatever pervy thing you're going say and leave.

You're right, Mom. This morning I woke up feeling a little uneasy and thought to myself "Hmm, maybe I'll call the entire junior class out to the courtyard for a little champagne toast."

Chuck. Yes, I'm still fine. I haven't heard from Georgina in two weeks, so if you'd stop calling me, I'd finally be rid of all of my monsters. Bye!

Yeah I am. You manipulative, psycho bitch! You have been planning this this whole time!

So that's it then? "Have a good summer, I'll see you back at school?"

Okay. I will see you back in the city. Fully clothed. With lots of people around. Okay?

I just think that we should ... think, before we get back together.

Oh God. Hot lifeguard has a Camaro. And not in an ironic-I've-got-a-Camaro kinda way.

Good luck on your suicide mission!

What do you say we ... just forget thinking and... follow our hearts.

Fine. While you stand here and feel sorry for yourself and denigrate the fine people of Kentwood, I'm gonna go find Dan.

Blair Waldorf, a fling? You're not exactly low maintenance.

We thought we could avoid talking about last year, well? This is fate telling us we can't.

I can't change who I am, Dan.

There's something I love about the Snowflake Ball. It reminds me of Anna Karenina, only by Anna Wintour.

Thank you so much for being such a rock these past few days. It's meant so much having you around.

I don't know if I can go away right now. My family is a disaster. My brother is lonely, my mother is losing it, and Chuck has publicly disowned our family.

I don't know. I had enough trouble with the idea of mom and Rufus dating, but now I share a sibling with my boyfriend. That's little more hillbilly than I can handle.

I'm here on a rather pathetic mission. I'm boyfriend snooping.

Without you, how else will all of the African teenagers send in updates to Gossip Girl?

Yeah, Bette Davis. I love her eyes ... her hair is Harlow gold.

It's just sometimes that my thoughts come so fast that I get confused.

I keep trying to figure out what was real and what wasn't. It doesn't make any sense.

Just because he took all the money doesn't mean our feelings weren't real.

Everything with Gabriel is perfect.

I don't hate you. But I hate lying. And you lied to me. And you lied to Poppy. And despite everything, she's still my friend and I care about her.

If you want to date Georgina, then more power to you. I would just check to see there's not an ice pick under the bed.

Did I just catch you on a walk of shame?

That was by far your best wedding. Who would have guessed nine months later Klaus would have Auf'ed?

You alone, Nate? Don't have any friends left to screw over?

Let me guess, you want to go upstairs and see if two blondes make a right?

Right now? Thirst. I need a drink. She called me a prostitute.

Haven't you ever heard of locker-room gossip? Those guys lied, or exaggerated.

Rufus is driving Jenny right into Damien's creepy arms.

You don't need Chuck. Anyone that meets you can see you're an elitist snob that belongs in a secret society. Bon chance!

Your idea is completely juvenile. But it seems to be working.

You know how Carter is. He convinced his fourth-grade class that Barneys was named after the dinosaur.

You're a good guy Nate Archibald. Can I kiss you before I kill you?

Sometimes I wish I had waited for someone special, like Patrick Swayze in Dirty Dancing.

I have no interest in your wannabe Watanabe.

Humans who venture out in light and aren't named Bass?